Unexpected - by Ashinae     
 

Rating/Warning: G. Slash. Sad, confused Mountie ahead. 
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio 
Disclaimer: Don't own them, much as I may want to. 
Spoilers: yep, yep. 
Summary: Uhh... who's this blond guy?? 
Notes: Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands ;) But then again, these
don't take me long to write. I have been gifted with a vision and I am
milking it for all it's worth. 
Unbeta'd. My mistakes, my weirdness, blame me. 

Feedback is good for the soul! 

* * * * * 

UNEXPECTED - June, 2000 
by Ashinae 

**"Hello, Ray?" 

"Hey, Benny, how's the vacation going?" 

"It's everything a Mountie could ask for, Ray. Lots of fresh air, plenty
of exercise. How are things in Chicago?" 

"Ah, you know, Benny, Chicago's Chicago! Listen, I'm just calling to let
you know that I may not be there at the train to pick you up." 

"That's no hardship, Ray. I have legs. I can walk." 

"I know you have *legs,* Benny. That's not the point. I'm just calling to
let you know that... you may be on your own for a while." 

"Is something wrong?" 

"No! Why would anything be wrong? I'm just calling to let you know that
I'd like to be there to pick you up but if I can't be there, it's not
because I didn't want to be, it's because something came up." 

"You're sure everything's all right?" 

Ray gives a little sigh. "Look, Benny... I... I don't know if they have a
similar thing up there in Canada, but down here in America we have this
thing called 'friendship.' And this is something that a friend would do.
Like, for example, if one friend calls another friend and he's supposed to
meet him at a certain time and a certain place and he can't be there, he
usually calls him to let him know." 

"So everything is all right then?" 

Another sigh. "Yeah, Benny. ... Everything is all right..." 

"Well, that's good to hear, Ray." 

"It's good to hear your voice... Listen, uh... I want you to have a safe
trip... and I will be in touch." 

"All right, Ray." 

"You understand that, uh... I *will* be in touch?" 

"... As a friend?" 

"Yeah, Benny. ... As a friend."** 

*** 

I don't know why I didn't understand it then. It was all just so obvious,
and I was blind to it. I naturally assumed there was someone with him and
he couldn't say anything about loving me. He just called "as a friend" to
let me know he couldn't pick me up. 

I heard what I wanted to hear. I always do that. It doesn't matter the
situation... I take from it what I want to and forget about anything else.


Why would I *want* to believe that my Ray was leaving me? 

I still don't want to believe it now. 

Now, I have a "new" Ray, someone I don't understand and I don't know if I
*want* to understand him. He is *not* my Ray and I just want the old Ray
back. I know this new Ray is well aware of the way I feel; I'm not sure
how I know this, I just do. It's on a "gut-level," I suppose you could
say. He knows he is not Ray Vecchio, I know he is not Ray Vecchio and I
wonder how long Ray Vecchio knew he was going to leave me. 

Was he trying to get away from me? 

I can't believe that. I can't believe my Ray would want to leave. 

Duty. I understand that. He had to... 

"Hey, uh, Frase?" 

"Yes, Ray?" You're not Ray. You're *not* and why are you here? You don't
even look Italian. Who are you? Why are you doing this to me? Why is *he*
doing this to me? 

Ray Kowalski gives me one of his lop-sided grins. "Wanna go get some pizza
or something? The Blackhawks are playing the Leafs tonight." 

"No, Ray," I decline, "I think I would just prefer to go back to the
Consulate and get a good night's sleep." 

He looks disappointed. He just shrugs. "All right, Fraser, whatever you
say." 

He *never* calls me by my first name. Except for the first day we met, and
he called me "Benton-buddy" but really, that's just making fun of my name.
Not that Ray Vecchio didn't make fun of my name; he could hardly believe
that Benton *is* my name. But he called me Benny. And I rather like that.
Liked it. 

Ray Kowalski lets me off at the Consulate. "Hey, uh, Frase?" he says
again. 

"Yes?" 

"How 'bout tomorrow night? We could grab a pizza or some Chinese, whatever
ya want, and rent a movie or somethin." 

"I'll think about it." 

"Give me a call at work in the afternoon and let me know, kay?" 

"Sure, Ray. Good night." 

"Yeah... see ya." 

Once inside, I sit down at my desk and stare at its polished surface for a
moment. It has been six weeks since Ray left me--Chicago. Left Chicago. He
said he would be in touch, but he hasn't been. Although I am certain he
has to be careful, he *promised.* 

He also promised that he would never leave me. 

I can't make sense of my world anymore. I feel as lost and confused as I
did the first time I arrived here. I am back at square one, and I don't
even have Ray to... to... do what he does. Did. 

He's not here to love me. 

How was I to know? Was he ever going to tell me? I wish I hadn't gone back
home. I wish I had invited him to go with me. I wish... 

I wish I had never told him how I feel. Not that I could have *expected*
this to happen. 

He promised. 

He promised not to leave. 

He *promised.* 

I won't be calling Ray Kowalski tomorrow. 

FIN.