Canadian Government Mountie Season Regulations  Canadian Government
Mountie Season Regulations GENERAL 1. Any person with a valid Mountie
hunting license may harvest Mounties. 2. Capture of Mounties with traps is
permitted. The use of drowned caribou as bait is prohibited. 3. It is
unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest Mounties from National Parks and
designated Mountie reserves. 4. It shall be unlawful to shout "help" or
"whose wolf is this" for the purpose of trapping Mounties. 5. It shall be
unlawful to hunt Mounties within 100 feet of government buildings. 6. It
shall be unlawful to herd Mounties using women in scanty lingerie, since
this causes Mounties to stampede in fright. 7. It shall be unlawful to
hunt Mounties within 200 feet of libraries, police stations, lingerie
shops, special interest group offices, bars, or strip joints. 8. Stuffed
or mounted Mounties must have a Health Department inspection certificate
for rabies and vermin. 9. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise as
an oversexed sister of a Chicago cop, old lady trying to cross the street,
ice hockey player, caribou, attractive bank robber, or escaped felon for
the purpose of hunting Mounties. 10. Captive Mounties prefer dark
surroundings. Some have been known to carry nesting material around with
them. Usually they are easy to tame. If the Mountie is to be kept a permit
must be acquired. BAG LIMITS Sub-Species: Mountius oldfartus Limit:
EXTINCT Sub-Species: Mountius boyscoutus (often seen crossing roads with
old ladies) Limit: 3 Sub-Species: Mountius hubbahubbaus or "Big Red"
(identify by its blue eyes, muscular physique, signature cry
"thankyoukindly", tends to flee if the word "sex" is mentioned, found in
the company of wolves and at least one of the grouchy species Chicagocopus
crankus) Limit: 1, live capture only Notes: Very, very difficult to catch.
Captive breeding next to impossible. Addenda: Humane capture of Mounties
The species Mountius hubbahubbaus (or 'Big Red') is often found in the
Canadian snow fields, but tend to have difficulty keeping their footing in
this environment. This is often the best time to net one, when they are
lying on their backs in the snow giggling uncontrollably, or rescue one
after he has fallen into a lake. SEASON TIMES: Winter and autumn only.
Mounties shed their distinctive red plumage during the warmer months and
can be mistaken for other, less desirable species. Regulations released by
F. Scott, Commander-in-Chief, International Mountie Control (IMC)
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way, the production office has a version of this..... hee hee FIona :)
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