Max was walking in the park when she saw her: the tall, red-haired	 

The only character that I created is Genevieve Waite. The others are owned
elsewhere, but they had so much fun playing with Gen, and they went home
unharmed, so please don't be mad! <G> 

  

The Truth About Miss Fraser  

  

I was walking in the park when I first saw her: the tall, red-haired woman
with Benton Fraser's face. Miss Fraser was sitting on a bench, watching
the other people enjoying the warm spring day with a rather wistful
expression. She seemed so vulnerable and alone, as if she hadn't a friend
to share her joysor her sorrowswith. I took in the demure dress, tasteful
jewelry and make-up, and marveled at the courage it must take to so openly
express an aspect of personality that most people would consider strange
or even perverted.  

 Shyness had made me nearly friendless since moving to Chicago a year and
a half ago. I decided that if he could take such a big risk, I could take
a small one, and approached he bench. 

"Hello! May I join you?" The look on the Canadian's face as I approached
was priceless, kind of like a deer caught in headlights. Of course he
recognized me from the diner where I work. 

"If you wish." Miss Fraser said, a wary smile on her face.  

Now what? I wondered. I've started this, now what do I do? "I'm Genevieve
Waite." I held out my hand. There. Let him¼ I mean * her * decide how we
play this.  

Miss Fraser shook my hand, and smiled demurely at me. "Why hello! I'm¼ oh
dear. I guess I haven't thought this through very well." A look of
consternation crossed Miss Fraser's face.  

So this is his first time out? No wonder she looks so lost, I thought.
"That's alright. It's a beautiful day, take your time." 

"You really do know me, don't you? I mean, who I am. Inside." 

"I think that who you are inside is your business. And I think that who
you choose to be on the outside is also your business. You do look
remarkably like a man I know, yes." I figured to let her continue the
fantasy if that was what she wanted. "So, are you related to the
Constable? His sister, or a cousin perhaps?" 

"Thank you kindly." I thought I knew what she was thanking me for. She
continued thoughtfully "His cousin, yes. I think that would be best. You
know, people who know Benton well have not recognized me. How did you?" 

"I don't know, but I have seen yo¼ your cousin, and his detective friend
in the diner where I work many times. " 

"The diner near the 27th precinct, yes. You've been there about a year,
haven't you? I wouldn't have expected to see you in this part of town." 

 "Oh, I live just around the corner. I inherited the house from my
grandmother. I moved here a couple of years ago from Michigan to care for
her after she fell ill, and stayed on after¼ well. I took the job at the
diner to keep busy, and buy the groceries." Shaking off the sorrow over
Grams' passing, I grinned at her. I couldn't help it, somehow. Remarkably,
she grinned back. Benton never grinned like that, even when sharing a joke
with the detective. Suddenly I felt very special. 

"Listen, there's a coffee shop just down the street, would you like to go
there with me? It looks like rain, and I'd like to get to know you. I feel
like we could be good friends." 

"I'd like that." He said. Whether she meant the coffee or the friendship
wasn't certain. I hoped she meant both. "Thank you kindly." And that
beautiful Mona Lisa smile lit up Miss Fraser's face as we walked off
together. 

We chatted and window-shopped as we walked toward the coffee shop. We were
still a few doors away from our destination when a fat raindrop splatted
on the sidewalk in front of us. I took her arm and yelled, "Come on,
girlfriend, lets hurry before we get soaked!" and propelled her through
the coffee shop door. We collapsed into a booth by the window, laughing
and breathless. 

We giggled like schoolgirls as we ordered our coffee and watched the rain
that was now pelting down outside. Every time one of us started to speak
the giggles began again. Finally Miss Fraser sobered enough to speak. 

"Genevieve, I have a problem. Will you help me with it?" 

"If you call me Genny I will." 

"Ah, you see, that's it. It's just¼ I don't seem to have a name. I mean, I
have a name, but I don't, if you know what I mean. Not one that I can use,
now, like this. I don't really know how to go about giving myself a name.
Can you help me?" 

Names have had magical connotations for eons. Some people believe that
knowing someone's true name can give you power over them. This was a heavy
responsibility she was asking of me. "I'd consider it an honor." 

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

So there I was, sitting in a coffee shop with a woman I barely knew,
asking her to help me choose a name for my female alter ego. A name can
shape the person who wears it, and I was entrusting the task to a near
stranger. Somehow that didn't bother me at all. 

We sat in thought for a time, drinking our coffee. Finally, Genny asked me
"So, what are you looking for in a name? I mean, names can honor
ancestors, express personality, indicate religious or philosophical
beliefs. I can't think of a feminine variant of Benton." 

"No, I don't think that I would want one. Honoring an ancestor, hmmm¼
Roberta, perhaps." 

'Oh no you don't, son. You may be trying to become my daughter, but you
won't use my name to do it.' My dead father appeared in the booth beside
Genny, looking every inch the legendary Mountie that he is, and seemingly
angry with me right at the moment. 

"Dad." I said disgustedly before I could stop myself. 

"What's that?" Genny asked me. 

"My father wouldn't approve of me using his name." 

"I can imagine. I suppose your mothers' name is out, too?" 

"Well, I¼ " 

'You're darn right it is!' Dad shouted. 

"Yes." 

"OK, are there any women you admire, or would like to emulate?" 

"There is the Queen, of course, but I couldn't use her name, it wouldn't
be right." 

'Son, why are you doing this? Your dear, sweet mother must be spinning in
her grave right about now. If she weren't dead this would kill her.' 

"I hardly think so." 

"You already said that." Genny said to me. 

"I know. I'm sorry." I thought for a moment, then asked "Genny, will you
trust me to do something strange for a moment? Cover your ears, would
you?" 

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

I'm sure that I must have looked dumfounded as I asked "What?" 

"Just don't listen to me for a moment." 

"OK, whatever you say." I covered my ears and turned my head toward the
window, but watched her out of the tail of my eye as she spoke earnestly
to the empty air beside me. I'd seen Benton do the same in the diner where
I work, so I wasn't as freaked out as I might have been. 

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

 "Dad, you don't understand. I'm not sure that I understand it myself, but
this is something I have to do. There is something that I need to learn
that I can't learn any other way."  

'Son, what could you possibly mean? You're a Mountie, and you're a man, by
god. What can dressing like a woman possibly teach you?' 

"I don't know yet, Dad, but I feel very strongly that there is something.
I don't understand women and neither do you, you said so yourself. I've
been terribly confused since I nearly let Victoria ruin my life, and Ray's
as well. If I can't understand women from the outside, perhaps I can do so
from the inside, as it were." 

'So, you see this as some kind of undercover operation, then?' 

"In a way, I guess so, yes." 

'Son, you're in way over your head. I wish you'd give up this
foolishness.' 

"Dad, if you can't at least try to be supportive, I wish you'd just
leave." I turned to stare out of the window. 

After a moment, Genny slowly uncovered her ears. "Was it your father you
were speaking to?" I just nodded. "He's dead, isn't he?" I nodded again,
not trusting my voice right then. "Does he appear to you often?" 

"Sometimes. Usually when he thinks I've screwed something up, or am about
to." 

"Yeah, my dad's like that too, but he's still alive." She laughed when she
said it, then dropped her voice and asked me "Is he still here?" 

I looked around. "No." 

"So, this is a shamanic thing. I wondered." 

"Shamanic? I don't think so." But then I started thinking about shamans I
had known. There were parallels, but I was sure they were superficial.
"Although some male shamans do live as women for a time, as part of their
training." 

"Well, there you go. You're already a warrior, or at least Benton is, as a
policeman." 

"You've certainly given me a lot to think about. But this is not finding
me a name." 

"Well, I'm thinking you need something simple, something dignified and
strong. Like you." 

"Please, go on." Really, she almost made me blush! 

"How about¼ Anne. It means favored, gracious." 

I felt¼ overwhelmed. I almost started to cry I was so happy, both with the
name and with Genny's gentle understanding and willingness to help me
through this very confusing time in my life. I'm sure I was blushing as I
said "Anne Fraser. I like the sound of that. Thank you kindly, Genevieve."


"Oh really, Anne! No one calls me Genevieve except my gran¼ . Well, nobody
calls me that. It's Gen or Gennie, please." Surprisingly, she was
blushing. I don't know why. 

"Understood, Gen. But I felt that formality was needed at that moment." 

"That's OK, Anne." 

Our waitress came by just then to see if we needed any more coffee and I
glanced at my watch. Much more time had passed than I had realized. "Oh
dear. Gen, I'm sorry, but I have to run. I have a lunch engagement with
Ray and I'm afraid I have only an hour to get back downtown. I'd like to
see you again. Will you meet me next Saturday, in the park again? Say
around ten o'clock?" 

"Yes, I'd like that." 

"Until Saturday, then." I rushed out to catch the bus. 

  

I arrived in front of the Consulate at three minutes before noon and had
barely a moment to catch my breath before I spotted the green 1971 Buick
Rivera that Ray so doted on come around the corner. I truly had not
planned to meet Ray like this, but there had been no time for me to change
back into my usual clothing, and besides, Ray was my friend. And it wasn't
like he had never seen me in a dress before. When he pulled up at the curb
I smiled and waved. 

Ray was startled, to say the least. "Benny, what are you doing dressed
like that? Are you undercover again? Come on, get in the car. I'll take
you home to change before we go to the restaurant." The long-suffering
tone of his voice bothered me. 

"My name is Anne, Ray. And aren't you going to open the car door for me?" 

"Ann? Why are you using Sister Ann's name, Benny? That's just sick." 

"Oh dear. I never meant to insult Sister Ann, Ray, if that's what you
think I've done. The name was not chosen with her in mind, I assure you.
Ray, the door?"  

I don't know what he was grumbling about as he walked around the car, but
at least this time he didn't threaten to hit me with my purse. Ray can be
so sensitive. 

"So, where would you like to eat, Ray?" I asked as he slid in under the
wheel. 

"No where until we get you changed, Benny." 

"Anne, and I don't need to change, Ray. This dress should be perfectly
suitable for anywhere you would choose to dine. I'm quite comfortable with
it." 

"Yeah, well I'm not." 

"Well then, you change, Ray." Suddenly I had had enough of always having
to let Ray win. Really, he can be such a baby. 

"What?" 

"Ray, I don't understand it yet myself, but this is something I have to
do. You have always accepted me as I am, Ray. This is part of who I am." 

"You mean you really want to be a woman? Are you gonna start taking the
hormones and stuff? Are you gonna have your¼ oh, I can't even say it." 

"Say what, Ray?" 

"I like you as a man, Benny. I don't want you to become a woman. Although
if I ever met a woman like you I might be interested in getting married
again." 

"Thank you kindly, Ray, but I don't want to become a woman physically. I
realize that that sort of thing can be done.  I never realized that you
had romantic feelings for me." 

"I don't!" He started yelling really loudly, in Italian. I'd never seen
his face so red before. I was starting to worry about Ray having a stroke
when he pulled the Riv to the curb in front of my apartment building. 

"Get out, Benny." He wouldn't look at me. 

"Ray¼ " 

"Just get out, OK Benny? Or Anne, or whoever the hell you are. I can't
deal with you right now." 

I didn't know what to say to him. I sat looking at his face trying to find
a clue to his thoughts. Ray kept his eyes on the steering wheel. Finally,
I let myself out of the car and walked around to speak to him through the
drivers' window. "When will I see you again?" 

"I don't know. I've gotta think. I'll see ya around." He put the Riv in
gear and drove off. I went to my apartment and fought down tears. 

  

I called Ray at the precinct on Monday. He said he was too busy to have
lunch and he'd call me when he was free. I went by the precinct on
Wednesday. He was polite; for Ray, too polite. He was colder than
midwinter in the Arctic, actually, so after a while I just left without
even saying good-bye. Ray didn't seem to notice. He did call the Consulate
on Friday, but I was running errands for Inspector Thatcher and didn't get
his message until late afternoon. When I finally called him back he was
too busy to speak with me. I began to be afraid that our friendship was
over, and I didn't really know why. 

  

All of the trouble with Ray only compounded my nervousness over becoming
Anne again, to meet my new friend Genevieve on Saturday. I awoke at dawn,
as usual. After breakfast and a walk with Diefenbaker I stood in front of
the closet staring at my two dresses. There was really nothing to decide,
since I didn't want to wear the same thing I had worn last week. Getting
into make-up and my wig was quicker than I expected. I guess practice does
make perfect. While I dressed I explained to Dief that I was meeting my
new friend, and of course he wanted to meet her too. Since I would be
going to a park I agreed to take him, which meant we would have to walk.
Wolves are not accommodated by Chicago's public transit system. Anyway, I
arrived right on time to find Genny sitting reading in the exact spot
where she had found me last week. 

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

The week passed very slowly for me. The detective came into the diner
once, but the Mountie wasn't with him. My usual after-work activities
couldn't hold my attention for long. I kept being distracted by thoughts
of Anne Fraser, wondering what she was doing, what she might be thinking.
I seldom gave much thought to the fact that Anne was really Benton. I
accepted her at face value, I guess. 

I awoke at the crack of dawn on Saturday. I usually sleep until eight or
nine on the weekends so I wondered why I was awake so early. Then I
thought about my "date" with Anne Fraser and smiled. I reveled in the
feeling of anticipation, only slightly confused at myself for seeming to
prefer the company of a she-male to that of any woman or man I ever knew. 

I bounded out of bed full of energy. After a quick breakfast I did my
usual housekeeping chores and washed a couple of loads of laundry. I made
out my grocery list. Finally, I changed into my favorite jeans and
sweater, picked up the book I was reading, and headed out to the park
about an hour earlier than necessary to meet Anne. 

There was no one using the bench where Anne had been sitting last week, so
I settled into 'her' spot and started to read. Surprisingly I was able to
keep my mind on the story. 

I was startled out of the book's universe by a white wolfish-looking
canine who was suddenly draped across my lap. "Well, hello handsome!" I
said and rubbed him under the jaw. 

"I'm sorry. Diefenbaker has no manners. It's something I've tried to work
through, but he never listens. Of course, the fact that he's deaf may have
something to do with it." 

I looked up to see Anne Fraser, looking deliciously distraught at the
miscreancy of her pet. I couldn't help thinking how lovely she looked,
with her auburn hair pulled into a loose ponytail and wearing a teal
shirtwaist dress. The color definitely suited her. 

"This gorgeous creature is yours? I should have guessed. Would you care to
sit down, or shall we walk, and let your dog run?" 

"He's a wolf, actually, or at least half wolf. He really does need to run,
if you don't mind." 

"Let's walk, then. Hiking is my favorite pastime, I go every chance I
get." 

We strolled through the park, chatting about wilderness areas we had
visited. Anne seemed quite homesick as she explained that she had had few
opportunities to get out of the city since she arrived almost three years
ago. I thought about the two of us alone deep in the forest and began
mentally planning a camping trip. I hoped she wouldn't mind sleeping in a
tent. Some people insist on staying in a hotel even when they go to the
woods. The thought of waking beside her was strangely exciting.  

Anne's trained Mountie senses must have noticed my breathing get a bit
heavy. "Are you alright? We could sit for a while, Dief can run without
us." She was all sweet concern. 

"No, I'm fine." I thought I'd better change the subject, so I asked "Were
you late meeting Detective Veccio last week?" 

I guess I hit a nerve, because her stride faltered, but she recovered
quickly. 

"I didn't have time to change if I were going to meet him on time. I don't
know why, but he was angry with me. Ray hasn't been willing to see me, to
see Benton, all week." 

"Oh Anne, I'm so sorry." 

"Well, it's his loss." She said bravely. I wasn't fooled, she was hurt. I
wanted to thwap Veccio up side of his head. What was it about Anne that
brought out this protective urge in me? 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

"No. Yes. I don't know. I was hoping he could accept me, he has always
seemed very open-minded. He even said he might marry again if he met a
woman like me. Oh dear, you don't think he believed I was 'coming on' to
him, do you? Ray is my best friend, but I'm not¼ Oh dear. Perhaps I sent a
signal that he misread." 

"I can't imagine you sending a signal like that, but I can see how he
might think he received such a message." 

"Oh dear." 

"From what I've seen of Ray Veccio, I believe he'll get over it. Benton is
his friend, and he's loyal to his friends. Bur he may never wholly accept
you, Anne." 

We walked on in silence for a time. Finally Anne spoke again. 

"Would you care to have lunch with me, and maybe go shopping after? I need
some more clothes." 

Of course, I readily agreed. We found a sidewalk café so the wolf could
stay with us. As we ate Anne told me stories of the far north. I enjoyed
them all, especially the Inuit legends. When I told Anne so she got a
strange look on her face, but quickly shrugged it off. I started to ask
about it, but something in her manner stopped me. I asked about her
shopping plans instead. She wanted casual clothes, suitable for outings in
the park and hiking. I knew of a shop that would have what she wanted and
catered both to tall women like her and to short women like me, so after
desert we went there. 

Shopping with Anne was great fun for me. She blushed so prettily when we
looked at undergarments, and nearly panicked at the thought of trying on
clothes in the dressing room. She was going to buy some things, try them
on at home and return any that didn't fit, can you imagine? I offered to
stand guard for her, and she finally agreed to try her garments in the
shop. To make her feel better I had her stand guard while I tried on a few
things. It seemed to help. 

She bought slacks and jeans, a couple of blouses, a sweater and a pair of
sneakers. She also bought stockings and a garter belt after I pointed out
to her that pantyhose were not her only choice, and some knee-hi hose to
wear with the slacks. I got a twinset and a sweatshirt trimmed with
Battenberg lace from the clearance rack that was too pretty to pass up. We
parted company back in the park, but not before Anne had gotten my phone
number (it seems she doesn't have a phone herself) and a promise to meet
again the next Saturday, same time same place. I walked home on a cloud. 

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

Dief and I walked home. I don't think my feet touched the ground the whole
way. I had seldom felt this happy and carefree. I didn't know if it was
due to the success of my gender experiment or to the company of my new
friend. Perhaps it was a little of both. Genny truly accepted me as a
female although I knew that she knew the truth. Her reaction was very
liberating for me. I knew that I would continue to cross-dress, if only to
be with her. 

When I got home I hung my new clothes in the closet, fed Dief, fixed
myself a cup of tea and settled down to read the new issue of McLeans.
When I realized that the sun had gone down and I needed to switch on a
lamp, I put the Canadian magazine down, took off my wig and changed into a
T-shirt and jeans, then fixed my dinner.  

I had washed up the dishes and begun to remove my make-up when someone
knocked at my door. Dief only glanced toward the door then went back to
his nap, so I knew it wasn't a stranger. "Who's there?" I called through
the still-closed door. 

"Benny, it's me, Ray. Can I come in?" 

"Of course, Ray." I answered as I opened the door. "It's good to see you.
How are you?" I asked as he entered.  

"I'm fine Benny. You?" 

"I'm well, thank you for asking. How is your family?" I asked as I resumed
washing my face. 

"They're fine, Benny. Is that make-up on your face? 'Cause if it is, we
really need to talk." 

"I was hoping you would be willing to talk, Ray. Yes, it is make-up. Anne
went shopping with a friend today, a woman friend. She had a wonderful
time." 

"Anne is you, right?" 

"Yes Ray." 

"So why are you talking about her as if she's another person? You know,
when you showed up at the station dressed like a woman that time when we
were helping out Sister Ann you kinda surprised me, but I figured you only
did it because there was no one else available to go undercover. Now it
looks like the perfect Mountie I've come to know and love is seriously
kinky. I don't know how to take that. You've always seemed so straight
laced, Benny. Hell, I've seen you literally run from women, and now it
looks like you want to be one. Tell me what's going on, Fraser." 

"Ray, I don't entirely know, but I'm working on it. Yes, when you needed
someone to go undercover at St. Fortunata's school I thought how hard
could it be to impersonate a woman? Well, except for the pantyhose, it
wasn't too bad. I also found out that women aren't nearly as bewildering
if they think you are one of them." 

"Benny, that makes no sense." 

"Well, I know, Ray. The whole thing makes no sense, and until I can make
some sense of it I can't let it go. Do you understand?" 

"I understand that when you get a puzzle in your head you don't stop until
you figure it out. So you want to understand women? Can't be done Benny,
not by a human male." 

"Well, you see Ray, if I can pretend well enough that I am a woman I may
learn to think as a woman, and then I will understand them. At least it's
worth a try." I'm not sure I told Ray the whole truth, but I did tell him
all the truth that I knew. 

"And once you understand them what are you gonna do? No. Don't tell me, I
don't wanna know. Sorry I asked. Since you seem to be back to yourself
now, you wanna go out and shoot some pool or somethin'?" 

"Sure Ray, sounds good." 

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

On Monday Benton and the detective came into the diner. The place was
swamped, and they weren't in my section so I didn't get to speak to them.
Benton smiled at me and nodded as if to say things had been smoothed over
between them. They certainly seemed to be getting along. I hoped so;
Benton needs his friends. 

I saw them again on Thursday. This time they sat at my station. Veccio was
his usual charmingly sarcastic self, and Benton was actually flirting with
me. I wondered if this was his way of showing his friend that he liked
women, or if he was really interested in me. Either way, I flirted back.
What can I say, flirting is fun, and harmless. 

  

That evening I got a phone call. 

"Gen, it's Anne Fraser." 

"Hello Anne. How are you?" 

"I'm fine, thank you kindly. And yourself?" 

"Actually, I'm a little bored. I can't seem to keep my mind on my
reading." 

"Maybe we could go out somewhere. Take in a movie, or listen to some
music, perhaps?" 

"Anne, that's a wonderful idea. There's a Celtic Rock band from Toronto
playing at the Silver Thistle that are supposed to be pretty good." 

"That sounds fine. Shall I meet you there, say in an hour?" 

"Yes, see you then." 

  

I had to rush like a madwoman to get ready to go out. My hair needed to be
curledthank goodness for molecular rollers--- and I needed makeup.
Deciding on clothes was nerve-wracking. I finally settled on my new
twinset and a tartan skirt with low heeled shoes. While I was getting
ready I kept asking myself why I was so nervous, this wasn't a date, just
girlfriends getting together. But I couldn't convince myself; Anne was too
special. 

I got lucky and found a parking spot a few doors down the block from the
Silver Thistle. I walked up to the door exactly one hour after Anne's
call, and she was already there, standing by the door waiting for me. Her
face lit up when she saw me and I felt warm all over from the glow of that
smile.	

"Gen, I'm so glad you could come out tonight." Anne said, and hugged me
quickly. This time she didn't seem to notice me breathing hard as we went
into the pub and found a table. Anne insisted on having a seat facing the
entrance, which is my usual preference. I have some martial arts training,
but her RCMP training should be even better. I decided to trust her with
my back.  

The band was on a break when we entered, so we ordered soft drinks and
looked around to check the place out. When we were both satisfied as to
the layout and our route to the exits we turned to each other. I decided
to break the ice. "I really love the way you've accessorized that outfit,
Anne." She was wearing the navy slacks and blouse she had bought on
Saturday with a scarf, belt, and jewelry that I hadn't seen before. Her
hair was loose and hanging straight to her shoulders with a slight flip up
at the ends. She looked delicious. 

"Thank you kindly. The jewelry was my mothers'" 

Before the conversation could go any further the band returned to the
stage, so we settled in to listen. There were five young men: two played
bagpipes, one played guitar and one played drums. The last sang and played
the pennywhistle and keyboards. They all were dressed similarly in kilts
and t-shirts, with hiking boots. Instead of sporrans, the boys wore hip
packs. They played a mixture of original music and traditional tunes set
to a rock and roll beat. I loved them, and from watching her swaying to
the rhythms I believe Anne did too. 

When the band finished their set I excused myself and went to the ladies
room. When I came back, Anne was talking with a man who had been sitting
near us. As I approached he walked back to his own table, but kept looking
toward us. Anne was trying to ignore him, looking pensive. 

"Is there a problem, Anne?" 

"Well, it's very embarrassing, Gen. I believe that man was coming on to
me, and I'm not sure he believed me when I told him I wasn't interested.
I'm afraid that he will try again to convince me to leave with him. What
shall I do?" 

"Well, I think I could take care of him, if you want me too." 

"Oh, would you? Thank you kindly, Genny. I'm sure he believes that I will
do as he wishes." 

"Don't be too sure you want to thank me yet, I can only think of one way
to be certain he doesn't bother you again." 

"I'd be grateful for anything you could do, Gen." 

"O.K. I would do most anything for you, Anne." 

We needed fresh drinks, and our waitress was swamped, so I went over to
the bar to get our refills. As Anne had predicted, the man was at our
table again putting the moves on her. I walked over and put my plan into
action.  

"Anne, dear, is this MAN bothering you?" I turned to the person in
question. "Look, you miserable creep, I won't have you putting your grubby
hands on her. She's MINE, do you understand?" 

"Gee, lady, I didn't know it was like that." He turned to Anne. "Sorry I
bothered you, Miss." Then he walked away, muttering under his breath "Man,
you dykes oughta wear name-tags or somethin'." 

He left the pub, and I couldn't help laughing. I wasn't sure what was
funnier: the way the creep backed off or the scandalized look on Anne's
face at what I had done. 

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" I said, still laughing. "I tried to warn
you." She didn't answer right away, and then the band started playing
again, making conversation impossible. By the time the set ended Anne
seemed to have found the humor in the incident, or at least to have let it
go. 

"Oh my, it's getting late, and I have to work the breakfast shift
tomorrow. Do you need a lift home?" 

"Thank you kindly." 

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

I awoke early, even for me. Despite the late night I felt well-rested, so
I got up, fed Diefenbaker, and dressed for work in my brown uniform, since
we weren't expecting any visiting dignitaries, nor was I scheduled for
guard duty. Instead of cooking breakfast I headed out to the diner near
the 27th. 

Gen was working behind the counter, so I took a stool there. "Good
morning, Miss Waite" I said as she came over to take my order.	

"Good morning Constable. You're out early today." 

"My cousin tells me that she had a wonderful time with you last evening." 

"I'm so glad she enjoyed herself. I like her company; she's a lot of fun
to be with. So, what do you want for breakfast?" 

I ordered quite a lot of food, surprised to find that I was ravenous. Gen
and I kept up a running conversation while I ate and she waited on other
customers. I was nearly finished eating when Ray came in and took the
stool next to mine, a huge smile on his face. 

"Hey, Benny. I was driving past on my way to pick you up and saw Dief
outside. What brings you out this early? Can I get a coffee please?"  

While Genny got his coffee I considered just how to answer him. "I was
hungry, Ray." 

"Hey!" Ray laughed. "Good answer, Benny. So, you finished eating? I'll
drive you to the consulate." 

"Thank you kindly, Ray." I started to follow him out of the diner, then
turned back. "Just a moment, Ray. Miss Waite, Genny, if you're not busy
this evening, would you care to have dinner with me?" 

"I'm not doing anything I can't get out of. I'd like that very much." 

"Good. Shall I pick you up at seven?" 

"Sure. I'll write down the address for you." 

I took the slip she had written her address on, and followed Ray out to
the Riv.  

"Did you just ask that waitress for a date?" 

"Yes, Ray." 

"Way to go, man! Way to go! Benny has a date! Wow. Oh wow.
Congratulations, man." 

"Ray, it's just dinner." 

"Yeah, but do you realize how long it's been since either of us had a
date? I'm happy for you, Benny." 

"Thanks, Ray." 

"Don't mention it." 

"I won't" 

"Fine. 

"Okay."  

"Good." 

"Good." 

"Whatever." 

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

Benton arrived at my door promptly at seven. I expected to see him in
uniform, but was pleasantly surprised to see him all in black; jeans,
t-shirt and leather jacket, his uniform Stetson in his hand. "Hi, Benton.
Won't you come in?" 

"Good evening, Genevieve. I thought you might like these." Benton offered
me a bouquet of spring flowers that had been hidden by his hat. 

"Oh, how lovely! Thank you. I'll just get a vase for these. Please, make
yourself at home." I went into the kitchen for the vase, and returned to
find Benton seated in my favorite chair. I placed the vase of flowers on
the coffee table and sat on the couch facing Benton. "Ummm, I love the
fragrance of lilacs, thank you so much for bringing them."  

"They're my favorite, too. You're very welcome." His warm smile drew an
answering grin from me. We sat in silence for a few moments. I wondered if
we would find that we had nothing to say to each other, and if our date
would be a dismal failure. Finally, Benton broke the silence. 

 "What are your favorite foods?" he asked me. "I tend to eat a lot of
Italian and Chinese, but I can eat most anything. I remember one time, I
was ..." He told me stories of eating some pretty strange things in
various places over the years. I was amazed that there was apparently
nothing he would not at least attempt to eat. I guessed that food was
scarce in the far north.  

I enjoyed his stories. He could make some of the weirdest things sound so
funny, and I almost felt as though I were there in his stories. "... But
here I am blathering on. What kind of food did you say you liked?" 

"Well, I never got a chance!" I laughed. "Greek is my favorite, and I like
Italian and Chinese as well, and Mexican food." 

"I don't believe I've ever had Greek food." 

"Would you like to try it? There's a great Greek place called the
Parthenon about a mile from here. I can drive us, or since it's such a
nice evening we could walk" 

"That sounds wonderful. Shall we go, then?" 

We walked to the restaurant in near silence, though Benton did tell me a
couple more stories of the frozen tundra he called home. There was
homesickness in his voice, but I don't think he knew it. I laughed so hard
at the tale of Diefenbaker and the arctic hare that I was in serious
danger of being picked up for public lunacy. 

The restaurant owner greeted us at the door. "Genny, so good to see you
tonight!" enthused George in his thick Greek accent. "And I see you have
brought a friend with you, good, good! Welcome to the Parthenon, Sir, I
hope you enjoy your evening here. Genny, your usual table is available.
Please, follow me." 

"Is Maria in the kitchen, George, or has she gone home by now?" 

"She's here, we have a large party in the upstairs room later so she
stayed to help the night cooks." 

"Oh, good. My friend isn't familiar with Greek food, so I was hoping she
would prepare something special for him." By this time, we were seated,
with menus in front of us.  

"I'll send Nikos right over to take your orders. Enjoy your meal." George
left us to peruse our menus. 

"I have heard of some of these dishes, but I don't know what to order.
What would you recommend?" Benton asked me. Just then Maria, the
Parthenon's chef and George's wife, approached our table. A full head
taller than her husband, Maria did not look like the grandmother that I
knew her to be. With her up-swept black hair, beautiful olive skin and
black eyes, Maria looked like a mother goddess, not a chef. The mother
image was appropriate since she seemed to have adopted me. 

"So, you bring me a new customer, eh?" Maria's accent was even thicker
than was her husbands'. "And so handsome! I hope you will bring him here
often!" 

Benton blushed beautifully as I answered Maria. "Well, it's our first
date. Where else would I bring him but to the best chef in Chicago?" 

"Yes, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Do you know what
you want to eat? I'll cook your meals myself." 

"Thank you, Maria. Benton, what appeals to you?" The menu had good
descriptions of the dishes, which is what first attracted me to the place.


"Well, several items sound yummy." 

"I tell you what, I make you a little bit of all my best dishes. Next time
you come you will know what you like, alright?" 

"Thank you kindly, Maria, that will be fine." 

"Maria, do you have any trout today?" 

"Ah, why did I know you would ask that? Yes, and crab meat stuffing. What
kind of vegetables you want?" 

"Do you have zucchini and tomatoes today?" 

"Yes, and the carrots you like. And you, gorgeous, you want the same?" 

Blushing furiously, Benton just nodded. "Good. I better go get this
started, then." Maria left in the direction of the kitchen. 

"So, Maria's doing my job again I see." Nikos said with a grin, as he
placed water glasses in front of us. "What would you like to drink
tonight?" 

We ordered sodas, and Nikos left. 

"You seem to be well known here." Benton said to me. "Is this excellent
service typical?" 

"Oh, yes. Anyone who has been here twice is family, and the food is so
good that almost everyone comes back. I often eat alone, and I really
appreciate the attention I get here." 

"Yes, I can understand that. Being alone has it's drawbacks." 

"I think Maria has just adopted you. She isn't usually so forward with
people until they have come here several times. She's obviously taken with
you." 

"She doesn't know me." 

"No, but she knows me. And she has eyes." That made him blush again. I
figured maybe I'd better quit teasing him, some men don't take that kind
of thing well. 

Nikos returned with our sodas, and steaming bowls of sunny-yellow,
slightly thickened soup with rice and tiny bits of chicken in it. I
inhaled the delicious fragrance, and then took a spoonful. "Ummm, I could
live on this stuff." 

Benton looked at his soup carefully, then brought a spoonful to his nose
and inhaled deeply. "Lemon, and chicken." he said, then took a bite. 

"Very good. And rice, obviously. It's called avgolemono soup." 

"We didn't order this, did we?" he asked, and continued eating. 

"It's served as the first course with all meals here. Don't you like it?" 

"No, no, I like it very much, I just wasn't expecting it. I guess I didn't
read the menu very carefully." 

"Ah. Well, Maria interrupted you." 

"Yes." 

We finished our soup in silence, and I again wondered if we weren't going
to be compatible. The change from Anne's chattiness was disconcerting, to
say the least. I was casting about in my brain for a topic of conversation
when Nikos delivered our meals, and fresh sodas. 

Benton examined the items on his plate, picking things apart with his fork
and bringing forkfuls to his nose. He noted the various layers in the
moussaka (an eggplant, beef, tomato and cheese casserole) and
spanikotiropita (spinach pie). He unwrapped the grape leaves from one of
the dolmathes to find the ground meat and rice, but I didn't think he saw
the pine nuts in the end of the roll. That would surprise him when he ate
it! About the time I was wondering if he was going to play with his food,
or eat it, my thoughts were interrupted. 

"Do you know what you're looking at?" George appeared, smiling broadly, at
Benton's elbow. Pointing out each item as he spoke, George took over
Benton's education in Greek cuisine. "This is moussaka, spanikotyropita,
dolmathes, and pastitso." Benton repeated the names back to him
flawlessly. George nodded, said "I hope you enjoy your meal" and left us
alone again. 

I busied myself with my meal, and watched Benton's reactions as he tasted
each item on his plate, repeating the name of the food with each bite to
memorize it. If his expressions meant anything, he seemed to like
everything. He smiled at every bite of moussaka. When he ate the dolmathes
I was interested to note the slight tightening of the eye muscles at the
sharp taste of the grape leaves, then the eyebrows arch in surprise when
he crunched a pine nut. 

"You know, I like the moussaka best, too." I said. He looked startled,
then grinned. 

"I guess my face gives me away. How's your fish?"  

"Excellent, as usual. Maria's the best cook I know, but don't tell my
mother I said so." 

"Don't worry. It's our secret." he nodded conspiratorially, completely
deadpan. Was he serious? What had happened to Anne's sense of humor? When
Benton took off Anne's clothes, apparently he also took off her
personality. I revised my expectation of our date, and started to relate
to Benton as to a stranger that I wanted to get to know. With that simple
change in attitude I felt better about how the evening was progressing. 

"So, what do you do at the consulate?" I asked him. 

"We assist Canadian citizens who reside in the tri-state area, or are here
as tourists, and facilitate trading alliances between Canadian and
American companies." 

Well, that didn't seem to be very informative, so I tried again. "And what
exactly is it that YOU do? I see you with Detective Veccio quite often
during working hours." 

"I am the deputy liaison officer. I liaise with the Chicago Police
Department whenever Canadian interests intersect with local law
enforcement."  

Hmmm, pedantic, but still better than his last answer. I decided to devote
myself to finishing my trout.  

Just as we were finishing the last bites of our meals Nikos appeared
again, this time to offer us dessert. "Maria is making loukoumades; if you
would like to try them, she said they're on the house." A big grin spread
over my face. I'd wanted to try the yeast-raised dumplings, and had never
lucked into being at the restaurant on the rare occasions when they were
being made. 

"Loukoumades?" asked Benton. 

"They are kind of like a Greek doughnut." 

"Tell Maria thank you kindly, I think we would like to try the
loukoumades." 

We made small talk while waiting for dessert. I was sorry to learn that he
had no immediate family, and that he was not close to any of his cousins.
He asked lots of questions about my family. I told him about growing up as
the first child of eight, and a bit about what each of the others was
doing now. I was surprised to realize that I wasn't certain just how many
children my siblings had so far produced. I don't usually talk so much
about my family, and myself but Benton drew me out easily. I was glad that
we were starting to communicate.  

The loukoumades turned out to be well worth the wait, served hot and
covered in honey, cinnamon and sesame seeds. Benton asked me not to tell
Diefenbaker about them. It seems that Dief has a weakness for doughnuts,
and Benton has been trying to keep him away from them for the wolf's
health. I readily agreed. It wouldn't be difficult. After all, I wasn't in
the habit of discussing things with wolves. 

After we finished our desserts and coffee, George saw us to the door. 

"You run an excellent establishment, sir. I hope to eat here again soon."
Benton complimented George. 

"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Please, come back anytime." 

We decided to stroll through the park on the way back to my house, to
settle our dinners and enjoy the beautiful spring evening, chatting easily
now. I invited him in for coffee when Benton walked me home, but he shook
my hand at the door and left, citing a need to get home and walk Dief.	

I had coffee alone, thinking about how different Benton was from Anne.
Benton was very polite, even formal, and not willing to reveal too much
about himself. Anne seemed much more open, and vulnerable. I wondered what
distinctions he saw in gender roles that caused such a dichotomy. Being a
firm believer that people can be what they want to be regardless of
gender, I determined that I would question Fraser about this, in both of
his guises.  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

  

  

'I like her, Son. Good head on her shoulders.' 

"Dad, could you warn me when you're going to show up? Of course you like
her, you've liked every woman I've so much as talked to since you died." I
had barely left Genny's door when my father appeared, walking at my side. 

'Now that's just not true, Son. I never liked that Metcalf woman, even
before she tried to kill you and the Yank. Are you saying that you don't
like her?' 

"Who, Victoria?" 

'No, no. Genny. Try to follow the conversation, Son.' 

"I like Genny very much." 

'Well, there you go, Son. A June wedding would be nice.' 

"Dad, we just started dating. I hardly think you should be thinking about
marriage."  

'That's the trouble with you, Son. You always put things off 'till the
last minute.' 

"Oh, Dad. Can we drop this line of conversation?" 

'As you wish, Son. I'll just walk on with you, though, if you don't mind.'


"Sure, Dad. Stick around."  

'Thanks, Son.'	

  

The next morning I did some chores in the apartment then got 'dressed' to
meet Genny in the park near her home. I was almost ready to leave when
someone knocked on my door. I opened it to find Ray standing in the
hallway. He had his usual big grin on his face, until he realized that
'Anne' had opened the door. 

"Hey, Benny. You starting to hang around the house dressed like that now?"


"Anne, Ray. And no, I'm going out." 

"Oh, yeah, Anne. I'm sorry. You gonna meet that girlfriend of yours?" 

"Yes, Ray. She's expecting me." 

"So, can I meet her?" 

"You already have met her, Ray. It's Genevieve Waite, from the diner." 

"The girl you had the date with last night?" 

"That's right, Ray." 

"Does she know about you? I mean, that you're the same person?" 

"Yes, she does, Ray. She recognized me immediately. Which you did not, if
you recall." I had to remind him that he doesn't know everything. 

"And she doesn't mind...this?" Ray gestured toward me, or to be more
precise toward my clothing. "She's dating you both ways? She must be some
girl. So, can I tag along, or what?" He had his 'I dare you to try to stop
me' grin on his face. 

"I would like you to get to know her, Ray. It's important to me that you
two be friends." 

"You getting serious here? You gotta be careful, Benny. You know what
happened the last time you got serious about a woman." 

"The circumstances are completely different, Ray. Believe me, I'm not
going to let another woman come between us. But unless you can call me
Anne I don't want you to come along today. Can you try, for me?" I really
did want him and Genny to be friends. 

"Yeah, I can try that, Annie." Now Ray wore the warm smile that first led
me to realize that this man was my best friend. "Come on, are you ready to
go?" 

"I was just going to put on some jewelry. What do you think, gold or
silver?" 

"Like I care. Come on, Annie, don't get me into that. I used to get into
huge fights with Ange over that kind of stuff. I refuse to do it with
you." 

"Understood. I'll be ready in a moment, Ray." 

"OK, I'll go get the car. Come on, Dief." 

  

  

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

  

The white wolf greeted me as soon as I arrived at the park the next
morning. "Hello, handsome" I greeted him, and we played a short game of
tag before he lead me to the park bench where Anne was waiting for me,
with her Italian friend. 

"Hello, Anne, Detective Veccio." I nodded to the detective as I gave Anne
a hug. 

"Good morning, Gen." said Anne, as she nudged the detective and motioned
for him to stand. 

"Ah yes, well, I don't believe we've been formally introduced. This is the
first time I've seen you outside of the diner." said Ray, as he picked up
my hand and kissed it, then looked pointedly at Anne. 

"Oh dear, where are my manners? Genny, may I present my friend Ray Veccio
of the Chicago police department? Ray, this is my dear friend, Genevieve
Waite." 

"Genevieve. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. It's like a song I
heard a long time ago," Ray said, and he started to sing "Oh Genevieve,
sweet Genevieve. The days may come, the days may go..." 

"I'm familiar with the song, Detective. Thank you." 

"Please, call me Ray. Now, since I have two beautiful ladies to share this
lovely day with, what would you like to do?" And he looked back and forth
between Anne and I, a huge grin on his face. I was amazed by his seeming
acceptance, now, of Fraser's cross-dressing. 

"We usually walk, and let Dief run." I said. 

"Good, then let's walk, shall we?" Ray gestured toward the nearest path,
and we started off. 

Ray dominated the conversation. If I hadn't already known he was a cop I'm
sure I would have guessed it, because he seemed to be giving me the third
degree. I'm a rather private person, and after a while I started to resent
him asking so many pointed questions about my background. I'm good at
ignoring any questions I don't want to answer, though, so I doubt Ray
learned everything he wished. Anne started to say something to get Ray to
back off when we noticed that Diefenbaker seemed to be stalking a hot dog
vendor. 

"Oh dear, I'd better go buy Dief a hotdog before he steals one. I'll be
right back. Ray, play nicely." 

As soon as Anne was out of earshot Ray turned to me, and his amiable smile
changed to a glower. "Listen, you better not be toying with my friend. I
don't understand what he's doing right now, but I won't see him hurt. Do I
make myself perfectly clear?" 

"Take it easy, Ray. Fraser is my friend, too. There's enough to go around,
I'm sure. You don't need to be jealous." 

"Jealous? You think I'm jealous?" 

"I think it's fairly obvious, Ray. It's a common thing, one friend starts
dating, the other friend feels threatened. Well, don't worry, I won't take
Fraser away from you. Few people can afford to lose a friend, and Fraser
least of all, I think." 

"So what are you trying to say?" 

"I think we can both continue to see Fraser, but the three of us ought to
spend some time together, too, as we are now. I don't want to come between
you two, but I won't give him up, either." 

"Well, you sound pretty reasonable, which I find kinda strange after the
last woman in his life. Maybe I'm being hard on you because of her, but I
mean it, you hurt him and I'll see that you regret it." 

"I understand, Ray. And it goes both ways." We fell silent then, as Anne
approached us, a self-satisfied-looking wolf whining at her heels. 

"I already bought you two, Diefenbaker, and you had breakfast before we
left home. I will NOT buy you another hotdog. So," she asked Ray and me,
"what would you like to do today?" 

Before either of us could answer, Ray's cell phone rang. "Veccio. Yes. ...
Yes. ... Okay. I'll be right there." He put the phone away and turned to
Anne. "That was Ma. I have to go do something for her, shouldn't take
long. You wanna take in a movie later?" 

"Sounds good to me. What do you think, Gen?" 

"There are several things showing right now that I want to see. I'm in." 

"Okay, how about we meet back at Be...Annie's place at two o'clock?" 

  

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

  

"I guess Ray has gotten over his problem. He seems to be accepting you
now, Anne" Gen said to me after Ray left. 

"Perhaps. I didn't much care for the way he was talking to you, though. In
a way, I'm glad his mother called him home. I was feeling a most
un-lady-like urge to slug him...and Ray is my best friend." 

"It's obvious that he cares for you very much. He's just trying to protect
you." She was right, of course. Ray has always tried to protect me, as
long as we've known each other. He still thinks that I am some naive
country bumpkin that he needs to save from the big bad city. I wonder if
I've ever let him know how much I appreciate that? At the time, I just
felt guilty that Gen had had to defend my best friend to me. However, I
had more important things to discuss with her. 

"Genny, can I discuss something with you, seriously?" 

"Of course, Anne. What is it?" 

"Shall we go somewhere, perhaps back to that coffee shop?" 

As we walked to the coffee shop, I considered what I wanted to say. The
whole point of my becoming Anne was to learn...something. I still didn't
know what I was looking for, but I was fairly sure I wasn't looking in the
right places. 

Gen sat quietly, sipping her cappuccino and looking at me, her open
expression inviting me to say whatever was on my mind. I, on the other
hand, fidgeted. I'm afraid that I made quite a production out of sugaring
my coffee, and kept my gaze anywhere but on my companion. Her patience was
truly saint-like as she waited for me to come to the point. Finally I
thought of a story that might have some bearing on the situation. 

"Ray has a friend," I began "a nun who runs a school, St. Fortunata's
School for Girls. One of her students was in trouble, and Ray volunteered
to help. He needed someone to go undercover in the school to gain
information on the girls' activities. Everyone he knew who might help was
unavailable.  

"I had never told Ray, but when I was fifteen I was in a school play.
There weren't many girls in our class, and none of them wanted this
particular role, and since we really wanted to do that particular play I
agreed to play the part. 

"I wanted to help Ray, but I didn't know if I could be convincing as a
female, so without saying anything to Ray I went to Sears and bought a
wig, a couple of dresses and all the...well, you know,
the...undergarments, and some makeup. When I arrived at the precinct no
one recognized me, not even Ray. Once I convinced him that I was me, he
reluctantly agreed to let me go into the school, with Sister Ann's
permission, of course." 

"Wait. Sister Ann? The nun's name is Ann? How ironic." 

"Yes, well, that's part of why Ray was so angry with me. Since my cover
was that of a teacher, I had simply been called Miss Fraser." 

"I'm sorry, dear. Why didn't you say something, you could have chosen
another name." 

"No, no. I love the name you gave me. That case was over a year ago, and
these clothes had been untouched in my closet since then, until the day we
met in the park. I just woke up that morning with the feeling that I
should dress up and go out... somewhere. I picked your park because I
didn't expect to find anyone I knew there." 

"Tell me more about that morning. Had you been dreaming? What exactly did
becoming a woman mean to you? 

Gen's questions really made me stop and think. Why had I felt the
compulsion that morning to dress in women's clothing and go out in public?
What had prompted it? As I thought back, I realized that my dreams for
about a week prior had been of various women I had known. I had dreamt of
my mother, who died when I was very young, and of my grandmother who
raised me. I had had a terrifying nightmare of Victoria Metcalf's return
to nearly ruin my life, and Ray's, after I had sent her to prison. I even
dreamed of Ray's sister Franchesca, who seems infatuated with me, and who
cannot seem to realize that I feel only a kind of brotherly affection for
her, and that only because of my feelings for Ray. Franchesca actually
frightens me almost as much as Victoria does, although in a completely
different way. 

I told Gen about the dreams, leaving out the nightmare. Part of my mind
was on her other question: what did being a woman mean to me? This one
would be much harder, but I needed to be able to answer it. I still hadn't
decided what to say when I finished describing the dreams. Gen ordered
another cappuccino as I sat silent, staring out the window at nothing.
After a few moments, she laid her hand gently over mine on the table
between us, and spoke. 

"All of these women in your dreams have had a huge impact on your life,
and each one has hurt you in some way. Aren't there any women you've cared
for that didn't hurt you?" 

I think that was the single most intensely personal question anyone has
ever asked me. Even Ray has never hit so close to my innermost, hidden
feelings. My first impulse was to change the subject, not answer her, not
even think about it, but Genny had done so much for me already. She surely
deserved an honest answer from me. 

I looked at her, said "I think there may be one." then quickly glanced
away again. I hesitated to continue even thinking in this vein, and asked
"Why did you ask me about my dreams?" I can admit it now: I took the
cowards' way out, and changed the subject. She deserved better from me,
but I was unable to give it. I only hope she can forgive me. 

"If Benton awoke with the compulsion to become you, Anne, I figured a
dream might have triggered it. Since your dreams had all been about women
for, apparently, several days, I think my theory is holding up." 

"Have you ever thought of entering the police academy? You would make a
fine detective." 

"I might make a fine detective, but I doubt I'll ever be one." Gen blushed
as she said it. 

"I'm sorry?" I asked, hoping she would rephrase her point more clearly. 

"Are we coming anywhere close to answering your question of why Anne
exists right now?" I guess two can play 'let's change the subject because
I'm uncomfortable with this one'. 

"You've given me much to think about. Right now, I think we should get
some lunch and then get ready to meet Ray. We have a date, girlfriend!" 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

We had a tough time deciding on a movie to see. Ray and I wanted an
action-thriller; Anne wanted to see a foreign flick. We compromised, and
went to see Babe: Pig in the City. We went for drinks after, Anne having
soda of course, Anne and Ray regaling me with stories of some of the cases
they had worked on together. 

Ray told me, with quite a lot of indignation, about the time they were
trapped in a bank vault and nearly drowned. Then Anne recounted the time
Ray had been jailed for contempt of court and Benton had stolen some
Milk-Duds in order to get thrown into jail with his friend, in order to
help him protect a reluctant witness' husband from the man the woman was
to testify against. I laughed till I thought my sides would split as they
described to me the time they were trapped in an exotic dancer's closet,
listening to her boyfriend talking about criminal activity in his sleep. 

We decided to order a couple of pizzas and adjourn the discussion to
Anne's apartment. The topic shifted to our families, and childhood
escapades, so I was able to participate rather than just listen. We three
had very different childhoods, with Ray having grown up in a huge American
city, Anne in Canadian small towns, and me in rural Michigan. Anne had
lost both parents, Ray one, and both of mine were still living. Despite
our vastly different backgrounds, or maybe because of it, I felt that we
were laying the groundwork for a very strong friendship. 

During a lull in the conversation we all yawned, almost simultaneously,
which caused us to laugh. Ray decided that he had better get home, as he
had to drive his mother to church the next morning. 

"Anne, I've been thinking," I said after Ray had gone. "Would you like to
get out of town next weekend, go hiking and camp out with me?" 

"Where would we go?" 

"There is a state park I like to go to. I usually stay in the campground
and hike the trails, three- or four-hour treks, and then back to camp." 

"I would like to, very much." 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

"Hello?" 

"Genevieve, Benton Fraser here. There is a talk on native American
wildflowers at the public library this evening, would you like to attend
with me?" 

"Sounds interesting. Shall we meet there? It's about halfway between us." 

"Yes. See you there." 

I spent a very enjoyable evening in Genevieve's company. We went out for
bark tea after the wildflower talk. I discovered that she had an abiding
interest in the medicinal qualities of herbs. She was as knowledgeable on
the subject as the expert we had just listened to was. 

Gen had walked to the library, as had I. I saw her to her door, gave her a
quick hug, said goodnight, and made my way home. 

A few days later Ray and I spent the afternoon chasing down a robbery
suspect, finally catching him behind a green-grocers'. After booking him
Ray suggested we pick up Genny and go get something to eat. I was
gratified to find that he enjoyed her company as much as I did, so when he
handed me his phone I dialed her number. To my delight she agreed to join
us. We spent about three hours together, eating Chinese food and telling
funny stories. After Ray pulled the Riviera to the curb in front of her
house, he pulled Gen into a warm embrace, kissed her cheek and said
goodnight. I walked with her to her door, unlocked it for her and reached
inside to turn on the light. She stood close, looking up at me as she said
goodnight. I held her hand for a moment as I returned her key, then turned
to rejoin Ray in the car, so he could drive me home. 

I spent Friday evening alone, preparing for Anne's camping trip with
Genny. We were to leave early next morning. 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

I picked Anne up at her apartment at 5 AM. She had a large pack, and Dief
had one of his own. We stowed their gear with mine in the trunk of my car,
put Dief in the backseat, and started off in high spirits for the woods. 

I don't think I'd ever seen Anne so happy, and she just got more vivacious
the further we got from the Chicago. We talked and laughed and sang the
whole way to the camp. My spirits soared to see her so free and easy. 

We set up our camp, scrounged deadwood for the fire ring, then fixed our
breakfast. The forest air combined with exertion and an early start made
us ravenous. Anne turned out to be quite a good camp cook, so I did the
washing-up. 

After we tidied up the camp, we set out on a loop trail that would take us
about three hours to hike. We walked mostly in silence, Dief running along
in the woods beside the trail, showing himself occasionally to let us know
he was still with us. We were about two hours into the hike, with Anne
preceding me down a muddy slope. She lost her footing and slid halfway
down the hill on her right hip and shoulder. I scrambled down beside the
trail, holding to shrubs and grasses for support in order to reach her, my
heart in my throat. Anne was a little shaken up but unhurt, having only a
few scratches on her palm from trying to slow her descent. I got the first
aid kit out of my pack and cleaned her hand. Anne declined a bandage or
any antibiotic ointment.  

I was reluctant to let her hand out of mine. I remembered what my mother
had always done whenever I had a scratch or bruise, and couldn't resist
using her medicine on Anne. I raised her palm to my lips and kissed the
scratches gently. 

Anne's indrawn breath caught in her throat, and she asked, "Gen, what..." 

"Mother always kissed my boo-boos, to make them better." 

"You were a child; I'm an adult." Her face belied her words, however, and
she made no effort to remove her hand from mine. This seemed like a good
time to speak my mind, so I plunged in. 

"Anne, you must know...how I feel about you." 

"How do you feel about me, Gen?" She looked steadily into my eyes. 

"I love you, Anne." She gasped, and dropped her eyes. "I always want to be
with you. I want to protect you, shelter you, cherish you. I want to make
sure you eat right, and that you're warm enough. I want you to be happy. I
love you." As I said these things her eyes sought mine again. In them I
saw first hesitation, disbelief, fear, and finally something like
acceptance. When I leaned in and kissed her lips gently she returned it
shyly. 

I can't tell you how happy I was at that moment. I do believe it's the
high point of my life so far. 

"What about Benton?" Anne asked quietly. The question would have seemed
strange to anyone else, I'm sure, but I knew the answer. 

"Anne, I love you, both of you; ALL of you. Benton will realize that, when
he's ready." 

"He had a very bad experience once, when he thought he was in love." Her
eyes glimmered with unshed tears as she spoke.	

"Shhh, precious, it's alright." I gathered her into my arms, and kissed
her forehead, her cheeks, her eyelids, until her trembling slowly
subsided. After a moment she kissed me, and I knew that we would never
part. 

After a moment I stood, and offered her a hand up. She kept my hand in
hers, and we walked off down the trail that way, until a rough area forced
us to separate. 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

I was very excited about the camping trip. Dief and I had been too long
away from the wilderness where we belong, and the thought of sleeping
under the stars was very inviting. 

Genny and I laughed and sang all morning as we drove to the state park and
set up our camp. After a breakfast I cooked over the campfire, we went to
hike one of the trails that Gen was familiar with. 

We were coming down a large hill when Gen warned me that the trail became
slick when wet. Although I knew that there had been rain the day before,
being an experienced outdoorsmanor should I say outdoorswoman? I felt that
I could ignore her warning. Suddenly I was sliding on my rear down the
mossy slope. 

"Anne!" Genny yelled, and she scrambled down to where I had come to rest.
She fussed over me, insisting on doctoring the scrapes on my hand. She
seemed very concerned for my well being, and I allowed her to play the
mother hen, shamelessly enjoying the attention. The next thing I knew, Gen
was kissing me, and telling me she loved me. 

My heart swelled almost to bursting. She loves me! But then I remembered
Victoria and my initial joy was damped. Still, Genny is nothing like
Victoria, nor is she a criminal. Although I could not say 'I love you' to
Genny at that time, I returned her kisses, and that seemed to be enough.
After a moment she stood, and helped me up. We walked off hand in hand,
until the vagaries of the trail forced us to separate. 

I'm afraid I wasn't very much company the rest of that afternoon. I was
lost in thought, but Gen seemed content to allow me time to come to terms
with her declaration. I had been taught that it was the duty of a man to
protect and cherish a woman. I had never thought someone would want to do
these things for me, but then I seemed to be a woman at the moment. But
then why was Gen, a woman, interested in me? Shouldn't she be looking for
a man? Of course, I am a man. It was all so very confusing. Did this mean
that the gender roles I had been taught had no basis in reality? I was now
even further than ever from being able to answer Genny's question of what
being a woman meant to me. The more important question at the moment was
whether I could learn to return her love, as she so richly deserved. Did I
want to? The answer to the last, I was fairly sure, was yes. 

We hiked another trail that evening, had a meal by the campfire, and sat
under the stars enjoying the fine spring evening. Finally the long day of
hiking and emotional turmoil got the best of me. "Gen, I guess I had
better turn in." I said, yawning. 

"Turn into what?" she asked, her face perfectly deadpan. It was the kind
of thing I would say to annoy Ray, which made me laugh. 

"We should get some sleep. Dief will want to be on the trail before dawn,
if I know him." 

"Yeah, well I won't be hiking that early, no matter what the wolf says."
she laughed. "I'll bank the fire, why don't you go on into the tent and
get settled. I'll be in in a moment." 

I was glad for the privacy to change from the slacks and blouse I had been
wearing into the flannel gown I had bought for the occasion. It reminded
me of the nightshirt I had seen my father in occasionally, so although I
didn't expect to be comfortable, I felt I could maintain the charade
overnight. I stretched out on my bedroll, and tried to get to sleep before
Gen came into the tent. 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

Anne was very quiet all that afternoon and evening. After dinner we sat by
the fire, each perusing our own thoughts. I wondered if I had freaked her
out by telling her how I felt about her. When she began to yawn, I sent
her to bed, then sat by the fire with Dief. The wolf sat beside me, and
leaned his shoulder into mine. "You know her better than I do, handsome.
Is she OK with this?" For answer, the wolf licked my face. "Thanks, buddy.
I guess I better get to bed. You wanna sleep in the tent, or outside?" He
ran to the tent and curled up next to the door. I went inside, and zipped
the screen door closed. 

I had already laid out my pajamas on the foot of my sleeping bag, so I was
easily able to change by moonlight. Anne was lying on her back, and she
turned her head toward me as I lay down beside her. 

"Where's Deif?" 

"Right outside. Do you want him to come in?" 

"No, he'll be happier outside." 

"Well, goodnight Anne." I kissed her forehead, then laid my head on my
pillow, expecting to go right to sleep. 

"Genny?" 

"Yes, Anne?" 

"Would you...hold me?" 

"Of course, precious." I gathered her into my arms. She placed a quick
kiss on my jaw, settled her head on my shoulder, and sighed. Neither of us
spoke, and I thought she had fallen asleep until I felt her arm go around
my waist. After a moment she started to speak, so softly at first that I
wasn't sure I was really hearing her voice. 

"There was a woman, once. Benton tracked her up above the 62nd parallel,
to a place called Fortitude Pass. He lost his packs with all of his
supplies, but he kept going until he found her, huddled into the lee side
of a mountain crag. She was very nearly frozen when I...when he found her,
so he staked a lean-to, draped his coat over it, and pulled her inside. He
covered her body with his to warm her, and talked to her to keep her from
slipping away. Meanwhile, a snowstorm raged for a day, and a night, and a
day. The whole world was white. After a while, Benton became delirious, he
almost gave up, but then she began to talk to him, and the sound of her
voice never wavered. Finally the storm broke, we made our way down the
mountain, found Bentons' packs by some miracle, and eventually made it
back to the outpost that Benton had set out from." 

Anne fell silent, so I asked "Why was she out there? What prompted Benton
to track her?" 

"There had been a bank robbery in Alaska. We had information that the
criminals may have gotten over the border, by plane. She was the only one
who made it. She had been abandoned by the pilot after the plane went
down." 

"What happened next?" 

"They camped within sight of the outpost their last night together. She
asked Benton to let her go, and he could have. No one knew she had been
found, you see. But Benton did his duty, he took her in, and she was given
ten years in prison for her part in the robbery." 

"Doing one's duty is an admirable thing." I tightened my arms around her
for encouragement. 

"He thought he was in love with her." 

"Well now, that complicates things." I placed a quick kiss on her temple,
and she sighed again. 

"I haven't told you the worst of it." 

"Tell me as much or as little as you like." A slight tremor ran through
her, and grew stronger as she continued. 

"After she was released from prison she came to Chicago. Benton was
thrilled to have her in his life again. He needed someone to love.
Unfortunately she ...she had a darkness in her soul. Her idea of love was
more like revenge. She committed several crimes, and framed Ray and me for
them. She escaped, and has never been found." 

"Oh my, precious. Were Benton and Ray cleared of the charges?" 

"Oh yes." A pause. "Benton almost left with her, but a bullet from Ray's
gun stopped him." I gasped, and stiffened, but relaxed as Anne continued
her tale, no longer trembling. "No, no. It was an accident, he thought
Victoria was going to shoot me...shoot Benton, I mean. The bullet lodged
near the T8 vertebra, too close to the spine to be removed safely." 

"You mean you ha... Benton has... a bullet in his back?" 

"Yes." 

Victoria must have been the woman Ray had told me about. Ray never
mentioned that she had tried to ruin them both, only that she had hurt
Benton. No wonder Ray had shot at her, I wanted to kill her right then
myself. There was one question I had to ask, though. 

"Does Benton still think he loves her?" 

"No. He never really did, he was just lonely." 

"Well, precious, we'll do our best to help him get over that."	

I couldn't help myself then: I kissed her, long and slow. Finally I broke
the kiss and looked deep into her eyes. She gazed back at me with such
trust that I felt empowered to go further. I kissed her again, this time
using my tongue to get Anne to open her mouth to me. The parting of her
lips seemed to open the floodgates of her passion. Anne rolled on top of
me, devouring my mouth with hers. As our kisses became more impassioned,
our hands began to roam, learning the contours of our bodies, stoking the
fires within us to white heat.	

I was lost in the sensation of her long auburn hair brushing my face and
neck, and of her erection pressing into my thigh. Then she pinched my left
nipple, and I swear I came. It was just the beginning. Anne may not be a
woman in truth, but she certainly knows how to please a woman's body. She
licked and fondled every square inch of me, hardly letting me return the
favor. I managed to raise the hem of her gown to her waist. The feel of
her bare flesh against mine was heaven. I lost track of the number of
times I orgasmed that night. I do remember the last one, however. We were
lying on our sides, mouths to groins, and I had just been rewarded with
her ejaculate deep in my throat. I guess it was reflex, but Anne bit down
on my clitoris. It wasn't painful, far from it. The universe exploded. My
consciousness was flung outward to the farthest stars. After about a
thousand years I returned to my body, to find that Anne had reoriented
herself and was now holding me, spoon fashion, and whispering sweet
nothings. I snuggled into her body. "Love you, Anne Fraser." I mumbled. 

"Sleep now, my darling." She whispered back to me. I happily complied. 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

  

'Psst! Wake up, son!' 

"Dad? What is it?" 

'The sun's almost up, and you're still sleeping? I thought you were sick
or something.' 

"Could you keep it down, you'll wake Genny." 

'I don't think I will, son, but you might. Come outside where we can
talk.' 

"Oh alright. I don't suppose I can get back to sleep now, anyway." Gently,
I extricated myself from Gen's arms, went out of the tent, built up the
fire, and started a pot of coffee. "So, dad, what was so important that
you had to wake me?" 

'Oh, nothing, son. I just wanted to talk with you. It's been a while. I
missed you.' 

"That's it? Dad, you're dead. You must have forgotten what being with a
woman is like." 

'Oh now, this is just too much! Talking to my son about his relationship
with a woman, while he's pretending he is a woman. This is very confusing
you know, son. And straighten your wig, you look ridiculous.' 

"Oh, thanks, dad. I admit it's an unusual situation." 

'Unusual? It's downright perverse! When are you going to stop this
charade, and just be yourself, son?' 

"Dad, this is myself, or at least a part of me. And Genny says she loves
me. That feels too good for me to risk losing her by abandoning this
aspect of myself." 

'Give her a chance to love you as you really are, you might be surprised.'


"All right, I'll do that, dad." 

'Good. By the way, is that my old nightshirt?' 

"No, it isn't." 

'Oh. Well, I'll be going now, son.' 

"Goodbye, dad." 

Shortly after dad left Gen emerged from the tent, dressed for the
morning's hike. We had a pleasant day, then returned to Chicago. Before we
parted at my apartment building, we arranged to meet again the next
Thursday evening to see a movie. 

  

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

When I awoke the next morning I was alone in the tent. I heard Anne
talking softly, so I glanced out to see her brewing coffee over the
campfire. There was no sign of anyone else near her, not even the wolf, so
I dressed quietly and just sat on my sleeping bag until she fell silent,
then went out to greet her. 

"Good morning, precious. What a glorious day!" I kissed the top of her
head, sat on a log beside her and accepted a cup of coffee. 

"Gen, do you think you should have done that? What will people think?"
Anne looked around as if for eavesdroppers. 

"Whatever they think will probably be pretty far from the truth, and these
are all strangers who we're not likely ever to see again. Anne Fraser, are
you ashamed that a woman loves you? Does it bother you that folks might
think you're a lesbian? I've never been attracted to a woman before, and
you are so far from typical that I was hoping you would be all right with
it. If you're not, please tell me now, and I'll keep my feelings to
myself." How I was able to say that without crying, I'll never know. I had
just ripped my heart out and thrown it at her feet. Would she pick it up,
or stomp on it? 

"Of course I'm not ashamed. I was concerned for your reputation, that's
all." She took my free hand in hers to show me she meant it. She had
picked up my heart, making me very happy. 

"Was your father here? I heard you talking to someone." 

"Yes." She didn't elaborate, and I didn't push it. 

We had breakfast, hiked for a while, broke camp and drove back to Chicago.


  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

I was a few minutes from the end of my shift when Benton came into the
diner and offered to walk me home. He was chagrined when I pointed out
that walking would take us over an hour, but when I suggested that he
accompany me on the bus he brightened considerably. He was quite happy
when I offered to get off the bus at the park, and walk from there.  

In the park a group of children swirled around us, asking a thousand
questions about Benton's uniform and hat. When they learned that he was a
Mountie there were even more questions. I loved watching him with them;
his patience and tenderness warmed my heart. The fact that he never talked
down to the kids caught my attention, too. I was learning more about
Benton than I ever would by just talking with him, and liking what I
learned. 

We finally broke free from the children, and shortly after arrived at my
door. I invited Benton in for coffee, and he surprised me by accepting. I
had been half expecting another handshake at the door. We went into the
kitchen and sat at the table. 

"I'm impressed with the way you handled those kids at the park. Most
people would have blown them off." 

"I can't imagine what blowing on them would have accomplished." 

"No, Benton," I laughed. "It's just an expression, it means to avoid
them." 

"Ah. Well, children are just like people, only smaller. Assuaging their
curiosity was no hardship to me." 

"You seemed to be having quite a good time." 

"I do enjoy the company of children. I would like to have children of my
own, someday." 

"Seeing you today, I believe you would be a good father. Do you want a
large family?" 

"Well, you know that I was an only child. I think I would have liked
having siblings. Three of four children would be good, I think. What about
you, do you want children? I mean, someday, not necessarily...Oh dear." 

I tried really hard not to laugh at his discomfiture. "Benton, I come from
a very large family, there were eight of us, and it always seemed as if we
had to compete for everything. I mean, we always had enough for everyone,
but still sometimes it was like you could get left out, you know? So, yes,
I'd like to have children, someday. Three or four sounds perfect." I don't
know who was blushing harder, Benton or me. 

"I suppose you want to raise your children here in Chicago?" 

"Not necessarily. Like you, I'm not from here, and since Gramma died I
have no family here. I have this house, and it holds memories, but those
are also in my heart. I'm not tied here, and really I think I would prefer
some place quieter, and cleaner, to raise children in, and spend the rest
of my life in." 

Just then the phone rang; someone had dialed a wrong number, but it broke
the mood. When I got off the phone the conversation returned to safer
topics. After a while I got up and started rummaging in the refrigerator. 

"Let's see. There's not much except leftovers in here. You are staying for
dinner, right?" 

"Well..." 

"Of course you are, unless you have to get home to Dief?" 

"No, he's okay. Willy will have walked him this afternoon." 

"Oh, good. I think I'll make shepherd's pie. See if there's a can of
tomato soup in that cupboard, will you?" I asked, as I took leftover
mashed potatoes and green beans, and a pound of hamburger out of the
'fridge. Benton found the soup, and at my direction got out a can opener,
mixing spoon, and a casserole dish. I fried up the hamburger with my
secret seasonings, then mixed the other ingredients with it in the
casserole dish, spreading the mashed potatoes on top. In ten minutes we
had a casserole in the oven, in an hour it would be ready to eat.  

"We can have cottage cheese with the shepherd's pie. I'm afraid there's
nothing to make a salad with. I have a pantry full of Gramma's canned
goods, though. Would you like to pick out some fruit?"	

Benton picked up a pint jar of Montmorrency cherries that Gramma had
canned before she got sick. He interrupted my memories of picking those
cherries near Traverse City, Michigan when he asked me "Do you have some
flour, baking powder, and shortening? I could make biscuits, and with
these cherries we'd have the makings of a fine dessert to go with your
casserole." 

"Hmm, biscuits with the shepherd's pie and an impromptu cherry cobbler? If
you'll open that jar, while you're making the biscuits I'll thicken the
cherries." We grinned at each other for a moment, then got to work.
Puttering around the kitchen together felt good. With a minimum of
direction from me, Benton found the things he needed for his baking. We
criss-crossed the kitchen several times as we worked, seldom getting in
each other's way, smiling at each other and only talking enough to get the
job done. I was very comfortable with his company, and Benton seemed more
relaxed than I had ever seen him. 

After the biscuits came out of the oven, I placed the casserole under the
broiler to brown the potatoes. We set the table together, and finished
just before the potatoes could brown too much. When we were ready to sit
down, Benton held my chair for me. I smiled up at him, then turned my
attention to the table. I silently gave thanks to the goddess for bringing
this man into my life, and asked her blessing on the food as he seated
himself. I offered to fill his plate, then filled my own and we began to
eat.  

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

Give her a chance to love you as you really are. Those words echoed in my
head all day when I should have been concentrating on consulate business.
I'm sure Inspector Thatcher had trouble telling me from Turnbull by the
end of the day. I kept wondering why I could make love to Genny when I was
in women's clothing, but be uncomfortable in the same room with her when
in my usual clothing. Of course, I was uncomfortable with any woman, most
of the time. She had said she loved me, though, or at least that she loved
Anne. She also said that I would come to understand it, but it seemed
unlikely. 

As soon as my shift ended I hurried to the 27th precinct to talk with Ray.
I wanted to tell him about the camping trip, but when I arrived he was not
at his desk. Franchesca informed me that he was out interviewing witnesses
to a mugging that had occurred that afternoon, and probably would not
return for some time. I thanked her, left a note for Ray on his desk, and
left the precinct. 

I was opening the door of the diner before I quite knew where my feet had
taken me. I had not consciously gone to seek Gen, but I felt a great
weight I hadn't known I was carrying lift from my shoulders at sight of
her. I took a seat at the counter, near where Gen was filling salt
shakers.  

"Hi, Benton. Would you like some coffee?" 

"No, thank you. When do you get off work? I was wondering...that is,
I...if you're not...could I walk you home?" I have made love with this
woman, slept in her arms. Why was asking to see her home so difficult? 

"I get off in five minutes. And walking to my house would take us about an
hour and a half." 

"Oh. Oh dear. I'm sorry, you must have driven your car. Of course, it is a
long way to your home from here." 

"No, I take the bus, parking around here is a nightmare. You could still
see me home, if you want." 

"You mean, on the bus?" 

"Do you have a problem with busses, Constable?" Her grin was infectious. 

"No, no problem a-tall." I grinned back. 

"Then, as soon as I finish these salt shakers, we can go." 

The bus ride was uneventful, until it neared the park where Gen and Anne
had met. "How about we get off here, and walk the rest of the way?" Genny
asked me. She didn't have to ask twice. 

While we were passing through the park, several children noticed my dress
uniform and began asking questions. I did my best to answer them,
wondering when Genny was going to become irritated, as Ray would have
done. Don't get me wrong, I love Ray, but he lacks patience. To my
surprise, she didn't seem to get annoyed at all. 

We finally arrived at her door, and she invited me in. I was going to
decline, but I remembered my father's words, and accepted. While coffee
was brewing we spoke of the children in the park, which somehow led to me
confessing my wish to become a father. I was quite surprised by my
temerity, but she did not seem taken aback, so I must not have been too
forward. The ringing of the telephone interrupted us, and I was able to
steer the conversation to a more neutral topic after that. 

When Genny began to prepare dinner it seemed a natural thing to assist
her. I quite enjoyed cooking with her. I hadn't shared kitchen chores with
anyone since...well, that's not important now. Ray has cooked in my
apartment several times, but will never allow me to help him. He says I
get in the way. Genny and I worked together well, however. 

The meal was delicious. I would not have believed that she started with
leftovers had I not witnessed it myself. Homemade biscuits with cherries
made a nice dessert. 

The washing-up went as smoothly as the cooking had. After we finished
putting the dishes away we watched television: a documentary on wolves in
Montana. I pointed out the differences in my experience with wolves from
that of the commentator. Ray always gets angry when I do that, but Gen
asked me questions, and seemed quite interested in hearing my point of
view. 

When I thought I should head home, Gen offered to drive me, but I told her
I needed some exercise. She saw me to the door, where I kissed her cheek
said and goodnight. When I got to the corner, I looked back, and she was
still watching me. We waved to each other, and I continued on home. 

Shortly after I arrived home, Ray knocked at my door. 

"Hey, Benny, you home yet?" He shouted from the hallway. 

"Yes, I am." I said as I opened the door. "Come in, Ray." 

"I got your note, and I came by earlier, but you weren't here." 

"I went to Genny's house." 

"That woman's sure takin' up a lot of your time." 

"Well Ray, I did go to see you first, but you were out working." 

"Yeah, yeah, okay. I guess I'm a little jealous. But you know what? I like
her. I hope you and Genny work out." 

"You think we should exercise together? That might make an interesting
date. Could you recommend a gym?" 

"No, Fraser, I mean I hope you develop a serious relationship, maybe even
get married." 

"Oh. Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Ray. This weekend,
when Gen and Anne were camping, Gen said she loved me. I don't know what
to do." 

"What do you mean, you don't know what to do? You sure knew what to do
with Victoria." 

"It's not the same, Ray. Victoria was like an avalanche, irresistible and
incredibly dangerous. She swept me away, and only your quick thinking on
that train platform saved me. I don't think love was ever involved, even
if Victoria did say she both loved and hated me." 

"Then why...? No, don't say anything. I think I can guess. You two had
kept each other alive through that blizzard, and had developed some kind
of a survivors' bond, and thought it was love. And that thing on the train
platform? It was an accident." 

"I know it was. That's a very interesting insight, Ray. Yes, I think
you're right." 

"So, if Victoria's an avalanche, what is Genny?" 

Trust Ray to say something to make me think! After a moment, I replied
"Genny is...well, Genny is like the earth, solid and dependable." 

"This is what you want, right? A woman as solid as the earth, who loves
you." 

"Well, Ray, it was Anne she said she loved." 

"Wait, now I'm confused. You went on this camping trip as Anne?" 

 "Yes, Ray." 

"And Genny said she loved Anne." 

"Yes, Ray. But I did ask her how she felt about me, about Benton, and I
believe her exact words were 'I love both of you'." 

"Yeah, well, she's known from the beginning that you're you. Do you really
think you're that different when you're Anne than you are when you're
you?" 

"When I'm wearing that wig and make-up, I do feel different. I can do and
say things that I never would otherwise, things I can't in real life." 

"I have noticed one thing, though." 

"What's that, Ray?" 

"You're not talkin' about Anne like she's somebody else anymore." 

"Well, she's not anybody else, Ray. She's me." 

"I know that, but you used to talk about her like she's a different
person." 

"Ah." I realized that he was right. "Do you think that means something?" 

"Well, I dunno, Benny. You tell me." 

"I think it probably does mean something, Ray." 

"Like what?" 

"I don't know." 

"You think it means something, but you don't know what." 

"That's right, Ray." 

"Well, let me know when you find out, okay?" 

"I will, Ray." 

  

The conversation with Ray echoed in my head as I went to sleep that night.
My dreams were confused images of being caught in an avalanche and
dividing myself in two, both of me clutching at the ground to keep from
being swept away. The avalanche passed, and my dual image was safe,
resting on the warm, bare earth. After a time, one of me said 'Don't you
think it's about time we reintegrated ourselves?' The other one of me
replied 'Soon, Anne. Soon.' 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

Some time after my grandmother's will had been probated and her house
became legally mine, I had begun going through the place room by room. I
sorted out what I wanted to keep, giving some things to family members who
would appreciate them, and donating other items to charity. The job had
been going on pretty steadily for months, on weekends and a couple of
evenings a week. My bedroom hadn't needed much, since I had had Gramma's
permission to clean it out when I moved in. The kitchen, dining room, and
parlor had been my first targets. I cleaned every nook and cranny,
painted, papered and put up new curtains. Next I turned my attention to
the unused bedrooms, sorting out personal belongings of people who hadn't
lived in the house for forty years and more. 

That Tuesday evening I started in on the room I had least wanted to have
to tackle: my grandmother's bedroom. Memories were so thick in that room
that I could squeeze them from the air, or so it seemed. Still, the job
had to be done, and I had neglected starting it due to the amount of time
I was spending with Fraser. 

There I was, the contents of the dresser drawers and one of the closets in
haphazard stacks around the room, streaks of dust on my face and upper
arms, drenched in sweat despite having the window open to the mild night
air, when the phone rang. Having been through three crying jags, I was
grateful for the diversion. I picked up the extension on Gramma's
nightstand. "Hello?" 

"Gen, it's Benton." 

"Oh hello, Benton." A slow smile spread over my tired face. Just hearing
his voice seemed to drive away the sadness I had been feeling all evening.
"I'm glad you called." I settled back against the headboard of Gram's bed
to enjoy this break from my work. 

"What are you doing right now?" He asked. Was it my imagination that made
his voice so sultry? 

"Cleaning. I'm going through my grandmother's things, deciding what to
save, what to donate." Yeah, now there's an answer for sultry. Not. 

"I remember doing that with my father's things. It must be difficult for
you." 

"Yes. It's like losing her all over again, but it's also finally being
able to let her go. I've been putting this chore off for a year, but I can
face it now. What are you doing this evening?" 

"Ray and I are on a stakeout." As if I needed proof, I could hear Veccio's
voice in the background, complaining about Benny announcing to the world
that the two men were on stakeout, and Benton defending himself that he
hadn't told the whole world but only me, and that I could be trusted with
the information. He added that if Ray were so concerned, perhaps he should
lower his voice. I laughed softly at the predictability of Ray's reaction
before answering him. 

"Well, that sounds like good clean fun." I was being only slightly
sarcastic. 

"Gen, stopping criminals is serious business." 

"I know it is, Benton. I meant no disrespect." 

"Anyway, that's why I can't see you tonight." 

"We didn't have a date tonight." 

"I know, but I wanted to see you, and this is why I can't." 

"Oh."  

 I could hear Ray in the background again, saying 'Benny, look.' Benton
replied "I see it." Then said to me "Something's happening. I've got to
go." And the line went dead. I spent the next five hours sick with worry.
I wondered if I would feel any worse if I were married to a cop instead of
just dating one. Of course, I didn't just worry about Benton; there was
Ray, too, sharing in the danger. Two ulcers for the price of one. 

I don't know how many miles I had paced through the house, the cleaning
forgotten, when the phone finally rang again. "Benton?" 

"Yes, Gen. It's me." The sound of his voice was soothing balm to my
jangled nerves. "The criminals are in custody and the stolen property is
in process of being recovered by another detective team. Ray and I are
finished, except for the paperwork." 

"You two are all right? Was it dangerous? You didn't have to shoot
anybody, did you?" 

"I couldn't have shot anybody had I wanted to, I don't carry a weapon." 

White-hot anger possessed me instantly. "WHAT? You're out there, tracking
down criminals, and you don't carry a gun? Who do you think you are, Andy
Taylor? Well. this sure as hell ain't Mayberry, Benton, its Chicago. What
were you thinking of?" 

All the while I was yelling at him, he was saying my name calmly, trying
to interrupt my tirade. When I had to stop for air he was able to get a
word in. 

"Gen, I'm not licensed to carry a handgun in this country. Believe me, if
I were allowed to I would carry a weapon. I do realize the tremendous
pressure that it places Ray under to have to defend us both." 

"Yeah, well, I guess Ray would do his best to protect you. But you...you
just stay behind him, okay?" I was starting to calm down, but a little bit
unwilling to let go the anger that being afraid for his safety had caused.


"Gen, are you all right?" 

"I knew that what you two do is dangerous, I just never really faced it
before." 

"Not all police work involves danger. Really, what we did tonight was
routine, but we appreciate your concern." 

"Next time you do this, can you let me know if it's routine or if I should
worry?" 

"Of course." 

  

Ray came by the diner late the next afternoon. My side work was done, so I
brought us both coffee and sat with him in the last booth. 

"I just talked with Benny. He has to pick up some diplomat type at the
airport, take him to his hotel and stuff like that, so he'll be busy all
evening. I'm kinda glad, because that gives me some time alone with you." 

"Gee Ray, I didn't know you cared." I smiled at him to let him know it was
a friendly jibe. 

"Yeah, well, I care about Benny, and he likes you. In fact, he REALLY
likes you. I heard that you got a little crazy about the stake-out last
night." 

"When I thought about how easily he could have been killed, that you both
could, yeah, I got a little crazy, I guess." 

"You scared him. Nobody's ever got mad at him like that, and he doesn't
understand why, like I do." 

"You understand it." It was a question, really. 

"Yeah. You see, I've been married, and I know how tough it is on a cop's
wife. I brought you a couple phone numbers, they're for a support group of
policemen's' wives and girlfriends. You're gonna need 'em." 

"Ray, this is very kind of you. I can see why you're his best friend." His
huge grin warmed me all over. Ray drove me home, and gave me a warm hug at
my door. His last words to me that evening were very special. 

"You know, Benny is my best friend. You wanna be my best lady friend?
'Cause if you're gonna be with Benny, you're gonna see a lot of me." 

"Thank you, Ray. I'd like that very much." 

"All right." His grin stayed in my mind all that evening. 

  

The next day I had the early shift, arranged so that I could have plenty
of time to get ready for my movie date with Anne. Can you say obsessive?
Anyway, I was to pick her up at her apartment at 5:30, and I refused to be
late. I pampered myself with a bubble bath, scentless in deference to
Anne's sensitive nose. I curled my short red hair, applied a touch of
makeup, then put on my favorite emerald dress. I left my house five whole
minutes before I figured I had to, to be on time. 

When I pulled up in front of the building on West Racine, Anne was
standing on the steps waiting for me. She looked lovely in a navy skirt
and white blouse. She had a navy sweater over her arm. Trust her to be
prepared in case the evening turned chilly later. I watched as she walked
down the steps, the slit in her skirt alternately hiding and revealing her
left leg. I did manage to focus on her face before she opened the car
door, however, and greeted her with a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. 

We drove to Cinema 12, and chose a movie by sticking a pin in the current
flyer. I don't remember what we saw. We sat in the back of the theatre and
necked. I was in heaven. 

After the movie ended, we went out and walked around the neighborhood,
talking a bit and looking at each other like we might be struck blind at
any moment. After a while we passed a pizza parlor. I was getting pretty
hungry, so I said "I hear they have really good pizza in there." 

"Yes, they do. It's my favorite, although Ray says it's not authentic
Italian." 

"Well, I don't see Ray around here, do you? Come on, do you want to eat
here, or get it to go?" I asked, with a big grin as I opened the door for
her. 

"Let's eat here, that way I can keep Dief out of it." 

We went in and found a table in a corner. The light was poor, but we both
had our backs to a wall, so we were happy. I insisted on ordering an extra
large pizza, secretly planning to save leftovers for the wolf. 

While we were waiting for the pizza to bake, Anne's expression turned
serious. "Gen, can I ask you something, one woman to another?" 

"Of course, precious. If I don't know the answer, I'll make one up." I was
hoping to get a laugh out of her, what I got was the 'deer caught in
headlights' look. "Anne, ask me anything you like. I love you; I'm not
making fun of you. Not ever." 

After a moment's hesitation she went on. "From what you've said to me, I
gather you've never been married." 

"That's right." 

"Neither have I. I'd like to have a home and family someday, and if I'm
going to it ought to be soon, I'm not getting any younger." 

"Biological clock ticking?" 

"I beg your pardon?" She got a very puzzled look on her face. 

"I shouldn't have interrupted. Go on, Anne." Really, I shouldn't tease her
in ways I know she might not understand. 

"It's just that so many marriages end in divorce these days. I couldn't
stand losing another person that I loved, especially after making such a
commitment. The trouble is, I don't know why these marriages fail, so I
don't know how to predict whether mine would be one of them. Do you have
any thoughts on the matter?" 

In fact, I had given the matter considerable thought. Marriages used to be
arranged, and you expected to be with one spouse until death parted you.
When people started choosing their own life partners they sometimes chose
impulsively, and needed to undo their mistakes. Marriage, and divorce, has
become too easy, and an attitude of simply trying again if the first
doesn't succeed seems to have become the norm. Too often, lust is mistaken
for love, and people get hurt. 

"Precious, the best I can tell you is, you have to know what you want from
life, and then you have to be able to talk about it with your intended.
Make sure you have similar goals and beliefs, and that your priorities are
the same. If you can do that, you'll be all right." 

"That's all there is to it?" 

"Believe me, it isn't done much. Divorce statistics prove that." 

"So when you and Benton were talking about children..." 

I blushed from hairline to mid-chest. "That's the kind of thing I meant,
yes." 

"Ah." 

I was never so happy to see a pizza in all my life. 

I busied myself pulling a slice out of the pizza onto a plate to cool.
Anne did the same, looking thoughtful. I wondered what she was thinking. I
didn't have to wait long to find out. 

"I'm not sure that I know what I want. I miss my home, but I have such
wonderful friends here I that I would hate to leave. My job at the
consulate is sometimes incredibly boring, but my partnership with Ray is
terrific. And Diefenbaker really ought to be where he can be a wolf rather
than a pet dog." 

"You don't have to decide the rest of your life tonight, precious." 

"No, I suppose not. It will be Benton's choice in the end, anyway. What
about you, Gen? What do you want to do?" 

"Besides take you home and ravish you?" 

"Darling, please be serious." 

"I am serious. Oh, I'd like to travel a bit, take in some of Nature's
unspoiled places. The Territories, maybe. See if I liked it there. Maybe
find me a nice Mountie to settle down with, raise three or four children
and some wolves. Learn to make pemmican, drive a dogsled. You know. The
usual stuff." I had said all that while looking at the pizza slice I was
mangling. I looked up at the end to gauge her reaction. Her smile was a
mile wide. She reached across the table and took my hand in hers. 

"If that's what you want, I hope you get it." She squeezed my hand, then
went back to eating her pizza. "Benton would take you on a guided tour of
the Territories any time you like, I'm certain." 

"Well, precious, I just may have to ask him about that!" 

  

When I finally took her home she asked me up to her apartment. We had
hardly gotten in the door when she was all over me, fondling and kissing
me within an inch of my life. When she let me up for air I remarked "I
thought I was gonna ravish YOU! But don't let me slow you down." She
guided me to her cot (you could hardly call the thing a bed) and we lay
down, twined around each other. 

"Genny, do you...I mean, are you...What I'm wondering is...well, are you
protected? I mean, against pregnancy?" 

"No, precious." 

"Neither am I. I mean, I don't have any...oh dear." 

"That's all right, precious. It limits our choices a bit, but we'll make
do. Ouch! You have very sharp teeth!"  

Giggling, Anne let her hands roam over my body, divesting me of my
clothing. She hesitated a bit when I began to return the favor, but then
allowed me to remove her skirt and blouse. She demurred when I wanted to
remove her undergarments, however, and I did not press my luck. After all,
this was much further than she had been willing to go last time we made
love.  

We explored each other's bodies with hands and lips and tongues. Anne's
every touch set me afire, and I was almost continually in orgasm, which
was exhausting but wonderful. I caressed he through her lace panties,
enjoying the feel of the taut lace stretched over her erection. The
feeling must have been good for Anne, too, because soon I felt her swell,
then pulse in orgasm under my hand. We cuddled for a bit after that, then
drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. 

I awoke before Anne, to find Diefenbaker staring at me. I reached out to
ruffle his fur. "What do you want, Dief?" He whined at me, and I seemed to
understand him. "Okay, boy, I'll let you out." I got off the cot quietly,
trying not to disturb Anne, and opened the window onto the fire escape.
Dief bounded out. I left the window open for him to return, and went back
to sit on the edge of the cot, watching Anne sleep. 

As I gazed at her, I thought that she must have been dreaming, because she
was becoming aroused. She murmured something that I could not understand,
nor did I wish to intrude on her privacy. I did, however, wish to intrude
on her body! I carefully stretched myself out next to her, my head near
her groin and feet off the top of the cot. I pressed my face into her
groin and inhaled the musky aroma of aroused Canadian. I was in heaven! I
placed my lips against the lace covering her testicles and breathed on her
balls before suckling them gently. I heard a moan from the head of the
cot, and looked up. Anne still seemed to be asleep. Good, I thought, and
went back to my oral examination of her panties and their contents. I
licked and sucked and breathed on her, reveling in the growth of the
erection before me. I heard another moan, which ended in a gasp. I looked
up again to see blue eyes staring at me intently. I smiled and went back
to my pastime. I now had a moving target, as Anne thrust her hips up at
me. I placed my fingers under the waistband of her panties, then looked at
her for permission to remove them. She nodded her assent, and I quickly
removed the lace. Now I had unrestricted access to her beautiful cock, and
I took full advantage. Swirling my tongue around the head made me a bit
dizzy with desire. When Anne thrust her hips up at me I allowed her to
feed her cock into my willing mouth, and to slip out again as her hips
returned to the cot. She whimpered, but I did not make her wait long
before I engulfed her length again. She continued to move below me, but
now I controlled the action. I didn't want her cumming too soon. I loved
the taste of her, and the feel of her in my mouth. She was a perfect fit! 

Soon I felt her hands grip my hair, not trying to guide me, but only to
caress me. Anne's moans of delight came more frequently. Then I felt her
bury her head between my thighs, and she pulled me on top of her. I
laughed around a mouthful of hard cock, and continued to suck and lick.
Soon I was rewarded with a mouthful of cream, and almost simultaneously I
drenched her face. We lay nuzzling each other for a few moments before I
moved to lie beside Anne again. 

"Do you always attack your lovers in their sleep?" I looked into her eyes,
and after a moment she smiled to let me know she wasn't upset with me. 

"Only when they look so delicious, all covered in white lace." 

"Ah." 

Anne had the early shift at the consulate next morning, so I didn't stay
the night. Before I left we agreed to meet in the park on Saturday, as
usual. 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

There was nothing urgent on my desk the next morning. The routine
paperwork was accomplished with the greater part of my mind on my
conversation with Gen.	

Her message was unmistakable: if I asked her to marry me she would accept,
but she wanted to see my home before committing herself to living there.
That was fair. But would she be giving up what she wanted for herself to
follow me? From her own insight I knew that that would spell disaster. I
needed to be sure that she really did want exactly what I wanted. I
resolved to find out before we went north together, even as I filled out
the form to request a month's leave. 

Ray called me just as I was completing my shift "Hey, Benny, you busy? I
just got assigned to a case, an apparent murder-suicide, but something
doesn't seem right. Care to take a look at it with me?" 

"Of course, Ray, if you think I can help." 

"Good, I'll pick you up in twenty minutes. Better let Gen know we're gonna
be busy for a while." 

"I will, Ray. And Ray?" 

"Yeah, Benny?" 

"Thank you kindly. For understanding, about Genny and me." 

"Hey, she's a great girl. If you don't do right by her, I may go after her
myself. Now call her, already. Sheesh. G'bye." I swear I heard him
laughing just before he hung up. 

I called Gen, as directed, and told her what Ray and I would be doing. I
said that I would try to see her later, but would definitely see her in
the morning. She sounded a little odd when she said "Okay, Benton. In the
morning for sure." But Ray arrived then and I had no time to pursue it. 

The case turned out to be quite interesting. It was indeed a
murder-suicide, but the roles were reversed from what they first appeared.
The vital clue lay in the wording of the note that was found near one of
the victims, but that's not important at this juncture. 

When we had finished our work, and Ray had turned the scene over to
uniformed officers to finish wrapping up, it was dinnertime. Ray suggested
we pick up Chinese and take it to Genny's house. That sounded wonderful to
me, so I called her. She said she needed a break from preparing her garden
plot, and to come right over. 

We arrived to find Genny in a terrycloth pantsuit, with a towel wrapped
around her head. "Your timing is perfect," she said. "I just got out of
the shower. Take the food to the kitchen, will you? Benton, you know where
everything is. I'm gonna dry my hair, okay?" As she ran up the stairs she
added "Go ahead and start without me." 

I showed Ray the way to the kitchen, and while I got out plates and
flatware and set the table he set out the food. "So, Benny" he said to me.
"You're pretty much at home here, aren't you?" 

"No, Ray. Well, sort of." I dropped my voice, as though I thought Genny
could hear me over the hairdryer I could hear running upstairs. "Í would
like to be, yes." 

"Yeah, I thought so" he answered, with that smug look that Ray gets
sometimes, the one that makes me crazy. "She must be pretty comfortable
with both of us if she's willing to answer the door to us in her pajamas."


"Pajamas, Ray?" 

"Yeah, what did you think she was wearing?" 

"Oh." 

"So, you gonna marry her, or what? Because I want you to know that I'd be
very happy for you if you did. I think she's really good for you." 

The sound of Genny's hairdryer had stopped, and before I could answer she
entered the kitchen. "Ummm, everything smells good! Haven't you started
eating yet? Come on, dig in." Conversation was minimal as we complied.	

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

  

After work on Friday I went straight to my garden plot. I weeded the
perennial beds, and started in on preparing a place for the annuals I
would grow this summer. I was getting pretty tired by the time I heard the
phone ring. I was more than pleased to have Benton and Ray bring me
dinner. I took a quick shower and dressed in a terry pajama outfit that
could almost be street wear, and was wrapping a towel around my wet hair
just as the doorbell rang. I let the guys in, directed them to the
kitchen, and went back to my room to dry my hair. 

By the time I reached the kitchen the table was set, and food laid on.
They had brought a good selection of dishes, and we wasted very little
breath on conversation as we made short work of the food. We had all
pretty much had our fill when Benton excused himself and headed down the
hall toward the bathroom. 

Ray leaned toward me conspiratorially and asked "So, is he treating you
right?" 

"He's been an absolutely perfect gentleman." 

"Yeah, that sounds like him." I guess my somber tone alerted him, I could
see light dawn in his eyes. "You mean, you two haven't...Tell me if I'm
getting too personal here, but are you trying to say you've never..." 

"No. Oh, Anne is quite passionate, but Benton...Well, I just wish he'd
learn to put two and two together, if you know what I mean." 

"About him and Anne? I thought he was getting it, for a while there. Do
you want me to talk to him?" 

"No, thanks, Ray. Shhh, here he comes." 

Shortly after that, Ray said he needed to get home, and offered to drop
Benton off on his way. I said I would take Benton home later, if he would
care to stay a while, but he said he had things he needed to do, too, and
he left with Ray. 

  

  

 --------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo-------- 

  

  

After Ray had dropped me off, I walked Diefenbaker and then prepared for
bed, all the while thinking about the conversation I had inadvertently
overheard between Ray and Gen, juxtaposed with the earlier one between Ray
and me.  

Those two had seemed quite chummy. Was Ray actually trying to steal Genny
away from me? No, that was just silly. Surely Ray meant what he had said
about Genny and me being right for each other. He's my best friend; he
wouldn't lie to me. Would he? 

I fell asleep finally, and dreamt that I had barricaded myself inside
Dad's cabin, and Anne was pounding at the door, demanding to be let in.
She kept shouting out reasons that I should let her in, and I kept
refusing to open the door. Suddenly she was standing in right front of me,
and she said "You can't keep me out forever, you know. I've been inside
all the time." She placed her hand on my chest, and it sank into me. She
walked forward until her whole body had been absorbed into mine. 

I awoke thinking of Genny, and how I wished she were within arms reach at
that moment, thinking licentious thoughts of all the lewd things I would
like to do with her. Ah, Benton, I thought, your grandmother would be
completely scandalized to know what you're thinking, but I didn't care.
With Genny I felt free to do anything, and not just have things done to
me, as with Victoria. That freedom was precious to me, as I had once
explained to Ray.  

I got up and walked Dief, fixed us breakfast, and cleaned the apartment. I
dressed in Anne's clothing, and while I was putting on her make-up I took
a good look at myself in the mirror. I suddenly realized that I no longer
needed this disguise. I had finally learned what I needed from Anne
Fraser.  

It was simple, really. I don't understand why I was so dense about it for
so long. Even with my grandmother inculcating me with her notion of
chivalrywhich I still believe in and practiceI should have seen it. Well,
better late than never. And the learning brought Genny into my life, which
is worth everything. I knew now that Anne's thoughts and desires were my
own, and that I could safely express those thoughts and desires. That was
the lesson I had been meant to learn.  

I reached for make-up remover, then hesitated. Genny was expecting Anne
this morning, and I hated to disappoint her. I put the finishing touches
on my make-up instead, and put on my wig, grinning at myself as I did so.
I gathered some things into a bag, and left for the park, Diefenbaker in
tow.  

I made one stop on the way, adding a couple of items to my bag. This made
me a few minutes late in meeting Genny, but I hoped that when she saw what
I meant to show her she would forgive me. 

Genny wasn't at the bench where we normally meet, which scared me for a
moment, until Dief spotted her walking toward us along one of the paths.
She saw us, smiled and waved. I waved back just as Dief reached her,
running in excited little circles around her, yipping and frolicking like
a pup. He had finally calmed himself enough for Gen to pet him by the time
I walked up. I set the bag down, and when Gen straightened from petting
Dief, I took her into my arms, and kissed her deeply, ignoring the shocked
looks and catcalls from passers-by. "Good morning, sweetheart" I said to
her. 

"Good morning, precious. You look positively radiant this morning." 

"I feel radiant. Can we go to your house? There's something I want to show
you." 

"Of course." I picked up my bag, taking Gen's hand in my free one and we
walked to her home, Dief running ahead. By the time we reached the front
door, my wolf had installed himself in one of the porch chairs and seemed
to be asleep. We left him there and went into the house. 

Once inside, I pulled Gen into my arms again, kissing her face and neck,
and nuzzling her hair. 

"Ohhh, precious, I could get used to this" she whispered, her hands
roaming across my back, lips doing wonderful things to my face and neck. 

"Genny, darling, I came here to show you something. Shall we go into the
kitchen?" She wore a puzzled expression as she led me by the hand to the
kitchen. "Sit down, please, Gen." She sat across from me, as I started
laying out items from my bag. 

The first items out were my most faded, comfortable blue jeans, and a
white long-sleeved t-shirt, which I laid on the table. Boxer shorts,
socks, and sneakers were placed in a chair. I looked at Gen to try and
gauge her reaction, but she wore the look of open acceptance I had seen so
many times from her. It really didn't tell me much about her feelings,
though, so I continued.  

The next items out of the bag were my shaving kit, which went into the
chair, and my make-up bag and a face cloth, which I placed in front of me.
Glancing up at Gen again, I took make-up remover from the bag, wet my
facecloth with it, and then hesitated. I was suddenly struck by stage
fright. I decided to try and talk my way through it. 

"Genny, you remember the day we met, and you thought I might be in
training as a shaman?" She nodded. "Well, I knew that I had a lesson to
learn, and I thought it was something about women. As it turns out, it was
something about myself. I was being very stubborn about learning it, but
you see, I CAN put two and two together." By her slightly embarrassed look
I could tell she knew to what I was referring. "I know now that whatever
Anne thinks, and does, and wants, Benton thinks and does and wants, too. I
know that I can be everything that I was ever afraid to be, now that you
are in my life." I slowly reached up and took off my wig, and removed my
earrings. I picked up the facecloth and began to clean my face. 

"Here, let me help you with that." Genny said, coming around the table to
stand at my side. I let her take the cloth, and pulled her into my lap.
She gently removed all traces of Anne from my face, but I knew that Anne
would never be removed from my heart.  

Gen finished cleaning my face, and kissed me. "I guess I should get out of
these clothes," I said to her. 

"Good idea, precious!" She grinned at me. 

"No, I didn't mean...well, yes, that is what I meant. There is one more
thing in that bag I wanted to show you." I pulled out a white paper sack
with a drug store logo on it, and handed it to her. "Care to open it?" 

"Oh my, Benton, precious, there's every kind of birth control product I
ever heard of in here." 

"Well, I didn't know what you would prefer, so..." 

She rummaged around in the sack, and after a moment pulled something out.
"Let's start with this one!" She winked at me, then led me toward the
stairs, carrying the sack. 

We spent the rest of that morning making love. We kissed, and touched, and
tasted each other thoroughly. Since this was my first time with Gen, as
myself, the experience was quite heady for me. We were resting in each
other's arms when Gen said to me "Benton, precious, hand me that package
from the table, will you?" She indicated the drug store sack. "I think
it's time. I want you deep inside me, please." I was happy to comply.  

Some time later, sated but not at all tired, we sat in Gen's kitchen
having a light meal. Diefenbaker lay curled up on the rug by the back
door, crunching a bone that Gen had taken from the refrigerator. We
started making plans for a grand tour of the Yukon and the Northwest
territories, with a stop to see if anything could be salvaged of my
father's cabin after all this time. 

"Genny, you're not interested in going north only because of me, are you?"
Okay, Anne hadn't cured me of all my insecurities. 

"Can you think of a better reason?" She grinned at me. "Really, Benton,
you know that I'm a country girl. I truly do love farm life, and
wilderness. I might not be thinking of going to Canada if not for you, but
you won't be taking me out of my element." 

"Oh. Good. Then there's something I want to ask you." 

"Go ahead." 

"I'd like to ask your father for your hand." She gaped at me. Funny, I
would have thought she had seen this coming. "I love you, Genevieve Waite.
Will you marry me?" 

Tears streamed down her face, and I feared that I had made a terrible
mistake. Then she started to smile, and she threw herself into my arms.
"Yes, Benton!" she said, and kissed me. "My hand is my own to give, and I
gave it to you a long time ago." Thinking about it, I realized that she
had. I took her hand and led her back upstairs to seal the bargain. 

  

  

 xxxxxx--------ooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo--------xxxxxx 

  

  

Oh man, I didn't think there was anyone on the planet as long-winded as
Benny, but Genny may have him beat. Have they bored you to death with
their story yet? 

Nah, I'm kiddin'. I love 'em both, and wish 'em the best. 

After Benny finally realized the truth about Miss Fraser, he and Gen were
inseparable. Benny moved into Gen's house, lock, stock, and wolf. I
visited them often, and Benny continued to be my partner in police work.
My Ma even adopted Gen, since she already considered Benny to be one of
her own. 

Gen' family was excited when she told them of her plans to marry Fraser.
They came to Chicago to meet him. He stayed at my house while they were in
town, even though Gen didn't want him to move out, even temporarily. They
started making plans for the wedding, to be held at the Waite family farm
next spring. 

Benny and Gen went to the territories that summer, and Gen fell in love
with the place. When they got to the cabin, Benny called me. The cabin
needed lots of work, but was repairable, and did I want to come up and
help? Of course I did! It was what we planned all along. I spent two weeks
up there, and we got the place enclosed from the elements before we had to
return to Chicago. One day, when I was complaining about the lack of
indoor plumbing, Gen surprised both of us by suggesting a composting
toilet that could be connected to the cabin. Even Benny hadn't thought of
that. I knew I liked that girl! 

In a few minutes I need to get Benny to stop pacing, and get us to our
places at the altar. I take my duties as best man seriously, you know. I
have the rings ready in the basket that Dief will carry up the aisle. I
couldn't find a muskrat pelt, though. Maybe they can have a bonding
ceremony the next time they go north. 

And they are going north. Benny has already been promised a post near his
cabin as soon as the constable who works there now retires, which will be
in about a year at the soonest. I hope to see my first Fraser nephew (oh,
all right, or niece) born before then. 

Oh, I see Genny's father waving to me. It must be time to start the
ceremony; I better go get ready to kiss the bride. See you in the
receiving line! 

  

  

finis