Standing on the Edge     Disclaimer: This story is written for the
private entertainment of fans. The author makes no claims on the
characters or their portrayal by the creation of this story. Phil and TJ
McKenzie belong to SL Haas and are used in this story with her permission.
Cat Madden belongs to me. No infringement of any copyrights held by CBS,
Alliance, CTV or any other copyright holders of DUE SOUTH is intended.
This story is not published for profit, and the author does not give
permission for this story to be reproduced for profit.
 
 Rated PG for mild sex scenes, swearing and adult situations - m/f and
original character
 
 Lyrics from Standing on the Edge by Colin James used without permission.
 
 
 Standing on the Edge
 
 By Carol Trendall
 
 Late last night I was dreaming, I was dreaming of your charms
 And I was standin' on the edge of love baby, with you in my arms
 Well you whispered sweet things and you told me
 You told me that you loved and you'd always be true
 And that you'd stand on the edge of love with me, honey I'll stand with
you
 That's why I'm standing on the edge of love and I'm just about to slip
and fall....
 That's why I'm standing on the edge of love baby, waiting on your call 
 
 Cat Madden accepted another cup of bad airline coffee from the flight
attendant. She sipped at it, sneered and put the cup down. Days of
drinking Ray Vecchio's special blend had spoiled her for anything else.
She leaned back against the headrest, grinning to herself as she
remembered her last few days in Chicago. Ray's coffee wasn't all she would
miss. 
 
 She thought about Ray and Ben and how lost they had both looked when she
said goodbye to them at the airport. It was sad that both men seemed
destined to bear the pain of lost love. She knew Ben could fix his problem
if he would just decide to do something about it, but she didn't know
enough about Ray's situation to say. 
 
 Ray wouldn't tell her what had occurred, but it looked to Cat like the
decision had been his and maybe he, too, could do something about his lost
love. She remembered the pain in his eyes as he told her the story of his
lost love. Just like Ben. 
 
 What was it with the men in her life? Was every man she met living with a
broken heart? A twinge of annoyance went through her. Would she spend the
rest of her life patching the broken hearts of men? Cat couldn't figure
out why she always seemed to play that role. Wasn't there a man out there
who didn't want her to comfort him? She sighed. Those thoughts were
unfair. Ben and Ray were good men – good friends – and she had freely
offered her support. 
 
 With a firm shake of her head, Cat dismissed thoughts of her friends.
This final week of her vacation was for her and her alone. A flutter of
excitement ran through her, causing a shudder. Cat's eyes widened. Yes,
something about this trip excited her, as if something wonderful awaited
her. As she heard the steward ask the passengers to fasten their seatbelts
Cat smiled. She looked forward to seeing the Edge of the Earth.
 
 
 Phil McKenzie rinsed her coffee cup leisurely and set it on the sink to
dry. Reluctantly she turned away from the view outside her kitchen. It was
time she stopped staring out the window and did some work. She had
promised herself she would start work on writing the program for Jeff
Bower's 'Team Building' package over the holidays and, so far, she hadn't
even thought about it. A smile lit her face making her brown eyes crinkle
in delight. It was all Cat Madden's fault. She had very much enjoyed Cat's
visit to Chicago and was pleased they had spent so much time together. Not
for one minute did she regret choosing her friend over work. The smile
lingered on Phil's lips as she wandered out of the kitchen in the
direction of her office.
 
 Although disappointed that Cat had left a week earlier than originally
planned, Phil was pleased the other woman was getting a break somewhere
peaceful. Whatever Cat had been doing at the Consulate had sure taken its
toll. Phil thought she had looked anxious and drawn for most of her visit.
That is, except for that morning when she came to say goodbye. Now that
she thought about it, Cat had looked relaxed and happy that morning -
glowing, in fact. She figured it must be the relief of finally getting
some time off. 
 
 Where did Cat say she was heading? Some ranch out west. Montana? It
sounded lovely. Phil's gaze wandered over to her piano and the collection
of photographs arranged there as she thought about her own sanctuary in
Montana. She hadn't made the annual family get together this year and that
worried her more than it normally would. She was worried about Casey.
Already a widow, she had suffered a brutal attack at the hands of a
deranged lunatic. But what made it even worse was the fact that the man
she had recently fallen in love with had abandoned her right when she
needed him most. 'What a bastard he must be,' she thought with venom. 
 
 Phil cast her eyes over the pictures on the piano and sought out the one
of her and Casey at the Edge of the Earth. Without much prompting she
found her eye shifting to a photo of her and the handsome Lloyd Hope. She
had wanted to show it to Cat when she was here last, but they were
distracted and she never got around to it. Pity, she thought I wanted Cat
to know that there was someone in my life who had come close to erasing
Ben's memory. 
 
 She picked up the photo and stared at the image of the raven-haired man,
smiling contentedly at his memory. He was a special person and she loved
him for what he had brought to her life. For a while she had thought she
loved him enough to marry him, but Lloyd had known better. He knew there
was someone she still longed for, even when she begged him to make love to
her. With more good grace than she felt she deserved at the time, Lloyd
drove her home and told her that she should not take that step with him,
that he was not the one she wanted. Everyone knew she wanted only one man.

 
 But not any more, she was over him. She shook herself, replaced the photo
on the piano and turned away purposefully, still shaking her head. No, she
had no more feelings for Ben Fraser. As Phil entered her office and took
up her place at her desk, she sneaked a quick glance at the tapestry on
the wall now visible through the door of her office. She couldn't shake
the feeling that something was about to happen – like she was on the edge
of something. With a final, firm shake of her head, Phil pulled out her
notes and started reading. She always felt like this at the beginning of a
New Year.
 
 
 
 The Vecchio home was in darkness as Ray closed the front door behind him.
He had not expected to be home so late and had left no lights on when he
left with Fraser and Cat to go to the airport earlier in the day. Not that
he was sorry, a faint smile played at his lips when he thought about what
had kept him out so late. He was touched by Fraser's frankness – even if
all the talk of lost love had left him nostalgic and thinking about Casey.
With a frustrated sigh, Ray shrugged his overcoat off his shoulders and
hung it in the closet, then headed up the stairs in darkness, pushing all
thoughts of his own lost love to the back of his mind.
 
 At the top of the stairs Ray could see into his mother's room – the room
that had so recently been occupied by Cat Madden. That is, until she had
joined him in his bed. He paused for a moment, remembering another woman
who had occupied the same room. Ray let out an angry growl and stalked off
to his own room. Why did everything make him think about Casey?
 
 His bed was unmade. He grinned when he remembered how he and Cat had
risen in a hurry that morning because Fraser was downstairs knocking on
the door. They had leapt to their feet and dressed hastily, laughing like
children. 
 
 Still smiling, he reached over and turned on the lamp by the bed. After
so long in darkness, the sudden glow caused him to blink several times
until his eyes adjusted. He reached over, picking up the pillows to move
them aside so he could straighten the sheets. On impulse he held one to
his face and breathed deeply. The pillow smelled just like Cat. He laughed
out loud. They had talked about scents their first night together. Cat had
told him the aftershave he favoured smelled like bugspray. Cat didn't use
cologne, she said she preferred the smell of the human body. Ray smiled at
the memory and it occurred to him that he had not worn aftershave since he
and Cat became lovers. Still smiling, Ray remade the bed. When he was
done, he brushed his teeth and slid between the just straightened sheets.
 
 Cat's scent on the pillow gave Ray some comfort, although he wasn't sure
why he needed it. He was a grown man after all. 'Who am I kidding?' he
asked himself, turning onto his side and tucking Cat's pillow against his
chest like a large teddy bear. He needed comfort all right. Fraser's tales
of his love life had reawakened all his feelings for Casey and left him
feeling troubled and anxious. In reality, he knew the feelings had never
gone away, he had just become adept at pushing them to the back of his
mind.
 
 Why was he still thinking about Casey when he had awakened that morning
wound protectively around the body of another woman? He knew the answer
before the question even finished forming in his mind. Not even three
passion filled days with Cat could erase what he felt for Casey. 
 
 Why couldn't he fall in love with Cat Madden, or someone else like her?
Could he have a relationship with a woman like Cat? No. He knew it could
never be. There was only one woman for him. The woman he would not let
himself have. For the moment, he would have to content himself with second
best. He sent a silent apology to Cat, but somehow he knew she would
understand. With his face buried in the pillow that had so recently
cradled Cat's head, Ray drifted off to sleep, his nostrils full of her
scent.
 
 
 
 The still silence in apartment 3J was broken by a voice in the darkness.
A voice filled with anguish. 
 
 "Please help me!" 
 
 Ben's cry in the night was enough to awaken Diefenbaker. The dreamcatcher
hanging on the wall above trembled imperceptibly and then was still. The
wolf padded over to the bed and took up a position where he could watch
his human and the dreamcatcher, waiting to see what would happen next. 
 
 Ben mumbled more incoherent words in his sleep and then turned restlessly
several times before flipping over onto his back. 
 
 "Phil!" he called into the night, then sat bolt upright, his eyes
blinking rapidly. 
 
 Had he just called Phil's name? Guiltily, he cast his eyes around the
room, finally lighting on the animal standing by his bed. For a moment he
was glad the wolf was deaf. Still, Dief seemed to know something. Was
there suspicion in those lupine eyes?
 
 "Ah, Diefenbaker," Ben muttered, feeling slightly embarrassed.
 
 *Whine*
 
 "Yes, I was dreaming. I'm sorry I woke you." Avoiding the wolf's eyes,
Ben pushed the covers aside and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
Dief is probably concerned, he mused. Rising to his feet he reached for a
sweatshirt and pulled it over his head. He was suddenly cold. Perhaps a
cup of hot tea was called for.
 
 Once he set the kettle to boil, Ben checked his watch. 10pm – much
earlier than he thought. He knew he had fallen into a deep sleep only
minutes after Ray dropped him home, but he was uncertain as to what
awakened him. He remembered going to sleep with Cat on his mind. 
 
 A sleepy smile lit his face. Yes, that must be what woke him. His
decision to renew his relationship with Cat Madden was bound to cause him
some concern after all these years. He must have imagined calling for
Phil. If he were calling for anyone, surely it would be Cat. He looked
down at the wolf that had followed him across the floor, unnerved by the
expression in his eyes. Was Dief inspecting him? Perhaps it was time to
discuss the subject with his wolf.
 
 Behind him the kettle boiled, allowing him a moment's grace. With slow
and deliberate movements, Ben crossed the floor and made himself a cup of
tea. Fortified by the warm mug in his hand, he turned to his lupine
companion.
 
 "Diefenbaker, there is something I need to tell you," Ben said firmly,
then crossed the room to his bed with the wolf on his heels. Settling onto
the tangled blankets so that he was closer to Dief's eye level, he began.
 
 "I've made a decision, Dief, and, as it affects you as well, I need to
tell you about it." He waited for a reaction, but there was none so he
continued. "I know you are very fond of Cat and you enjoy visiting Sheila
and Bella, so this should make you happy." He stopped again and checked
for Dief's reaction, but still the wolf was unmoved. "Dief, how would you
feel if we were to live with Cat for good?"
 
 Dief's tail banged excitedly on the floor. Who was he kidding? Of course
he would love to live with the Cat Woman. Cat Woman let him sleep anywhere
he liked, without yelling at him for leaving fur on the furniture. She
understood the sort of food he liked and let him have it without question.
Plus there was plenty of forest for him to explore. Then there was Sheila
and Bella. They certainly needed someone to watch over them. Living with
them would mean he could help keep the big male cats away. Oh yes, he
would enjoy living with the Cat Woman very much.
 
 "Good, good," Ben smiled, running his hands through the thick fur at
Dief's neck. "You see, Dief, I am planning to ask Cat to marry me." Dief's
tail stopped wagging but if Ben noticed it didn't stop him. "It seems the
most obvious course of action. If only I had realised long ago that this
is what I want, I could have saved myself a great deal of .....of
....well, things would be different."
 
 Dief watched his human, wondering how the man could be so stupid. Not
that he thought marrying Cat Woman was stupid. He adored her. She had been
a part of his life almost as long as Alpha Male. But she wasn't the one he
was meant to raise cubs with. It was so obvious to him, why couldn't the
human see it too? He knew Alpha Male had called for the Lavender Woman in
his sleep. Perhaps he should remind him?
 
 "Dief?" Ben asked, an edge of concern creeping into his voice. "You don't
seem very happy about this?"
 
 Diefenbaker turned away and walked to the other side of the room,
settling down in front of the now-bricked up fireplace. He looked up at
the mantle where the lavender bush rested in its pot, before resting his
muzzle on his paws.
 
 "No, Dief, you don't understand." Ben ran a hand nervously through his
hair. It seemed he had told Dief way too much about Phil. "There can be
nothing between Phil and I. It's Cat I love, I can see it now." He got to
his feet and took a few steps, then sat down again hastily. "I have wasted
too much time."
 
 *Whine* 
 
 "With all due respect, Diefenbaker, you do not know what is best for me."
He waved a finger at the wolf. "Cat has been a part of my life since long
before you were born. We have a connection. We should be together."
 
 Dief snorted and closed his eyes. Why did he care? If they went to live
with the Cat Woman he could have a whole bed to himself and no one would
worry. Life would be good. What did it matter if Alpha Male married the
Cat Woman instead of the one he should – the Lavender Woman?
 
 
 Ben stared at the wolf sleeping on the other side of the darkened room.
Dief seemed to have accepted the idea of he and Cat marrying without too
much argument. That was a good sign, surely? He yawned and leaned back on
the pillow, suddenly feeling very tired again. Yes, marrying Cat was the
only answer. But it was late, nearly eleven, and time he returned to bed.
 
 
 
 Cat cast her gaze around the tiny airport in search of the man who was
coming to collect her. There were several men she thought could be Joseph
Hope, but none of them seemed to be looking for anyone. Ray had been
little help, his only description of Joseph was an assurance that Cat
'would know him when she saw him.' She smiled to herself as she thought of
Ray. She was going to miss him.
 
 The sound of a door hitting a wall and a gust of icy air hit Cat suddenly
and she looked up to see a large bear of a man crossing the airport lounge
in loping strides. 
 
 "Cathy Madden?" the large man asked as he reached her and held out his
hand.
 
 "Joseph Hope," Cat replied, shaking the proffered hand. There was no
mistaking him. Now she understood Ray's comment. Joseph stood well over
six feet tall, with large powerful hands that seemed to consume her tiny
ones. He wore his greying hair long and pulled back into a ponytail and
his beard was neatly trimmed. She liked him immediately.
 
 Joseph retrieved Cat's pack from the floor then led her out a door on the
far side of the lounge, talking as they went. "Snow's real heavy this
year, so we have to use the chopper. Ray said you're a Mountie like Ben so
I don't suppose that's going to worry you?"
 
 "Not at all, I'm not scared of flying. It's very generous of you to go
out of your way to do this for me."
 
 "No problem. We're more than happy to help Ray and Ben in any way we can.
Besides, we love the company at this time of year." 
 
 Mutely, Cat followed Joseph out across the snow to the waiting chopper.
She didn't get a chance to speak, Joseph gave a running commentary all the
way to the Edge of the Earth.
 
 
 
 "We've opened up the cabin by the river, next to Casey," Emily Hope told
Cat as they made their way down the path to the cabins in the dark. The
two women had taken an instant liking to each other, reinforced when Cat
recognised Emily's jewellery as Native American and greeted the older
woman in her native Cree.
 
 "This is where Ray and Ben stayed," Emily said as they mounted the
snow-covered steps and entered the cabin that she indicated. "There's
plenty of firewood and I've stocked the kitchen with the basics, but we're
expecting you at the main house for dinner every night."
 
 "That's very generous, Emily, but I don't want to impose."
 
 "Nonsense, you won't be imposing. Besides, we're pleased to be able to
repay Ben and Ray anyway we can."
 
 Cat frowned and was just about to ask Emily what she meant by her comment
when she heard footsteps crunching their way down the path towards them.
 
 "Hello!" a voice called from the direction of the porch. 
 
 "Ah, that's my niece, Casey!" Emily said cheerfully. 
 
 Cat looked up to see a small woman dressed in jeans and a hand-knitted
sweater enter the room. She wore her honey blonde hair pulled into a
ponytail and she smiled broadly at Cat. She held her hand out. "Casey
Sinclair. I'm pleased to meet you." 
 
 Cat was struck by the colour of her eyes, a soft grey, unlike any colour
she had seen before. She shook the extended hand and smiled back, thinking
that Casey looked familiar. "Cathy Madden. I'm very pleased to meet you.
Ben and Ray have told me a lot about you."
 
 "Oh." The other woman averted her gaze for a moment before looking back
at Cat.
 
 Cat noticed a shadow flicker through Casey's pale eyes. Although Casey
continued to smile, Cat was aware the shadow was never too far away. She
was also aware that Emily watched her niece closely. Now there were two
things she wanted to ask Emily about.
 
 To cover the silence that fell between them Cat spoke, "I'm glad to
finally get the chance to personally thank you for helping Ben and Ray
after their plane crash the year before last."
 
 Casey blinked and her smile brightened. "It was my pleasure."
 
 Cat had the feeling she wanted to say more and she waited a moment for
her to continue. Casey opened her mouth, but Emily jumped in before she
could speak.
 
 "Ben went to stay with you after he left here, I recall?" It was clear
that she was trying to change the subject.
 
 Cat smiled at the older woman and stored the information away. "Yes
that's right, he talked a lot about his time here."
 
 Emily asked Cat about her home and the conversation drifted away from Ben
and Ray's stay at Edge of the Earth. The women continued to talk for a
while and eventually Emily pressed them to come back to the house for
supper. Cat couldn't help but wonder, though, why Emily seemed so keen to
avoid the topic of Ray and Ben's visit.
 
 
 Emily led Cat and Casey back to the main house for a late snack. The
subject of Ben and Ray was carefully avoided for the rest of the evening.
Instead they talked of Casey's son, Trevor, who would arrive in a few
days, home for a brief break from college. The whole family seemed excited
about his return and after an initial comment about Cat's visit to
Chicago, that was all they talked about.
 
 
 
 Ben fought his way through the bushes, his heart pounding. He felt like
he had run for hours. He wasn't running away from something, he was
running to something. But what that something was, he couldn't say.
Suddenly, he broke through the undergrowth and found himself on the edge
of a cliff. For a brief moment, he had the urge to continue over the edge
of the cliff, safe in the knowledge that he would reach whatever it was he
was running to. A warm wind rushed up the cliff and his heart swelled with
love and he knew in that instant that it was Cat he ran to. He held his
arms out like wings and felt her strength lift him, felt her love give him
freedom. He made the decision to leap, safe in the knowledge that Cat's
love would buoy him up. 
 
 He took a deep breath, bent his legs and jumped, but nothing happened.
Something held him down. The wind gusting up the cliff face suddenly
turned freezing and it hit him like a blow, making him shiver with cold.
Again, he tried to jump, but still he could not move. 
 
 Panic rose in Ben's heart and he looked down at the ground to see what
held him back. Dozens of writhing snakes held his ankles. An ugly gargoyle
sat nearby, it's icy fingers idly stroking Ben's leg. He opened his mouth
to call out Cat's name, but no sound came. The beast turned its face to
him and Ben gasped in horror. The beast bore Victoria's face. 
 
 She opened her mouth, spewing forth a freezing wind, colder than he had
ever felt before. In despair, he turned his face to the wind rushing up
the cliff, searching for a hint of the warmth it had previously brought,
but it, too, was even colder than before. 
 
 Once again he tried to call for Cat to save him, but again nothing
happened, no words came. The beast with Victoria's face still held him
down. Suddenly, a face appeared in the clouds. Cat's face. 
 
 She opened her mouth and called to him, urging him to fly. Warm wind
flowed from her, thawing the cold from the beast. He closed his eyes and
threw back his head, opening his mouth to call out again. This time the
words rushed up from the pit of his heart, forcing their way out of his
lips. But when he found his voice it wasn't Cat he called for.
 
 "Please help me, Phil. You're the only one who can save me." 
 
 Shocked at the words that had been wrung from the depths of his soul, Ben
forced his eyes open so that he could see Cat again. But when he opened
his eyes, it wasn't Cat's face he saw. It was Phil's. Ben tossed and
turned. It wasn't Phil he wanted – it was Cat. Cat was the one to save
him, he knew that now. So why was it Phil he called for? Why was it Phil's
face that filled his mind?
 
 Diefenbaker lifted his head and stared at the man tossing on the bed. He
was right when he told Alpha Male that the Lavender Woman was the one for
him. The dreamcatcher over the bed trembled, making its stones rattle
against the wall in an attempt to capture the dream. It seemed the spirits
were conspiring, as well, to make sure that Ben did not forget his true
love.
 
 
 
 "Speak to me, sandbar," Ray's voice sounded large as it travelled across
the water.
 
 "Ray, is that a waterfall I hear?" Ben asked, uncertainty in his voice.
 
 "Waterfall?" Ray asked, "What waterfall?" But even as he spoke he became
aware of the rumbling of water not too far ahead. He followed Ben's gaze.
"Oh shit!" 
 
 Ray sat down and gripped the edge of the makeshift raft, steeling himself
against the impact he knew was to come. A feeling of deja vu washed over
him. Turning his head to check on his companion, he realised Ben was gone.
Frantically, he looked around again and this time saw that the raft, too,
was gone. Instead, he hovered at the top of the waterfall buoyed up by
dozens of rats, all chattering away. He opened his mouth to call for help,
but no voice came. Panicking, he kicked frantically at the rats, but as
soon as he pushed one away, another ten took its place. 
 
 Out of nowhere, a voice came. A beautiful, golden voice. "Ray!" the voice
called from the base of the waterfall. "I will catch you."
 
 Ray struggled against the rats that held him perched at the top of the
waterfall. He could tell the voice came from the bottom of the fall and he
wanted desperately to get to its source. He knew if he could get to the
voice he would be saved. He knew he would be comforted.
 
 The voice called to him again. "Ray, I'm waiting for you. All you have to
do is jump over the edge and I will catch you."
 
 Ray struggled harder against the rats, which now seemed determined to
carry him upstream, further away from the voice. A memory teased his
thoughts. It was Casey calling to him.
 
 "Casey!" he called out, his voice ragged with fear. 
 
 As if to taunt him, the rats took him closer to the edge so that he was
able to see over the brink. At the bottom of the waterfall he saw the love
of his life dressed in a shimmering gold dress and surrounded by thousands
of bees. As Ray watched, the bees lifted Casey up and brought her to his
level, swarming protectively around her.
 
 "Jump, Ray," Casey called to him, stretching out a hand so that he could
almost touch her. "Jump over the edge, Ray."
 
 Ray tried to jump towards her, but the rats held him. He looked at Casey
in desperation. "I can't!" he cried. "The rats won't let me!" 
 
 "Jump over the edge and I will catch you," Casey promised.
 
 Ray tried to jump again, but this time the rats drew him away, taking him
further upstream. He struggled and fought, but more and more rats swarmed
around him until he was driven upstream at a rapid rate. He turned to see
Casey surrounded by her swarm of bees. She still called to him to jump
over the edge, but he could no longer hear her voice. In a final moment of
panic he called to her. 
 
 "Casey!"
 
 Ray sat up with a start. His heart beat furiously in his chest and his
pyjamas were soaked with sweat. Had he called Casey's name in his sleep?
Running a hand across his forehead, Ray thought it was probably a good
thing his family was still away, otherwise by now Francesca and his mother
would be in his room flapping and clucking. 
 
 Fragments of his dream came back to him, but it made no sense. He lay
down again and tried to calm his breathing, refusing to admit that he had
dreamt of Casey. Ray stared at the ceiling for a long time before he
finally went back to sleep. Why, after all this time, was his mind so full
of Casey?
 
 
 
 Phil could only watch as Ben Fraser, clad in red dress serge and mounted
upon a large white horse, rode steadily towards her. Her heart beat
furiously in her chest as he bore down on her, his eyes burning right
through to her soul. She knew he could see to the deep, dark recesses of
her heart and knew what was hidden there. But it didn't scare her any
more. She wanted Ben to know what was in her heart. 
 
 He reached out his right hand, still clutching the reins with his left.
In his extended hand he brandished a brilliant blue axe, which he lifted
over his head, as if showing it off to the world. But she wasn't
frightened. In her heart, Phil knew he would sweep her up and take her
away to a place where the past did not matter and, more than anything, she
wanted to go with him. As the horse drew level with her, Phil looked at
the hand that held the axe, then shifted her gaze, seeking Ben's eyes,
anxious to let him know that she loved him still – that she forgave him
for the past – that she had been waiting for him to come for her. But it
was no longer Ben on the horse.
 
 In his place sat a woman, dressed in the same red dress serge of the
RCMP. Her face bore Ben's deep blue eyes and warm, gracious smile. The axe
was gone from her hand and this time the hand reached down in Phil's
direction. But it was not to Phil she reached. TJ suddenly appeared at her
side and in one graceful swoop, the woman collected TJ and deposited him
on the saddle behind her. Hastily, she turned the horse around and rode
off into the distance, followed by a large rooster and a pair of ducks. 
 
 Stunned into silence, Phil watched the strange procession until it
disappeared from her sight. As she turned to walk away, Phil noticed the
bed of roses surrounding her. She watched a hand pluck a red rose from a
bush and tuck it into the buttonhole of her jacket. Only then did she
realise it was her hand.
 
 Glancing in the direction taken by TJ and the woman on horseback, Phil
searched for a sign of Ben. Faint pain gnawed at her heart. Ben had left
her again, just when she thought he was coming for her. She didn't want to
feel that pain again. She had to get away from the hurt. Like trying to
swim in treacle, Phil fought her way to the surface, away from the pain.
Away from Ben.
 
 Phil took a deep breath and turned over onto her back, flinging one arm
over her head. She wasn't quite awake, just not as deeply asleep as she
had been during her dream. Her chest rose and fell in steady, comfortable
waves and when her subconscious knew she was past the danger point, it let
here drift down into deep sleep again. On the wall above her, the
dreamcatcher vibrated inconspicuously. It hadn't missed a thing. 
 
 
 The alarm clock rang incessantly. Chance looked at his sleeping human,
mildly annoyed that she wasn't awake and ready to feed him. Maybe if he
jumped on her?
 
 When she finally realised that the ringing was not in her head, but the
alarm, Phil bolted awake, her head whipping around to check the time.
 
 "Oh no! Look at the time," Phil leapt up and raced through her morning
preparations. She had only 15 minutes before Jeff Bowers would arrive to
accompany her to a meeting.
 
 
 Jeff Bowers held the door to the street for Phil. As she passed, her coat
caught on the door handle, pulling her up short. Her briefcase flew from
her hand and she stooped to collect it. When Jeff reached for the case,
they collided, bumping heads as they went.
 
 "I'm sorry, Jeff," Phil said as she gathered her things and rose to her
feet.
 
 "Shall we try that again, Phil?" Jeff joked as he stepped aside to let
Phil pass.
 
 She took two steps and then dropped her briefcase again. "Damn, I'm
clumsy today," she frowned.
 
 This time Phil let Jeff retrieve her briefcase and hand it to her.
 
 "Third time lucky?" Jeff laughed, indicating the path they were about to
tread.
 
 After a deep breath, Phil laughed and the two colleagues set off in the
direction of the office building where their meeting would be held.
 
 The law firm they were meeting with to discuss the 'Team Building'
package she and Jeff had developed had offices in a building on Stetson
Avenue. Their decision to walk would take them directly past the Canadian
Consulate. Not too long ago this would have been enough to send her into a
spin. But now, since she had gone 'mountie hunting' and found that the
tall, handsome man in dress reds who stood guard was not Ben Fraser, Phil
was relatively unperturbed by the prospect. 
 
 "Are you OK, Phil?" Jeff asked as they made their way along the sidewalk.
"You seem a little rattled this morning."
 
 "Yeah, I'm fine, Jeff," Phil replied. "I just feel a little nervous. I
have this feeling like something's about to happen."
 
 "It is," Jeff grinned. "We're about to convince a third law firm that
they need BakTrak's services."
 
 Phil grinned. "You're right. I shouldn't be nervous."
 
 "No, you've done this several times now and you're always fantastic.
They'll love you."
 
 "Thanks, Jeff."
 
 They continued on in silence for a while. Phil thought about what she had
said to Jeff. Was she nervous about the meeting? No. There was something
else going on. An image popped into her mind from her dream the night
before. Something about a rooster and an axe. She shook herself. It was
too strange to think about.
 
 "That must be it," Jeff said, pointing to the dark, imposing building a
few doors down. "They said the building is not far from the Canadian
Consulate." He indicated the pale building across the street.
 
 "Yes," Phil said softly, her eyes drifting to the other side of the
street to the building she knew well, the building where she knew she
would find a Mountie on sentry duty.
 
 As expected, a tall, handsome young man stood at attention at the foot of
the stairs. No longer did she feel compelled to check his face to see if
it was Ben. She was proud of herself. Yes, she was definitely over him. 
 
 As she watched, the front door opened and out stepped a pretty young
woman sporting a long black overcoat trimmed with candy pink fur collar
and cuffs. Following her was another Mountie, this time wearing a brown
uniform. The woman turned to the Mountie and threw her arms around his
neck, kissing him repeatedly. Gripping the woman's smaller hands in his,
he pulled back, keeping his head tilted. 
 
 A pang of regret shot through Phil. It was clear they were in love. The
Mountie must be embarrassed by the show of emotion, Phil thought. He
seemed to be avoiding the woman's attentions. She wasn't surprised, after
all, they were right outside the Consulate.
 
 She continued to watch as the Mountie hailed a taxi and held the door as
the young woman got into it. He closed the door, then walked to the
driver's side and handed him some money. The Mountie waited for the taxi
to depart and then turned and walked quickly back into the building. Phil
smiled faintly. Ben would have done the same thing. 
 
 She sighed and for a moment allowed herself the indulgence of wishing she
had someone to take care of her like the young woman in the gaudy coat.
But now was not the time to think about that. She shook the thought away.
Giving the Consulate a final glance, Phil followed Jeff in silence down
the street the rest of the way to the building where their meeting was to
be.
 
 As she reached the top step, her foot encountered an icy patch and
slipped, throwing her off balance. Then she was falling, slipping down the
icy stone steps of the law firm of Sandburg and Black. Jeff reached out to
grab her as she fell, but wasn't quick enough. She landed unceremoniously
on her butt at the foot of the steps, her foot twisted cruelly underneath
her body. Jeff was at her side in an instant.
 
 "Let me help you, Phil." He knew she had twisted the same ankle as she
had broken not six months earlier. Anxious to get her out of the snow and
somewhere dry, he hauled her over his shoulder and, with the help of the
doorman, carried her into the lobby. 
 
 "Wait!" Phil snapped. "My briefcase."
 
 The doorman swept up Phil's briefcase and the items that had flown out
and then followed Jeff into the lobby.
 
 Phil's face was contorted in pain as he settled her onto the chair
offered by the doorman. "I'm OK, Jeff," she insisted.
 
 "You're not. I'm going to call an ambulance."
 
 "I do not need an ambulance. We have a meeting in ten minutes."
 
 "You're going to the hospital, Phil. I can handle the meeting." He
gestured to the doorman, who dashed away to make the necessary call.
 
 "Dammit it all to hell, Jeff, I don't have time to go to the hospital!"
Phil snapped.
 
 Jeff's eyebrows shot up. Never had he heard Phil McKenzie swear like
this. She must be in more pain than he realised. Sending her to the
hospital was definitely the right thing. 
 
 
 
 On her first morning at the Edge of the Earth Cat slept later than usual.
It wasn't something she was accustomed to doing, but she let it happen,
aware that it must be what her body and soul needed. She got up and made a
pot of coffee, then stepped out onto the small porch to survey her
surroundings. It had snowed again during the night and the forest around
her seemed to glisten. A short time later Casey appeared on the path that
joined their cabins.
 
 "Good morning," Cat called cheerfully.
 
 "Morning." Casey smiled at her and held aloft a small basket. "I've
brought you some fresh muffins." She had risen early to make them so she
would have an excuse to visit the new guest in the cabin across the
clearing.
 
 "Great! Thank you! I've just made some coffee. Will you join me?"
 
 "I'd love to." Casey followed the other woman inside, unable to stop a
question in her mind about how Cat fitted into Ben and Ray's lives. She
was an old friend of Ben's, she knew, but what was she doing at Ray's
place? Where they lovers? Or was she just being paranoid?
 
 Cat poured the coffee, aware of Casey's scrutiny as the other woman put
the muffins onto a plate. "I can see why Ben and Ray loved it here so
much. I'm so pleased Ray suggested I come," she said, as a way of opening
the conversation.
 
 Casey flinched and Cat wondered what it could mean. There seemed to be
several things that had made Casey react since her arrival last night. Was
she being paranoid?
 
 Casey smiled and relaxed a little. "I was only visiting when they were
here. I was still living near Chicago then, but now I've moved here
permanently and I don't want to be anywhere else."
 
 Cat frowned. So Casey had lived near Chicago? Funny, Ray didn't mention
that. She smiled at the other woman. "I feel the same way about the town
where I live. It's only a small town, but I can't ever imagine leaving."
 
 Casey nodded. Needing to know more about this woman, she asked casually,
"So you're an old friend of Ben's?"
 
 "Yes. We've known each other since we were twenty." Cat sipped her coffee
and broke off a bit of muffin.
 
 Casey frowned slightly. "But .... weren't you staying with Ray in
Chicago?"
 
 "Yes. His mother insisted. She didn't like the thought of me sleeping on
Ben's floor." Cat laughed and after a moment, Casey did too. 
 
 "I thought maybe you and Ray....." Casey's voice trailed off. 
 
 Cat froze. Suddenly, several things fell into place and she looked at
Casey with renewed interest. Was Casey the woman that Ray was in love
with? Her sixth sense told her that it was probably so, but she wanted to
make sure. She put her cup down and leaned towards the other woman.
 
 "Ray's heart belongs to someone else." 
 
 She watched as Casey smiled broadly, the shadow leaving her eyes for a
moment. Cat smiled also. It was nice to have her sixth sense functioning
again. Cat remembered Ray telling her some bad things had happened to
Casey and she wondered what they were. She knew it had to be pretty
serious to make her leave Chicago. Now that Cat knew who she was looking
at, it was clear Casey still loved Ray. This was stranger than she first
realised.
 
 
 
 Ben yawned, his mouth stretching wide. Guiltily, he raised a hand to
cover his mouth and then checked that no one had seen him. Inspector
Thatcher had been harder on him than usual since Cat's visit to Chicago
and he didn't want her to catch him yawning on the job. Plus there was the
surprise visit from Francesca Vecchio earlier that morning. The Inspector
made no comment about that incident, but her displeasure was clear. He
still felt embarrassed. 
 
 Francesca had bounced into his office, flinging herself into his arms,
telling him she had come straight from the airport to see that he was OK.
She said she learned of Cat's early departure the night before when her
mother had called Ray. She took it upon herself to come home from Florida
to see to his welfare – just in case. She left only when he assured her
that he was fine and would call her if he needed anything. Then he
escorted her down the stairs and flagged a taxi. 
 
 Before she got in the taxi, though, she flung her arms around his neck,
pressing his face into the outrageous pink fur trim on her overcoat. Right
out front of the Canadian Consulate, what's more. And Constable Turnbull
had been on sentry duty. Just thinking about it made him blush. He had to
move to the other side of the car and pay the driver to get away from her
and hide his discomfort.
 
 Ben yawned again, longer this time, wondering if he could take a nap at
lunchtime. He just didn't have the energy to worry about the scene with
Francesca. It was his dreams of the previous night that occupied his mind.
First they had kept him from his rest and now they were filling his mind
during his waking hours. 
 
 Ben frowned. What was it he dreamt about? He had dreamt about ..... Cat.
Or was it Phil? No. He dismissed that thought with a shake of his head.
No, he had definitely dreamt of Cat. A brief smile flitted across his
handsome face. It had been many years since he found himself yawning at
work because of Cat. Why then wasn't he filled with joy?
 
 
 
 Ray yawned and briefly rested his head on the cool surface of his desk.
Dreams had kept him awake part of the night and he was more irritable than
he had been for weeks. It had been his first chance for days to get some
sleep. 
 
 A brief smile flitted across his face as he lifted his head from the
desk. It was a good thing Cat left when she did. Ray didn't think he would
have survived too much more. The smile was replaced with a snarl as Jack
Huey approached his desk and tossed a wad of photographs at him. Snatching
up the pile, he flicked through the shots.
 
 "Huey, these are crap. Who took these? Your cat?"
 
 Huey looked at Ray over his shoulder as he walked away. "If you don't
like it, Vecchio, you can take your own damn pictures! I spent all night
sitting in that crummy hotel room to get these shots and it's not even my
case!"
 
 "They're not even in focus, you moron! How am I supposed to use this as
evidence when I can't even see the guy's face?"
 
 Huey turned and strolled back over to Ray's desk, resting his hands on
the surface. Leaning down close to Ray he growled, "Like I said, Vecchio,
it's not my case. Do your own work. You stakeout this joint. You spend the
night in that rat-infested cockroach pit." His voice was soft, but
menacing. "Maybe Fraser's wolf can do a better job than my cat!"
 
 Ray started at the mention of rats, instantly remembering his dream from
the night before. Thrown off balance, he rose to his feet and made an
attempt to regain control. "At least I might get some pictures you can
see!"
 
 Huey made an obscene gesture with his hand and stalked off, leaving Ray
scowling. After a moment, he turned and scooped up the phone on his desk,
hastily dialling the number of the Canadian Consulate.
 
 "Fraser, I need your help tonight," he said, when a familiar voice
answered at the other end.
 
 
 
 Rob McKenzie wasn't on duty when Phil arrived at Cook County Hospital. As
soon as the medics gave her name to the desk and her file pulled, a
frantic discussion was held as to whether they should call Rob, who had
only gone home two hours earlier after a punishing sixteen hour shift. A
decision was made and then, with their usual efficiency, the staff had
Phil propped up on a bed and waiting for the doctor in no time. 
 
 Phil waited less than patiently behind the ghastly green curtains where
the nurse had parked her. Cook County was always busy and she knew she
could be in for a long wait. Besides, she didn't think she needed to be
there at all. Jeff should have put her in a taxi and sent her home. It was
enough to make her blood boil. All set to stew and later vent her anger,
Phil was startled when the curtain flew back to reveal a tall, handsome
doctor. 
 
 Clutching her chart in one hand and closing the curtain with the other he
addressed her in a smooth, firm voice, "Philippe McKenzie?" 
 
 "Yes."
 
 "I'm Dr Stevenson." He looked up from the chart. "So you're Rob's
sister?" He moved down to her ankle, not waiting for her reply. Tossing
back the sheet covering Phil's leg, he held her ankle in both hands and
began to rotate and wiggle it. "I have strict instructions to take extra
special care of you."
 
 Deprived of a reason to be angry with the cheerful, handsome man
attending her, Phil looked for another opportunity to gain the upper hand.
"And quickly, I hope," she snapped, "I have a business to take care of."
 
 Dr Stevenson stopped his inspection of Phil's ankle and looked at her,
the grin on his face making Phil's heart rate rise. "Yep, just like Rob
said when I spoke to him a few minutes ago. He warned me about you and
your.......attitude."
 
 "Attitude?" Phil's voice rose slightly. She didn't like not being in
control. She opened her mouth to speak again, but Dr Stevenson cut her
off.
 
 "But he didn't tell me you were this pretty," he said, smiling a
disarmingly sweet smile.
 
 Phil's words stuck in her throat and she blushed a furious shade of red.
It was time to change the subject. "So is my brother coming?" she snapped
angrily, feeling rattled by the handsome man whose hands flitted gently
over her ankle.
 
 "Depends on your x-rays. He only got off duty two hours ago. I said I'd
call him if anything out of the ordinary showed up or if it's aggravated
your old injury. Otherwise, I'll be taking care of you." He moved back up
the bed and patted Phil's hand. "Let's get those x-rays done. Can I call
someone to give you a ride home? Husband? Boyfriend?"
 
 "My other brother, Dr Tom McKenzie." 
 
 "Two doctors in the family?" Dr Stevenson said, as he scribbled on Phil's
chart.
 
 "Three," Phil stated firmly. She didn't like the way his deep, rich voice
filled her ears and stopped her from thinking straight. She hadn't felt
like this in a long time.
 
 "I see," he grinned his disarming grin again. "Well, Dr McKenzie. I'll
get someone to call your brother and I'll be back to look at your x-rays
later."
 
 He smiled and breezed out of the room, leaving Phil blushing like a
schoolgirl and angry in a way that she hadn't been since ..... since when?
Realisation crept up on her. Not since the day she met Ben Fraser. That
knowledge only served to make her angrier.
 
 
 
 Phil was still grumpy when TJ helped her into her apartment two hours
later.
 
 "You know as soon as you leave, TJ, I'm going straight downstairs to do
some work," Phil threatened.
 
 "Yeah, well just humour your old brother for five minutes, Phil," he said
as he helped her onto the sofa, propping her injured leg up on a cushion.
"Dr Stevenson told me to make sure you kept your leg up for at least
today. I don't know what you said to him before I got there, but he seemed
to know it was useless to think you'd take any more time off." 
 
 Phil poked out her tongue at TJ as he went off to make them coffee. 
 
 "Jeff said you seemed a bit rattled this morning," TJ said when he
returned later with their coffee. "Is everything OK?" 
 
 "Yes. Stop treating me like a child, TJ." Phil sipped at her coffee. "I
just didn't sleep very well last night."
 
 "Something on your mind?"
 
 "No, I just had some strange dreams. No big deal. You know how it is when
a dream hangs over you and you can't remember what it was about."
 
 TJ clucked sympathetically. "Yeah, I hate when that happens."
 
 "All morning I felt like something was going to happen," Phil mused,
thoughtfully.
 
 TJ chuckled. "Self-fulfilling prophecy, Flip."
 
 "Thanks. You're a real help."
 
 He held his hands up in mock surrender. "OK, sorry. Do you remember
anything from your dream? Maybe you were just thinking about work?"
 
 Phil closed her eyes for a second and thought back to when she woke up
that morning. Suddenly, the dream came back to her. She had dreamt about
Ben. 
 
 "Oh....." she said out loud. "I've just remembered my dream."
 
 "Tell me about it. I might be able to interpret."
 
 Skipping over some of the details, like the fact that it was Ben who
approached her on horseback, Phil told TJ about her dream.
 
 "Whoa, that's a pretty heavy dream," TJ said shaking his head, a few
minutes later. He locked eyes with his sister, grinning evilly. "Lots of
symbolism there, Phil."
 
 "Like what?" She didn't like the look on her brother's face. It was way
too cheeky. She had the feeling she wasn't going to like what he was about
to say.
 
 "Well, to start with, the horse is a maternal archetype, but in some
cultures it is a symbol of lust." TJ ignored Phil's startled gasp. "Then
there's the axe – that's a symbol of fertility. The Chinese use it in
wedding rituals. The fact that it's blue is doubly interesting because
blue represents female fertility." He stopped, barely resisting the urge
to laugh, when he realised Phil was staring at him open-mouthed.
 
 "Oh my....." Phil's voice trailed off, thankful that she hadn't told TJ
that it was Ben on the horse.
 
 "There's more." TJ coughed and Phil wondered again if she wanted to hear
it. "You realise, of course, that another word for rooster is cock? Need I
say more?"
 
 Phil blushed then muttered, "I hate having an anthropologist for a
brother." She felt very exposed.
 
 "It's a pretty sexual dream, Phil. Maybe your mind is telling you it's
time you had someone in your life. Or maybe it's just your biological
clock ticking away."
 
 "But what about the man turning into a woman in a Mountie uniform and
riding off with you?" Phil interjected, trying desperately to change the
subject.
 
 "That, I admit, is odd," TJ conceded. "The ducks that followed represent
wedded bliss, so maybe you're thinking too much about getting me and Cat
together."
 
 "Yes, that could be it," Phil mused. So why then did the woman look like
Ben? "But I still say you and Cat would make a great couple."
 
 TJ shook his head. "You don't need to convince me of that, Phil. But you
know Cat and I are ancient history. Stop trying to distract me. This is
about you." TJ ran a hand through his long hair, pushing aside his own
hope that something could happen between him and Cat in the future. "I
know what happens when you deny you need love. You saw what happened to
me." He looked away from Phil's steady gaze, a smile threatening. "There
is something else...."
 
 "Yes?" Phil didn't like the teasing tone in her brother's voice.
 
 "Well a red rose, when worn, represents conception. I really think this
is about you needing to do something about your life."
 
 A wicked smile curled at Phil's mouth. "So, TJ, you're saying I need a
man?"
 
 TJ's wicked smile matched that of his sister. "It wouldn't do you any
harm. And Dr Stevenson did ask me about your availability and I might have
mentioned that he should call you....."
 
 Phil grinned and tossed a cushion at her brother. She suddenly felt
lighter. That's what this was all about. The handsome Dr Stevenson might
just be the whole reason for her distraction that morning, might just be
the whole reason for her ankle injury. She knew Cat would tell her it was
so. Cat believed that everything happened for a reason. Maybe her reason
was Dr Martin Stevenson.
 
 
 
 Cat followed Casey along the bank of Bounty Creek, picking a route
between the boulders. The snow was deep and she sank down to her knees in
places. She didn't know this area like Casey did and it showed in the
slowness of her progress. Casey stopped and waited for Cat to reach her
side, her breath misting the air around her.
 
 "This is about where I pulled Ben out of the river," she said.
 
 Cat cast her eyes around the area, taking in the rapidly swirling water
at the base of the waterfall and the speed with which it carried flotsam
downstream. The rocks around the waterfall were coated in a thick layer of
ice and the sunlight reflecting off the surfaces sparkled like gemstones,
giving the area an almost magical quality. The snow on the other side of
the river was thick and untouched. At that moment it seemed to Cat that
they could be the only ones in the world. 
 
 The rumble of the waterfall filled her ears and a breeze picked up the
icy spray and washed it over the two women. Her eyes travelled up the
waterfall and down again. She let out a whistle. 
 
 "Jesus, those two have to be the luckiest men alive," Cat said, shaking
her head.
 
 Casey looked at the ground. "They sure are. First they survive a plane
crash, then some thug tries to kill them and then this..." she gestured
towards the waterfall.
 
 Cat stared up at the waterfall again, shuddering suddenly with something
more than just cold. "I can't tell you the number of times Ben should have
been killed over the years. I don't know how, but he seems to attract
trouble. Ray seems to be just as bad, so they only make it worse for each
other." She shifted her gaze to Casey and her voice turned serious.
"Neither of them would have survived this if you hadn't been here, Casey."
 
 Casey looked at her feet, embarrassed. "I'm just glad I was here. The
world wouldn't be the same without those two."
 
 "You're right about that," Cat stared back at the waterfall, not wanting
to think about that possibility.
 
 "Come on, I'll show you where Ray crossed." Casey's cheerful voice
drifted to Cat as she made her way warily over the rocks away from her.
 
 
 Casey approached the jagged rock cut where Ray had jumped all those
months ago. Cat followed behind, mumbling words of appreciation.
 
 "Wow, Ray jumped that?" she asked, surprise in her voice.
 
 Casey grinned. "Yeah, surprised the hell out of me. I had already planned
the quickest route down to the shore to pull him out. No way I thought
that scrawny Italian was going to make the distance."
 
 "Yeah, Ray's surprised me a few times as well," Cat smiled in reply, her
mind drifting back to the three days she spent alone with Ray. 
 
 But Casey wasn't listening. She turned her head and gazed across the rock
cut, remembering the day Ray Vecchio landed at her feet. Her life would
never be the same again.
 
 Cat watched Casey, her instinct telling her that the other woman was
thinking about Ray. She saw the range of emotions that paraded through
Casey's storm grey eyes. What had happened between her and Ray? A thought
popped into her head and she whipped out the tiny camera she had packed
into the pocket of her coat.
 
 "Casey, can I take your picture here? You know, a memento? And one at the
waterfall as well?"
 
 Casey shrugged. She could see no harm in it. "Sure. Why not? Where do you
want me?"
 
 Cat manoeuvred Casey into position, so that the jagged rock cut was in
view as well. Grinning to herself, Cat snapped off a few shots, wondering
how Ray would react when he saw them. Ben and Phil were beyond her help
now, but there was nothing to stop her from nudging Casey and Ray. Maybe
this was the reason for her trip to the Edge of the Earth.
 
 
 
 A little after dark Ben and Ray arrived at the ready-to-be-condemned,
two-bit hotel that served as cover for their stakeout. Barely
acknowledging the low-life at the front desk, Ray made his way through the
building, with Ben and Dief following close behind. Keeping up a constant
discourse on the state of the building, the reputation of its residents
and how tough being a cop in Chicago could be, Ray led them to the dank
third floor room where Detective Black had spent the last eight hours. Ben
hovered in the background, absently stroking Dief, as he waited for Ray to
be briefed by Detective Black. 
 
 There had been no sign of their quarry all day, but that was as they
expected. The man in question, Peter Reith, had only ever been seen in
this location at night, so there was little for Black to report. After a
few instructions on how to operate the equipment, Black departed, leaving
Ben and Ray alone in the austere hotel room.
 
 
 "All I need is one shot of this guy," Ray explained later, from his
position behind the expensive camera fitted with a powerful telephoto
lens. "But right now I'd settle for someone who even looks a bit like
him."
 
 "How will that help, Ray?" Ben asked, peering out the window at the
building across the street that Ray watched – a rental video store. His
job tonight was to watch the street for a red car, a red Corvair. It would
signal the arrival of their man.
 
 "I know this guy. I know he's responsible for the Keating murders," Ray
snarled, a feral tone in his voice. "And the son-of-a-bitch knows I've got
no evidence."
 
 Ben remembered the Keating murders well – a horrific murder of a man, his
wife, and their young daughter. It was believed the man had a very large
gambling debt and his creditors had tired of waiting for payment. Ben had
helped Ray work the case several times in the past few months. But he
still could not see the connection. "So how will a photograph of this man
going into a video rental store help?"
 
 Ray peered into the viewfinder and adjusted the ring on the lens. "Reith
got out on parole two weeks before the Keating murders." He turned around
to face Ben. "A condition of his parole was that he was to have no contact
with one Mr John Howard." He turned back to the camera, but continued
speaking. "Now Howard is the guy that he did the job with that got him in
jail in the first place – a huge drug deal – enough smack to supply
Chicago and New York for a year."
 
 "That's an awful lot, Ray, but what's the connection?"
 
 "Howard got out about a year ago and set himself up in business." Ray
turned to face his friend again. "The video rental business."
 
 Ben looked thoughtful. "And you want to prove that Reith is in contact
with Howard?"
 
 Ray grinned his evil, feral grin. "If I can't get the son-of-a-bitch for
what I know he's done, I'm happy to put him back in the can for anything I
can find."
 
 Ben gave a thoughtful shrug, "Like Al Capone and the tax evasion that
sent him to Alcatraz?"
 
 "Exactly, Benny."
 
 
 Ben checked his watch and stifled a yawn. Ray really needed his help
tonight. His weariness should not be the cause of Ray missing out on
getting the evidence required to convict Reith. Ray had worked so hard to
keep this man off the streets.
 
 Ray moved away from the camera and turned around to face Ben. Too much
sitting still was making him even more tired. Always observant, Ben
noticed and moved toward his friend.
 
 "Ray, would you like me to take over for a while?"
 
 "Sure, Benny, that'd be great." 
 
 Ray rose from his seat behind the camera and large telescopic lens and
stepped aside, allowing the Mountie to take up the position. Stretching
his arms in the air, he threw back his head and yawned, making no attempt
to stifle it as Ben had done.
 
 "Christ, I'll be glad when this is over, I'm exhausted." Ray yawned
again.
 
 Ben looked over his shoulder. "My, my, Ray. You are tired." He returned
his attention to the camera. "I thought you had an early night last
night?"
 
 Ray pulled a chair close to the window, so that he could see both his
friend and the street below. "Yeah, I went straight home after I dropped
you off." He chuckled, "I planned to catch up on some of the sleep I
missed out on while Cat was here, if you know what I mean."
 
 Ben smiled into the camera. He knew exactly what Ray was talking about.
"But you didn't?" 
 
 Ray rubbed his hands over his face and yawned again. "I had trouble
sleeping - you know - lotsa dreams...."
 
 Ben sat up suddenly. He, too, had been kept awake by dreams. That was
strange, indeed. 
 
 "Dreams, Ray?" he asked, hoping his voice sounded casual.
 
 "Yeah." Ray scratched his ear and looked thoughtful. "Have you ever had
the sort of dreams that wake you up in the middle of the night and then
you can't stop thinking about them all day?"
 
 Ben turned to face his friend. "Yes, yes, I have." He licked his lips and
said in an almost shy, nervous tone. "It's a rather strange coincidence,
Ray, but I, too, experienced the same sort of dreams last night."
 
 Ray frowned and then feigned annoyance. Something about Ben's all knowing
stare unnerved him. 
 
 "People dream all the time, Fraser."
 
 "Yes, that is so, but it seems like we shared a particular kind of dream
and that, I suspect, is not so common."
 
 Ray felt very unnerved now. "Get outta that chair, Fraser. I feel safer
if I'm taking these pictures."
 
 The two men swapped positions. The silence became deafening.
 
 "You know, Ray, Cat is very interested in dream interpretation. I've
learned a great deal from her over the years and that, coupled with the
knowledge gleaned from my grandparent's library, means that I have become
reasonably proficient at interpretation myself......"
 
 "And you're telling me this because......?"
 
 "Well, it seems obvious that your dream has caused you some concern."
 
 "I'm not telling you about it, Fraser, so drop it."
 
 "Well perhaps if I tell you my dream, you won't feel so embarrassed about
telling me yours." The words were out of his mouth before he knew it. Ben
wasn't sure why he made the offer. He was normally not so forthcoming with
personal details.
 
 Ray snapped his head around to face Ben. "What is this? Some kind of
Mountie 'you show me yours'?"
 
 "I just thought ...."
 
 "Well you can just think again," Ray snapped then turned back to the
camera. Glancing over his shoulder, he intercepted one of Ben's intense
stares, the ones that unnerved him. Sighing deeply, he knew he would get
no peace until he shared his dream with Ben. "OK, OK. Tell me your dream
and I'll tell you mine."
 
 With a satisfied smirk, Ben sat back and began to tell Ray his dream. Of
course, he left out any reference to Phil because Ray did not need to know
about that. Besides, he had dreamed of Cat, hadn't he?
 
 When Ben finished his tale, Ray dutifully related his dream, as agreed.
Ben was frowning by the time he had finished.
 
 
 "So, Benny, what's it all about?"
 
 "Ah....Ray....." Ben ran his thumb over his eyebrow and licked his lips,
nervous about how to approach what he needed to tell Ray. "Your dream is
easy to interpret. Anyone with a basic knowledge of symbolism or even
psychology could tell you what this means." He stared pointedly at Ray.
 
 Ray waited a moment for his friend to go on, but when no explanation was
forthcoming he turned to him and said, "So?" He waved his hands in the
air, prompting Ben to continue. "Are you gonna tell me what is so
obvious."
 
 "Well, Ray, you see...um...." Ben stood and paced a little. "You say that
you were on the edge of the waterfall in Montana where you first met, um,
where you first met Casey." 
 
 Ray nodded. 
 
 "You heard Casey call you, but the rats kept you from getting to her." 
 
 Ray nodded again. 
 
 "Well, rats represent exhaustive, obsessive ideas, disappointment and
hidden worries that gnaw away at vital energies which, and I'm not saying
this is correct, but it could be how you feel about what happened with
Casey." 
 
 Ray didn't respond, other than to turn his head and look out the window.
This was not what he wanted to hear.
 
 Ben continued. "Then there are the bees. You see, Ray, bees are
recognised as a symbol of Christian forgiveness and to me it seems that
Casey is offering you the forgiveness that you so far have refused
yourself." 
 
 Ray whipped his head around to stare at his friend open-mouthed. Was
there anything Fraser didn't know?
 
 "Then the rats, your obsessive inability to forgive yourself, carried you
away from Casey and the fact that she forgives you. It seems to me that
you are perched on the edge of a major change in your life and your fears
are keeping you away from true happiness." A thought hit Ben in the pit of
his stomach – it seemed he was describing his own life as well. 
 
 Ray seemed to subconsciously have realised the same thing. "Sounds to me
like you're talking about your life, not mine, Fraser." 
 
 He remembered how both Fraser and Cat had mentioned a woman in his past
he regretted breaking up with. But he knew there was no point raising that
issue again. 
 
 "So anyway, Mr Know-It-All-Mountie, if you're so good at interpreting my
dream, then what about yours? You're not getting out of it that easily."
 
 Ben blushed a pale pink. Ray was right and he had agreed. "Well, yes,
Ray. I can interpret my dream. Would you be interested in hearing?" For
some reason he really wanted to discuss it with Ray.
 
 "Yes!" Ray snapped, eager for some distraction from the discomforting
words Ben had spoken.
 
 Ben tugged at the collar of his shirt, feeling slightly warm. "Well, Ray,
it's really very simple."
 
 "Just tell me, Benny."
 
 "Yes. Yes, of course." Ben swallowed nervously. "I was running towards
something. Something called out to me. Then I got to the edge of the cliff
and realised that I was running toward a warm wind. That wind offered me
comfort and fulfilment, should I choose to step over the edge and let it
claim me. The thing that stopped me was the snake and snakes are a Chinese
symbol of the unconscious where all the hidden and misunderstood things
lay, along with the hidden possibilities. The gargoyle with .....with, um,
with Victoria's face...."
 
 "Victoria's face?" Ray asked. "You neglected to mention that the first
time, Fraser."
 
 "Ah, yes....I guess I did." He inspected his hands for a moment. "I think
that speaks for itself," he said in a whisper.
 
 "You got that right, Benny."
 
 Ben glared at his friend and continued. "A voice was calling to me...."
he hesitated. This was another part of the dream he had left out when he
told Ray about it earlier. "All I had to do was jump over the edge and the
voice would save me. The voice belonged to Cat." 
 
 He turned away and sat on the window ledge to avoid Ray's stare – it made
him uncomfortable – it was the same stare Diefenbaker had given him the
night before.
 
 "So what are you saying?"
 
 "Well, what this means is that only my fears, my past, have stopped me
claiming fulfilment. I realise now that I can only get that with
.....with...." he took a deep breath and sighed out his last words in a
whisper. "With Cat." 
 
 He closed his eyes so Ray could not see his lie. He knew that it wasn't
Cat who called to him. It was Phil. 
 
 Ray got to his feet. "Wait, Benny. What are you saying? Are you saying
you still have feelings for Cat?"
 
 "Of course I have feelings for Cat." Ben rolled his eyes. "I think the
dream is telling me that. I think it is telling me I need to reclaim Cat's
love to reach that fulfilment."
 
 "Whoa, Benny," Ray scratched his head. "Where on earth did that come
from? I mean, only last night you told me that you and Cat had a bond, but
it's not that sort of bond." He hesitated. "Wait. Is this because of what
happened between Cat and me? Are you jealous?"
 
 Ben shook his head. "No. No. I'm not jealous. I'm merely telling you what
my dream appears to mean."
 
 Ray sat down at his camera again. This didn't feel right. Something
didn't ring true with what his friend told him. But what was there to lie
about?
 
 "So what are you gonna do about it? I mean about what your dream tells
you?"
 
 "I guess I need to think about that. I need to .... to process."
 
 "Process? You don't process, you never process, you don't need to
process. You know everything."
 
 Ben considered his friend's assertion before responding. "This time, Ray,
I think I need to process." His tone made it clear that the matter was
closed. 
 
 The subject of dreams was not raised again that night. For his part, Ben
was aware that something nagged at him, but he refused to admit that it
had anything to do with his neglecting to admit that it was Phil who
called to him in his dream. He wouldn't even entertain the thought that
only Phil could offer him fulfilment. No, Phil was long since lost to him.
His only chance for love was with Cat. He turned his attention to the
street below.
 
 A small red vehicle made its way along the street, the driver seemingly
searching for a parking space. All talk of dreams and what they meant was
now forgotten. Ben's voice held a note of excitement as he spoke.
 
 "Ray, Ray, a red Corvair is parking now."
 
 All talk of dreams suddenly forgotten, Ray peered through the camera and
made sure he had focus on a shot of the doorway of the video store and its
interior. Ben signalled when the man was out of his car and moving in the
direction of the video store. "Which way's he coming, Benny?"
 
 "Your left, Ray. Should be in your line of sight in about 3 seconds."
 
 "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Come to papa," Ray chanted, bouncing his leg
impatiently. "Got him!" he cried, as the man entered the video store. For
several seconds the only sound in the room was the camera's motor drive as
Ray snapped off numerous shots. 
 
 "OK, now he's going to the counter – he's handing over a video – Howard's
handing him another one. They're laughing. Christ! I wish I could hear
what they were saying." He fell silent again. "You're mine, asshole," Ray
snarled as he continued to photograph the man leaving the store. 
 
 As Reith walked down the street towards his vehicle, Ray sat back and
scratched his head, not feeling as satisfied as he wanted to.
 
 "Good work, Ray," Ben said, patting his friend on the shoulder. "At least
you can get Reith off the streets, even if you can't charge him with the
murders."
 
 Ray frowned. "But why does he drive across town to rent videos, when
there must be half a dozen stores in walking distance of his apartment?"
 
 Ben shrugged. "Maybe he wants to support his friend. After all, Howard's
not been out of prison long himself and it seems he is trying to set
himself up in legitimate business."
 
 "Howard and Reith legit? You gotta be kidding me, Benny." Ray got to his
feet and began disassembling the equipment. "No, something fishy is going
on here."
 
 The two men worked in silence for several minutes, packing gear into
cases and preparing to leave. As they were about to leave Ray suddenly
turned to Ben.
 
 "Reith walked straight up to the counter and handed Howard his return
video, then Howard pulled another one from under the counter and handed it
to Reith. He didn't even look on the shelves. Now how did Howard know what
he wanted?"
 
 "Perhaps Reith had already ordered the video. Maybe it was an art film or
something rare that had to be ordered specially."
 
 "Reith? Art film? No way, Fraser. This is the sort of guy who thinks Van
Damme is an actor. There's more to this. I think they're dealing again."
 
 A brief flash of excitement shot through Ray's body. So this was the
reason for the feeling he carried all day, the feeling that something was
about to happen. He was finally going to get Howard and Reith for more
than breach of parole conditions. He turned to Ben, his eyes flashing with
excitement.
 
 "Let's get back to the station, Fraser. We've got some planning to do."
 
 Adrenalin rushed through Ben. He thought the excitement he had felt all
day was because of his decision to renew his relationship with Cat, the
excitement of standing on the edge of a new beginning. But this was
something different. Maybe this was what it was all about.
 
 
 
 Cat and Casey trod the snow-covered path back to their cabins in
companionable silence. Cat's second night and second evening meal with the
Hopes had proved to be more fun than the first. Joseph had many stories to
tell and enjoyed the extra audience member. Once again, Cat sent a silent
thanks to Ray. 
 
 When they reached the clearing that separated their cabins, Casey turned
to Cat and smiled.
 
 "Could I tempt you with a glass of brandy by the fire?"
 
 A grin split Cat's face. "That's the best offer I've had in ages."
 
 Casey laughed and led the other woman into her cabin. Her home.
 
 
 When they were settled in front of the fire, boots off and toes warmed,
Casey poured the promised brandy and handed a glass to Cat. There was
silence as both women sipped at their drinks and stared into the dancing
flames. Casey sighed and tilted her face towards Cat, as if inspecting
her.
 
 "You know, Cathy, it's really nice to have you here. I sometimes feel a
bit isolated."
 
 "Isolated? I thought that's why you lived here? You know, the solitude."
 
 "Well, yes. I'm a writer, so it does help. What I mean is it's just nice
to have someone around who doesn't treat me like I'm made of glass."
 
 Cat frowned wondering why anyone could treat this headstrong woman like
that. Then she remembered that Ray had told her some bad things had
happened to the woman he was in love with. This was the confirmation she
needed. Casey was definitely that woman. 
 
 But something else tugged at her mind. Hadn't someone mentioned knowing a
writer recently? She dismissed the thought. Her memory wasn't what it used
to be. After a momentary hesitation, she asked, "A writer? What do you
write?"
 
 "Romance novels." Casey checked to see if Cat was laughing and when she
wasn't she said, "You know, you're the first person in ages who hasn't
said something like 'you write that crap' or 'no-one reads that shit'."
 
 Cat laughed. "People say that?"
 
 "Yeah, they do." She stared back at the fire. "Ray said some pretty awful
things about my books when we first met."
 
 "Ray? I wouldn't have thought he read romance novels."
 
 "He doesn't. Plus, he didn't know they were my books at the time."
 
 Cat threw back her head and laughed. "I bet he was mighty embarrassed
when he found out."
 
 "You could say that." 
 
 Cat's curiousity was roused. Casey spoke fondly of Ray and she wanted to
know more. 
 
 "Casey?" 
 
 The other woman turned her gaze to meet Cat's and for a moment she
hesitated. This was the second time she thought Casey's eyes reminded her
of someone. But who? A tingle ran up her spine. There was something
strange going on and Cat couldn't tell what it was. Maybe she would just
ask. 
 
 "Was there something between you and Ray?"
 
 The woman with the storm-grey eyes took a deep breath, held it until Cat
was sure she would burst, and then let it out in a noisy exhalation.
 
 "Actually, Cathy, that's the reason I invited you in here tonight. I
wanted to ask you some questions, but you can't tell me what I want to
know unless I tell you about me and Ray."
 
 Cat's heart leapt with excitement. So this is what she had been feeling
the past few days. She was about to help Casey and Ray get off to a new
start. As Cat listened to Casey tell her story, her excitement grew. All
of Ray's comments made sense now. Yes this was something she could help
with. This was why she had come to the Edge of the Earth.
 
 
 
 "Well, let this day go down in history," Lieutenant Welsh quipped as he
crossed the bullpen to his office, a bag of doughnuts in one hand and a
cafι latte in the other. "Detective Vecchio is not only on time, but he is
early."
 
 Ray sneered from his place at his desk and continued with the diagram he
was sketching onto a notepad. He had more important things to think about
today. If his hunch was right, Reith and Howard were up to much more than
just video rental. Now, if he could just work out a way to place three men
and a sound recording device, he would have a plan. Then all he had to do
was convince Welsh.
 
 He was excited. It had been a long time since Ray had a case this
satisfying – not since he tracked the creep who had kidnapped Casey.
Silently, he cursed. He was doing it again. Everything he did or thought
finally found its way to Casey. 
 
 Tossing his pencil down on the desk, Ray leaned forward and rubbed his
hands over his face. He remembered the things Fraser had told him about
his dream. He sneered once more. It was all crap, anyway. He ran his eyes
appreciatively over the diagram on his notepad. This was what the dream
had been about. His subconscious had told him what to look for. After all,
Fraser had told him that rats represented ideas that gnaw away at you.
Well, Reith had gnawed away at him for months now. 
 
 Yes, this feeling, this anticipation, had nothing to with Casey. It was
all about getting Reith. It was what propelled him into Welsh's office
with his plan and his diagram.
 
 
 
 Against all advice and her own better judgement, Phil struggled into the
elevator and down to the BakTrak office. She was grateful that she had the
foresight to live in the same building that also housed her business. It
made getting to work a lot easier. She wasn't going to let her swollen and
bruised ankle stop her from getting to work on the Team Building package
Jeff had negotiated with Sandburg and Black the day before. 
 
 She smiled to herself. Jeff had been right. He could handle the meeting
without her. Although Sandburg and Black had some specific additions they
wished to make to the package, he still managed to get them to sign a
two-year deal. Things were looking good for BakTrak. If things kept going
like this, they would soon need to hire more staff.
 
 Jeff was at another meeting with Sandburg and Black when Phil arrived,
working on customising their Team Building Package. Mark was at his desk.
After a bit of teasing about how Phil managed to injure herself again, he
helped her to her office and made her coffee. 
 
 He didn't even bother trying to tell her she need not have come
downstairs. She never listened anyway. He could see why she and Cathy
Madden got on so well. They were definitely the two most stubborn women he
had ever met. He smiled. He was equally fond of both women. And
protective. That's why he was a little circumspect when he took a call for
Phil a couple of hours later.
 
 
 "Phil, there's a Martin Stevenson on the phone for you," Mark said,
peering around the doorframe of her office. "Do you want to speak to him?"
 
 Phil blushed. "Oh. Oh, um, yes, um, he's the doctor who treated me
yesterday," she stammered, by way of explanation. So TJ wasn't kidding
when he said he'd given the doctor her number. "I guess he's checking to
see how I am." It didn't sound convincing to her own ears, much less
Mark's.
 
 "I'll put him through," Mark said, wondering why talking to her doctor
could rattle Phil so.
 
 
 "Philippe McKenzie," she said in her best business-like voice when she
answered the phone a few seconds later. It startled her that the mere
thought of talking to the handsome doctor could unnerve her. She was a
businesswoman, she never got nervous speaking to men.
 
 "Hello, Phil, this is Martin Stevenson."
 
 "Hello, Dr Stevenson," she replied, praying that her voice would not
betray her nervousness. 
 
 "Martin, please. Your brother gave me your number. I hope you don't
mind?"
 
 "No, ah, no. What can I do for you....Martin?"
 
 "Well besides checking on how your ankle is, I was hoping you might be
free to have dinner with me tonight?"
 
 "Tonight?" Phil cast her eyes down and looked at her foot propped on a
cushion. How could she go on a date on crutches? What sort of impression
would that make? How could she possibly accept? "Ah, Dr.....Martin,
I......it's....you see....." Phil broke off, wondering exactly when the
power of speech had left her.
 
 "If you're worried about your ankle, Phil, don't be. I'm not talking
about dancing, just dinner. Besides, remember, I'm a doctor."
 
 Phil laughed, in control again now. "Yes, that's right, you're a doctor.
Isn't there a rule about doctors dating patients?"
 
 Martin laughed, a sound that Phil found deeply comforting. "Well, yes,
there is, but you see, Phil, I've already thought about that. You were my
patient yesterday. Today, luckily for me, you are not...." His cool,
efficient reasoning reminded Phil of another man, another time – another
love.
 
 Phil laughed, suddenly relaxed. "In that case, I would enjoy having
dinner with you."
 
 They made the necessary arrangements and when Phil hung up the phone a
few minutes later she was smiling from ear to ear. She was very much
looking forward to seeing Dr Martin Stevenson again. It had been a long
time since she looked forward to a date this much. It was a long time
since a man this handsome had asked her out. She thought about the things
that TJ had told her about her dream – maybe he was right. Phil chuckled
out loud – it was a long time since she had considered acting on the
feelings that she kept hidden from the rest of the world. Twelve years, in
fact.
 
 
 
 It was a bitterly cold morning in Montana. Cat slept in following her
late night with Casey. After Casey had revealed the truth about what
happened between her and Ray, they had had a lot of questions for each
other. Cat had left Casey's cabin feeling strangely satisfied, despite her
anger about Casey's attack and her concern for Ray's self-imposed
estrangement. She knew without doubt that she could work on getting Casey
and Ray back together – they were still in love and they had both told her
so. This was going to be easy – much easier than dealing with Ben and
Phil.
 
 It was a rare luxury for her to lounge in bed so late, but the
opportunity to get lost in one of Casey's romances was too tempting, so
that's exactly what Cat did. She heard Joseph's helicopter about 11am and
remembered how Casey had told her the night before that her son, Trevor,
would be returning today. She looked forward to meeting him at dinner that
night.
 
 After reading for a few hours, Cat's restless spirit got the better of
her. Ben had told her about the beauty of the area and, despite the cold
and the thick layer of snow covering everything, Cat was keen to do some
exploring. It was as though something pulled at her. She dressed in
several layers, from thermals through to down-filled parka and made her
way outside. When she first arrived at Edge of the Earth, Joseph told her
there were canoes by the river and she headed in the direction he pointed
out to her several days earlier.
 
 
 The canoe rocked slightly as it took the full force of Cat's weight. She
sat down quickly and balanced herself. Taking up the paddle she manoeuvred
the craft into the middle of the river with practised strokes. Quickly she
established a steady rhythm, working her arms at a slow, comfortable pace.
Drawn by instinct, she guided the canoe upstream, keeping a comfortable
distance from the shore. 
 
 The swish of the paddle through the water became almost meditative. Cat
relaxed and let the worries of the last few months slip away from her, to
be replaced by a calm like none she had ever known. For the moment there
was nothing for her to think about. She kept paddling, expertly swinging
the canoe around the many bends in the river. She wasn't sure how long she
travelled. 
 
 Some time later, a flash of movement on one side of the river caught her
eye and she stopped, wondering what it was. The flash and glint of the sun
on the water dazzled her momentarily and it took a while for Cat to focus
on the source of the movement. A man stood on the bank of the river, not
two hundred metres away. From the colour of his skin and the long, black
hair flowing down his back, Cat knew him to be Native American, maybe
Blackfoot or Cree, given their location. He stood with his face raised to
the sun. His eyes were closed and he wore a look of contentment. 
 
 A tingle of excitement ran up Cat's spine. Her experience with her Cree
friends had taught Cat the importance of ritual and she sensed this man
was there to perform some such rite. Not wanting to disturb him, she laid
her paddle across the canoe and let it drift. When she came near a large
rock, she reached out and grabbed it, pulling the canoe around. She
continued to watch the man, who was still unaware of her presence. While
Cat watched, he removed his jacket and shirt and bared his chest to the
warmth of the sun. 
 
 She was transfixed. Cat thought it was the most beautiful and moving
sight she had ever seen. He removed his boots and socks and balanced them
on a rock. In one, swift movement he undid his jeans and slid them off his
legs with his underwear, kicking them to one side. Cat sucked in a breath
and held it. She couldn't move. The man raised his hands over his head and
took a running jump into the water, shouting out as he did. 
 
 Cat let out her breath as he disappeared under the water. She sat
unmoving, with her heart pounding, waiting for him to resurface. A moment
later he reappeared, shouting again as he broke the surface of the river.
One arm appeared above the water, curving in a graceful arc as he swam
back to the shore. Cat still watched, seeing every detail as if it were in
slow motion.
 
 He stood naked and dripping on the snow-covered bank. Cat ran her eyes
over every inch of his body, feeling a strange familiarity, followed by a
hot flush of desire. Just as she began to feel cold for him, the man
gathered up his clothes and disappeared into the woods, leaving Cat alone.

 
 Emptiness settled over her. She suddenly felt vulnerable and silly
sitting in the middle of the river feeling desire for someone she wasn't
even sure she could recognise again. With shaking hands, she dipped her
paddle into the water and turned the canoe around.
 
 The sky was growing dark by the time Cat pulled the canoe out of the
water. She was cold and achy, but the tingle she felt when she saw the man
on the riverbank still played up and down her spine. As she made her way
up the track that led to her cabin, Cat had a strange feeling that
something was about to happen. That pleased her. Her sixth sense had been
absent lately. 
 
 
 
 A panicked and red-faced Benton Fraser rushed through the 27th Precinct
to the bullpen with Diefenbaker in tow. Stopping momentarily at the door
to greet Elaine and to brush the snow from his shoulders, Ben used the
time to compose himself before crossing the room to where Ray, Lieutenant
Welsh, and Detectives Huey and Black were gathered. The men looked up from
their inspection of Ray's plan as he approached.
 
 "Fraser, where the hell have you been?" Ray snapped. "You're late."
 
 Ben took the stetson from his head and held it in his hands, as if
inspecting it carefully. "Ah, your sister....." He took a deep breath and
looked up at Ray. "Your sister came by the Consulate again just as I was
preparing to leave."
 
 Ray rolled his eyes and muttered a curse in Italian. "You gotta learn to
handle her, Fraser."
 
 Ben looked at his hands again, embarrassed. "I, ah, I think that......I
think I have.......discouraged her now."
 
 Welsh stepped in, aware of the Mountie's acute embarrassment. "I thought
your family wasn't coming back for another week, Vecchio?"
 
 Ray rolled his eyes again. "Me too. But Frannie decided to come home
early when Ma spilled the beans about Ca....about Sergeant Madden leaving
early. She thought she'd have a better chance at it." He indicated Ben
with a nod of his head.
 
 The rest of the men looked at Ben sympathetically. They had all witnessed
how Francesca Vecchio preyed on the Mountie.
 
 Ben cleared his throat, more embarrassed by the sudden silence.
Indicating the plan on the desk, he said, "Ah, perhaps we should......"
 
 
 An hour later Ray and Ben and the men of the 27th Precinct were in their
positions. Ray and Huey sat parked across the road from Howard's video
store. Detective Black was positioned at the end of the street, close to
where Reith had parked on previous evenings. Fraser was in the same hotel
room where he and Ray had spent the previous evening, with the same
high-powered camera. This time he also monitored the sound-recording
equipment that was linked to the mike each of the detectives wore.
 
 "You see anything, Fraser?" Ray's voice spilled from the pads resting on
Ben's ears.
 
 "Not yet, Ray," he replied into the hot mike.
 
 "Black?"
 
 "Nothing."
 
 Ben settled himself into a comfortable position behind the camera. He
drew a lungful of air and held it, releasing it slowly, finally relaxing.
His evening had been busy so far, hindered by his late arrival at the
Precinct. This was the first opportunity he had to relax since his
encounter with Francesca. Frowning, he remembered the hurt look on her
face. He didn't like hurting her, but the words had come before he could
think. He had said the words, so it must be the right thing. Detective
Black's voice in his ear startled him out of his reverie. 
 
 "Reith's Corvair is coming towards me. OK, he's parking about 100 yards
from me."
 
 Ben peered through the camera, sliding the focus ring until he had a
clear shot of Huey leaving Ray's car and crossing the street to the video
store. When Reith entered the store a few minutes later, Huey was
inspecting the racks of videocassettes, looking just like any other
customer.
 
 Reith approached the counter, smiling at the man sitting there. "Hello,
John."
 
 "Peter, hi. Good to see you." Reaching under the counter, he pulled out a
video and placed it purposefully on the counter-top, one hand resting on
its face. "I've got just what you want."
 
 "Good," Reith replied, then reached into a bag slung over his shoulder.
"And I have my return." He pulled a video from its depths and placed it on
the counter beside Howard's.
 
 Huey smiled as he listened to the exchange and pulled a video from the
rack. He approached the two men, clutching the video firmly in both hands.

 
 "Be with you in a minute," Howard said, angling his body so his back was
to Huey. Howard and Reith looked at him briefly, then returned their
attention to video cases on the counter between them.
 
 Slapping his video onto the counter and sliding it into their line of
vision, Huey said, "I have something that you might like better."
 
 Howard and Reith looked at Huey in surprise, then back at the video
between them that he tapped with one long finger. It was 'Trying to Get
Arrested', a black and white silent film of which Huey was fond.
 
 "What the fuck...." Howard said as both men's heads snapped up to look at
the Detective.
 
 Huey pulled his badge from his pocket. "Chicago PD. Peter Reith, I am
arresting you for breach of parole conditions. You have the right to
remain silent......"
 
 Reith cut him off. "You can't do this. You can't arrest me for this."
 
 Ray chose that precise moment to burst through the doors, his dark grey
overcoat billowing behind him, making him look as menacing as he felt.
 
 "Section 19 of your parole conditions says I can," he snarled coming to a
halt immediately in front of Reith. With a smug grin, he pulled his
handcuffs from his belt and slapped them onto Reith's wrists, harshly
spinning the man around in the process. "But let's take a look in these
video cases and see if we can get you for something else at the same
time." He spun Reith around again so they stood eye to eye. "You know how
it is, Reith, budget cuts and all. Let's see if we can save the city the
cost of an extra court case and do this all in one. Nothing personal, you
understand."
 
 Reith made no attempt to hide his loathing. "You bastard, Vecchio."
 
 Ray ignored him and turned his attention to the video cases on the
counter. "Very amusing choice of titles, gentlemen. White Sands? Love that
movie. Always did like Samuel L Jackson." He addressed Howard for the
first time. "Now let's see what's inside." As he opened the plastic case,
dozens of small plastic packs of white powder spilled out onto the
counter, falling over Huey's video. Ray noticed the title and laughed,
then looked up, addressing the other detective, "Nice work, Huey. Now
let's take a look at Reith's selection." Picking up the case, he turned it
over in his hand. "The Colour of Money. A bit obvious, don't you think?"
 
 "It's not mine," Reith insisted.
 
 "Nice try, Reith, but do you think I'm that stupid? Forensics will find
this is covered with your prints. If not, do you see that window?" He
turned and indicated the hotel across the road. "The cop up there has
pictures of you taking this from your bag and putting it on the counter."
He grinned. "I think I'll take a look inside now." As expected, several
rolls of large denomination bills fell out. Ray indicated that Huey should
cuff Howard as well. He smiled broadly at both men. "You two have really
made my day, but I think your choice of movies really sucks. Allow me...."
 
 Slowly and deliberately Ray strolled across the store. He knew what he
was looking for. Locating his selection, he snatched it from the rack and
strode across the room. Slapping it onto the counter with a flourish, he
said, "A little porn flick I saw one time." Howard, Reith and Huey all
looked at the title – Busted.
 
 Huey laughed loudly and appreciatively. "Nice work, Vecchio."
 
 Ray was unsmiling now. "Read them their rights and then get these
assholes down to the station. Get a forensics team down here. I wanna tear
this place apart."
 
 
 
 After a long, steaming hot shower, Cat dressed in soft black woollen
leggings and a sweater, then pulled on her coat and boots. There was a
definite spring in her step as she trod the snow-covered path to the main
house.
 
 When Cat stepped into the Hope's warm and welcoming kitchen Emily greeted
her with flushed cheeks.
 
 "I'm afraid dinner is a little late tonight, Cathy. Our son arrived this
morning and we've been talking all afternoon. You know how time gets
away."
 
 Cat jumped, as though someone had poked her, though she wasn't sure why.
"Oh, I misunderstood. I thought it was Casey's son who was arriving
today."
 
 "Oh yes, Trevor came home this morning. When Joseph went to collect him,
Lloyd was there as well. He and Trevor arranged it. I'm afraid you won't
get to meet Trevor tonight though, Casey's keeping him to herself. They
won't be joining us."
 
 Just then, Joseph strode into the room. "I thought I heard your voice,
Cathy. Come and meet our son. He surprised us. He was at the airport when
I went to collect Trevor."
 
 Before she could say anything, Joseph herded Cat into the living room,
anxious to introduce the pair.
 
 "Here she is, Son," he announced as they entered the room.
 
 Cat's heart stopped. A dark skinned man got to his feet and approached
her with his hand outstretched. He was dressed in worn jeans and a flannel
shirt of the kind that until now she had thought only looked good on Ben
Fraser and TJ McKenzie. His long hair was pulled into a braid that fell
almost to his waist and he wore decidedly more clothing than when Cat had
last seen him, but there could be no mistake. He was the man from the
river. He smiled at her.
 
 "I'm Lloyd Hope," he said in a deep voice that seemed somehow both
comforting and exciting.
 
 "Cathy Madden," she replied, taking his extended hand.
 
 Time seemed to compress into that one moment and the only thing Cat was
aware of was the warmth of Lloyd's hand in hers. She knew, without
question, that she was looking into the eyes of her soul mate.
 
 As if from a distance, Cat heard Joseph offer her a glass of wine and her
own voice accept. Without knowing how she got there, Cat found herself
seated on a sofa by the fire, sipping at her wine and exchanging stories
with Lloyd.
 
 She wasn't sure how she made it through dinner, or how she got back to
her cabin that night
 
 
 
 Phil didn't normally ask her dates up to her apartment the first time.
This time, though, she really wanted Martin Stevenson to come up. And,
anyway, it was hard to balance on crutches and open the door at the same
time. 
 
 But she wouldn't let him help with the hot chocolate. Phil left Martin in
the living room whilst she busied herself in the kitchen, using the time
to compose herself. She felt almost like a schoolgirl. The evening had
been wonderful – more wonderful than Phil could ever have hoped for. The
restaurant was perfect, the meal delicious – she had even accepted a glass
of wine – and Martin, well, he was perfect, too. He was funny, clever,
chivalrous, oh and it didn't hurt that he was good to look at as well. She
tried not to think about what TJ had told her about her dream of two
nights ago, but it certainly seemed that her big brother was right. But
why did it make her so darned nervous? Was it because his grace and good
looks reminded her of another? No. Definitely not. Phil stuck her head
around the doorway to call for assistance when it came time to carry the
tray.
 
 Martin carried the tray and set it on the coffee table. He handed Phil
her mug and then they both settled back against the cushions of the sofa.
 
 "I was just admiring your pictures, Phil," he said, gesturing towards the
piano.
 
 She smiled crookedly. "Yes, there are rather a lot now."
 
 "Family?" Martin asked, sipping at his drink.
 
 "Friends. Family. I can't help myself." She wondered for a moment if he
noticed the picture of Lindy. He had seen her medical chart, but how far
back did he look? Did Martin know about her daughter? 
 
 "It's much nicer to have them on show than stuck in a drawer or on a
bookshelf." 
 
 It seemed his timing was perfect as well, snapping Phil out of the
melancholy that for a moment threatened to overwhelm her. She rewarded him
with a glowing smile.
 
 "Yes. Yes, it is. Actually, I was thinking of moving them." Phil leaned a
little closer, although she would have denied it if pressed. "I have a
friend in Canada and she keeps her photographs on the wall running
alongside her stairs. I liked the idea so much that I thought I might
steal it." She pointed across the room to the dining area. "See that short
wall over there? I thought I might put them up there. It would make them
easier to see and it would be interesting for dinner guests because they
would get the time to sit and look over the whole lot." Her voice dropped
to a conspiratorial whisper. "But the best part is, it makes the piano
easier to dust."
 
 Martin threw back his head and roared with laughter. "Oh, Phil, I like
the way you think." He turned his head to the wall Phil had indicated
earlier. "You're right, you know, I think a photo wall would be a great
addition to your dining area. Make it more personalised."
 
 "But it's going to have to wait a while," Phil shrugged and indicated her
ankle. "This is stopping me from doing anything."
 
 Martin leaned a little closer to Phil. "Perhaps it's something I could
help you with? After all, I have a drill and I'm very handy. I built all
the bookshelves in my living room." He stared at Phil, his eyes offering
more than household help.
 
 Something about Martin's gaze made Phil quiver in anticipation. What was
it she saw in his eyes? She couldn't say. She only knew it made her feel
safe – safer than she had felt in a long, long time. She longed for him to
help her with the pictures – she wanted to see him comfortable and
familiar in her apartment. An image popped into her mind – Martin
bare-chested and sweaty as he hammered picture hangers into the plaster.
Where did that come from? Blushing, she smiled at him, accepting more than
the offer of household help. "I'd like that very much." 
 
 
 
 It was 2am when Ray bounced out of the Precinct towards the Riv, followed
by a weary but nonetheless enthusiastic Ben. Six hours of intense
cross-examination of Reith and Howard did nothing to dampen Ray's sheer
joy at knowledge that once again Peter Reith would be behind bars. 
 
 The crime scene investigation unit had turned up more evidence at
Howard's video store. Two pounds of evidence, to be precise. Eventually,
in the hope that it would make Ray forget about the parole violation,
Reith gave up the names of the four men supplying Howard with the drugs he
had purchased. He even blurted out information about another, equally
shady business deal that he and Howard had going. There was still nothing
to link him to the Keating murders, but for now, Ray was satisfied.
 
 Punching the air and laughing out loud, Ray turned to his friend. "I
ain't gonna be able to sleep for hours, Fraser. D'ya wanna come back to my
place and get something to eat?"
 
 "It is rather late, Ray, and....."
 
 Misreading Ben's reluctance, Ray cut him off. "Frannie will be in bed by
now, she won't bother you."
 
 "Oh, Ray, I don't think Francesca will be a problem any more. You see,
I...."
 
 Before Ben could finish, Huey emerged from the Precinct and headed to his
car laughing and shouting his congratulations to Ray as he went. After
laughing and shouting something crude in return, Ray turned back to Ben.
 
 "C'mon, what do you say? I can pull some of Ma's spaghetti sauce out of
the freezer and I've even got Canadian beer."
 
 Ben smiled. Ray's enthusiasm warmed him and he knew he should be there to
share the excitement with his friend. He nodded his acceptance and let Ray
lead him to his Buick Riviera.
 
 
 Half an hour later the two men were seated in the Vecchio kitchen, each
with a plate of steaming pasta in front of them. Ben even accepted a
bottle of Ray's Canadian beer, much to the detective's surprise.
 
 "Thanks for your help tonight, Fraser," Ray said before putting a
substantial forkful of food into his mouth.
 
 "You're welcome, Ray," Ben smiled demurely. "Thank you for preparing this
meal."
 
 "No problem, Benny. I told you Frannie wouldn't bother you."
 
 Ben nodded and looked at his plate. "I don't think she will......um,
bother me....."
 
 Ray swallowed a mostly unchewed mouthful in his haste to find out what
his friend meant. "That's right, you said that before Huey called out to
me. I forgot." He watched as Ben looked further into his plate. "What
exactly do you mean? What happened?"
 
 Ben blushed. "I told you Francesca came to see me at the Consulate this
afternoon." Ray nodded and Ben continued, "I told her that whilst I am
flattered by her, um, attentions, it is a little inappropriate because I
am going to ask Cat to marry me."
 
 Ray choked on the spaghetti he had just put into his mouth. "What!"
 
 "I told her that...."
 
 "I heard you, Fraser. I mean, what are you talking about?" Ray dropped
his fork into his bowl. "Not two days ago, you were telling me that
whatever it is between you two isn't about......about......this ......" He
waved his hands at his friend. "Then last night you were talking about
fulfilment and processing........"
 
 Ben looked up from his food and met Ray's disbelieving eyes. "Are you
jealous, Ray?" he asked coolly.
 
 "No!" he snapped. "Of course not. It's just that I thought....." Ray
stopped. He wasn't going to tell Ben that Cat had told him Ben loved
someone else. He didn't want to tell him that less than a week ago, Cat
had sat at this same table and told him that she and Ben weren't destined
to be together. But he had to tell him something. In an attempt to keep it
light he said, "Well, you know Cat, Benny. I don't think she's the
marrying kind. Ya know what I'm saying?"
 
 Ben regarded the man across the table. He knew exactly what Ray was
saying and he also knew he was right. Cat had already turned him down
once, but things were different now, weren't they? Cat had never shown any
sign of ever getting close enough to any of her lovers to want to marry
them. Was it because she still loved him? Did she regret her earlier
decision? Was she waiting for him to come back to her? It had to be the
answer, nothing else made sense. Ray was wrong and Ben needed to tell him.

 
 "At the risk of sounding patronising, Ray, I must say that I don't think
you are in a position to know what Cat does or doesn't want. I have known
her for a very long time – she has never even come close to marrying
anyone. You said yourself that it is unusual for us to have remained
friends all this time. I can only conclude it is because Cat still loves
me." The lengthy speech came out far more bitterly than he had intended.
Why did he suddenly feel defensive?
 
 Ray was not deterred. With the memory of the pain Victoria caused still
fresh in his mind, Ray was in protective mode. "I just don't want to see
you get your hopes up and then get hurt again."
 
 Ben considered this for a moment. Struck by another thought, he said, "I
think you're just jealous that you can't have Cat for yourself."
Bitterness welled up in him again and he struck where he knew it would
hurt. "Rather greedy, I would say, when you have Casey."
 
 The joy Ray had felt all night left him suddenly. "I don't have Casey,
Fraser," he ground out in a voice suddenly weary and harsh. "I don't have
any one." Ray turned his gaze away, but not before Ben saw the tears in
his eyes.
 
 Ben dropped his head, ashamed at his behaviour. He took a few deep
breaths before speaking. "Forgive me, Ray. That was cruel. I should never
have said anything so hurtful. I'm sorry."
 
 Ray turned his head and smiled at the bowed head across from him. He
reached across the table and laid a hand on Ben's wrist. "I hope you and
Cat are very happy together." He meant it, too. If Cat and Ben were meant
to be together, it was fine by him. But he didn't believe it for a moment
and he suspected the Mountie was trying too hard to convince him. But time
would tell.
 
 
 
 The next morning Cat rose early, feeling more alive than she had in a
goodly long time. Padding barefoot into the small kitchen she made a pot
of coffee and then showered, knowing that Lloyd would arrive before too
long. The night before he had promised to take her exploring in the woods
to show her some of his favourite places. She was looking forward to the
chance to spend the day alone with Lloyd. They had a lot to say to each
other. 
 
 Cat smiled as she heard Lloyd's footsteps on the snow-covered verandah.
She almost felt that she was following a script, everything seemed second
nature to her. She opened the door before he even knocked.
 
 "Morning, Cathy," Lloyd smiled at her, his dark eyes seeing into her
soul.
 
 "Morning," she replied, stepping aside so he could come inside. "I've
made coffee."
 
 If Lloyd was surprised when Cat handed him his coffee, he didn't show it.
It seemed that he understood that she would know he liked his coffee black
and in a cup, not a mug.
 
 
 Cat followed Lloyd along the trail, admiring the practised ease with
which he moved. He was completely at home in this environment, seeming to
know every rock, tree, and bush. Cat remembered a time many years earlier
when she had followed a young Benton Fraser into the forest, admiring his
ability in a similar environment. It made her smile. Ben and Lloyd would
get along just fine. The thought almost made her laugh out loud. Already
she was thinking ahead to introducing Lloyd to the important people in her
life.
 
 "Almost there, Cathy," Lloyd called over his shoulder to her, startling
her out of her reverie. He disappeared behind a bush and Cat hurried to
catch up to him.
 
 When she did, she found Lloyd leaning casually against a snow-covered
rock waiting for her. He greeted her with a smile that sent hot shivers
down her spine.
 
 "This is my special place," he said, indicating the view behind him with
a nod of his head.
 
 Cat followed his gaze. They stood not too far from the river. It took Cat
only a minute to recognise their location. It was the spot where she had
first seen Lloyd the day before. It took another second to locate the rock
where she had rested and observed Lloyd as he plunged into the icy water.
From this vantage it seemed very different than it had from the river and
Cat could understand why Lloyd liked it so. It had an energy that excited
her.
 
 "It's lovely," the words came out in a whisper. "It feels....special."
 
 Lloyd smiled and moved closer. "It is. I don't bring many people here. I
mean, I don't share this..." he indicated the river again, "like this...."
He pulled Cat into his arms and held her against his chest. 
 
 t was true. The only other woman he had shared this with was Phil
McKenzie. She, too, was special. But even then he knew he and Phil weren't
soul mates. He told Phil that one day they would each meet their life
partner, the person who would complete their souls. But nothing had
prepared him for the impact it would have on him. Nothing could prepare
him for the emotions he felt finally being in his special place with his
soul mate in his arms. 
 
 "It's too important to waste on people who don't understand the magic,"
he said, gazing at the river over the top of Cat's head. 
 
 Cat settled against his chest like she belonged there, feeling the rumble
of his words through her body – through her soul. 
 
 "I saw you yesterday," she said eventually.
 
 "You saw me?" 
 
 Cat pulled back and looked up at him. "Yes, I saw you. I was paddling on
the river."
 
 Lloyd smiled, his expression one of faint amusement. "Ah, now you know my
secret." He brought his hands up and slid them into Cat's hair, cradling
her head in his hands. There was no hesitation in his touch. 
 
 "I have always felt I was never home until I came here and jumped into
the river. It's as if it washes away the things in my life I don't need.
But now, being here with you – like this – it's so much more....." Moving
as if in slow motion, Lloyd brought his lips down to meet Cat's.
 
 The first touch of his lips sent a jolt through Cat and she whimpered
softly. The kiss was gentle and tender, but it touched Cat to the depth of
her soul. Her life would never be the same again. 
 
 "This," Lloyd breathed into Cat's hair when the kissed ended, "this is
coming home." Then he kissed her again. 
 
 Since the previous night when he had set eyes on Cathy Madden for the
first time, Lloyd had thought of little else. All night he lay in his bed,
longing for morning when he could again see her – when they could make
their plans. Their was no question in his mind, he knew Cathy had felt it,
too.
 
 "I want to know your story, Cathy Madden," Lloyd said a little later. "I
want to hear what you've been doing since last we met." He leaned back so
that he could look into Cat's eyes. "Tell me what this lifetime has held
for you."
 
 But for the moment Cat was unable to speak. Her mind was too full of
images – memories from other lives, other times and she knew what Lloyd
implied to be true – they had been together before. From the very depths
of her mind came a song that she used to sing to Ben, a Van Morrison song
that she hadn't thought about in fifteen years. The words rang in her
head, 'I said with my eyes that I recognised your chin. It was my long
lost friend to help me from another lifetime. We took each other's hands
and cried like a river when we said hello.'
 
 Tears sprung to Cat's eyes and she buried her face against Lloyd's chest
again, not wanting him to see. But Lloyd understood and he brought his
arms up to hold her safely against him, while she remembered the things
she needed to. More of the same song played in her mind. 'We've been
together before in a different incarnation. And we loved each other then
as well....'
 
 "Oh god...." Cat mumbled into Lloyd's chest.
 
 "It's OK, Cathy, just let it happen." Lloyd's voice was calming and made
Cat feel safe.
 
 Cat remembered Calvin Sunsinger's words of nearly twenty years ago, "You
have a red heart, Cathy. You'll come back to your Cree home when the time
is right." She hadn't fully understood the old man's words then, but now,
standing ankle deep in snow in the arms of Lloyd Hope it all made sense. 
 
 So too, did the words she had instinctively told Ben many years ago, "I
am not your soul mate, Ben." Back then she had been more concerned about
making sure Ben found his soul mate that she never gave thought to finding
her own. Like she had told Ben all that time ago, "There will be someone
who can give you what I can't, what I don't even know you need." Now it
seemed that Cat, too, had found what she didn't know she had been missing.
 
 
 
 The midmorning sun was warm on Ray's back as he enjoyed his first
espresso of the day. He sighed with pleasure and sipped at the fragrant
brew he had just made. Seated in the unusually silent kitchen of the
Vecchio home, with the newspaper propped up on the table in front of him,
he once again relived his glory of the night before. 
 
 Howard and Reith had given up a lot of information, enough to help bring
down some of the biggest dealers in Chicago. For once he was going to
enjoy going to work, even if he did have to face a mountain of paperwork.
No, nothing could ruin this day for Ray.
 
 That is, until Francesca appeared in the kitchen doorway in her pyjamas,
no trace of make up and her hair as yet unbrushed. With a disgruntled sigh
she flopped onto a chair opposite her brother and rested her chin in her
hands.
 
 "What?" Ray asked, nudging her elbows off the table so he could spread
the paper out further.
 
 "Is it true?" Frannie asked in a flat voice.
 
 "Is what true?" Ray returned his attention to the newspaper.
 
 "About Fraser."
 
 "What about Fraser?" 
 
 "Is he going to marry her, the Mountie – Mountess whatever she calls
herself?"
 
 Ray looked up. In his surprise at Ben's revelation the previous night, he
had forgotten that Fraser had told Francesca about it first. 
 
 "Well, if he said it, Frannie, it must be true. You know that Mounties
never lie. They can't, it's not in their genes."
 
 Frannie sat back, shocked and pointed an angry finger at him. "My heart
is breaking here and you're making fun of me." She flew to her feet and
stomped around the kitchen. "What does he see in her? She's not even
pretty. And, and .... she lives in Canada......and what about her hair?
She doesn't style her hair!"
 
 Ray sat back in his chair and folded his arms, watching his sister's
display. "Not everyone's life is organised around their beauty
appointments, Frannie."
 
 But Frannie was not to be deterred. "But she's a bitch! Even you said
so!" She threw herself into a chair again. "You've got to talk to him,
Ray. You've got to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life."
 
 Ray leaned across the table and smiled at his sister. "I will not talk to
him about it. It's none of my business." He snatched the paper from under
his sister's arm. "Or yours."
 
 Frannie pulled a face and got up to make herself some breakfast. Ray
returned his attention to the morning paper, watching his sister with one
eye in case she started again. When the kitchen had been silent for a
minute or so he said softly, "And she's not a bitch."
 
 It took a few seconds for Francesca to register what her brother had
said. When she did, she whirled around and glared at him. "What did you
say?"
 
 With a sigh, Ray folded the newspaper and sat back in his chair. Meeting
his sister's stern gaze he said slowly, "I said that she is not a bitch."
 
 Francesca snorted in disgust. "So she's got you sucked in as well?" 
 
 Ray rose to his feet and crossed the kitchen to the sink. Rinsing his cup
he said, "Frannie, I can make my own decisions about people. In fact," he
placed the cup on the drainer and turned to face her, "in my job I need
to. Ca....Cathy Madden is a warm and friendly person and I'm glad I got to
know her." With that he left the kitchen and headed for the hallway to
collect his coat and car keys.
 
 "So what did she do to change your mind?" Frannie asked, not without
sarcasm, as she followed him to the hall.
 
 Ray stopped, one arm in his overcoat. "Frannie, leave it alone. You're
just jealous."
 
 "Musta been pretty good," Francesca said, triumphantly. "Cause I know you
hated her. You said so."
 
 Ray finished pulling on his coat and then reached over to collect his
keys from the hall table. His sister was too close to a subject he did not
want to discuss. 
 
 "I'm going to work now," he snapped, then opened the front door and
headed outside.
 
 Francesca followed him onto the verandah. "Did you sleep with her?" she
called to him as he neared his car. 
 
 The words halted him in midstep. How did she know? Lucky guess? Or was it
that obvious? Slowly, Ray turned to face his sister. 
 
 "Go inside, Francesca, before you catch a cold." Then he spun around and
unlocked the car.
 
 With a whoop of delight, she leapt down the stairs and into the snow, her
feet clad only in pink fluffy slippers. "You did, didn't you?" 
 
 Ray ignored her and stepped into the Riv, slamming the door behind as he
did.
 
 "Yes, I know you did, Big Brother," Frannie shouted at the closed window
of Ray's car. "You slept with her!" Jumping up and down she called out,
"There is a god!"
 
 Ray started the car, revving the engine in his impatience to get away
from his sister's all-knowing grin. Just as he was about to back out the
drive, she tapped on the glass again. With a frustrated sigh, Ray wound
down the window. 
 
 "What?" 
 
 Francesca smiled before speaking. "Does Fraser know?" she asked, a sweet
smile adorning her face.
 
 Ray growled and threw the vehicle into reverse.
 
 "Does your best friend know you slept with his fiance?" she called as the
Riv lunged backwards down the drive and into the street.
 
 "Stay out of it, Francesca!" Ray shouted, before shifting into drive and
taking off.
 
 Francesca watched her brother's car disappear down the street and then
she strolled into the house, not at all concerned that her fluffy pink
slippers were dripping wet and her feet were blue with cold. She knew what
she had to do.
 
 
 
 Benton Fraser could almost feel the anger in his superior officer's gaze,
her eyes raking over him as she considered the request he had just made.
Ever since their attempt at a personal relationship had failed, she had
been unable to speak to him without an angry edge to her voice. He
deliberately waited until after lunch before approaching Inspector
Thatcher, she always seemed more reasonable in the afternoon. Ben knew she
was not a morning person. This afternoon, however, she did not seem much
better.
 
 "I suppose you have a reason for requesting two days personal leave,
Constable Fraser?"
 
 Ben nodded and cleared his throat before speaking. "Yes I do, Sir." He
planned to take two days leave after the coming weekend and return to
Canada. He planned to propose to Cat.
 
 Thatcher still stared at him, waiting for a response. She sighed. "And
what might that be?"
 
 "Um.....I'd rather not say, Sir." The Mountie blushed slightly and hoped
the Inspector didn't notice.
 
 Thatcher frowned at him and then sat forward in her chair, inspecting the
leave application in front of her. She tapped at the page with a crimson
fingernail, her indecision showing clearly on her face.
 
 "Sir, if I may just speak in my defence?" Ben waited for Thatcher to
signal before continuing. "You did refuse my request for leave over the
Holidays and I have worked most weekends during that time....."
 
 Thatcher's head snapped up. "That's because you spend so much time with
Vecchio when you should be working for the RCMP."
 
 Ben opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it and closed it
again. Thatcher returned to her inspection of his application, although
Ben wasn't sure why that was necessary. 
 
 Just as Ben was about to leave the room, taking her silence as refusal,
Thatcher hurriedly signed her name on the bottom of the form and held it
out to him, her eyes not meeting his.
 
 "Leave approved, Constable." She raised her stony eyes to meet his. "But
I want you back at work next Wednesday morning, without fail, or it's
sentry duty for the rest of the year." She rose to her feet and did her
best to appear imposing. "Do I make myself clear, Constable?"
 
 Ben licked his lips nervously as he reached for the proffered paper.
"Understood," he said softly, then waited for a sign that he was
dismissed. When Thatcher nodded once, sharply, he left the room before she
had a chance to change her mind.
 
 
 
 The BakTrak offices were almost silent. The late afternoon sun shone
through the windows, bathing everyone in a soft golden light. Phil had
locked herself away in her office several hours earlier, with strict
instructions not to be disturbed – she had work to do. 
 
 Mark knelt on the floor by his desk, a large map spread in front of him.
Opposite, Jeff was stretched out on his stomach pointing out the
additional sidetrips for the Sandburg and Black package. It was going to
be something new and exciting and Mark quickly caught Jeff's enthusiasm.
Neither of them heard the door of the office open.
 
 "Excuse me," a voice said behind them.
 
 Both men looked up, startled to find a delivery boy with a very large
bunch of brilliantly coloured flowers. "Delivery for some guy named Philip
McKenzie."
 
 Jeff hid a laugh as he jumped to his feet. "Philippe's a woman," he said
grinning, "and I wouldn't let her hear you call her a guy if I were you." 
 
 The delivery boy looked surprised as Jeff took the flowers from him. Mark
whistled in appreciation at the sheer size of the bundle. Jeff tipped the
startled delivery boy and he departed, leaving the two men staring at each
other.
 
 "Well, well, I wonder who these are from?" Mark said.
 
 Jeff poked amongst the flowers for a card. He found it. It was sealed. He
shrugged in disappointment. "Probably Rob or TJ. They know she's been
having a rough time lately."
 
 Mark shook his head. "Those aren't brother flowers," he stated,
knowingly.
 
 Jeff looked thoughtful for a moment. "And Phil did get a call from a guy
yesterday......"
 
 The two men exchanged a glance and then grinned at each other. "Well,
let's go find out," Jeff said.
 
 
 Phil's head spun around when the door to her office opened without anyone
having knocked. Embarrassed at being caught day-dreaming about Martin, she
was about to snap at the two men barging into her office when she noticed
the armful of brilliantly coloured flowers Jeff carried. 
 
 "These just arrived for you," he announced, placing them carefully on the
desk.
 
 "Oh my...." Phil whispered as she reached for the card nestled amongst
the blooms. 
 
 It was an unusual combination, purple columbines and creamy ranunculus.
The sender of these flowers had obviously gone to a lot of trouble to find
the perfect flowers. She knew whom they were from before she even opened
the card. Slipping a long, elegant finger under the flap of the envelope,
she looked up through lowered lashes to see Jeff and Mark lean closer.
 
 "They're probably from Rob or TJ," Phil said, by way of explanation.
 
 Jeff and Mark exchanged a knowing glance. "I don't think so, Phil," Jeff
smiled at his employer and friend. 
 
 "Yeah, Phil, those are date flowers," Mark insisted, nodding in agreement
with Jeff.
 
 Phil dropped her hands into her lap, smiling. "You've been spending way
too much time with Cat Madden, Mark."
 
 "They must mean something," Mark insisted.
 
 Jeff nodded his agreement. "You have to admit, it's a strange choice of
flowers, Phil."
 
 Mark nodded as well. "Call Cathy, she'll tell you."
 
 Phil mock-frowned at the two men. "Cat thinks everything means something.
These are obviously the only flowers in season at the moment." She hoped
neither Jeff nor Mark knew too much about botany. Both flowers were out of
season and these blooms were very obviously sought out for a particular
reason. She reached across her desk for an eraser and threw it at the men
in her doorway. "Now get out and let me get back to work."
 
 Jeff ducked and the eraser hit Mark in the chest. Laughing, the two men
left the room, closing the door behind them.
 
 
 When the door clicked, Phil stared at the envelope she had dropped into
her lap. She knew the flowers were from Martin. With shaking hands she
opened the envelope and pulled out the small card inside.
 
 Phil,
 
 Last night was a lot of fun. I hope it's the first of many. I chose these
flowers for you.
 
 Martin
 
 The greeting on the card was simple, but the flowers said a whole lot
more. The ranunculus said very simply that Martin was dazzled by her
charms. The purple columbines, besides being Phil's own favourite, spoke
of a resolve to win. Win what? Her love? For once in her life it didn't
scare her. Phil was surprised to learn she was more comfortable with that
thought than she expected.
 
 
 
 Ray approached his desk with an armful of case files. Plonking them down
heavily, he muttered something about how a Detective First Grade should
not have to do his own paperwork and then he sat down, still grumbling.
His satisfaction with nailing Reith was almost gone, marred by the
incident with Francesca in the driveway that morning and the three
teetering stacks of case files on his desk that he needed as reference. 
 
 Cursing under his breath he grabbed a folder and began the mammoth task
of organising his notes from the day before. He almost wished Fraser would
appear and offer to help. Cursing again, he thought about the Mountie and
his determination to propose to Cat. 
 
 And then he thought about Francesca. He was sure his sister was on her
way to the Consulate by now, ready to inform Fraser of her suspicions.
'Just what I need,' Ray thought to himself. 'A nosy sister, a best friend
with a strange idea in his head, and paperwork.' Ray wondered if the day
could get any worse.
 
 Elaine approached Ray's desk warily. She had the report he had been
waiting on. He had been snappy ever since his arrival just before lunch
and she never quite knew what would set him off. "Ray, here's the DA's
report," she said softly, holding the paper out to him.
 
 He tilted his head and, to Elaine's surprise, smiled up at her. "Thanks,
Elaine. You've been a real help with this." He reached out to take the
report from a startled Elaine, his arm bumping the last stack of files
just deposited on his desk. His smile disappeared in an instant. 
 
 "Jesus!" he snapped. "I didn't think this day could get any worse!" With
a growl, Ray jumped out of his chair, collecting the scattered files from
the precinct floor. 
 
 Elaine dropped to her knees to help. "I'll take care of this, Ray."
 
 On his hands and knees with Elaine, Ray's anger dissipated surprisingly
quickly. Sitting back on his heels he said, "I'd like to know which deity
I've pissed off today and who I have to sacrifice to remove the curse. Do
you think they'd be happy with Frannie?"
 
 Elaine laughed despite herself and together they gathered up the last of
the files. As they tumbled the mess back onto the desk, a soft green
envelope caught his eye. It was addressed to him. 
 
 Hidden by the stack of folders that had occupied his desk for most of the
day, Ray had not noticed it before and he wondered who it could be from.
He picked it up as Elaine made her way back to her desk.
 
 Opening the envelope and reaching inside, Ray found a sheet of paper
folded in half concealing a photograph. Unfolding the sheet of paper the
photo was revealed. It was Casey and Trevor. Ray sat down on his chair
with a thud, his mouth hanging open. Quickly he turned his attention to
the letter.
 
 Hi Ray,
 
 Sorry I missed you. I'm leaving for Montana this morning and I thought
I'd stop by and say hello. Here's a picture from my last birthday party.
Will write soon.
 
 Trevor
 
 PS You should call her
 
 
 Ray's mouth went dry and he took a moment to pull himself together. Then
he erupted out of his seat, waving the letter and photo at Elaine as he
stormed across the room.
 
 "Where did this come from?" he demanded.
 
 "Your desk is my guess," Elaine said, turning back to her computer.
 
 "But who put it there?"
 
 "I don't know, Ray. People put things on your desk all the time."
 
 Ray paced behind Elaine. "But you must have seen this guy. A kid. My
height, sandy hair, clean cut."
 
 "Oh that envelope." Elaine spun her chair around to face Ray. "That was
yesterday morning. He waited for about an hour."
 
 "You should have called me!"
 
 "He said it wasn't important," Elaine said, "and besides, you were
working the Reith case and I knew how important that was to you."
 
 "That's why I have a fucking cellphone, Elaine!" Ray strode back to his
desk. "If I didn't want to take calls I would have turned the fucking
thing off."
 
 Elaine watched as Ray threw himself back into his chair and re-read the
letter, clutching it tightly in his right hand and the photo in his left.
With not a small amount of curiosity about the contents of the letter and
photograph, Elaine turned back to her computer and resumed work. As much
as she wanted to ask Ray about it, she decided it was not worth the risk
of setting him off again. He was so touchy these days.
 
 Ray's eyes shifted from the letter to the photo. Casey still looked as
lovely as ever. His heart ached. The day had just gotten a whole lot
worse.
 
 
 
 "You and Lloyd were gone all day," Joseph said, as he led Cat into the
living room for a pre-dinner drink. "I hope Lloyd was taking care of you?"
 
 Cat smiled. "Oh, yes." She settled herself into an armchair so she would
have a full view of Lloyd when he entered the room.
 
 "So what do you think of our son, Cathy?" Joseph asked, as he poured a
large glass of red wine.
 
 Cat smiled shyly before accepting the glass from Joseph. "Minwasoh," she
said softly, aware that Emily was not in earshot and Joseph might not know
what she said.
 
 "Am I the only one around here who doesn't speak Cree?" Joseph chuckled.
Even after nearly forty years of marriage to Emily, he had only managed to
pick up a few words. Before he could ask for an interpretation, Lloyd
appeared in the doorway, hair still damp from his evening shower.
 
 "I'm flattered, Cathy," Lloyd said, catching Cat's gaze and holding it.
 
 "OK, so what did you say?" Joseph asked, looking from Cat to Lloyd then
back again.
 
 "I said your son is handsome," Cat told him, her eyes never once leaving
Lloyd's.
 
 Joseph raised his eyebrow at Cathy and then looked to his son. He thought
they made a nice couple. Feeling almost like he was intruding on an
intimate moment he shuffled off to help Emily with dinner. Neither Cat nor
Lloyd noticed.
 
 
 
 Phil hummed as she hopped around her kitchen pulling together an evening
meal of leftovers. Although if asked she wouldn't admit it, she had hoped
to see Martin again tonight. A part of her was disappointed that he
couldn't make it, but another part of her was happy. When she called him
to thank him for the flowers earlier that afternoon, he informed her he
was rostered to work nights for the rest of the week, but he was hoping to
swap his shift with one of the other doctors. If all went well, they would
be seeing each other in less than twenty-four hours. Not that Phil was
counting. 
 
 Seated at the small kitchen table, Phil nibbled at the odd assortment of
food on her plate, not noticing what she ate. Her mind was elsewhere. She
was thinking about Martin. She couldn't remember when a man had made her
this distracted. Or could she? Ben's face popped into her mind, unbidden.
With a particularly energetic chew to something salty, Phil pushed the
image from her mind. She wasn't going to think about him now, not when she
had met someone who came close to erasing his memory. She needed something
to occupy her mind.
 
 Leaving her plate on the table, Phil hobbled into the living room and ran
her eyes around the room. Television? No, it bored her. Reading? No, it
only distracted her. Sewing? No, not tonight. Music! That was it. 
 
 Moving to the stereo, Phil found her hand automatically reaching for a
Sarah McLachlan CD, but withdrew it suddenly - the Canadian woman's
soulful voice made her think about things best forgotten. Quickly, she
scanned the rest of her collection; Blue Rodeo, Robbie Robertson, Holly
Cole, Northern Pikes, Gordon Lightfoot, Colin James, Tom Cochrane,
Tragically Hip, BR5-49, Great Big Sea – how did she come to have so many
Canadian artists? Phil fixed her CDs with a determined stare.
 
 "Pure coincidence," she said to the rows of plastic boxes. As if to prove
a point, she reached out and deliberately selected a Canadian CD. It was
Colin James' Bad Habits. "I feel like a bit of rhythm and blues," she said
defiantly to the empty room as she lowered herself to the sofa. Within
seconds the sultry voice of the Canadian singer filled the room,
 
 Late last night I was dreaming, I was dreaming of your charms
 And I was standin' on the edge of love baby, with you in my arms
 Well you whispered sweet things and you told me
 You told me that you loved and you'd always be true
 And that you'd stand on the edge of love with me, honey I'll stand with
you
 That's why I'm standing on the edge of love and I'm just about to slip
and fall....
 That's why I'm standing on the edge of love baby, waiting on your call 
 
 A shiver ran through Phil's body as she listened to the words. Her dream
of several nights ago, meeting Martin, the feeling that something was
about to happen – it all made sense now. She was at the turning point in
her life, the start of something new and wonderful. All she had to do was
close the door to the past.
 
 With that decided, Phil struggled to her feet and made her way into her
office. Lifting the lid of a leadlight box that had been a gift from Rob,
she took out the envelope that Cat had handed her nearly a week ago now –
the envelope that contained Ben's address.
 
 "I won't be needing this," Phil said out loud to anyone who cared to
listen.
 
 With determined movements, she went into her bedroom and pulled the box
of Ben's memorabilia from her closet. Lifting the lid the barest amount
necessary, Phil slid the envelope inside and shut it again. When TJ came
over next time she would ask him to dispose of it for her. Then the door
to the past would be closed forever and Phil could get on with the new
life that she now stood on the edge of.
 
 
 
 Ben hummed as he prepared himself a simple meal of cheese and bread. It
was a little later than he normally preferred to eat, but his visit with
Ray at the 27th Precinct had made him late in arriving home. But that
didn't bother him. Nothing bothered him tonight. Not even Ray's
disapproving silence when Ben gave him the news of his impending visit to
Canada to propose to Cat could dampen his spirits this evening.
 
 With the plate of cheese and bread in one hand, Ben picked up a chair
with the other and carried both across the room to the window. When he was
seated comfortably, observing the people on the street below, he began to
eat slowly, chewing his food the exact number of times his grandmother had
instructed him. 
 
 A couple stopped to peer into a store window on the opposite side of the
street, their arms clutched firmly about each other's waists. From his
vantage point across the road, Ben could see they were in love. It showed
in the way they each tilted their head to capture every word the other
spoke, like the other was speaking some previously unknown truth. For a
brief moment Ben felt a pang of longing, but it quickly vanished when he
reminded himself that he would see Cat in less than two days. No, nothing
could dampen his spirits tonight.
 
 As Ben swallowed the last of his bread and cheese, a soft, tentative
knock sounded at the door. Dief was there before Ben even got to his feet.
He checked his watch as he crossed the room, wondering who would be
visiting him at 9.30pm.
 
 "Hi, Fraser," Francesca Vecchio's voice was more subdued than he had ever
heard.
 
 "Hello Francesca," he said, panic rising in his chest. So maybe something
could dampen his spirits tonight. "What can I do for you?" 
 
 "Can I come in?" she asked. "It's cold out here." The young woman
clutched her long black overcoat around her body to emphasise her
coldness.
 
 Ben looked her up and down, remembering another night when she appeared
at his door in this same coat – and little else. 
 
 "Ah....." he managed to stammer, blushing a fierce shade of red. 
 
 Francesca grinned. "It's OK, Fraser. I'm fully dressed this time." 
 
 Her dark eyes glowed with something that Ben could not decipher. Stepping
aside, he gestured for her to enter. "I'm sorry......please come in." 
 
 Diefenbaker scampered across the floor and under the bed. He did not want
to know about this visit. Ben frowned at the wolf. Anxious to avoid any
physical contact, Ben skirted neatly to the side, then closed the door
behind her before skipping off to the kitchen and clutching the kettle in
front of him. 
 
 "Can I offer you some tea?" he asked, holding the kettle up.
 
 "No, thanks, Fraser. I won't stay long," Francesca said, a knowing grin
on her face. "I've just come to give you some.......information." 
 
 "Ah.....in....information?" Ben stammered, suddenly very nervous.
 
 "Yeah," Francesca smiled at him. "About your fiance." She leaned against
the refrigerator, her arms crossed over her chest.
 
 "My fiance? Cat?" Ben was confused. What could Francesca have to tell him
about Cat? He set the kettle down on the sink, frowning.
 
 "Yeah, your ever-loving, faithful fiance." Francesca pushed herself off
the fridge and sauntered over to the bed, perching on the edge. Unheard by
the young woman, Dief whimpered. "There's something you should know."
 
 Ben relaxed. He had a feeling he knew what Francesca was about to tell
him. "What would that be?"
 
 "She's been sleeping with my brother." Francesca stated. This time the
glow in Francesca's eyes was easy to decipher – triumph.
 
 Suddenly defensive of Cat and Ray, Ben drew himself to his full height.
"Actually, Francesca, I am well aware of Cat's.....um..... relationship
with Ray and, whilst it is none of your business, I can tell you that it
occurred before I decided to marry Cat."
 
 Francesca stared at him open-mouthed. "And you don't care?"
 
 Ben cleared his throat. Did he care? He wasn't sure, but he wasn't about
to let Francesca get away with disparaging remarks about Cat. "My
relationship with Cat is something I do not think I should discuss with
you, Francesca." He moved to stand in front of her. "I'm sorry if it hurts
you, Francesca, but I intend to marry Cat. She is......" He stopped when
Francesca dropped her head, avoiding his eyes. "Are you alright?" he asked
in a gentle voice.
 
 Francesca stood suddenly and Ben had to step backwards to avoid a
collision. Tears streaked her face. "I think I should go now," she said in
a voice that was almost inaudible.
 
 "I'm very sorry, Francesca," Ben said as he followed her to the door.
 
 The young woman stopped, her hand on the doorknob. Turning to face him
again, she said, "The woman you're going to marry slept with my brother
and you don't care? You're weirder than I thought, Fraser."
 
 Ben opened his mouth to reply, but Francesca yanked the door open and
headed out into the hall, stopping him. With a strange look in her eye she
turned to him and sneered, "For all I know, you probably had some sort
weird threesome going on while the rest of the family was away. Eeuuww!
The thought makes me sick." 
 
 With that, she spun on her heel and charged off down the corridor to the
stairs, leaving Ben standing in his doorway blushing wildly, even though
they was no-one to see. Eventually, Diefenbaker's head appeared from under
the bed.
 
 *Whine*
 
 Still blushing, Ben closed the door and turned to his lupine companion.
"Pretend you didn't hear that, Diefenbaker."
 
 
 
 Ray banged furiously at the computer keyboard, the details of the Reith
arrest flowing from his fingers with ease in the late night silence of the
27th Precinct. His frustration had gone from strength to strength all day,
sparked by his confrontation with Francesca in the morning then fuelled by
the appearance of Trevor's letter and photo later in the day and, finally,
capped off by Fraser's visit a few hours earlier when the Mountie informed
him he would be going to Canada for the weekend. 
 
 It wasn't that he didn't want Fraser to go to Canada and propose to Cat.
If anything, Ray knew she would be good for him. Chuckling despite his bad
mood, Ray thought that maybe a weekend with Cat would sort Fraser out – a
few days alone in her company had done wonders for him. 
 
 His mirth disappeared again. The warmth of those days was long gone,
replaced by something cold and empty. No amount of time with anyone could
fix the hunger that burned in the pit of his belly. That is, nothing
except one woman with storm grey eyes.
 
 Ray sat back in his chair and let his head drop backwards. That's what
this was all about. That's why he was sitting at his desk at 10.30pm and
avoiding going home – avoiding being alone with his thoughts. Casey
Sinclair. 
 
 Everything he felt, did, saw – even ate – was affected by her. He
couldn't share Fraser's happiness because it only highlighted his own
self-imposed loneliness. He couldn't cope with Frannie's denial of the
Mountie's disinterest because it mocked his own denial – that he needed
Casey more than he could say. He couldn't even find refuge in memories of
his time with Cat because it only reminded him that she was now where he
longed to be – with Casey. 
 
 He'd promised he wouldn't look at it again, but Ray knew he had lied to
himself. Feeling like an alcoholic about to take liquor long denied, he
leaned forward and slid open the top drawer of his desk. His hand went
straight to the photo placed there that afternoon for safekeeping.
 
 Tears pricked at his eyes as he stared at the face of the woman he loved.
No, it was about more than that. It was about much more than just love. It
was about completion – it was about communion. The words Cat had said to
him only a week ago rang in his ears, 'You'll understand when you meet
your soul-mate, Ray.'
 
 "Oh, I understand, Cat," Ray said out loud, his words echoing in the
stillness of the squadroom. "I understand just fine."
 
 Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe it was the lateness of the hour or maybe
it was something deeply hidden in his heart, he couldn't say – whatever it
was welled up inside Ray and he could contain it no longer. With a long
wail he threw back his head and sobbed, giving way to emotions he didn't
know he had. Casey's photo fell to the floor. 
 
 The sounds of Ray's anguish rang out loudly in the silent darkness of the
Chicago Police Department's Violent Crimes Unit, but he was powerless to
stop the tide that poured out of him.
 
 Unseen by Ray, in the chair normally occupied by another Mountie, sat Bob
Fraser. Frowning, he leaned forward so that Ray could have felt him, had
he been alive.
 
 "Let it go, Son," he intoned. "It won't do any good to keep it in." He
lifted an arm to pat Ray's shoulder, but dropped it again when he
remembered he couldn't. "Your father should be here instead of me, but no
mind, I'll do what I can."
 
 The racking sobs that forced their way out of Ray's body slowly subsided,
leaving him sucking great gulps of air. The tears still came, coursing
their way down his cheeks. From time to time Ray lifted a hand and wiped
at his face, but otherwise he did not move.
 
 Bob shook his head and continued his litany. "There's no need to feel
embarrassed, Son. Every man needs to shed a few tears, despite what I told
Benton. Just let it all out. I'll stay here with you."
 
 Ray sighed deeply then leaned forward rubbed his hands over his face. His
tears slowed and his breathing gradually evened out.
 
 Still Bob talked. "See, you're feeling better already. You just need to
let it go, then you'll see what I mean." Bob waggled a finger at the dark
head in front of him. "Don't worry, Ray, I'll help you. Just you wait and
see. Once you let it all go you'll feel like you're starting again – like
you're on the edge of something new– mark my words."
 
 Ray staggered to his feet and reached for the photo under his chair.
Taking only a quick glance at the storm-grey eyes he knew so well, he
pulled his wallet from his pocket and tucked Casey's picture behind some
old bits of paper. He felt better now. 
 
 The frustration was still there and the hunger still burned in the pit of
his stomach, but it was tempered by something he couldn't quite define. It
wasn't until much later, after he filed his reports, tidied his desk and
was on his way home that he realised what it was – hope.
 
 
 
 Once again, Cat didn't know how she made it through dinner. All through
the meal she was aware of Lloyd's closeness – he sat to her left, his
chair as near to hers as possible. Fortunately, the rest of the Hope
family focussed their attention on Trevor, whom they had not seen for some
time, so that she was rarely called upon. Cat liked Trevor and looked
forward to getting to know him, but for the moment her energy was focussed
on getting to know Lloyd a whole lot better. She wanted to be alone with
him.
 
 
 It was a relief to be away from the others and alone with Lloyd on the
path that led to her cabin, her hand gripped firmly in his. There was no
need for words – they both knew what was about to take place. So it was no
surprise when Lloyd stopped and swept Cat into his arms and kissed her
with a fervour that she had known only once before in her life.
 
 Cat stumbled back against a tree, Lloyd holding her when she lost her
footing. His mouth on hers was warm and inviting, despite the chill of the
night. Cat threw back her head, exposing her throat as Lloyd's kiss moved
lower. Cat moaned out loud at his touch and Lloyd pressed closer, nudging
his thigh between her legs and pushing her further against the tree. His
mouth sought hers again and this time it was hot and demanding. Eventually
the need for air forced them apart.
 
 "Inside?" Cat managed to get out.
 
 Lloyd's steady eyes met hers, his desire evident. "Yes, Cathy, I'll come
inside with you. I'll come to your bed." 
 
 Cat tried to move towards the cabin, but Lloyd stopped her, one hand
coming up to push the hair away from her face. 
 
 "But this isn't just one night. Don't think it will be over when we cum."
 
 The rawness of Lloyd's words shocked Cat and she stared at him. In that
brief instant ultimate understanding filled Cat's mind. In all the years
she had told other people about true love and soul mates, she had never
really understood it. Knowing something intellectually was way different
than knowing it with every atom in your body. And now, faced with the
truth, she was scared – terrified. 
 
 At last she knew the fear that Ben and Phil spoke of. She finally
understood why they did not want to claim the love that was theirs, why it
was easier to walk away. She felt as though her soul was laid bare at
Lloyd's feet and although she knew without doubt that he would only love
her, Cat was frightened.
 
 Lloyd watched her, waiting for a response and when none came he spoke.
"Don't tell me you don't know, Cathy. I know you know." 
 
 Cat bit down on the panic rising in her. How did he know? She was the one
who knew things. Other people didn't know things about her. And why was
she so scared? Hadn't she spent weeks – no, months telling Ben and Phil
and then more recently Ray that they should reach out for love? Why was
she suddenly scared of taking her own advice? It seemed like an eternity
since Lloyd had spoken, but his words still hung between them.
 
 "Lloyd, I....." Cat started. 
 
 A gentle smile lit his face and he pulled Cat against him, kissing the
top of her head. "Are you ready for me, Cathy?"
 
 Cat pulled away to look at him, her heart pounding like it would tear
from her chest. She was past the point where she could have walked away.
She passed that point when she first laid eyes on Lloyd two nights ago.
There was no turning back. 
 
 "Yes," she whispered in a husky voice. "I'm ready."
 
 "Good," he replied, a warm smile curling his lips. "I've been waiting for
you for the longest time." The smile turned sensual. "I'm yours," he
whispered in a voice deep with emotion. 
 
 Silently, Lloyd took Cat's hand and led her towards her cabin. His last
words rang in Cat's ears as she followed him - 'I'm yours'. Suddenly, she
was struck by a memory – a memory long forgotten. In her mind she heard a
voice tell her 'look for what is yours at the Edge of the Earth'. At last
she understood.
 
 
 In the warm safety of Cat's cabin, Lloyd stared at the woman in front of
him, dumbstruck by the way she looked in the flickering light of the fire
and the sheer magnitude of what lay ahead of them. He faltered, unable to
find any words to describe what he felt. He reached out a hand to Cat and
this time it was she who faltered.
 
 Cat trembled, feeling more vulnerable than she had ever known. The deep
purple lace teddy she wore left her feeling more exposed than if she had
been naked. How many times had she done this before? How many times had
she stood barely dressed before a lover? Too many to count, she realised
not without fear. But never had she felt this nervous. Never before had it
been this important. 
 
 Cat's tiny hand slid into Lloyd's much larger one and she closed her eyes
briefly at the warmth of it. When she opened them again, Lloyd still
stared at her, his eyes calm and patient, giving her all the time she
needed.
 
 "Cathy....." he eventually ground out, in a voice that spoke of love. 
 
 Lloyd tugged at Cat's hand, urging her closer, but Cat resisted. 
 
 "Lloyd, I......" Cat broke off, suddenly embarrassed by what she had to
tell him. "I...there have been others......"
 
 Lloyd smiled at her then laughed a deep, sexy laugh, a bedroom laugh. "Oh
my sweet Cathy," he whispered. "I'm 38 years old. Do you think there have
been no others in my life, no others in my bed?"
 
 "No, Lloyd, you don't understand," Cat tightened her grip on his hand. "I
mean many others...." For a moment she panicked. What if this was too much
for him? But it was important to her that he knew. Tears pricked at her
eyes. "Many, many others....... I..." 
 
 Lloyd cut her off before she could continue. "I don't care."
 
 "But..."
 
 "It doesn't matter, Cathy." Lloyd stepped closer and cupped her cheek
with his large hand. "None of it matters. Not your lovers, not my lovers,
none of it. It's all in the past." He made a sweeping gesture with his
free hand and then brought it around to cup Cat's other cheek. He lowered
his head and touched his lips to hers gently. "This is what matters," he
said, letting his hands slip onto Cat's shoulders and then down her arms.
"There's no-one but you and me now."
 
 Cat was unable to speak. She stared at Lloyd, deeply moved by the love
she saw shining in his eyes. Yes, this is what it is all about. For all
the years she had spent telling other people in her life about true love
and soul mates, until this moment Cat had never known the true meaning of
what she told people. It suddenly all made sense. Without knowing how it
happened, Cat found herself in Lloyd's arms, pressed against his naked
warmth, unable to resist a moment longer.
 
 
 
 Ben sat by his window late into the night, finally, gratefully dragging
himself across the floor to his bed when his eyes would stay open no
longer. Although he would not remember it for some time to come, he
dreamed of Cat that night. He dreamed she walked along the edge of a deep,
dark waterhole. As he watched, she balanced skilfully on the edge then
without warning, toppled over into its murky depths. He ran to her but by
the time he reached the edge of the waterhole a man had pulled Cat out of
the water and held her against his bare chest, his long black hair
cascading over her face as he tended to her.
 
 "It should be me," Ben said in his dream. "I wanted to be the one to save
you. Now who will save me?" But he wouldn't remember the dream until it
was too late.
 
 
 
 The early morning sun streamed through the window and across the floor to
the bed, bathing its occupants in its golden glow. Cat turned in the arms
that held her, a smile already on her lips before she opened her eyes. She
couldn't remember when she had felt this good. 
 
 Lloyd smiled as Cat's eyes fluttered open. "Tansi," he greeted, gently
kissing her forehead.
 
 "Mon nantow," Cat responded, nestling into his chest again. "Kena ma?"
 
 "Ah," Lloyd replied, leaning down to nuzzle Cat's throat.
"Minentum.......minentum...."
 
 Cat shuddered in pleasure as Lloyd's hands flowed over her skin and his
lips skimmed her throat. "Kihtwam," she whispered, "kihtwam......" then
she could say no more.
 
 
 
 Friday morning saw Ben at work early, keen to set his plan in motion. He
had already arranged for Ray to drop him at the airport the next day and
to take care of Diefenbaker whilst he was in Canada, so all that was left
was to telephone Cat's housesitter, Constable Jenny Newman, and inform her
of his plans. If all went well, he would arrive in Moose Jaw Saturday
afternoon, collect Cat's jeep and replenish her grocery supplies. Sunday
morning he would buy flowers and prepare the house for her homecoming and
then Sunday afternoon he would be there to meet Cat's plane. It was such a
good plan and there was nothing that could go wrong.
 
 
 
 Ray attended the preliminary hearing for Howard and Reith although he
didn't need to. The excitement from their arrest had long since faded, but
he felt a strange, satisfied warmth flow through his veins as the two men
were led from the chamber back to their cells. 
 
 With a contented smile on his face he filed out of the courtroom, wishing
that there were someone other than Fraser he could share this with.
Unconsciously his hand came to rest on his breast pocket, the pocket that
held his wallet. Although he had vowed not to look at Casey's picture,
just knowing it was there gave him some comfort. For the moment it would
do but he wondered for how long he could fool himself that it was enough.
 
 
 
 The late afternoon sun made the BakTrak office warm and comfortable. Phil
was alone, having sent Jeff and Mark home early for the weekend. She
relished the solitude, even though her evening loomed long and lonely
ahead of her. To her disappointment, Martin was unable to change his shift
and join her for dinner, so she would not see him until Saturday evening.
But that was cause for excitement for she had offered to cook for Martin,
something she had not done for a long time. She shivered in anticipation
at the thought. All she had to do was get rid of Ben's box of memorabilia
and everything would be fine.
 
 
 
 Without any real discussion, Emily knew Cat and Lloyd would not join the
rest of the family for dinner. The stockpot of casserole and basket of
Emily's crusty baked bread that she and Lloyd found in her cabin said
enough. The bottle of vintage red wine that accompanied the food said even
more. It seemed everyone knew they had a lot to say to each other. 
 
 
 The next morning, lit by the glow from the early sun, Cat set the
coffeepot on the stove to percolate and then turned to face her lover, a
warm smile infusing her features with pleasure. 
 
 "Don't think I'm going to make your coffee every morning, Lloyd Hope."
 
 Lloyd grinned at her from where he leaned against the kitchen bench.
"Well now, Cathy, perhaps we need to rethink this relationship. I assumed,
naturally, that you would be up early every morning to cook me a hot
breakfast as well as making coffee."
 
 She leaned over and whacked his arm playfully. "In your dreams, buddy."
 
 "So that's the way it's going to be?" Lloyd asked, a mischievous tone in
his voice. "I might have to do something about that." He lunged at her and
Cat deftly sidestepped him, laughing as she dashed to the other side of
the kitchen table.
 
 "Just try," she goaded him, still grinning. This time when Lloyd lunged,
Cat let herself be caught.
 
 
 
 Trevor rummaged in his bag, cursing and swearing under his breath,
momentarily stopping to check that his mother had not heard him. She
hadn't. She was busy in the kitchen baking muffins for Lloyd and Cat's
breakfast. 
 
 "Shit!" he said, louder this time. He couldn't find what he was looking
for. In frustration he tipped the entire contents of the bag onto his bed.
Tossing clothes to and fro, he eventually found the item he sought – a
wallet of photos that he had carried all the way from Chicago.
 
 Brandishing the pack in front of him, Trevor dashed into to the kitchen.
"Mom! I've found the pictures that Aunt Beth sent!" 
 
 
 Casey flipped casually through the photos her son handed her, smiling as
the antics of her sister's Christmas day came to light. "Doug and Tracy
just grow so quickly, it's a wonder I recognise them at all," she mused
out loud, but Trevor wasn't listening. 
 
 He was busy staring towards the cabin where he knew Lloyd and Cathy were
ensconced, willing his cousin to come outside. He had travelled all the
way to Montana knowing that Lloyd would be here, looking forward to some
men's time. But now Lloyd was stuck inside his Aunt's cabin with the
Mountie. What was it about his family and cops? First of all there was Ben
Fraser taking over his room whilst he was away and then there was Ray
Vecchio and his mother and now Lloyd and Cathy Madden. He had met her the
night before last and he liked her well enough, but a part of him was
annoyed that she now monopolised Lloyd's time. When was she going home? He
hoped it was soon.
 
 "Oh my!" Casey cried from the other side of the room. Trevor jerked his
head around at his mother's startled cry. Ever since her kidnapping he
found himself extra sensitive to her emotions. But this time she looked
okay. In fact, she looked happy.
 
 Casey smiled up at her son and waved the photos at him. "Did you look at
these?"
 
 "No, I was late getting to Aunt Phil's - I, um, I had ...... some other
things to do, so by the time I got there I only had time to grab them and
run." Trevor hoped his mother didn't ask too many questions about what he
had been doing in Chicago. He didn't want her to know he had been to see
Ray.
 
 But Casey was too engrossed in the pictures to notice her son's
discomfort. She pulled one out and handed it to Trevor, who had returned
to his surveillance of the cabin, with an insistence that he take a look. 
 
 After a moment, he turned and took the picture from her. Taking a quick
look at the snapshot he stared up at his mother, finally understanding her
outcry of a moment ago. This was the opportunity he was looking for, a
reason to go and get Lloyd out of the cabin.
 
 "I think we need to find out more about this," Casey grinned at her
offspring, knowing that he would welcome her suggestion. She wasn't blind
to his frustration about Lloyd's, um, preoccupation. If they made a lot of
noise as they crossed the clearing between the cabins, Cat and Lloyd
should have plenty of time to make themselves decent.
 
 
 
 "I don't believe it!" Cat exclaimed as she looked between the grinning
face of Casey and the photo in her own hand. 
 
 It was a photo taken by Phil Christmas day of Cat with TJ, Beth, Rob and
their children. She turned to look at Lloyd, who shook his head in
disbelief - he'd been staring at the photo for a full two minutes and he
still couldn't understand how Cathy had managed to appear in a photo with
members of his own family. 
 
 Turning back to Casey, Cat asked, "Where did you get this?"
 
 Casey grinned. "Beth sent them with Trevor. He was in Chicago briefly
before he came home." The grin spread to Casey's eyes and she bounced on
the balls of her feet. "So, Cathy, explain the coincidence of the century
and tell me how it is you came to be at my sister's house on Christmas
day." She was enjoying the conspiratorial feeling that filled the kitchen
of Cat's cabin. Beside her Trevor waited patiently for an explanation
 
 At last Cat knew why Casey seemed so familiar. She was Beth's sister. So
that meant she knew Phil, too. And Phil had mentioned knowing a writer. A
shiver ran down Cat's spine. How much did Casey know about Phil's past? 
 
 "Ah, well, it's rather a long story, but Phil McKenzie invited me. You
see, I met Phil, TJ and Rob last year...."
 
 Casey clapped her hands together and cut Cat off. "You know Phil?" She
turned her attention to Lloyd, who ran his hands through his long hair and
gave her a wry smile. "Over to you, Lloyd," Casey said, grinning.
 
 Cat looked at Lloyd questioningly. "I'll explain later, Cathy," he said,
chuckling.
 
 Cat frowned and looked to Casey again. "I had no idea....."
 
 "This is so weird," Lloyd said, shaking his head. "How did you meet
Phil?"
 
 Cat leaned back against the kitchen counter and looked back and forth
between Lloyd and Casey, wondering how much they knew. Did Casey know
about Ben and Phil? Did Casey know that the Benton Fraser she had dragged
from the river was the same man who had fathered Phil McKenzie's child?
She would have to be careful. 
 
 "Well, I met Phil last year when she was kidnapped by a psycho I was
tracking...."
 
 Trevor jumped in, cutting her off. "You mean you're the Mountie who found
her? Mom saves a Mountie and then you save Phil? Wow!" 
 
 Cat nodded and smiled.
 
 Casey, still jumping on the balls of her feet, said, "Tell me
everything!"
 
 Cat looked back and forward between her new lover and her new friends as
she told her story, unable to shake the feeling that she had entered the
Twilight Zone. 
 
 Lloyd and Casey exchanged a glance that Cat couldn't help notice and she
knew there was more to the story than met the eye and her sixth sense told
her Lloyd had something to tell her.
 
 
 
 Ray stretched out on his bed for an afternoon nap with Diefenbaker
snoozing quietly on the floor beside him. Francesca was out with a friend
and he was alone for what might be the last time in a long while. The rest
of the family would return the next day and the house would once again be
filled with constant chatter. But for now, such silence in a house that
was rarely empty gave him a rare and treasured opportunity for some quiet
reflection. 
 
 He'd had his share of mania that day already. When he and Diefenbaker had
returned from dropping Fraser at the airport, Francesca had accosted him
and demanded to know what the wolf was doing in the house without the
Mountie. After some obfuscation on his part, his wily sister figured out
where Ben was and became hysterical, cursing and swearing in Italian. He'd
stopped listening after a while, but he was sure he heard the word
'puttanesca' a few times.
 
 Ray was troubled. He wasn't convinced that Fraser was making the right
decision, but he hoped with all his heart that he was. Fraser deserved
happiness after the things he had been through in the time they had been
friends. Would he find what he needed with Cat? Only time would tell. In a
small, buried part of his mind Ray was scared about what could happen if
he didn't.
 
 Another buried part of Ray's mind cried out too. A part of him wished he
could do what Fraser was doing. Oh, how he longed to get on a plane and go
claim his love. But that wasn't going to happen any time soon. He let out
a long sigh and turned on to his side, curling into a foetal position.
When would this end? When would his hunger for Casey stop? The sane part
of his mind wondered why he bothered asking that question. The feeling
wouldn't stop – not until he claimed Casey again.
 
 
 
 Ben sighed with relief as he stood in Cat's kitchen, pleased that there
was at least one constant in his life. Being here was the closest thing he
ever felt to peace. Gazing around the familiar room, he let its comfort
seep into his being, enjoying the feel of being in the only place he could
really call home. Yes, he thought to himself, I am doing the right thing.
Since his arrival early in the afternoon, he had shopped for groceries,
chopped firewood and lit a roaring fire. Now, with uncharacteristic
impatience, he waited for time to pass and Cat to return home.
 
 Sheila and Bella, after welcoming him at the front door, had followed him
all over the house and had taken up a position on the kitchen bench so
they could watch him as he packed the groceries into the cupboards. From
time to time he would glance in their direction and find them huddled
together, looking almost as though they were in conference. He had known
these cats all their lives, so why did their all knowing stares unnerve
him so? Or was it his paranoia?
 
 
 
 Phil stepped back from the table and admired her work. Laid with her
favourite dark green china and heavy silver cutlery and topped off with a
centrepiece made by her own hands, she hoped it gave the impression she
was after – casual elegance. The previous evening she had spent agonising
over the menu, eventually deciding on a simple homemade tomato soup,
followed by chicken breasts in a creamy sauce, with fresh vegetables and
homemade bread. Dessert would be chocolate pudding, followed by coffee.
 
 She was nervous. It had been some time since she had prepared a meal for
a date and she hoped Martin liked the things she had prepared. She wasn't
concerned about her abilities, Phil knew she was a good cook. It was the
fact that she cared what Martin thought that made her nervous. 'Since when
did Phil McKenzie care what a man thought?', she asked herself, but she
already knew the answer to that question. But tonight would be the
beginning of a change to all that.
 
 
 At the Edge of the Earth, fuelled by the knowledge that Cat was connected
to the Hope family in more ways than one, Emily turned Cat's final night
into a party. Not only was this to be Cathy's final night at Edge of the
Earth, it was to be a sort of 'welcome to the family' and that meant Emily
went all out. She was well aware of what was happening between her son and
the young woman and it made her happy. With a mother's eye, Emily could
see that Cathy brought out something in Lloyd that she hadn't previously
known was there.
 
 Sated by Emily's wonderful cooking and Joseph's fine cognac, Cat surveyed
the Hope living room from her vantage point by the fire. These people were
now part of her family – Joseph had said so at dinner. After so many years
with only Ben to call family, it seemed strange, but not unwelcome. Cat
smiled to herself. 
 
 She looked forward to telling Ben about Lloyd and their new family. She
knew it wouldn't be too much of a shock to him, he knew the Hope family
and had spoken to her of them on several occasions. He would be happy. And
they owed it all to Ray Vecchio, the man she had so badly misjudged the
first time they met. Now she owed him big time. 
 
 Cat's gaze slid to Casey, deep in conversation with Joseph on the other
side of the room. 'A Mountie always pays her debts,' Cat thought to
herself as she eyed the pretty woman who had captured one Chicago cop's
heart. A plot was already hatching somewhere in the back of her mind. With
the zealousness of the newly converted she wanted everyone to know the
contentment she had found.
 
 Cat's eyes naturally drifted to the source of her contentment. Leaning in
the living room doorway, Lloyd was smiling as he spoke to his mother. If
Cat had been closer she would have heard Lloyd say, "Mum, I've met the
woman I will spend the rest of my life with."
 
 "That was quick, Son," Emily said, the tiniest twinge of mother's
jealousy colouring her reply.
 
 But Lloyd didn't hear it. A dreamy smile spread across his face. "It's
just like I saw in my vision."
 
 Emily stared up at her son. "You mean that time you went to the
sweatlodge with Calvin?" Lloyd seemed to have a connection to her shaman
uncle. Although Lloyd had as much Anglo blood as Cree, his attachment to
his Cree heritage was strong and she was proud of it. But still she
worried for his haste.
 
 Lloyd's voice dropped to a whisper, "It's like I've been waiting for
Cathy."
 
 "Ah, Lloyd, you know I want you to be happy, but I don't want you to
place too much importance on the old ways."
 
 "Kimama," Lloyd sighed, slipping for a moment into Cree, "it's important
to know the old ways." He reached out and gently squeezed her hand. In a
soft, low voice he said, "It's you, I suspect, who places too much
importance on white man ways. Have you forgotten your own roots?"
 
 Emily's eyes slid from the placid face of her son, to the laughing face
of Cathy Madden as she joked with Trevor. Was she the right woman for her
son? Lloyd's smile said it was so and who was she to question his
judgement. He was a man of 38 now. Only two generations earlier he would
have been close to the end of his life at that age. Besides, she liked
Cathy and her friend, Ben Fraser. What did she have to worry about? Casey
was the one she should worry about. 
 
 "You're right, Lloyd. I like Cathy. Be happy." Perhaps she could enlist
Cathy's help to do something about Ray. 
 
 Trevor had the same idea. After entertaining Cat with jokes for ten
minutes, he finally worked up the courage to be blunt with her about what
he wanted to say. But how to approach the topic? How to ask this woman he
barely knew to help with his mother's love life? Jump right on in. Cat
still laughed from the last joke he told as he leaned in to say, "Will you
help me with Mom and Ray?"
 
 Momentarily taken aback, Cat choked on her reply. "Help you? Of course." 
 
 So she wasn't the only one who wanted to get those two back together? Cat
grinned and pulled Trevor closer to her, turning them so their backs were
to the rest of the room. Together they hatched a plan that was to start
with Cat mailing to Ray the photograph that she had taken of Casey. Trevor
would pick up from there. Only time would tell if it would work.
 
 
 
 Phil stifled another yawn and sipped at her third hot chocolate. Her
ankle ached like crazy and she was very tired, but she didn't want the
evening to end. Dinner had been great, she even surprised herself with the
meal she prepared. She wasn't ready for Martin to leave just yet.
 
 Martin checked his watch reluctantly. It was past 1am and he didn't
really want to leave, but Phil looked tired and she shifted her leg
restlessly, like her ankle was causing her pain. It was time to let her
get some sleep.
 
 "I really should go, Phil," Martin said as he leaned close to Phil on the
small sofa.
 
 Phil leaned closer too. "Yes, it is late," she agreed.
 
 "I've had a really great time - great food, nice music, enchanting
company - what more could a guy want?"
 
 Phil had the grace to blush. "Thank you, Martin. I've had a great evening
too."
 
 "Well, as much as I hate for it to end......" Martin hesitated for a long
moment, then stood and helped Phil to her feet.
 
 Phil grinned. "C'mon, I'll walk you out."
 
 Slowly they made their way to the door, Phil hobbling more than she had
earlier that night. She leaned her weight against the hallstand as Martin
got into his overcoat. Smiling, he opened the door and turned to her. 
 
 "Thank you, Phil. This evening really meant a lot to me."
 
 "Thank you, Martin." Phil smiled demurely through lowered lashes. It
meant a lot to her as well.
 
 "I'll call you tomorrow - maybe we can see a movie?"
 
 "I'd like that."
 
 They smiled at each other again and Martin shifted his stance.
"Goodnight, Phil," he said then leaned over to place a chaste kiss on her
forehead.
 
 In a rush, the pain in her ankle suddenly forgotten, Phil raised up on
her toes and gripped the lapels of Martin's coat. She pressed her lips
against his in an aggressive kiss. When the shock wore off, Martin slid
his arms around Phil's waist and returned the kiss. 
 
 Eventually, Phil let go and looked up at Martin's surprised face.
"Goodnight, Martin," she grinned, a mischievous light in her eyes.
 
 Martin smiled and shook his head, as if not quite believing what had just
taken place, then opened the door and made his way into the hall. Phil
watched as he walked to the elevator, smiling at him when he glanced at
her a final time before stepping into the lift, only going inside when the
doors finally closed behind him.
 
 Back in the living room she grinned at Chance, who had taken the warm
space on the sofa left by Martin. 
 
 "I kissed him," she giggled to the purring ball of fur, "I really kissed
him." 
 
 It was almost as if she was trying to make up for a time in her past when
she had not responded so well to a kiss. It was strange that the incident
she recalled had started with a kiss and ended with an injured hand. This
time it had started with an injured ankle and ended in a kiss.
 
 
 
 Tired from his journey and from anxiety, Ben was ready to sleep. His mind
was full of possibility and memories and it exhausted him. Yawning widely,
he turned out the lights in the living room and made his way up the
stairs, unable to stop from running his eyes over Cat's photos as he
walked. 
 
 He paused for a moment to take in memories he had not indulged in for a
long time. Automatically his eyes went to one of the oldest pictures in
the collection. It was a picture of Cat and him, taken nearly twenty years
ago when their relationship was in its early stages. He couldn't recall
who took it, but the photographer had captured something special – it was
clear they were deeply in love. Frowning, he studied the image of his own,
much younger features, as he had never done before. The smile he had worn
nearly twenty years ago was one he had not seen on his face for a long,
long time. Quickly he tore his eyes away, he didn't want to think of the
last time he had smiled like that. 
 
 Unable to fight it and unable to walk away, Ben found his attention
wandering to another old photograph, seeking another smile, a crooked
smile. Although her features were in shadow, Ben knew it was Phil's smile
that looked out at him from the Rocky Mountain Rescue photo on Cat's wall.
Suddenly angry with himself, he turned away abruptly and continued to the
safety of the bedroom he knew so well. Phil McKenzie had no place in his
life now - not when he was about to propose to Cat Madden.
 
 In the comfortable darkness of Cat's bedroom, Ben felt safe from the
memories that haunted him. In here there were only memories of Cat to fill
his mind. But thoughts of Phil were never far away and he needed to stop
himself from thinking about her. Before his mind registered what he was
doing, Ben found himself crossing the room and opening Cat's lingerie
drawer. 
 
 With a strange sense of urgency he scanned the contents, taking in the
neat piles arranged in colour order. He smiled, this was the only part of
Cat's life that was neat and orderly. Slowly he reached out and picked up
the nearest garment; a dark green teddy that he had never seen Cat wear.
Green was Cat's favourite colour - or was it Phil's? He couldn't remember.
More urgent now, he raised the garment to his nose and inhaled, filling
his mind with Cat's scent, pushing Phil further into the recesses of his
past. Now he was safe.
 
 With the teddy returned to its place and the drawer once again closed,
Ben shuffled across the floor to the bed, softly cursing as he tripped
over a pile of books Cat left by the bed. He chuckled lightly, wondering
why after all this time he still forgot how untidy Cat could be. By now he
should know to turn the light on before stepping into Cat's room. He would
tidy it up in the morning.
 
 
 
 Sunday morning dawned silently in Cat's cabin at the Edge of the Earth.
She and Lloyd had talked late into the night - planning the future,
sharing their pasts, telling their stories. There was no need to rush,
though, they knew they had the rest of their lives. 
 
 When it was time, Lloyd rode with Cat and Joseph to the airport, holding
her hand all the way. Talking was too difficult in the chopper, so they
made no attempt. They had little need for words anyway.
 
 Joseph hugged Cat and made her promise to come back soon, then drifted
off muttering something about refuelling, all though both Cat and Lloyd
knew it was unnecessary. When he was out of earshot, Lloyd turned to Cat
and lifted his hand to cup her cheek. Cat rubbed her face against his
palm, like the animal she was named for.
 
 "I'm falling in love with you, Cathy Madden, you know that don't you?"
Lloyd said softly.
 
 Cat gave a fuzzy smile and nodded. "Me too," she whispered and shifted
closer so that she could rest her head on Lloyd's chest. His arms moved up
to hold her and they stood for a long time.
 
 Eventually Cat lifted her head and kissed Lloyd gently and sweetly. "I'll
see you in two weeks."
 
 "Two weeks," Lloyd agreed and kissed her, longer this time.
 
 Smiling softly as she backed away, Cat shifted out of Lloyd's embrace and
made her way towards the gate. Lloyd tucked his hands into his pockets and
tilted his head, watching her all the time. She waved a final time and
then disappeared towards the plane that would take her home.
 
 
 
 Ben's uncharacteristic fussing did not go unnoticed by Sheila and Bella.
So far today he had arranged several vases of flowers, an indulgence as it
was winter and they were all imported and hence expensive, he had prepared
a small meal and he had cleaned parts of the house that probably hadn't
been cleaned since last time he was here. Now he sat by the fire
fidgeting, waiting for the time to come when he could drive to Moose Jaw
and collect Cat.
 
 Was there anything he had forgotten? Should he have bought a ring? No,
last time he proposed to Cat he had no ring and she was not the sort of
person to expect one. More likely she would berate him for wasting money
on something so frivolous. He had to admit, he agreed with her. Although,
he had given a ring to a woman once before. Phil McKenzie. And it wasn't
just any ring, it had been his mother's. To the best of his knowledge,
Phil still had it.
 
 Why was he thinking it about Phil again? Why was she intruding into his
thoughts now? He jumped to his feet and began to pace restlessly. Phil was
the last person he should have on his mind when he was about to propose to
Cat. 
 
 Sheila and Bella eyed him from their perch by the fire. They had noticed
his strange behaviour and wondered what was going on. Things were strange
indeed and they longed for the return of their companion. Cat had been
away far too long for their liking.
 
 
 
 Phil unpacked the dishwasher whilst she waited for her morning coffee to
brew. She hummed softly to herself, thinking about the meal she had shared
with Martin the night before. For the first time since Lindy died, it
seemed there may be someone who could help her forget the past - help her
leave her memories behind and lead her to happiness once again. She had a
lot to be happy for. She thanked God for sending Martin to her.
 
 Could she feel the same way for Martin as she had once felt for Ben? Of
course she could. She had to. She had to prove to everyone that she was
over him and moving on with her life. Yes, she would fall in love with
Martin. Of that there could be no doubt.
 
 
 
 Silvia Vecchio sighed with contentment as Ray hauled the last of the
family luggage into the house. "As much as I love my relatives, it's good
to be home," she said shrugging out of her coat and heading to the
kitchen. 
 
 Ray left the rest of the family to take the luggage upstairs and joined
his mother. 
 
 "You look sick, Raymondo. Didn't you eat?" she asked as Ray reached for
the coffeepot.
 
 "I'm fine, Ma. Things have been real busy at work, is all."
 
 Silvia Vecchio looked at him the way only a mother could, then abruptly
changed subjects, as only a mother could. "So Cathy went home early?" she
asked with a raised eyebrow - as only a mother could.
 
 Ray flushed under his mother's gaze. "Ah, yeah, she wanted to ......to go
somewhere quiet for a rest." He busied himself with making the coffee,
hoping that his mother didn't ask too many questions.
 
 "How did you two get along?" 
 
 "Fine - just fine...." With the coffee finally on the stove, Ray turned
around and found himself pinned to the spot by his mother's stare. "What?"
he asked, momentarily panicking that maybe Francesca had said something to
her.
 
 "She would make a good wife, Raymondo. I thought maybe....."
 
 Ray cut her off. "Ma, don't even think that. Benny's gone to Canada to
propose to Cat..."
 
 Silvia raised another eyebrow at her son's use of Benton's endearment.
"Benton is going to propose? But I thought he said there was nothing
between them."
 
 Relieved to be out of the spotlight, Ray said, "Don't even ask, Ma. It's
a long story. Let's just say that Fraser thinks some things are meant to
be."
 
 Silvia frowned. She too thought some things were meant to be and she
worried for her son. There was a time when she thought he had met the
woman he was meant to be with and although she had never met her, Silvia
knew this woman had made her son very happy. She didn't even really know
what had happened to that relationship. All she knew was that her son had
never been the same. She worried that if he didn't make a move soon he
might never recover.
 
 Ray's eyes clouded over as his mother stared at him. He, too, knew that
some things were meant to be. Like Casey. For a moment he let his longing
for the fair haired woman overwhelm him, filling his heart with the love
he denied himself, then just as abruptly he shut it off. When his eyes
focussed again Ray saw his mother open her arms to him. Without a word he
stepped into her embrace. There was nothing to be said. On the stove the
coffee percolated.
 
 
 
 Cat collected her pack from the luggage carousel and slung it over her
shoulders then made for the exit. As much as she had been reluctant to
leave Lloyd, she was damn glad to be home. Her month long vacation had
worn her out. All she wanted to do was go home and sort through all the
things that had happened. She needed to think about Ben, about Phil, about
Ray and Casey - but most of all she needed to think about her feelings for
Lloyd. Then she'd decide what to do next.
 
 "Cat!" A familiar voice called to her.
 
 She turned in the direction of the voice, startled to see Ben rushing
towards her. What was he doing in Canada? 
 
 Ben! What the hell are you doing here?"
 
 "Hello, Cat," he said, stepping close to her, a bright smile on his face.
 
 "I only left you a week ago. Is something wrong?" She dropped her pack to
the floor and gripped his arm, searching his eyes for something that would
tell her what was wrong. The last time they had spoken she gave him Phil's
address and told him to call her. Had something happened?
 
 Ben smiled nervously. "No. No, everything is fine." 
 
 Cat stared for a moment – his eyes were bright and shiny. He looked
happy. Maybe there was nothing wrong. Smiling, she reached out and hugged
him. It was always good to have him home. "So how long you staying?"
 
 "Oh, just a few days," Ben smiled shyly, then reached down to collect
Cat's pack. "I have your jeep outside. Let's go home."
 
 
 The drive to Cat's home in Riverhurst was full of laughter. They talked
about Cat's time at Edge of the Earth. Ben was more relaxed than he had
been in a long time and it warmed her heart.
 
 He noticed that Cat seemed different, too. He couldn't say exactly what
it was, but he could see something had changed for her. Maybe she knew why
he was here? Maybe she was ready for it. Maybe Cat Madden was ready to
marry him.
 
 
 Later that evening, after Cat had greeted Sheila and Bella and
re-acquainted herself with her home, the two old friends gathered in the
kitchen to eat the small meal he had prepared. It seemed that each knew
the other had something to say, but that was not surprising. The past
month had been difficult for both of them in different ways and their
friendship had been put to the test. 
 
 Ben's eyes followed Cat, watching her carefully as she worked. Was it
really only a week ago since they last saw each other? She seemed
different somehow – quieter, softer maybe.
 
 "You didn't bring Dief?" Cat asked with her back to Ben.
 
 "No. I didn't want to subject him to Customs too many times."
 
 His voice had a strange edge to it. Cat turned to face him. Was there a
strange look in his eye? She was just about to ask him a question when he
flowed off the stool and crossed the floor in one graceful stride. 
 
 Gripping Cat's hands in his, Ben squeezed his eyes shut. "Cat, will you
marry me?"
 
 Cat suddenly felt sick. She had been so caught up in her own happiness
that she hadn't seen the signs. This was why Ben had travelled all the way
to Canada. This was the reason for the happy glow in his eyes. She had
seen it in his eyes all those years ago and now she was going to hurt him
all over again, just like she had done all those years ago. She squeezed
her eyes shut. 
 
 "Oh, Ben," she whispered.
 
 If Ben noticed her hesitation, it didn't stop him. "I know it's sudden
but, well, it seems the obvious course of action....."
 
 It took a moment for reality to sink in. For Cat to accept that Ben was
proposing to her and for Ben to notice that Cat was not reacting as he had
hoped.
 
 "Cat?"
 
 Cat opened her eyes and stared at Ben's hands clutching hers. "Come sit
down, Ben, I have something to tell you." Without another word she tugged
him towards the living room. 
 
 When he was settled on the sofa in front of the fire, Cat sat at his feet
- still holding his hands - and told him how her life had changed since
she left Chicago.
 
 By the time she had finished her story, both Cat and Ben had tears
streaming down their faces.
 
 "I.....I ....don't understand......how......" Ben's voice trailed off. He
pulled his hands away, jealousy and bitterness filling his heart and
making his next response sound angry. "How did this happen in one week,
Cat? How can you say you want to spend your life with this man after one
week? I've known you for nearly twenty years. Twice I have asked you to
marry me - twice." He leapt to his feet and paced over to the window,
staring out into the snow.
 
 Cat's heart ached. It hurt her that her happiness made Ben so unhappy.
She had hoped he would be happy for her. And where had this come from?
After all this time, why was he was proposing again? Cat wondered if it
was some perverted denial of the love she knew he felt for Phil McKenzie.
She gazed at the broad back of her friend as he stared into the night; she
could almost see his pain in the way he held his shoulders.
 
 "Ben, where did this come from? What made you think that I would marry
you?" A lump formed in her throat as Ben didn't move. "Why now, Ben?"
 
 Just when Cat thought he would not answer, Ben spoke. "We're
so.....close. We know each other so well.... it feels like we're attached
somehow already...." he ground out in a low, harsh voice that betrayed his
emotions.
 
 "Ah, Ben, you know we've talked about this before. Oh god." Cat's voice
was a raw, ragged sound. 
 
 Ben didn't speak. Didn't move. After a long time she crossed the floor
and stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his large frame from
behind. With her lips close to Ben's ear she whispered, "Do you remember
that song we used to listen to? Tir Na Nog?" Ben's nod was barely
perceptible. 
 
 In a voice deep with emotion, Cat began to sing. "I said with my eyes
that I recognised your chin. It was my long lost friend to help me from
another lifetime. We took each others hands and cried like a river when we
said hello."
 
 Ben's body lifted in a sigh. He remembered the song well. Van Morrison
songs always made him sad. Cat was fond of his music. 
 
 Cat hugged Ben more tightly, pressing a tender kiss on his temple. She
took a breath and began to sing again. "You came into my life and you
filled me, oh so joyous. By the clear, cool crystal streams where the
roads were quiet and still and we walked all the way to Tir Na Nog." She
felt the faltered breathing that always accompanied emotion, but she
continued to sing, for herself as well as Ben as tears welled in her eyes.
"How can we not be attached, after all we're only human. The only way then
is to never come back. Except I wouldn't want that would you? If we
weren't together again in Tir Na Nog." Cat felt Ben's hot tears drip onto
her hands and rocked him gently, still singing, "We've been together
before in a different incarnation and we loved each other then as well.
And we sat down in quiet contemplation. Many many many times you kissed
mine eyes in Tir Na Nog." 
 
 They stood for a long time, the evening rising up and swallowing them in
its darkness. Finally Cat slipped around and forced herself into Ben's
arms, resting her head on his chest. She could hear his faltered
breathing, but still he did not speak.
 
 "God knows I love you, Ben, but this is the way it's meant to be. I told
you that I'm not your soulmate. We both know who that is." She waited for
a reaction from him, but none came.
 
 "I think I need to sleep now," Ben finally whispered, his voice sounding
huge in the darkness. 
 
 He slipped away, leaving Cat standing in the living room. She knew there
was no point following him, or trying to talk to him. That time would come
when he was ready. She heard him upstairs as he collected his pack from
her room and took it to the guestroom, shutting the door firmly behind
him. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered that he had rarely
used that room since last time he proposed to her - the last time she
turned him down.
 
 
 The guest room door was still firmly closed when Cat left for work the
next morning. She toyed with the idea of going in, but thought better of
it. She would come home at lunchtime and talk to him then. With a heavy
heart, Cat left the house and headed towards Moose Jaw.
 
 
 Cat was distracted all morning. Not a good thing for a first day back at
work. Her month long vacation was supposed to have left her rested and
calm, not restless and distracted. It was with a mixture of relief and
dread that she left the depot and drove home at lunchtime.
 
 She could hear the music as soon as she got out of the car. She smiled.
Ben had dragged out an old Van Morrison album, the one containing Tir Na
Nog. When she came through the front door, Ben stood by the large window
bathed in the midday sun, staring out at the snow-covered mountains. He
obviously didn't hear her over the music. She frowned. Ben wasn't normally
one to do something like that. She watched from the entranceway, feeling a
stab in her heart at the pain he felt. As one track ended and segued into
the next, Ben began to sing.
 
 "Thanks for the information. Never give a sucker an even break. When he's
breaking through to a new level of consciousness there always seems to be
more obstacles in the way. Thanks for the information. I know it's only a
combat zone. Thanks for the memory. I'll just have to carry on on my own."
 
 Cat's heart was breaking. She never meant to hurt Ben. Hell, she hadn't
done anything. This had all come out of the blue. He was hurting himself.
But what could she do? She stepped into the living room as Van Morrison's
voice welled up into the chorus.
 
 "Ben...." she said to his back, knowing that he had heard her come into
the room.
 
 He waited a long time before turning around. As the next verse of the
song started, he stood looking at her, letting the lyrics wash over them
both.
 
 "Thanks for the information. What you gain on the hobbyhorse you lose on
the swing. I like mine over easy and you can have yours sunny side up. I
don't wanna quibble over insignificant details and I've tried every trick
in the book. Thanks for the information. I know I should look before I
leap."
 
 "Oh, Ben...." Cat sighed. When had he become so maudlin?
 
 "I....I managed to change my flight. I'm leaving tonight." Ben's voice
was strained with barely contained emotion. "Can you drive me to Moose
Jaw?"
 
 "Yes. Yes of course." Cat stepped toward him and he tucked his hands in
his pockets defensively. "What time?"
 
 "My flight leaves at 7 o'clock."
 
 Cat ran a hand through her hair, she had taken to leaving it loose since
she met Lloyd. "I....I'll come home early to pick you up." A sharp nod was
Ben's only response. She stepped towards him again. "Are you OK?" He
nodded sharply again and turned his back to her. "We have to talk about
this......."
 
 "Not yet," he said firmly, clearly letting Cat know that it was pointless
to press him.
 
 Feeling worse than before, Cat slipped out of the house and went back to
work.
 
 
 As promised, she arrived home in plenty of time to take Ben to the
airport. When she walked through the front door, his pack was ready in the
hall and Ben was on the sofa, Sheila and Bella firmly in place on his lap.
He smiled at her as she came into the room.
 
 "Hello, Cat."
 
 "Hi, Ben. How are you?" she asked tentatively, startled by his change in
mood.
 
 "I'm OK." He got up, shifting the cats onto the sofa. "I'm ready to go,
if that's OK with you."
 
 "Sure, sure. We'll be a little early."
 
 Ben gave her a weak smile and Cat had the feeling he was putting on too
brave a face. 
 
 
 The drive to the airport was limited to small talk. Ben was far more
chatty than usual and Cat felt he was using small talk to keep her at bay.
It wasn't until after he was checked in that she got the opportunity to
speak as she really wanted to.
 
 Pulling Ben into a corner of the coffee shop, she put a hand on his cheek
and held his face towards her. It was the first time he had looked her in
the eye since she told him about Lloyd.
 
 "Ben, listen to me. We have to talk about this. I can see this is eating
you up and I can't let it happen."
 
 "I asked you to marry me, Cat, and you tell me you are in love with
someone else. What do you expect? But it's OK," he gave a bitter laugh.
"It's not as if I don't have any practice at this."
 
 "I'm so sorry, Ben, I really am. I wish this didn't hurt you."
 
 He gave her a dazzling smile. "It's fine, Cat, it really is." He reached
across and squeezed her hand warmly. "I'm happy for you, I really am." Cat
felt that he was trying as much to convince himself as he was her.
 
 She smiled sadly. "Thank you. It means a lot." Cat was at a loss as to
what to say next and it scared her to realise she had never been so
uncomfortable in Ben's company before. "You know, I felt like I was on the
edge of something new when I went to Edge of the Earth and things happened
in a way I could never imagine."
 
 Ben stared at his hands. He knew what was coming next and it didn't
surprise him.
 
 "You know, Ben, you could have this too. All you have to do is call her."
Cat knew she didn't have to say her name, Ben knew she was talking about
Phil. "You're on the edge of something wonderful, too, and all you have to
do is make the move. It's up to you."
 
 Ben opened his mouth to speak, just as the loudspeakers announced the
boarding for his flight. "That's me," he smiled, too broadly to be
convincing.
 
 Fifteen minutes later, Cat was in her car wondering what had happened.
Ben had hugged her at the departure gate and they had said all the things
they normally said to each other, but something wasn't right. He smiled
too much and his mood swing from the day before was too great. She was
worried. Suddenly filled with urgency, Cat started her jeep and headed
towards Riverhurst. She needed to speak to Ray.
 
 
 
 "Vecchio," he snarled into the phone.
 
 "Madden," Cat snarled back, a mischievous grin threatening to make her
giggle. She could almost see Ray's shoulders drop and his face relax into
a smile.
 
 "Cat," he said in a warm, rich voice that he rarely used outside the
bedroom.
 
 "That's more like the Ray Vecchio I know," Cat said in a similar tone. 
 
 Ray laughed a deep, throaty laugh. "It's good to hear your voice. Is
everything OK?"
 
 "Well, no, Ray." She hesitated, unsure how to phrase her question. "You
knew why Ben was coming, didn't you?"
 
 On the other end of the phone Ray let out a long breath. "Yeah, I knew,"
he said eventually. "You turned him down?"
 
 "Yeah, but there's more......" Cat's voice trailed off.
 
 "What happened?" Ray asked, suddenly panicked, his worst fears coming to
mind.
 
 Cat wandered over to the window and leaned against the cool glass. She
took a deep breath and told Ray about her trip to Edge of the Earth and
everything that had happened since. 
 
 "Wow," was all Ray could think to say. "I'm really happy for you, Cat,"
he said and Cat knew he meant it. "But if this guy doesn't treat you
right, I'll be after him."
 
 Cat smiled sadly. "Thanks, Ray, it really means a lot. I just wish I had
been able to find a better way to tell Ben."
 
 "It's not your fault."
 
 "I know, but I just feel so bad."
 
 "Tell me, Cat, if you hadn't met this Hope guy, would you marry Benny?"
 
 Cat was startled. It was the one thing she had not thought about.
Frowning, she said, "I don't know, Ray. I really don't know."
 
 "I think that says it all. If you knew, you would know, if you know what
I mean?" Ray laughed weakly.
 
 "I understand what you're saying, Ray."
 
 "So what happened?"
 
 "I just put Ben on a plane."
 
 "Jesus Christ," Ray yelled into the phone. "That means he'll be here
soon. I'll go pick him up. Is he OK?"
 
 "I don't know, Ray. I'm really worried about him." A sob rose in Cat's
throat and her voice choked. "Just make sure nothing happens to him...."
 
 "I'm leaving right now, Cat," Ray soothed. "I'll make sure he's OK. Now
what flight is he on?"
 
 Cat gave Ray the details and after repeated instructions and
reassurances, she hung up and Ray left for the airport.
 
 
 In Chicago, Phil sat holding hands with Martin Stevenson. They were
having a quick meal in the diner across from the hospital because Martin
was due at work in half an hour and they did not want to miss any time
together. They had spent a lot of time together in the past three days and
both of them were conscious of the speed with which their relationship was
moving. Martin felt as though he was on the edge of a new beginning in his
life and he was happier than he could remember being. Phil was happy too,
although she could remember a time when she was happier, even though she
would have denied it, if asked. The hubbub in the diner made conversation
difficult, but they didn't really need to talk. 
 
 Unbidden, the words to the Colin James song Phil had been playing for
days popped into her head. 'Standing on the edge of love and I'm just
about to slip and fall.' She sneaked a glance at Martin as he chewed a
mouthful of burger. She liked his face. His brown eyes were warm and full
of laughter. It didn't hurt that he was very handsome, too. Was she
standing on the edge of love?
 
 Martin looked across at Phil and smiled, squeezing her hand gently. "You
look lovely, Phil."
 
 Phil blushed and looked at her plate. Was she about to slip and fall?
When Martin leaned over and kissed her forehead she told herself yes.
 
 
 Ben refused the airline dinner, his face stoic, all traces of the smile
he gave Cat long gone. He had held it together well, but then he had years
of practice at hiding his feelings from the world. So it was easy to
plaster the smile on his face and wish Cat and her new lover all the
happiness in the world while he was dying inside. For a brief moment he
thought he would have some reprieve from the pain that had dogged him for
so long now, but once again he found himself facing the prospect of years
of loneliness.
 
 Cat had asked him what made him think she would marry him and, truth
told, he had no answer. It had seemed like a good idea when he thought it
through so carefully and rationally in his silent apartment. But he had
been wrong, as he had been about love so many times before. Cat had told
him he could have love if he wanted it, but she was wrong. Ben knew that
his opportunity for love was long gone. It disappeared the day he met
Victoria Metcalfe. 
 
 He snorted and looked out the window. Even thinking her name made him
angry. Angry with himself for falling victim to her charms and angrier
with the woman herself for taking advantage of him. Silently he cursed,
then pushed her from his mind. No more would he waste time thinking about
her, she had done enough damage already.
 
 His mind instantly went to Phil McKenzie, as it always did when he
thought of Victoria. Forever they would be linked in his mind by that one
fateful day on the mountainside. But there was no point torturing himself
with memories of a love he killed twelve years ago. He shifted in his seat
and looked around the plane, eager to find a distraction.
 
 It was easier to focus on the pain of Cat's rejection. That pain wasn't
nearly so bad. If he looked, really looked into his heart he could admit
that a part of him was relieved that his friend had refused him. Cat was
right, their love for each other was not the love that marriages are made
of. He knew, because he had experienced true love. But that is something
he would never tell anyone. 
 
 
 
 Ray scanned the faces of the crowd that disembarked from the Canada Air
flight and was startled when he saw his friend. Fraser was hurting, he
could see the hurt in the way he carried himself as he walked. When Ray
called out to him, Ben straightened visibly and replaced the hangdog look
on his face with a brilliant smile.
 
 "Hello Ray," he said, too cheerfully for Ray's liking.
 
 "Cat called me," Ray said by way of explanation.
 
 Ben looked at his feet and murmured, " I should have known she would."
 
 "Ah, Benny......." Ray said, stepping forward to enclose his friend in a
hug.
 
 For a moment the big Canadian resisted, maintaining his stoic facade,
then finally let go. Ray felt the large frame soften into his embrace and
then a sob rise from the depths of Ben's chest. The strength of his
friend's emotion shocked him and Ray choked back his own sob, realising
that they now shared the experience of heartbreak and lost love. 
 
 Standing there, in the middle of a crowded airport, with dozens of
passengers milling around them, knocking into them in their haste to get
to their loved ones, Ray felt his friend's pain and knew it equalled his
own. Unable to hold back his emotions Ray, too, let go stopping only for a
moment to ponder how he could stop them both from going over the edge.
 
 All comments welcome at mullum@tig.com.au
 
 Nothing Lasts Forever (Book 2 of the Ben and Phil Saga)
 
 1.Nothing Lasts Forever 
 2.Of Second Chances by Carol Trendall 
 3.Winter in America is Cold by Carol Trendall 
 4.Lavender Memories 
 5.Distractions by Carol Trendall 
 6.No Aphrodisiac by Carol Trendall 
 7.Life's Insanity by Carol Trendall 
 8.Standing on the Edge by Carol Trendall 
 9.Of Past Regret and Future Fear by Carol Trendall 
 10.A Summoning of Things Past 
 11.Three Parts Dead 
 12.A Job Well Done 
 13.Touchstones of Character 
 14.But For the Night 
 15.Tangled Webs 
 16.Suspicions 
 17.Chasms of the Mind (with Carol Trendall) 
 18.Outskirts by Carol Trendall