Your Loss Boss  

 Hi!
 This is a tame m/m piece that takes on a different perspective to our
usual Ben/Ray theme here on DSX. It was inspired by one of the branches of
the WOD and a recent email conversation I had with Ann, Drabblemistress
Extraordinaire. Thanks Ann!:-> We had been contemplating the direction the
WOD Branch 3 seemed to be taking at one point (the alternate drabble one
where Welsh takes Ray out for a drink on his birthday). Well WB3 didn't go
the way we thought it might and hence this story was inspired. "YOUR LOSS
BOSS" is contained within just this 1 post and is about 8 pages long. Desi
 Dsrvbf@aol.com 

 "YOUR LOSS BOSS" 

 Ben hadn't seen much of Ray lately. His friend had been put on a night
shift recently, so their schedules didn't quite fit with each other any
more. He'd asked Ray why the sudden change and Ray shrugged his shoulders,
saying something about Welsh telling him he wanted Ray to spend less time
with Fraser. Ray figured it had to be as punishment for the mess of red
tape, bureaucracy and abundant paperwork that Welsh got dumped into after
the Ian MacDonald fiasco. 

 At first the schedule change wasn't a problem for Ben, but after the
first couple of weeks, he'd started to realize how much he missed Ray's
company. Ben had gotten used to having a close friend, a luxury he never
allowed himself before moving to Chicago. He'd taken for granted Ray's
carpooling him to and from work; Ray's frequent dinner invitations to eat
out or at the Vecchio's; and being allowed to finagle his way into cases
with Ray on his off hours from the consulate. Basically he realized now
he'd been spoiled and took for granted Ray's presence in his day to day
life. 

 His absence was definitely noticed and that's why he was here now late at
night. He'd been restless and unable to sleep, deciding to take a walk to
clear his head and think things through. Most of his thoughts had been
about Ray, giving closer inspection to things of their past together he
just started to pay attention to now. Without meaning to he found himself
in front of the 27th precinct building. Since he was here he decided to
stop in, thinking seeing his best friend might help. 

 Fraser, with Diefenbaker by his side, entered the deserted squadroom
scanning the room for his friend. Ray's desk was empty, but there was
evidence that he had been there recently. A still warm cup of coffee on
his desk could attest to that fact. He sat down in the side chair next to
Ray's desk thinking his friend would return shortly from wherever it was
he went. Picking up one of Ray's toys, a Rubik's Cube, he began to amuse
himself with the puzzle while he waited. 

 Five minutes later he could hear his friend's laughter out in the hall
headed his way and smiled. He was talking and joking with someone, that
someone he identified as Lt Welsh. Fraser was surprised, he hadn't
realized that Welsh had changed his schedule too. Then dismissed it
rationalizing maybe it was just a special visit to the squadroom for a
case or something. As the two men entered the room they looked quite
chummy. Ray had his hand on his boss' shoulder and was telling him a story
about one of the cases he'd worked on with Fraser. "So I told him. *Benny
that's ...*" Ray stopped what he was about to say immediately when he saw
the object of his story was seated at his desk. "Uh... Hi Benny. What
brings ya out past your bed time?" Welsh nodded over to the mountie
coldly. "Constable." Without waiting to hear Ben's greetings back, he
headed directly to his office, closed the door, and pretended not to
notice the two men talking. 

 Fraser got the distinct impression Welsh wasn't happy to see him. For
several months now, the Lieutenant had been giving him the cold shoulder.
Not anything really overt or tangible, just a more formal attitude and a
coldness that wasn't there before, gradually becoming more and more
noticeable to him with time. Feeling the snub again now, he realized
suddenly when he'd first started noticing it. It was shortly after he'd
come back to work after recuperating from the bullet wound he'd suffered
at Ray's hand. It was hidden well, but there. He'd started to really
notice it especially after the Ian MacDonald incident with the US
government. 

 Dismissing his thoughts about Welsh with a *Naw. I'm imagining things.*
Fraser then smiled at his friend. "Hi Ray. I was taking Dief for a walk
and decided to drop in and see how you were. I haven't spoken with you in
a while." Ray bent slightly to pet the appreciative wolf's head, slipping
him part of the vending machine pastry he had in his hand. "Hi Dief." He
was amused and flattered by what he was picking up from his friend... that
Ben missed him. He had to admit it to himself that it was good to see his
friend again, he'd missed him too. He teased. "Benny we talked just the
other day. Ya called me at what?... 5:00 in the morning... before your
shift and told me all about that shoplifter you apprehended." Ben looked
sheepishly at him. "Well a phone call isn't the same as a visit now is it
Ray? Do you have a break coming up?" 

 Ray took on a more serious expression, slightly worried, getting the
impression from Ben's body language and tone that he had something serious
to talk about. "Sure Benny. Come on. Let's go for a walk. Tell me what's
wrong. Ok?" Fraser smiled. "Nothing's wrong Ray. Can't I just stop in to
say 'Hi' to a friend?" Ray looked at his friend skeptically, not buying
it. "Sure Benny. We'll just visit for a little while." 

 Ray reached for his jacket on the coat rack, walked over to Welsh's
office, knocked lightly on the door, then poked his head in. "I'll be back
in half an hour. Its important. I'll make up my time." Welsh looked up
from his desk and grudgingly grumbled at the beseeching green eyes. "Ok
Vecchio. But I'm trusting you to make up the time after your shift when
I'm not here. Got it?" Ray smiled his thanks. "Got it." Then happily
turned to his friend and the wolf. "The boss has let me out of my cage for
a little while. Let's go." He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and
led him out the squadroom door. 

 ************************ 

 Welsh watched their retreating backs and hated what he was feeling. It
was what he'd been feeling for several months now, every time he saw the
mountie. Especially when he saw Fraser with Ray. It had taken him a while
to realize what that something was. It was jealousy. Pure and simple
jealousy. And there was something else mixed in too... anger. An anger
which started with the whole Victoria affair. 

 Welsh recalled that incident with bitterness. It began with an invitation
to Ray's house for a night of playing pool and hanging out with the guys.
He'd been surprised when Ray invited him to join in. Ray had said his
family was out of town and that he'd moved his father's old pool table
into the dining room... then the words. "I'm inviting some friends over.
Huey and Gardino said they'd come. And of course Fraser. I'll get pizzas,
beer and maybe one of those cold cut platters. Do you want to come?" Until
then he hadn't realized that Ray considered him a friend. They'd always
had a boss and worker relationship. He'd had Vecchio in his office so many
times in the past for chewing outs that he was surprised by the overture
of friendship Ray offered him then. Ray didn't know it but that same day
of the pool party marked Welsh's birthday. A fact he shared with no one
and had been resigned to spend alone again this year as well... until Ray
invited him over. 

 Thinking back on the actual game now it was sort of funny, but sad too.
It had started out well enough, but it grew awkward when the mountie
hadn't shown up. Ray as their host was trying hard to cover his
disappointment that Fraser wasn't there. The plans he'd had for food for
his guests had gone by the wayside. When Welsh figured out Ray had come up
short for cash because of money owed him by the mountie, he offered to
take the guys out to a bar and grill downtown, his treat. Huey and Gardino
had taken him up on the offer, but the person he wanted to come with them
most turned him down. He could still see those disappointed eyes and that
sad forced smile. "Sorry about tonight. You guys go ahead. I'm gonna wait
here for Fraser. Next time ok?" 

 'Next time' was the dinner that Ray invited them all to to celebrate his
promotion that tragic night Gardino died. Ray had asked Welsh to join them
too. "You're the reason I got the promotion in the first place. I'd like
you to come with us." Welsh had been flattered by the remark. He was onto
Ray now and knew of Ray's lack of confidence in himself, which he hid well
with his tough guy attitude and sarcasm. "No Ray you're the reason you got
the promotion. You've done some really good work. Keep it up." 

 In the end though he'd turned his dinner offer down. He'd wanted to go.
Almost wished he had now, thinking his presence there might have prevented
some of the events that took place between Zuko and Ray that night. He
recalled he hadn't gone, because he knew Fraser would be there. He'd made
excuses about being too busy with work. Ray had smiled at him then. "Your
loss boss. You're missing out on some great italian food. Next to my
mother's that is. I'll bring you back a doggie bag. If Dief doesn't get to
it first." 

 How had Ray managed to get to him? He still wasn't sure, but kept going
back to the events surrounding the Victoria incident for an explanation.
Back to when he'd first started to notice his feelings for Ray Vecchio
were changing. Becoming less boss and worker, less paternal and more
affectionate. 

 He'd been privy to most of the events as they unfolded then. Fraser had
thrown everything away, including Ray, to follow after a vicious criminal
out of what he thought was 'love'. 'Love', the mountie didn't know the
first thing about it thought Welsh angrily to himself. He didn't see it
right under his nose. Love was the disappointment Welsh had seen in Ray's
eyes when Fraser didn't show up for that damn party. Or when he'd clung
tightly to his belief in Fraser's innocence while they were both grilled
by Internal Affairs; Ray being falsely accused alongside Fraser for
criminal misconduct. Or when Ray put his family's home up as collateral to
get the bail needed to get Fraser out of jail. Or when he'd stood on that
train platform and watched as his so-called best friend discarded him to
an unfair fate to run after Victoria. Welsh would never forget that Ray
would have taken the fall for everything by Fraser's running off. 

 Victoria had a gun alright. But they still weren't sure if there was one
there that night or not. She'd used it to put a bullet into Ben's soul
long before Ray ever shot him. She'd infected him with its sting and
critically wounded a friendship and the life of another in the process.
The life of someone whom Welsh had started to really care about. 

 At first he'd thought his reactions towards Ray then were paternal. He'd
been with Ray to lend him his support while he waited in the hospital for
the first results reported on Fraser's condition. Ray had held it together
for the most part then, but had looked on the verge of exhaustion and
emotional collapse, especially when the doctor told him the bullet was
still inside Ben for fear of doing more damage if they removed it. 

 He'd given Ray some compassionate leave time to stay with Fraser for a
while and recover somewhat from the tragedy. Welsh knew the state of Ray's
home, from overhearing about it from some of the officers at the precinct.
He knew Ray had seen it as well and was probably overwhelmed with the
magnitude of the clean up job he'd have to do. 

 Welsh had come to a decision the day of Ray's review board hearing. He'd
been there and watched as Ray answered the difficult questions in regards
to his actions. Having been with Ray that night at the train station, his
heart went out to him and as a witness and his boss was called on for his
interpretation of the events as well. It had been an agonizingly long
process. After the grilling, Ray had stopped him in the hall and thanked
him for his support and understanding, then rushed back to the hospital to
be with his friend once more. 

 Welsh had gone back to work afterwards, noticing Huey and Gardino coming
into the squadroom, he called over to them. "Huey, Gardino my office."
They looked over at each other perplexed and worried they were in trouble.
He had that effect on his subordinates. Gardino always spoke out first,
before he even knew what was happening. "Hey Lt if its about that incident
with the stripper..." Huey gave Gardino an *oh brother* look when he
caught from Welsh's expression that he didn't know what Gardino was
talking about. "No its not about that *incident*. Although I'd like a full
report on what *incident* that would be, unless of course its going to
involve alot of paperwork on my part and a headache." Gardino looked
sheepish. "Uh forget I said anything sir." 

 Welsh eyed them both suspiciously. "I have an assignment for you both.
I'll be involved with it as well. I want you to know its strictly
voluntary." They looked at each other before looking back at him. Huey
spoke this time. "Sir. What is it you want us to do?" Welsh continued.
"Help me clean up a crime scene. Vecchio's place. His family comes home in
three days, the place is a shambles and the guy's got enough on his plate
to worry about without that on top of it. Whaddya say?" 

 Huey gave him a strange look. "You want us to fix up Vecchio's place?
This is an assignment? Will I get credit towards my merit badge or
somethin'?" Welsh growled back. "No. Just credit in my book. Think about
if you were in his shoes right now. Are you with me? We'd start now." Huey
shrugged. "Yeah. Sure. Why not? I got no grudge against Vecchio. Feel bad
for the guy, shooting his friend and all. Rough break. I'm in." Gardino
eyed his partner. "Geesh you're a sap Jack." Huey snapped back. "You know
Gardino Ray may have had the right idea, shooting his friend. I'm thinking
along those lines right about now." Gardino smirked. "Alright, alright.
I'll help too. If only out of self-defense." 

 Ray hadn't come home much during those first few days Ben was in the
hospital. He'd known his place was a wreck and had split his time between
the hospital, work - specifically the review board - and stayed at
Fraser's apartment with Diefenbaker. During this time Welsh and his
helpers fixed and straightened up the Vecchio home. They'd gotten
additional help from Elaine and even Ray's ex-wife Angie had dropped by
and was quite helpful in knowing where most of the items went. 

 There were a few things that couldn't be salvaged, such as some of the
plants and the broken glass. But for the most part Fraser hadn't really
broken much, just strewn things about. The front door hadn't even been
that bad. They'd managed to rehang it, touch it up in spots, and have it
functioning again. With everyone's help it had taken them an afternoon and
a night to get the job done. Welsh had dismissed them all and was the last
to go wanting to fix one more thing he'd noticed in the living room. 

 He'd become fully alert when he'd heard someone fumbling with the lock on
the front door. The person on the other side was having trouble getting
the key in to unlock an already unlocked door. Welsh rose to go to the
door. Through the window of it he noticed it was Ray. Opening the door for
the occupant of the house as soon as he saw him. "Hello Ray. I was just
leaving..." He noticed Ray was standing unsteady on his feet, his eyes
were glassy and he smelled of alcohol. "Ray you been drinking?" Ray smiled
drunkenly at him. "Yup. Ya wanna join me for anotherround? We can toast my
marksmanship. Leave it to me to miss my friend's spine by less than an
inch and still be at fault for paralyzing the guy. Pretty sharp shootin'
hunh?" Welsh's face grew concerned. "Ray? What's this you're talking
about? Fraser's paralyzed?" 

 He led Ray into the house with his arm around him to help steady him and
bring him towards the couch in the living room to sit down. Ray swallowed
hard. "Um... doctor told me Benny wasn't responding to stimuli to his legs
and they were concerned the bullet was pressing on something... nerve or
something... they wouldn't know for sure, until he's more aware and
conscious what's going on. They brought in a specialist though this
afternoon who recommended doing more surgery to remove the bullet. But
there was a high percentage it would do more harm than good. They made me
decide." 

 The anguish in Ray's eyes as he looked at him was heartbreaking. "God
they left it to me to decide. Benny had me down as next of kin. Had me
listed as family. What was I gonna do? I didn't okay the surgery. I pray
to god I made the right choice. Wait and see they told me. Wait and see."
Welsh had kept his arm around Ray's shoulder when he felt the trembling
under his hand; heard the emotion choked words; saw the start of tears
forming in those sad eyes. 

 Welsh never knew if he initiated it or Ray had, but somehow he'd wound up
with Ray in his arms, when he'd finally broken down and cried. He'd held
him, rubbing his back and saying soothing words to him. "Shhh. Fraser will
be ok. It'll be ok." At some point he couldn't stop himself when he'd
kissed his cheek, then somehow found himself kissing his lips. Ray hadn't
pulled away. He had felt him kiss him back. He hadn't imagined that. 

 He wanted it to go further, wanted Ray, but couldn't bring himself to
take advantage of him in this vulnerable state. He'd stopped it at the
kiss and just held Ray after that until his tears were spent and he'd
lapsed into sleep. Removing Ray's jacket and shoes and loosening his
collar and belt he'd then laid him comfortably on the length of the couch.
He'd found a blanket and covered him with it, then turned the lights off
and sat with him through the rest of the night. 

 Ray had woken up first, eyes barely able to open, groaning his discomfort
from the aftereffects of his drunken state the night before. Welsh had
heard him, waking him up, he'd fallen asleep in the chair next to the
couch. "Good morning Ray." Ray startled at hearing Welsh's voice in the
room with him, then covered his eyes with the palm of his hands, mumbling
under his breath. "Oh god I didn't dream it." Welsh felt awkward knowing
what Ray was most likely refering to. "Dream what?" Ray looked over at him
with slitted eyes. "Did...? Naw. Never mind." Welsh shook his head to help
hide the fact they'd kissed. 

 He wanted Ray to think it was just a drunken fantasy. "Thanks for taking
care of me boss." Welsh put on his most authoritative voice and tone.
"Just don't let it happen again. I'm not your babysitter Ray." Ray smiled.
"Got it. What brings ya here?..." With the last he'd looked around the
room and noticed the difference from when he'd last been here. His
expression had changed from confusion to surprise and being moved by what
he'd seen. "Did you do all this?" Welsh responded. "I had help from some
friends. We got the place put back together again. Maybe not exactly like
it was before, but close." 

 Ray seemed surprised at the way things were put back almost exactly the
way he remembered. "How'd you know where..." Welsh smiled. "Angie came by
too. She's got a good memory." Ray looked sincerely touched by the gesture
of friendship he'd been given. "Thank you and would you pass on my thanks
to your helpers too?" Welsh nodded. "Sure. 

 Gardino, Huey and Elaine will be pleased to know you learned how to say
thank-you." Ray chuckled. "Yeah. Well. Its getting easier to say lately." 

 ******************************* 

 Welsh glanced up from his desk to peer through the window of his office
when he heard Ray come back into the squadroom. Ray couldn't have looked
happier as he smiled cheerfully a greeting over at him. With sudden
realization and a pang somewhere in his soul, he'd felt a difference. That
expression on Ray's face was one he wished was for himself, but he knew it
was for another. The mountie had finally discovered what was right there
in front of him all this time... 

 ******************************* 

 On his way home he pondered once again. He didn't know quite what it was
that made him feel this way or when it was he'd fallen in love with Ray
Vecchio. THE END 

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