due South: Vigilant Life   Rated NC-17 M/M Warning, a serious "Mitch
Story" so it's violent, emotional and sexual. 

This comes right after Vigilance. I poked my fingers into this saga after
pleading for permission to do so. It has captivated me, distracted me from
work on my own two series of Due Slash and in general wreaked havoc on my
personal life. I'd like to take this opportunity to pound Elaine over the
head with a dead otter for doing this to me. It's all her fault. And now
you too are being made to suffer as I take your hand and lead unsuspecting
of the obsession looming over you, through a time in Ray and Ben's . . .  
VIGILANT LIFE by Mitch Hudson 

"No, Benny. Diapers." Ray juggled the phone receiver as he tried to cradle
it between his left ear and shoulder while scanning the report Louise St.
Laurent had just handed him. She tapped her watch meaningfully and Ray
flicked her a quick glance across his desk. He held up his outspread hand,
silently asking her for five more minutes. The Assistant District attorney
threw her hands up in the air and walked away. 

"Benny, I really gotta go. Can you pick up the stuff on your way home
tonight?" He closed the folder and took hold of the receiver again. "Yes,
you can. Just buckle him in his car seat and if he starts to cry pull over
and tend to him. It's not a big deal, Benny. If you can chauffeur the
Dragon Lady all over Chicago you can drive one tiny little baby around.
Yes. I'm sorry. Meg," he said with a long-suffering tone. "Look, I gotta
go. Just write a check for everything. My checkbook's in the Riv's glove
compartment and you're signature's on the account. Bye, lover. Kiss my boy
for me." * 

Ben hung up the receiver and moved around his desk to check on the
sleeping baby. Nine-month-old Fraser didn't look at all discomfited to be
sleeping in a small crate on the floor in his father's office. Diefenbaker
lay curled along one side of the wooden box. The wolf lifted his head and
peered up at the Mountie who bent to touch his son's soft cheek. 

"He's beautiful, Dief. I can't believe we're lucky enough to have him in
our lives. Ray says the fussiness could just be teething. We will have to
ask somebody about it. He said he thought this was the age when his niece
and nephews had the most problems. That doesn't sound very reassuring
though, does it? I will have to find a better source of information than
the child care book Maria brought us when Fraser first . . . " 

Ben reflected back over the days immediately following the shooting of
Victoria. Those horrible dark days ran together into a solid block of
confusion with only one touchstone to reality, one image to calibrate his
sanity by. Ray. Ray who loved him enough to stay with him through his self
imposed madness. Ray who kept him alive, who loved him simply . . .
enough. And here was the result of Ray's love. Ray had brought Fraser into
their lives and made the three of them a family. Ben smiled and stared off
into infinity as he thought of his lover. 

Then as baby Fraser made a sniffling noise Ben's attention was pulled back
to the office. Ben brushed a dark curl from his son's forehead. His round
face felt a bit too warm. 

He gently lifted the sleeping boy and cradled him in his arms. The first
time he'd seen that face Ray had been the one to place him in his arms.
Ray had cared for them both, bathing and feeding, getting his sister to
help them with what they needed to care for such a tiny helpless infant.
There had been the crib, soft linens and lotions and powder. And the book.
Ben rose slowly and trod softly to his desk. He managed to extract the
book from Fraser's diaper bag without making any noise that might disturb
the baby. 

After a few fruitless minutes of searching the text he replaced the book
and laid the baby back in the padded crate. 

"Constable, I assume you have a good explanation for why your son is once
again sleeping on your office floor?" 

Ben jerked upright as Inspector Margaret Thatcher entered his office. He
banged his knee on the edge of his desk and managed to kick his trash can
in the process. Fraser woke with a tiny wail of protest at the intrusion
on his nap time. 

"Permission to . . . ah," Ben nodded his head in the direction of the
fussing baby. 

"Permission granted, Constable. Please see if you can manage to tend to
him without further injury to yourself. I'm sure I don't know why I came
in here to object to your insisting on turning the consulate into your
private day care facility. It certainly hasn't impacted your performance
of your duties any." Meg wandered further into the tiny office and sat by
the window as her officer gently picked up the fussing baby, rocking him
and soothing him with a sure touch. 

"I can assure you, Inspector, I have not allowed my outside activities to
interfere with the execution of my duties here at the consulate. I am-" 

Meg lifted a hand as if to ward off his impending explanation. "Please
don't. You don't need to assure me of anything. I can see the dark circles
under your eyes. I'm fully aware of just how hard you've been working to
stay up on things, the extra hours you've put in, the shift juggling
you've been doing with Ovitz. Don't think I don't appreciate your efforts
or that I don't understand your motivation. I do. But I'm worried about
you, Ben. Have you taken a good look at yourself lately? I mean have you
noticed that those dark circles under your eyes never fade anymore? Not
since Vecchio--" she stopped, clamping her lips into a thin line. 

"Since Ray was hurt," Ben finished for her. Since he'd almost lost the
other half of his heart, the other half of baby Fraser's world. Ben
swallowed and held his son closer. "Things will get better, sir. Ray and I
are just feeling our way through a few rough spots." 

"Yes, Ben. I see that you are. You're damn lucky to have him, you know?" 

"Yes sir," he replied looking down at his son appreciatively. Her words
seemed to echo just what he'd been telling Dief moments earlier. He was
damn lucky to have his son. 

"I mean, Vecchio can be incredibly annoying at times and I certainly would
never have thought that the two of you would . . ." 

Ben looked up at her in surprise. "Ray?" 

"I never would have thought the two of you would make such a good . . . um
. . ." 

"Couple?" he supplied with a smile. 

"Yes," she agreed quickly, relief plain in her tone. "You're just lucky to
have him, that's all I was trying to say." 

"Yes sir," he said again, but this time he understood who she was
referring to. A sudden urge to call Ray swept through him. It was as if he
could feel that Ray needed him at that moment. * 

"Damn. I can't deal with this shit, Louise." Ray trailed along through the
precinct's warren of halls after the auburn haired attorney, trying to
explain his position to her. The information on the case that was going to
trial was all up to date. There was nothing more he could do to help her.
But she'd gotten Welsh to order him to put in an extra hour this evening
reviewing the case with her. Ray struggled to keep up with her. The
weakness on the left side of his body, a result from the beating he'd
received three months ago still had him limping. The therapist reassured
him it would completely disappear if he'd get enough rest. Ray hated
acknowledging that it was worse when he was tired. Which seemed to be all
the time. 

In the dingy precinct hall Louise rounded on him, her eyes flashing her
impatience. "Look Vecchio--" 

Ray jerked to a stop too quickly in his effort to avoid colliding with
her. He stumbled to his left and Louise, eyes wide in alarm reached out to
prevent him from falling. Her right hand caught at his left and the
contact was too great for him to keep a hold on the file folder. It fell
from his weakened grasp, scattering papers all about them on the floor. 

Ray looked down at the mess around them. He closed his eyes and clenched
his hands. Blessedly Louise didn't begin berating him. He tried to steady
the tremor running through his whole body before she started in on him. A
feathery sensation of touch flitted along his left shoulder. Then arms
came about him hugging him loosely. Ray opened his eyes and saw the
shimmering redness of Louise's hair. She held him, patting him gently on
the back. Ray swallowed. 

"Sorry Ray. You all right?" she asked. 

"Shu-" He cleared his throat and tried to answer her. "Sure. I'm fine.
Everything's fine. Sorry 'bout the mess," he said as she stepped away. He
tried one of his winning smiles on her. 

Louise smiled instantly. "You've always been something of a mess,
Vecchio." 

The smile melted from his face and Ray turned away. "Go on," he said in a
too-small voice. "I'll get these papers cleaned up and back to your
office. Just-" with a quick shake of his head he knelt awkwardly and
started scooting the papers together. 

Louise joined him. Mutely he allowed her to intrude on his task. He didn't
have the strength to tell her to leave him alone. He braced himself
against the wall to rise and Louise was there, lending him a steadying
hand whether he wanted it or not. She pulled him down the hall and into an
empty observation booth. Ray slumped down into the metal chair and waited
for her to begin the lecture he knew was coming. 

"Like I said, Vecchio, I'm sorry. I'm not the heartless bitch everybody
around here seems to think I am." 

Ray brought his gaze up from the floor, an automatic protest forming on
his lips but she didn't give him a chance to speak. 

"I've been riding you a little too hard this past week. The truth is, Ray,
this case is getting to me. Doesn't that ever happen to you?" 

He looked at her to see if she really wanted an answer. She gazed
expectantly at him. There was no way he would be able to get a sound past
the lump in his throat. It was getting harder by the second to hold on to
what little control he had left over his emotions. He swallowed and
nodded. Yeah, things got to him. Lately every damn thing in the world got
to him. It was like he had no reserve left. No reserve energy to draw on.
No reserve of calm to pull out and hide behind when things got rocky. And
every damn thing in his day seemed to turn out rocky lately. 

"Yeah," she said to acknowledge his unspoken answer. "So we do still have
something in common, don't we?" 

He couldn't think of anything to say to her. 

"Everything all right between you and . . . your friend?" 

Shit! Ray silently cursed. Was she going to start in on Benny now? It had
been awkward enough the first time he'd had to face her after knowing
she'd heard about the two of them. Louise had been silent and angry then,
and he had no words to reassure her that he hadn't been just playing with
her when he'd pursued a relationship with her. 

"I'll understand if you don't want to talk to me about it, Ray. We don't
exactly have the best of relationships. Never have, I suppose. But you
need to find someone you can talk to about this." 

"I'm fine, Louise. About our relationship," he began, struggling for the
right words, " you're right. It never has been the best but I never meant
to hurt you." 

"I figured that out, Vecchio." Louise dragged a chair around and sat
facing him. "The others around here may be blind to certain things about
you . . . and the Mountie, but I realize there was nothing going on
between the two of you when we were playing at dating." 

"It wasn't play--" 

"Sorry," she protested, holding up her hands. "I mean that neither you nor
I were really ready for anything serious to develop between us. We're
really not compatible." She smiled. 

"I suppose not," Ray agreed. "I just wanted to say that I never meant to
hurt you or make you look like . . ." 

"A fool. I know. I got awfully sick of the snide whispers and comments
flung at my back after the news of you and the Mountie came out." 

Ray nodded. How in the world could the beautiful love he felt for Benny
cause so many people so much unhappiness? 

"Anyway, I'm a big girl. I survived it. I had friends who backed me up,
who were there to listen to me when I needed to vent. You need to do the
same thing, Ray. You need to vent." 

Ray nodded. Louise continued to stare at him and for a horrified moment
Ray thought she might be expecting him to tell her his problems. A protest
formed on his lips but Louise rose and stepped to the door. 

"I hope you take my advice, find an understanding soul and bend their
ear," she said with a smile. Then she left, pulling the door closed behind
her. 

Ray levered himself out of the chair and lurched to the door. He locked
the handle, heaving a sigh as he heard the mechanism click. With his
shoulder against the door, Ray closed his eyes and sank to the floor.
Maybe the feeling would fade, the tightness in his chest, the cold pain
sweeping through his mind like a black tornado. He fought but lost the
battle as tears slid from his eyes. * 

The wail of a police cruiser's siren cut through the urban growl and
brought Constable Benton Fraser's pacing to an abrupt halt. He craned his
neck to catch a glimpse of the approaching vehicle, certain that Ray had
commandeered the fastest ride possible to the pediatrician's office. He
met his lover halfway to the building and caught him in his arms. 

"The baby?" Ray asked in desperation. 

"He's going to be fine, Ray. The doctor is arranging for an ambulance to
transport Fraser to the hospital." 

Ray clutched tightly at Benny's arms and pulled back far enough to gaze
searchingly into his eyes. "God, Benny. This-- how could it have--" 

"He'll be fine, Ray," Ben reassured his lover. 

"But how could he have gotten so sick and me not notice? I can't believe I
could have ignored symptoms like those." 

"It's not that unusual to mistake the symptoms of this type of viral
infection for teething." 

The arrival of an ambulance stopped Ray's self beratement and he and Benny
quickly joined the paramedics who would transport their son to the
children's hospital. 

Ray huddled over the sleeping infant during the quiet ride. Ben held his
lover's hand in a tight grip as they watched the paramedic monitor the
infant's condition. 

"He's stable," the young man said to them with a gentle smile. 

Ray leaned back against Benny and held himself there as self doubt and
fear washed through him. "Benny it should have never gotten to this point.
If I'd listened to you on the phone, realized that you were justly worried
about his fussiness . . ." 

"Ray, I hope you don't mind but I called Francesca and Maria. I thought it
would help reassure you if you had family around you. I hope I haven't
done anything that will disturb you." 

Once again Ray tightened his hold on Benny's hand. "You always know just
what to do, don't you?" he asked with a strained smile. His lover leaned
closer and kissed his cheek. Ray closed his eyes and rested his forehead
against Benny's shoulder. 

The paramedic eyed them with alarm but neither man spared him a glance or
an explanation. 

In the bustle of the pediatric emergency ward Fraser was put through the
rigors of being checked into the hospital. The IV line that the paramedic
had inserted was secured against his leg and he was weighed, checked for
blood pressure, temperature, and typed. 

Ray cringed as the baby cried at the pain and discomfort of the
experience. He turned to search for contact and found himself in the
comforting circle of his lover's arms. 

Moments later a young woman pulled aside the cubicle's curtains and held
out a clip board of hospital admission forms. Ray shifted to Benny's side
so the Mountie could take the offered clip board and pen from the short
brunette clerk. 

"Insurance card?" the clerk asked him. 

Ben stared at her for a moment. He pulled out his wallet and fumbled to
extract his own medical supplement card. Employees of the embassy were
provided with health coverage as part of their posting, private coverage
that was not necessary in Canada where health care was provided for all
citizens. 

"This covers your son too?" the clerk asked. 

"Actually I'm not sure it does," Ben replied truthfully. "I don't think
the consulate has ever made arrangements to add Fraser to my--" 

"Then we'll need some form of payment today," she said. 

"Is that necessary? I don't have--" 

Ray pulled out his wallet and handed it to his lover. "Give her a credit
card," he said tersely. 

"But Ray, surely we can make some form of arrangement to pay the bill from
our salaries over a period of--" 

"Just give her the damn card and get rid of her," he exclaimed. He
clenched his fist as Fraser made a wail of protest at another inflicted
pain by the nurses working on him. "Not that one," he said as Benny held a
red card out to the clerk. "It's maxed out. Give her the gray one." Ray
turned back to Fraser's side as Benny dealt with the young woman from
accounting. 

Ray limped and leaned heavily on Benny as they followed the entourage who
wheeled their son to his room. By the time Fraser was settled in a steel
railed infant's bed Ray was almost totally supported by Benny. 

The highly polished metal bars of the infant's bed reminded Ray entirely
too much of an animal's cage. The very sight of it was repugnant. And the
thought of their son in it turned Ray's stomach. He stood in Benny's
embrace in the darkened room, watching Fraser sleep. 

"Hey," Francesca's soft call brought Ray out of his dark reverie. She
slipped into the room and approached the men as if she were walking on
broken glass. 

Ray slipped one hand from around Benny and reached out to her. "It's all
right, Frannie," he offered what reassurance he could. "Come on in." 

She took his hand and stepped up to the crib. "How is he?" 

"Resting well," Ben answered. "The doctors are most encouraging about a
complete and speedy recovery." 

"Encephalitis," Francesca said with a shake of her head. "I remember when
little Tony had a fever, Ma could tell by a glance whether he had one
degree of fever or two, and whether his rash was caused by his medicine,
or if he was-" 

"Well little Fraser doesn't exactly have the benefit of a grandmother's
experience around, does he?" Ray snapped as he pulled away from them and
paced in a limping gate around the room. "I'm doing the best I can,
Frannie. I've had a lot more experience than Benny has with babies but-" 

Ben crossed the room and took hold of Ray's shoulders. "There's no reason
for either of us to feel guilty about Fraser becoming ill, Ray. Infants
contract a multitude of illnesses as they--" He stopped his methodical and
logical dissertation and with a hand under his lover's chin lifted his
face and met his gaze. Ray's green eyes were dark with pain. Silently Ben
wrapped his arms around Ray and massaged the back of his neck. 

Ray relaxed against his lover's solid presence. Finally his hands came up
and he embraced his lover loosely. He basked in the solid comfort as Ben
stroked him, calming him and giving him strength. When his breathing had
settled to a slow rhythm Ben led him over to the padded recliner chair by
the crib. Ray allowed his lover to seat him and tuck a blanket around him.
Ray laid back and his eyes drifted closed. 

Satisfied that Ray was resting Ben led Francesca from the dimly lit room
into the hospital hall. "Thank you for coming, Francesca. It means a lot
to Ray to have you here." 

"It's okay, Benton. You don't have to thank me. Ray is my brother. How
could I not come? And Maria will be here in a little bit. She's waiting
for Tony to get home to watch the kids." 

"I understand," Ben said. "Francesca, what does maxed out mean?" 

"What? Maxed out? In reference to what? What was maxed out?" 

"It was in reference to a credit card I believe." 

"Oh. It just means you've charged up to the limit set on the card. Why?
Have you got a credit card that you've maxed out?" 

"No, I don't own a credit card." 

"Well it couldn't have been Ray's card that was maxed out. That guy has so
much credit it's ridiculous. He's always been so picky about paying bills
on time, keeping his credit record clean that companies are dying to get
him to take one of their cards. You should see him when he does the
household bills, every thing spread all over the table, each utility bill
meticulously checked and double checked. And they way he keeps records, I
swear he should'a been an accountant." 

"The household accounts? He is still doing them? How?" 

Francesca stopped and looked up at the Mountie. "I don't know. I suppose
he's having all his mail forwarded to your place. I mean your apartment,
his and your apartment," she fumbled to correct herself. 

Ben turned to look at the door to Fraser's room. His lover and his son
were both asleep in there, both ill and in need of a chance to heal, to
recover their strength. Fraser had tried his best to communicate his
distress with his crying and fussiness, the only way a baby had of letting
one know they were in need. But Ray had said nothing about his distress.
He'd never mentioned the credit card problem, the fact that he was not
only paying for part of their family's living expenses but those of his
mother, Francesca and Maria's family as well. 

How was Ray managing it? Well, he wasn't managing it, was he? Or the
credit card would not have been used to its limit. 

"There's Maria," Francesca said. 

"Ah." Ben nodded. "I expect she'll want to go in and see Ray?" 

"Of course," Frannie said a little surprised. She tugged at the Mountie
and got him moving back down the hall. "And she'll want an update on the
baby." 

They met Maria outside the closed door. "Good afternoon, Maria." Ben
nodded formally to her. 

"How is he? Can I go in and see him? The nurse at the desk didn't know
anything. What did the doctor say?" 

"Uh." Ben tried to sort through her questions and decide which should be
answered first. "Fraser is resting well." He was amazed at how alike the
sisters sounded. 

"The doctor expects him to get better real quick," Frannie answered her
sister. "And they don't expect him to have any lasting problems from it." 

"Good," Maria sighed the word. "Hey, where's that brother of mine? He
should be here tending to the baby, or at least lending you support,
Benton." 

"I assure you that Ray is here, Maria. He's inside with Fraser." 

"Yeah. Maria, Ray looks kinda . . ." Frannie paused and glanced up at the
Mountie. 

"What? He looks what?" Maria asked. 

"Um, tired," she finished. 

Ben opened the door as quietly as he could and the two women followed him
into the darkened room. He laid his hand on his sleeping son's back just
to reassure himself that the baby was doing well. His breaths were even
and deep. The monitors beeped and blinked as they should. Then Ben stepped
aside to allow Ray's sisters to see Fraser. 

As the two women murmured to each other he moved over to the recliner
where Ray was asleep. In the dim light he could see sparkles of wetness on
his lover's cheeks. After he and Francesca had left the room Ray had
cried. Ben pulled a Kleenex from the bedside table and gently wiped at
Ray's face. He bent to kiss the dried cheeks but stopped as he heard the
scrape of a sole on the floor at his side. He glanced up and saw Maria
staring at her brother. 

"You're right, Frannie. He doesn't look any better at all." 

* 

No more hospitals," Ray declared in a quiet but firm voice as Ben settled
their son in his crib by their bed. Dief padded in a circle at the end of
the crib and settled down on watch. 

Ben tucked the freshly laundered blanket around the baby's chin and sat
down on the bed beside his lover. Ray leaned heavily against him and Ben
took the opportunity to start undressing the detective. Ray relaxed
against him and let Ben's fingers find their own way to his buttons. 

"I mean it, Benny. I hereby put a moratorium on hospitals for this family.
We're forbidden to see the inside of one for at least . . ." he swung his
left arm wide, "oh, a year. Now that's not asking too much, is it?" 

Ben chuckled as he pulled the Armani jacket from Ray's right arm. "Not at
all. At least not for a "normal" family, Ray. But you need to remember
we're not exactly a "normal" nuclear family, are we?" 

"Not exactly. And I think you could count us as over the risk limit just
because we got two of us working in law enforcement. Never mind the rest
of our little "unusualness"." 

Ray joined in as Ben laughed at the absurd word. The Mountie removed the
rest of his lover's clothing and Ray lay back, sprawled wide in the bed. 

"Could you hang my suit up? I have to wear it again tomorrow. If you hang
it some of the wrinkles will fall out." 

"Didn't you pick up your dry cleaning today?" 

"I forgot to drop it off last week. It's all still in the closet. I'll get
to it tomorrow." 

Ben shucked his own clothes, being much less careful with how they ended
up heaped on the bedside table. He crawled up next to Ray and draped the
covers over their nude forms. With one arm resting over Ray's chest Ben
was soon fast asleep. 

As soon as the apartment was totally quiet Ray's eyes flew open. He
listened for what ever noise had awakened him but he heard nothing. Oh, he
heard plenty actually. The constant murmur of a city, traffic noises,
neighbors fighting, the distant wail of a siren. He could feel the pulse
of Benny's heart, hear Dief's cooling breaths. 

He gently shifted his lover's arm and rose from the bed. The foggy glow of
city lights washed the apartment in a pale silver as Ray pulled on a robe
and made his way cautiously around the bed to Fraser's crib. Dief raised
his head and Ray mouthed a greeting to the deaf wolf. Satisfied, Dief lay
his head back down on his paws. Ray gazed down at the cherubic features of
Fraser; pale, soft skin, dark curly hair. He so very much looked like Ben.
Ray reached out and traced a finger along one round cheek. 

"How am I gonna teach you to throw a baseball?" he whispered. "And how the
hell am I gonna do it here in this neighborhood? Even if I do get to where
I can hold a ball for more than five seconds without dropping the damn
thing . . . And I wanna teach you to ride a bike. I wanna be able to sit
on the front step and watch you show off after we take the training wheels
off--" 

Ray swallowed and wiped at the tear on his cheek. He drew a deep breath
and straightened up. Carefully, slowly and quietly he made his way back to
his side of the bed and crawled in beside his lover. In his sleep Ben
moved instinctively to Ray's side and molded himself to the slender man.
Ray sighed and relaxed in Ben's loose embrace. He tried to will himself to
sleep but it didn't come easily. 

A gentle patter of kisses, like raindrops, landed across Ray's brow. He
smiled but kept his eyes closed. Fraser had been home from the hospital
for two weeks and this was how Ben had woken him each morning of those two
weeks. 

"Cut it out, Brenda," Ray whined and made a feeble batting motion as he
rolled away. 

"Brenda?" Ben demanded in a shocked tone. In one swift motion he stripped
the covers from Ray. "Brenda? Did you call me--" he was interrupted as Ray
seemed to erupt from the bed, grabbing the Canadian around the hips and
trying to tickle every piece of flesh he could reach. 

"Ah! Ray!" Ben protested. "Stop! Stop or I'll retaliate." He pushed
ineffectually at the detective who never slowed for a moment. 

Ray laughed and redoubled his weak efforts, throwing in kisses and sharp
nips between tickles. 

"Lover!" Ben scolded him. He pushed Ray onto his back, trying to be
mindful of Ray's weakness. Ray hated acknowledging that he was still
having problems but Ben was always aware of what a struggle it was for Ray
to climb the stairs to their third floor apartment at the end of a long
shift. It was four months since that attack in the park. Ray had made
wonderful progress but he had a long way to go in his therapy before he
would be up to full strength in the left side of his body. 

"Ah Benny." Ray hooked his left hand around the back of the Mountie's neck
and urged him down for a kiss. 

Ben lowered himself over Ray, covering him and settling on him as if their
two bodies had been made for the sole purpose of fitting together this
way. He felt Ray's lean muscular frame beneath his broader one, his
lover's litheness a perfect compliment to Ben's own sturdy strength. He
smiled at the pleased expression that slid across Ray's face. Ray's lips
parted, his eyes drifted half closed and Ben followed the unspoken
invitation to a kiss. Their lips met and Ray groaned surprisingly harsh,
plainly needful. Ben worked his thighs between Ray's legs and spread the
detective's limbs wide. 

Ray pulled his mouth free and gasped then groped upward for Ben's mouth
again. Ben met him with an eager tongue, exploring Ray's mouth, searching
for his lover's tongue, stroking across sharp teeth to the hot moistness
inside. Between their kisses Ray murmured Ben's name. 

As his lover rocked his hips forward Ray arched up from the bed, pushing
himself against Ben. "Please. Benny. Please." 

Instead of speaking Ben shifted so that his erection was rubbing along
Ray's thigh. Ray moaned in appreciation and began rocking against Ben. His
own cock was not hard but he worked it against Ben's thigh as they pumped
together. 

"Benny, I want you." Ray breathed the words in his lover's ear. He
shifted, trying to pull his legs up and further apart. 

Ben buried his face in the crook of Ray's neck, breathing heavy as the
musk scent of Ray filled him. After a few more thrusts he eased up,
allowing Ray to achieve the position he wanted, his legs drawn up, and
Ben's cockhead resting against his hole. Ben reached a hand down between
them and fumbled for Ray, found him completely soft and hesitated. 

"Please," Ray moaned the word against Ben's chest as he pulled himself up.
He slid his hands down Ben's back to his firm buttocks and pulled his
lover forward. The precum that moistened the tip of Ben's cock was enough
wetness to ease his entry as Ben slipped inside his lover's ass. 

Ray gasped and arched back as the delicious sensation filled him. "Benny,
my sweet Benny," he murmured, his eyes screwed shut, his mind lost in the
wonder of the moment. 

With his lips set in a tight line Ben eased himself deep inside Ray. He
watched Ray's face for any sign of distress but all he saw was hot desire.
Lately it had been rare that they had made love this way, exceedingly
rare, he realized. He worked his hand up and down Ray's penis, pulling and
kneading from base to head. Suddenly Ray reached down and pulled Ben's
hand away. 

Ben stopped the almost lazy movement of his hips that he'd been making
purely by instinct. "Ray--" 

"Fuck me, Benny," Ray interrupted almost coldly. 

Shocked at the harshness of the words Ben tried to lock gazes with Ray but
his lover kept his eyes shut tightly. He could see the strain Ray was
exerting to keep a tight hold on him, to keep their bodies locked together
as they had rarely been since the attack in the park. Ben pushed his hips
forward, easing completely into Ray. It felt good to be joined like this,
to be so intimately mated with the one he loved. Ben rocked his hips back,
withdrawing, feeling the ring of Ray's ass muscle slide along his shaft.
Ray moaned and Ben thrust forward a little faster. Ray responded
beautifully. Ben rocked back and reveled in the response Ray gave to his
movements. Then he was thrusting, pumping deep in and out of Ray, trying
to keep his upper body steady so he could watch Ray's face as he made love
to him. 

Ray's mouth was open and he breathed harshly as Ben moved in and out of
him. Each plunge in pushed his breath out and he gasped in little
lungfulls of air between each thrust. 

Ben worked hard, his thigh muscles driving him back and forth, his arms
and shoulders working like steel springs with each movement. He felt his
balls, his ass, churning with the flush of sexual arousal and he longed to
cum inside Ray. He concentrated, trying to drive away the tension and
exhaustion that had been riding him, driving him for so long now. He
filled his mind with thoughts of Ray, Ray smiling, Ray kissing him, Ray in
the throws of orgasm. Beautiful, loving Ray. Ben felt beads of sweat
forming on his brow as he worked his cock inside his lover. 

Ray was gasping now, his hands locked around Benny's biceps. As his lover
rocked on and on, Ray's hands slid down to Benny's forearms, and his
elbows rested on the bed. His legs ached so he locked his heels together
behind Benny's back. He opened one eye just a crack and saw Benny's face
screwed up in concentration. Benny's eyes were clenched as tight as Ray's
had been. He saw the sweat on the man's brow. As he watched it formed
rivulets and rolled down the sides of his face. A drop splashed on Ray's
chest. 

His ass felt dry now but Ray clamped his lips together and held on to
Benny's arms. Benny kept pumping in him and when he saw Benny's eyes
flicker open Ray closed his. To his left Ray heard a rustling noise.
'Please, God, let it just be Dief shifting around,' Ray silently pleaded. 

"The baby," Ben said as he slowed his movements. 

"No!" Ray cried as he opened his eyes and hooked his fingers around the
backs of Benny's thighs. He pulled Benny back to him. "Don't stop." 

Ben began pumping again, but his face was turned to the crib. "He's waking
up, Ray." 

"Benny," Ray protested as he pulled his lover's face back around to him.
"Just a minute more." 

With renewed effort Benny pumped into him and Ray closed his eyes again.
Benny's thrusts grew more forceful and Ray felt himself being scooted
along the bed. He bit his lip to keep from crying out. Finally he had to
put a hand over his head to keep himself from bumping against the wall.
Ben's harsh breathing filled the room and Ray was grateful that Benny
didn't make any further protest as Fraser continued to stir. Soon, Benny
had to come soon, Ray hoped. 

He felt his lover's efforts grow erratic and his hope rose as he
recognized the disjointed pattern. Ben thrust hard once, small gasps of
almost-pain escaping him as orgasm overcame him. The Canadian thrust in
deep quick jerks as hot semen flooded from him in thick spurts. Ray clung
to him, almost beyond the point of exhaustion now but trying hard to feel
everything that his lover emptied into him. He concentrated on it,
imagining the white liquid as it left Benny and entered him. 

Finally Benny collapsed onto him, covering him with his sweat sheened
body. Ray lowered his shaking legs, feeling his muscles jump and quiver.
He raised an unsteady hand to wipe at the sweat running into Benny's eyes.
The Mountie shifted off of him and reached down for Ray's cock. Once again
Ray pushed his hand away. 

"But--" Ben protested. "Ray, don't you want to cum?" 

"The baby," Ray said, nodding toward the crib. 

Ben raised up on one elbow and looked at the crib. Fraser lay curled on
his side, his face peaceful in slumber. "He's gone back to sleep, Ray."
Ben reached for Ray and was pushed away again. 

Ray rolled away from his lover, unable to speak past the lump in his
throat. 

"You never got hard. Ray, talk to me." Ben stroked a hand lightly down
Ray's back. 

"I'm tired, that's all." Ray fought to keep his voice steady but Ben moved
over him, looking down at him. The detective felt a feather light touch on
his eyelashes. Ben wiped away the moisture of his tears. Then Ray felt
himself gathered up into Ben's arms, cradled and rocked as Benny held him
and loved him. 

"I took too long." 

"No," Ray protested as he scrubbed a hand across his eyes. 

"I did," Ben insisted. "I don't know what's wrong with me. It's not like
I'm getting too much of it," he said then laughed nervously. "I mean we
haven't exactly been--" 

The ringing of Ray's cell phone interrupted him. Automatically Ben reached
over Ray to retrieve the phone from it's charging unit. He flipped it open
and handed it to Ray. 

Ray struggled to sit upright. "Vecchio." 

The side of the conversation that Ben could hear brought him a sense of
almost overwhelming disappointment. 

"It's all right, Mrs. Wilson. I'll call someone else to sit with the baby
today. Yes," Ray said into the phone. "Just take care of your cold. Hope
you feel better soon. Bye." 

Ben took the phone from Ray's lax hand and put it back in the charger.
There would be no other call. There was no one else who would take care of
Fraser here in the apartment. The list of people willing to come into this
neighborhood, who were responsible and trustworthy enough to care for
their child was quite a short one. "The daycare center over on Colfax--" 

"No way, Benny. I'm not taking him there again. That place is full of
germs and he just got out of the hospital." Ray swung his legs over the
side of the bed and tugged his robe from the bedpost. 

"Fraser is not just out of the hospital, Ray. He's been out for twelve
days and--" 

"I said no!" Ray tied the robe closed and moved into the kitchen. He
filled a glass with the tepid water from the tap and drank it down in
gulps. Suddenly Ben was behind him, pressed up against his back. 

"I'll take him with me to the consulate. The delegation from Japan isn't
due until noon. And you take the car. I need the walk today." Ben
desperately needed the walk. He'd planned to leave the apartment before
dawn and go east to the waterfront. He missed the solitude and quiet of
the evening and early morning excursions he used to be able to take. And
besides, Diefenbaker was getting lazy and Ben was determined to get him
out and about today. 

"I'll be through at the court house well before noon." Ray leaned back
into Ben's embrace. 

"I'm proud of you, Ray. That case you closed was pretty impressive." 

Ray smiled and turned in Ben's arms. "Impressive, eh? Now what makes you
say that, Benny? I don't think I've ever heard you say anything quite like
that before." 

"I heard what Ms. St. Laurent said about you to Lieutenant Welsh. This
will mean a promotion when the press conference details your actions. I
wish I could be there in person to see you up on the dais with the
commissioner and the district attorney and Ms. St. Laurent." Ben's eyes
flicked across the room to the closet. "Don't you have a better suit to
wear than that--" 

"I got a clean shirt," Ray interrupted and kissed Ben's nose playfully.
"I'll look fine. And you're gonna see me on T V, right?" He pulled away
and began preparing a pot of coffee. 

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, sweetheart." 

Ray's eyebrows rose. "Sweetheart?" He grinned broadly. 

"Yes," Ben replied as he hugged Ray to him again. "My sweetheart. My
lover." He stole a quick kiss but found it returned in double strength. 

Ray pulled Ben to him and the Mountie gathered the detective close.
Suddenly they both pulled away and turned to the crib. 

Sleepy round blue eyes regarded the two men. Fraser sat in the middle of
the crib, his stuffed bear clutched in one hand, his blue blanket in the
other. 

"Just like his dad," Ben said as he stroked the back of Ray's hand that
was twisted in the lapel of Ben's robe. 

"What?" Ray asked. 

"Hanging on to what he loves," Ben said as he looked pointedly at Ray's
hand. 

"Oh, me? You mean me?" Ray blushed and smiled. 

"Yes. And don't you ever let go." 

"Why, Benton Fraser." Ray said in a falsetto voice as he batted his
eyelashes. "I don't believe I've ever heard you talk this way before. 

"Then it's certainly time you did, Ray. I've noticed how Fraser responds
to the nonsense speeches you give him when you are attending to his needs.
Apparently that form of verbal stroking is an important part of human
development. I've noticed how he responds to you. And I want to be sure he
responds to me in the same positive way." 

"Nonsense speeches?" Ray asked indignantly. "I sure hope you're not
referring to the advice I've been giving him--" 

"Ah. Is that what you call it? Advice? Such as telling him the proper way
to order pizza? And you give him this same advice every time you give him
a bath. And then there's the bit of advice he gets every time you put
lotion on him." 

"You mean that sage and vital information on the proper way to hail a cab?
Hey the kid's gotta learn some time." 

"I see." Ben followed Ray to the crib. As the cop lifted the infant and
cuddled him Ben kissed the baby's tousled curls. "Then I think I should
start educating him in the proper care and maintenance of dog sled
harnesses." He lifted Fraser from Ray's arms and laid the baby on the
changing table and began removing his one piece pajama suit. "Now son, as
you will soon learn a team's harness is only as strong as it's thinnest
strip of leather--" 

"You really are a nut, Benton Fraser. You know that?" Ray gave his love a
quick hug before beginning his own morning preparations. * 

"God damn--" Ray clenched his lips to silence his outburst. He laid the
phone receiver down on his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose between
his left thumb and forefinger. The pressure behind his eyes grew despite
his efforts to calm down. 

"Detective? Are you still there?" 

Ray heard Ovitz' tinny voice from the receiver and brought it back up to
his ear. "Yeah. I'm here. I'm supposed to be leaving for the court house
in ten minutes. How early will the Japanese delegate be arriving?" 

As he listened to the answer Ray felt like swearing again but it wouldn't
do any good. Ben hadn't mentioned this morning that Thatcher was being
reviewed this week. If Ovitz hadn't let that slip Ray would have assumed
Ben could handle the delegation's change in schedule without much of a
repercussion. But if the Dragon Lady got a bad review, if something
happened that caused Ben to lose the cushion of security her good will
provided, then their family could be in for some rough times. Margaret
Thatcher had been more than understanding and accommodating during their
problems lately. Hell, Ray realized, without Meg's help they might not
even be a family. 

"Ovitz, I'm on my way to the consulate. Just be sure someone will let me
in. I don't want to get held at the front door because of some extra
security or anything." 

He handled the Riv pretty smoothly during the drive to the consulate. Ray
didn't hesitate a second about parking in front of the fire hydrant. He
left the spinning red light on his dash and entered the consulate.
Bypassing the stairs with relief Ray rode the elevator to the second floor
and entered his lover's small office. Dief trotted over to greet him. 

"Hey Dief. You in here on guard duty?" Ray asked, sparing a second to
scratch the wolf behind the ear. Fraser looked up from the quilt that was
spread in the patch of sunlight afforded by Ben's office window. The baby
broke into a wide gaptoothed smile and gurgled with delight. 

"Ah." Ray smiled and dropped down on his hands and knees. "And how's my
boy, eh? How's my little Mountie? Hard at work helping Daddy and Dief
guard Canadian soil?" 

The murmur of a T V intruded on his happy mood and Ray glanced up at Ben's
desk. The news conference which he was supposed to be attending was just
coming on. The office door behind him burst open and Ben came rushing in. 

Ben was halfway across the small space to the baby before he could stop
himself. Surprise registered on his face when he saw Ray there. "Ray!
You're supposed to be--" 

"Constable," Inspector Thatcher called harshly from the open door. "You're
supposed to be downstairs right now. The--" 

"Go, Benny," Ray said as he made a shooing motion toward the door. 

"But Ray--" 

"Constable!" 

This time Ray recognized a note of panic in the Dragon Lady's voice. Ray
turned back to his son and began gathering his things up and stuffing them
in his diaper bag. He glanced back at the door and met Ben's eyes for a
second as the Mountie went reluctantly from the office. 

Ray struggled to his feet and bent over to lift Fraser. Meg was suddenly
there helping him, not letting go until she was sure Ray was balanced and
had a firm hold on the baby. Fraser wrapped his little arms tightly around
Ray's neck and leaned his head on his dad's shoulder. Ray wasn't sure if
he sensed the weakness in him and did all that he could to make things
easier or if Fraser simply cuddled more when he was carrying him than when
Ben was carrying him. Regardless of the reason Ray was grateful. 

"Thank you, Vecchio," Meg said softly, caressing the back of Fraser's
head. 

Ray saw the softening of Meg's features as she stroked his son's hair. It
brought back memories of Meg helping him locate Fraser, and the
arrangements they made together to bring the baby to Ben. He and Ben owed
this woman a debt they could never repay with mere words or deeds.
"Inspector," Ray whispered. "Thank you for all that you've done for my
family." 

A look of surprise flickered across the inspector's face. She stared
wide-eyed at him. "I do believe I here sincerity in your voice, Vecchio."
She stroked Fraser's hair again and laid a hand on Ray's shoulder. 

"From the bottom of my heart, Meg." Ray nodded to the inspector and he and
the wolf made their way to the Riv. * 

The day had been entirely too long, Benton Fraser thought as he climbed
the stairs of 221 West Racine. He'd tried to find the time to call Ray
during the day but never managed it. Negotiations hadn't gone well but
none of that would reflect on Inspector Thatcher or her staff. Her review
was going exceedingly well, Ben felt and he was heartened to see an actual
smile on her face when he left the consulate. 

An echo of that smile touched his face as he entered apartment 3 J. Ray
and their son were lying on the floor on a quilt. Ray lay on his back,
apparently fast asleep. Fraser crawled about, stacking blocks on the cop's
stomach while Dief looked on from the middle of the unmade bed. 

"Hello Fraser," Ben said in a hushed tone as he squatted down by the two
humans. His son gave him a wet grin. 

"Da," Fraser said and held his arms up to Ben. 

Ben's breath caught in his throat. "Da? Did you say Da?" He dropped to his
knees and peered at his son. "Da?" 

"Da," Fraser said and gurgled, drool running down his chin. 

"Wha?" Ray stirred, knocking blocks from his stomach. He tried to rise up
on his left elbow but slipped back flat. 

"Ray, he said Da!" Ben exclaimed. "Did you hear that?" 

"Umm." Ray scrubbed at his eyes and peered up at Ben. "Um, yeah. He's said
it a couple of times today." Ray rolled onto his left side and managed to
sit up. He peered at Ben who seemed to be studying Fraser as if he were
some new kind of life form. Ray chuckled. "You make quite a picture, you
know." 

"Well," Ben said as he rocked back onto his heels and regarded Ray, "I
suppose I do. But it's quite a shock when he" and he stopped to point a
long finger at the baby, then leaned forward and kissed his son's
forehead, "finally decides to try to say the one word I've ever tried to
teach him. After all you would think that if he could say Dief at six
months and Auntie at seven then he should have been able to form the
simple sound of Da well before nine months of age." 

"Ah but Benny, you don't seem to realize we lack the charm of Auntie
Frannie and Auntie Maria and we ain't got nice fur like Dief does. Well I
take that back. One of us does have a pretty impressive pelt but it ain't
white." 

"Ray! Honestly. That's awfully picky of you." 

"Oh now don't get in such a snit." 

"I'm not," Ben argued as he rose and moved to the kitchen. 

"Oh yes you are," Ray called from his spot on the floor. He began to help
Fraser restack his blocks. 

"I am not," Ben insisted as he began making supper. "Are you and Fraser in
the mood for some stew?" 

"Would it matter if I said, no?" 

"Well actually, I suppose not. But I suppose take-out is out of the budget
right now." 

"It is until we get the consulate to finish the paperwork on Fraser's
medical bills. Did I tell you they'll cover everything except the
medication he received while in the hospital? And the office calls weren't
covered either. But with the supplemental health insurance that I'm
getting for him he'll be completely covered for anything in the future,
which, by the way," Ray said, turning to his son, "you are not allowed to
need. No more hospitals, remember?" 

Fraser solemnly regarded his father then broke into a wet grin. "Da." 

"That's right, kiddo. Every time I give you an order you better be sure
you follow it. We won't have no problems, will we, pal?" Ray leaned over
and kissed Fraser's wet cheek. "Baby drool. Never thought I'd be able to
stand baby drool." He shot a look at the bed. "But don't let that give you
any ideas, Dief. Doggie drool is way beyond my tolerance limit." 

"I did mention that Francesca would be over this evening, didn't I?" Ben
asked just as a knock sounded on the apartment door. 

"Frannie? Hell Benny, the place is a mess!" Ray scrambled to his feet and
shooed Dief of the bed. He ignored the repeated knock on the door as he
hastily made the bed. He straightened the cushions on the couch, gathering
an armful of newspaper as he moved from there to the kitchen. 

"Come in, Francesca," Ben called as he stirred vegetables into a pot. 

Ray growled at his lover's back and tugged his wrinkled shirt straight. 

Francesca ignored her brother and Ben as she entered and made a straight
line for the baby. "Ohh!" she squealed. "How's my big boy? How's my sweet
baby? Ohh! You've grown so much! Come to Auntie Frannie you sweet baby!
Ray, how lucky he is that he doesn't look a thing like you," she said as
she scooped up the giggling baby. 

Fraser drooled on her blouse and Frannie delivered kisses all over his
round cheeks. 

"Hey, watch the lipstick," Ray protested. 

"Oh, he doesn't mind. Do you little Fraser? You don't mind Auntie
Frannie's lipstick? Huh? Can you say . . . Auntie?" she prompted
energetically. 

Fraser laughed and gave her a wet kiss. 

As the three adults sat around the dinner table relaxing after a meal of
stew and cornbread Ben studied Ray's profile. He looked exhausted. The
dark circles under his eyes made his skin look pale and Ben compared Ray's
coloring to his sister's. Francesca was darker. Yes, Ray really did look
as if he had lost color. 

"How's work going?" Ray asked. 

"Pretty good now. I'm on full time and between the work at the salon and
sales from my network marketing stuff I'm making ends meet and saving some
too." 

"That's wonderful to hear, Francesca. I realize how hard it is to try to
maintain a home when you can't afford the basics." Ben said as he began
clearing the dishes. 

Ray turned to Ben and regarded him with a quizical look. 

"I'm sure a large house such as you live in must be quite expensive to
maintain," the Mountie continued. 

"Well, yeah. I never thought about it." Frannie leaned back and glanced
from her brother to Ben. "I mean with all of us there the utility bills
must be pretty high. I'd hate to be paying those . . . . by myself." 

"I'm sure," Ben said. He fetched the tea kettle and cups and brought them
to the table. Avoiding Ray's eyes he began pouring. "But with Tony working
at the mechanic's shop and Maria's part time job I'm sure that you can
manage quite well." 

"Yes," Francesca said quietly. "We could." She took the offered cup of tea
and reflexively returned Ben's pleasant smile. 

"Benny," Ray began but was interrupted. 

"I do hope you'll pardon me, Francesca, Ray, but I forgot that I promised
Mr. Mustafi that I'd help him retrieve a box from the basement storage."
He slid his chair back from the table. "I'll only be a moment or two.
Dief," he called as he opened the apartment door. The wolf was through the
opening in a flash. 

Ray stared at his cup, unwilling to look up at his sister. He was keenly
aware of the rumpled state of his clothing, the floor that needed
polishing, the windows that needed scrubbing, and also aware of Frannie's
nervousness. He looked across the room where Fraser lay fast asleep in his
crib. Soon Fraser would outgrow that crib. He'd need a real bed. He'd need
more clothing, good shoes, a bigger car seat. 

And today Ray'd missed that damn press conference. His chances for that
promotion had slipped away with the missed opportunity at gaining some
visibility. It was easy to be overlooked when no one saw you. Politics.
Ray hated the politics of the police force. 

"Frannie, I've been having all the utility bills sent to my post box. And
the house insurance, the taxes too." 

"I didn't realize, Ray. I guess it just never occurred to me. And you've
been paying the grocer too. The one Ma orders from. He's never sent a bill
to the house." 

"Yeah." Ray swallowed. "It wasn't much of a problem, what with Benny's and
my salary. But it's kind of expensive, a baby." 

"And you've been off work. That must have set you back some." 

"Yeah," he said, finally managing to meet her eyes. "There were a few
unexpected things." 

"Even if there hadn't been unexpected things, Ray, we still should be
paying our part. You have the bills sent to the house. We can pay them.
And if not," she held up a hand to stop his forming protest, "we'll let
you know. Sound fair?" 

Ray thought about it for a moment then shook his head. "The utility bills,
maybe. I'll keep paying the grocer." 

"That leaves you with the taxes, insurance and the grocer? I don't think
it'll be a problem for Tony to start paying the grocer. After all, he eats
more than all the rest of us put together. And if he can't pay it?" she
shrugged and grinned. "He doesn't eat!" 

A smile broke slowly across Ray's face. Then he chuckled. Soon Frannie
joined in and they were laughing as if she'd told an outrageously funny
joke. 

"Oh," Ray said between laughs, "Oh, I can't imagine anything that would
motivate Tony more than food!" 

"Yeah," Frannie agreed. "And wine. Don't forget wine. Maria's always
ragging on him about how he has to have good wine with dinner. As if he'd
know the difference if he didn't read the label." She started laughing
again and that got Ray laughing again too. * 

A babbling nine month old baby is not exactly conducive to leisurely
driving, Ray thought as he navigated through the five o'clock rush hour
traffic. Diefenbaker paced impatiently from side to side across the back
seat of the Riviera and Ray tried to spare a hand from driving to dig
around in the middle of the front seat for Fraser's plastic keys. 

"Keys! Keys!" Fraser insisted as he struggled with the shoulder straps on
his new car seat. Once again he'd grown tired of banging them against the
passenger window and had flung them down. 

"Now listen here, young man, I'm trying to find your keys. If you'd stop
throwing them down you wouldn't have to be without them." Ray was growing
tired of the logical approach and was grateful when the traffic lightened
up enough that he could afford to glance down at the seat. He spied the
colorful oversized plastic keys and handed them across to his son. 

"Da keys. Keys." 

Ray's left eyebrow rose as he eyed the baby. "Yes Da's keys and Fraser's
keys. And I'll keep mine," he explained, pointing at the keys dangling
from the Riv's ignition, "and you'll keep yours. Right?" 

"Right. Keys, keys, keys, keys." Fraser banged the plastic keys against
his car seat. 

'Fraser, say 'right, Daddy'." 

"Right, Daddy, right, Daddy, right, Daddy." 

Ray grinned proudly and tickled Fraser under the chin. He slowed as he
turned onto Racine street. His usual parking spot was open and Dief was
whining with impatience to be out of the car. Ray parked and unbuckled his
son. He was reaching over Fraser to open the car door to let the wolf slip
out when a body crashed against the passenger window. 

Dief lunged at the window barking and growling fiercely. Fraser began to
wail in terror as Ray froze half leaning over his son. 

A dark figure slammed against the glass again and then was pulled away. A
tall black man in a grease stained work shirt and jeans fell to the ground
by the Riv as a burly white man kicked him in the leg. The black man rose
and began punching the white man. They stumbled back against the Riv and
Dief sprang over the back seat and wedged himself in the tiny space
between the door and Fraser's now empty car seat. The baby was wrapped
tightly in Ray's arms. 

Neighbors gathered outside on the street at a distance to watch the
vicious fight as it was waged in front of the apartment building at 221. 

Constable Benton Fraser felt a spring in his stride as he rounded the
corner onto West Racine street. He'd enjoyed the walk home and fully
expected to arrive before Ray and Fraser. The shouts up ahead caught his
attention and he broke into a run, threading his way through the gathering
crowd to see two men battling fiercely between the Riv and his apartment
building. 

One man had a bloody knife drawn and was slashing wildly at the other. Ben
stepped behind the armed assailant and felled him with a kick to the back
of his knees. He danced back from the man's reach and kicked the knife
from his grasp. He glanced up and saw Ray's blank face staring at the man
on the ground. Fraser was struggling in Ray's embrace. Ben could hear
Dief's snarls and vicious barks through the closed windows of the Riv. The
wolf was frantic to get out. Ben followed the direction of Dief's glares
and saw the other combatant still on his feet. 

The man closed in for a half hearted attack but the Mountie stopped his
forward momentum with a stiff armed block to the chest. The man crumpled,
clutching his slashed side. Ben rolled the first man onto his stomach and
securely bound him with his lanyard. Then he turned his attention to the
man who was bleeding. 

"Ray, have you called this in?" he shouted in the direction of the Riv as
he applied pressure to the wound. Ray didn't move. 

"Mr. Mustafi," Ben called to his neighbor. "Would you please summon an
ambulance for this man and then notify Chicago police of the altercation?"


"Not necessary, Constable. Mrs. Gamez called the police when the fight
started." 

Ben cocked his head and listened to the sirens in the distance. They were
indeed getting closer. "I see. Thank you kindly, Mrs. Gamez," he called up
to the lady's window. She waved to him and closed her window. 

A patrol car was first on the scene and Ben gratefully relinquished his
position over the injured man to the officers. The ambulance arrived and
Ben approached the Riv. Dief was still growling and he could now hear that
Fraser was crying as he struggled in Ray's unyielding arms. Ben pulled on
the passenger door handle and discovered it was locked. 

"Ray?" He squatted down to peer in the window. Ray was staring at the
paramedics as they worked on the knifed man. Ben moved so that he blocked
Ray's sight of the scene but now Ray seemed to be staring straight through
him. Fraser was pushing against Ray's iron grip while big tears rolled
down his flushed round cheeks. 

"Dief, be quiet," Ben said, fully aware that Diefenbaker would understand
him through the closed glass. The wolf stopped his snarling and jumped
into the back seat. "Ray. Ray, open the door," Ben said as he tapped on
the glass. Ray didn't move. 

Ben rose from his crouch by the Riv and hurried past the paramedics and
the police officers. He was back in a few seconds with his spare keys to
the Riviera. The knifed man was loaded into the ambulance and Ben
approached the Riv as the emergency vehicles left the scene. The street
was amazingly quiet now. He unlocked the passenger door and opened it.
Dief whined at him but didn't move to leave the vehicle. Fraser had
quieted and lay with his head on Ray's shoulder, an occasional hiccup from
crying so hard escaping him. 

"Ray? It's over now. It's okay. You can get out now." 

Slowly Ray turned his head and regarded Ben as if he were a stranger. Ben
reached for him, laying a hand on Ray's arm. "Lets go inside now." 

Ray drew a deep, shuddering breath and softened his hold on the baby, He
stroked Fraser's hair, smoothing the sweat-dampened black curls back from
the boy's forehead. Fraser hiccuped and let out a final whimper. Ray laid
his cheek on Fraser's head, never acknowledging Ben. 

"Ray?" Ben studied his lover. Finally he stood and closed the passenger
door. Ben walked around to the driver's side and unlocked that door. He
leaned in the Riv and nudging and shifting got Ray to slide to his right.
Because of the car seat that was buckled into the passenger side he
couldn't move Ray all the way over. The detective sat in middle and Ben
slid in beside him. After locking the door Ben took Fraser from Ray and
buckled the now cooperative nine-month-old in his car seat. 

Ben started the Riv and drove his family away from the neighborhood they'd
experienced so much in. * 

Dark, cool and quiet surrounded him. Ray rolled onto his back and regarded
the hotel room ceiling. To his left he heard Benny's even, deep breaths as
the exhausted man slept. Up on the fifth floor they had no traffic noise
from the Chicago streets to disturb them. The door to their room was
double locked and Ray saw the glint of the chain fastened across it. Dief
lay against the bottom of the door, his white ruff stirring with the
breeze of the air current under the door. Ray's gaze drifted over to see
Fraser curled up under a blanket in the crib the hotel bell-hop had
wheeled in an hour after Benny had checked them in here. 

Pressure squeezed his chest. Ray turned his head and calculated the
distance from the bed to the bathroom door. He should be able to make that
without stumbling, without making any noise that would rouse Benny. Once
inside he could lock the door, turn on the exhaust fan or the shower.
Either one would mask his noises. He struggled to rise silently. He had to
get moving soon. 

It was coming. 

His chest heaved as Ray fought to remain silent. He swung his legs over
the side of the bed and a small sob escaped his lips. He pressed his left
hand over his mouth and used his right to push up from the bed. Faster, he
had to move faster. Another sob squeezed his throat and Ray gasped, trying
to swallow it. Behind him the bed sheet rustled and Ray lurched toward the
bathroom. He caught his shoulder on the door frame and collapsed through
it onto the cold tile floor. 

Tears blinded him and his weakened left side betrayed him as he struggled
to turn and close the door. Warm hands, gentle and firm enveloped his body
and Benny lifted him, carrying him back to the bed. Breath fled from his
body as the soft mattress gave under his and Benny's weight. Ray struggled
to turn from his lover, to escape his sight as the great terror washed
over him. 

The dark pain filled his mind like a roaring windstorm and Ray was lost,
buffeted by its whims, its disjointed shadowy visions of fists, clubs, and
boots striking him. Ray cried out as sensations of each blow rolled over
him. He struggled as tears of horror, helplessness and fear flowed from
his eyes. He covered his face, curling into a tight ball, riding it out as
best he could. The cycle would drag every sensation of horror from the
depths of his mind, force him to relive the pain over again, stripping him
of whatever reserve he'd managed to build over the last few days since the
last time it had burned like wildfire through his body. 

It brought all of the pain back, but none of the memories. 

Every limb shook as mind numbing terror rocked through him and the cycle
came closer to the point where he would lose consciousness. It didn't
matter that he didn't remember receiving the injuries. He had scars,
broken bones that told the story. The memories might never come but he
would have the marks, what Benny told him and what the doctor's report
said to help him make the connection to the beating he'd received. 

A low rumble shook his eardrums and Ray clutched his hands over his head.
The rumble came again and vaguely he recognized it as his own name.
Calling him? Someone was calling him? Was it time to come home? No. He
wouldn't come. They'd just have to go away. He was going to stay here,
safe away from everything, everybody. 

"Ray! Listen to me. We're safe here. We're all right. Listen to me, Ray." 

The windstorm lulled and Ray felt as if he were falling. He reached out,
grabbing for a safety hold and clung to it. Again that voice called to him
but Ray felt himself slipping away from it, unable to make a connection. 

"Ray. I've got you. You're all right. Everything is all right." 

"Benny? God, Benny! They're all around us. We'll never make it out of the
park. Fraser . . ." 

"Fraser is fine, Ray. Fraser is here with us. He's safe." 

Ray panted, trying to catch his breath but he felt too light headed. He
knew he had to slow his breathing down or he'd never leave the dark place.


"Fraser-- Benny you gotta get him to safety." 

"I did, Ray. I took Fraser and got him out of the park. You stayed behind
to give us a chance to get away." 

Ray worked his fingers into the material under his hands. He opened his
eyes but everything was dark. He couldn't make out where he was. 

"Fraser is just fine, Ray. You fought the thugs and gave me time to get
him to safety. The baby is fine, Ray. It's over." 

"Fraser is fine," Ray said weakly. "Fraser is fine." He loosened his hold
on what he decided must be bed sheets and felt for Benny. "It's over." 

"Ray, do you remember the attack? Do you remember what happened in the
park?" 

"Ungh," Ray grunted as he sat up and wiped tears from his face. Shadowy
shapes coalesced around him and he began to make sense of their form. "Oh,
the hotel. We're at the hotel." 

"Yes." Ben said then kissed Ray's damp cheek. "You were having a
nightmare." Ray chuckled and Ben felt chilled at the sound. 

"I suppose you could call it that." 

"What do you mean by that, Ray?" Ben flipped on the bedside lamp and
flinched as Ray jerked away from him and the light. "Are you all right?
Did I hurt you?" 

"That's just bright, is all." Ray wiped his sleeve over his face. "Wasn't
expecting it." 

"You were remembering the attack." 

Ray glanced up sharply at the man. "Was I?" he asked in surprise. 

"Yes." Ben ran an arm around Ray's shoulder, drawing him back to his side.
"You were talking about it, when you were crying." 

Ray ducked his head and tried to shrug off his lover's touch. "Could we
not talk about this? I'm tired and I wanna get back to sleep." 

"Certainly, Ray. We'll get back to sleep right after we talk about it." 

Ray gaped at him. "Did you not hear me? I don't wanna--" 

"Yes. I heard. You were remembering the attack." 

"Benny I don't remember a damned thing about the attack." 

"Where did it happen, Ray?" 

"In the park." Ray eyed him with annoyance. "That much I know from the
police report. 

Ben seemed to consider this for a moment. "The time of day, I suppose you
know that from the report too." 

"Yes." Ray scooted back and leaned against the headboard and regarded Ben
defensively. 

"The first blow you took. Do you remember that?" 

"Benny! I don't-- Oh!" Ray stopped, his hand covering his mouth as he
stared in surprise at Ben. "I don't remember but I do. I mean, I don't
remember the attack, the actual blows. But Benny, I do remember being
attacked. I think what I mean is, I remember being hit. Over and over.
Oh." He leaned forward, his arms wrapped protectively over his ribs. 

If his lover pressed him for further information Ray was unaware of it. He
slid down onto his side, curled away from the lamp and stayed as still as
possible, ignoring everything around him. The windstorm of terror was over
for now, having burned through him, leaving him exhausted and weak. A
familiar warmth settled along his back, curled against him, molded around
him, quiet, still and peaceful. Finally his thoughts slowed enough and Ray
slept. * 

Room service in this hotel was economically speaking, not the best move
for them at this point but Ben had ordered breakfast for them anyway.
After the bell hop left the food Ray let Fraser down onto the carpeted
floor and joined Ben at the table. 

Ben poured cream into Ray's coffee and stirred it. "Eggs and bacon. I also
ordered you a waffle. If we don't eat quickly we'll miss lunchtime," he
said with a smile. 

Ray took the offered coffee and glanced at the plate Ben uncovered. He
turned and watched Fraser exploring the inside of his diaper bag. The baby
began pulling out plastic rings, fresh diapers and diapering supplies. 

"I was beaten. Pretty bad. I don't remember any faces, or even where in
the park it happened, but I remember that I was beaten." Ray looked up
into Ben's blue eyes. "It was pretty vicious, wasn't it Benny?" 

Ben closed his eyes and swallowed as tears sparkled in his eyes. He
nodded. "Yes, it was vicious, Ray. I almost lost you." 

"Oh. It feels weird, being able to connect the injuries to something.
Before, it was like I just woke up, and there were all these bruises,
broken bones and stuff, you know? It's more real now. I guess." Ray sat
the coffee down and turned his plate around to survey the eggs. 

"I guess," Ben agreed as he reached out and laid his left hand on Ray's
arm. "The memories, even though you don't have them, they've been haunting
you?" 

"I don't know. I just thought it was some kind of waking nightmare. It
comes over me sometimes. Makes me cry. I hate crying, Benny." He kept his
face lowered. 

"You've hidden this from me?" Ben asked softly. 

"I suppose I have. I don't think I really meant to. It's just that you
have so much to deal with. You don't need me having some . . . I dunno,
like a day-mare I guess, messing up your life." 

"Ray. Please, in the future, never keep things like this from me. We have
to learn to tell each other what is happening, what we need." 

Ray looked up at his lover. Benny's blue eyes were dark, almost haunting
in the intensity of their color. He reached out and traced a finger along
the unshaven jaw. Benny closed his eyes and leaned into Ray's casual
caress. After a moment Ray leaned back and turned his plate around again.
He picked up a piece of toast and munched at it. 

Ben ate his own breakfast, then the waffle he'd ordered for Ray. Ray
finally pulled Fraser up into his lap and fed some of the eggs to him.
Fraser threw two handfuls of them at Dief. 

"Fraser, that is not the way to feed a wolf," Ben objected. 

Ray watched silently as Fraser and Ben had a one-sided discussion on the
proper feeding of lupines. 

Darkness fell again over Chicago and Ray watched from the hotel room
window as the city lights came on. Day, night, it didn't really matter. He
listened to the soft noises of Ben rustling around, settling Fraser down
to sleep. 

Studying the street below him Ray suddenly realized he didn't even know
what hotel they were in. Benny had led him in, seemingly straight to the
elevator and into this room. Concentrating, he managed to recall stopping
at the reception desk. Benny had filled out a guest card. Yes, Ray
remembered that. And had shown his badge, explaining that Dief was with
the two officers in an "official capacity". Ray almost smiled at the
memory. He was surprised that on a weekend the hotel had a room available
without a reservation. 

"Come," Ben said as he tugged Ray away from the window. 

The Mountie undressed him as he moved him to the bed. Ray stretched out
and sighed. "Lucky you found a room. But this place must be expensive." 

"It doesn't matter, Ray. We won't be here long. 

Ray nodded. He let his gaze drift from Benny's even features to the blank
ceiling. 

"We're moving." 

"Off the bed?" Ray asked. 

"You've told me how much you need to move. I've ignored you. So why should
you tell me about these day-mares? I would just ignore you more." Ben
leaned over and kissed Ray lightly on his parted lips. "Tomorrow we start
searching for a new apartment. We can stay here in the hotel until we find
a new place. It shouldn't take long." 

Ray drew in a deep breath and shuddered. Benny's arms came down, enfolding
and lifting him into an embrace warm with love. He laid his head on
Benny's chest and sighed as a few tears escaped his eyes. 

"We can add this to our list of family policy," Ben said, a smile on his
lips. "No hospitals, and we tell each other what we need. And when we do?"


Ray waited, finally growing impatient. He pushed away and looked into
Ben's smiling eyes. "When we do . . . what?" 

"We listen," Ben finished and kissed Ray. * 

"Well, you'll just have to get used to using the elevator," Ben chided
Diefenbaker as the wolf followed the Mountie into the high rise building.
Ben juggled his hold on the pasteboard boxes that held the last of their
possessions from the West Racine apartment. "I can't seem to reach the
elevator call button. I don't suppose you'd mind . . . " Ben glanced down
at the wolf. "No, I guess you'd rather not . . . Then I suppose that
leaves the stairs?" 

Diefenbaker promptly dropped onto his haunches beside the elevator door
and stared up at the Mountie. "Ah. Well if that's how it's to be," Ben
said in a rather stressed tone as he sat the boxes down and pushed the
button, "then you'll have to rely on Ray or myself to escort you out of
the building every time you need to . . . " he paused and quirked an
eyebrow up, "you know." 

The elevator door opened and Ben stepped back, nodding his head to the two
elderly women who exited the lift car. "Good day, ladies." 

"Ah, Constable Benton Fraser, isn't it?" the first one off the car offered
her hand to him. "You're our new neighbor on the tenth floor. My sister
Camilla and I just met your little Fraser. What a charmer he is." 

"And this must be Diefenbaker," Camilla said as she stroked the wolf's
head. "Ben, your nice Ray said the wolf likes donuts, I don't have a
donut, Diefenbaker." Camilla continued, seeming to jump from speaking to
the Mountie to the wolf without drawing a breath. She extracting a small
package from her voluminous straw purse, "but I do have a cookie. Here you
go!" she exclaimed as she offered the wolf the treat. 

"Ah, sweets aren't exactly--" 

"Sunday lunch at our apartment, Ben. Now don't you and Ray get so busy
settling in that you forget to come over. We'll eat out on the balcony." 

"Sunday lunch? I won't forget, ma'am." 

"And Diefenbaker, we'll have a nice bowl of chicken for you. Wolves need
lots of meat, don't they, Carinna?" 

"Certainly, Camilla. Now we're off for our morning constitutional through
Grant park. Ray said that Diefenbaker might like to accompany us?" She
looked up at the tall Mountie. 

"Ah--" 

Dief rose and strolled regally to the glass doors of the apartment
building. Ben could see the well groomed park across the street. He
shrugged, smiled at the ladies as they moved off after the waiting wolf,
then retrieved his boxes and slipped in the elevator as the doors were
closing. The button for the tenth floor was just at elbow height and he
managed it easily. 

As the doors opened on the tenth floor Ray stood in the hall, his arms
crossed, his legs planted wide and a big grin on his face. 

"My big strong moving man. Here with your final delivery, mister? I
suppose you'll be expecting to get a little payment?" 

"Ray, I just met two of our neighbors. Dief went to the park with them."
Ben joined Ray in the hall. 

"Listen Mr. Moving Man, you're gonna have ta be real quiet when you bring
those boxes in," Ray explained as he held open the apartment door, "cause
my kid's asleep in his room. 

"Oh," Ben said as he looked at the closed door to the smaller of the
spacious apartment's two bedrooms. He smiled at Ray, then set the boxes in
the unfurnished living room. The only furniture in the apartment was
Fraser's crib and changing table, a dining table and chairs and the queen
size mattress set in the master bedroom that sat on the floor by Ben's
foot locker and camping supplies. 

They'd decided to bring only the newer things with them, giving the other
odd bits of furniture to their old neighbors in the West Racine apartment
building. Whatever they decided on buying for their new home would be
purchased a piece at a time. That suited Ray just fine and in fact a couch
and chair would be delivered tomorrow afternoon. Elaine had promised to be
at the apartment to accept the delivery. 

"I checked us out of the hotel. The suitcases are down in the Rivierra." 

"Then we're really at home," Ray said softly as Ben took him in a warm
embrace. 

"Yes. And Mr. Vecchio, I'd like my payment now, if you don't mind," Ben
said with a smile as he slid his hands down around Ray's firm, small ass. 

"Pretty fresh for a delivery guy, aren't you?" Ray asked, pressing his
groin against Ben's. "You wanna come into the bedroom and see what kind of
payment I got for you?" 

With a groan of desire Ben closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Ray
tugged him along then pushed him down on the bed. "Maybe we should forget
about buying a new frame. This is gonna squeak a lot less on the floor." 

"Oh I was rather looking forward to bed shopping, Ray. I have been
considering different techniques to try on the beds to see if they squeak.
For instance--" 

Ray dropped roughly down on his lover, knocking most of his air out. "Shut
up and start screwing, Delivery Man. We got about an hour before the kid
wakes up from his morning nap." 

"That's another thing I wanted to ask, Ray. Why is Fraser taking a morning
nap? He outgrew that a long time ago." 

"Excitement of moving, I guess. But why look such a gift horse in the
mouth, Benny? We got a little extra time to ourselves and you wanna
question it?" 

"Sorry, Ray." Ben smiled broadly and rolled Ray underneath him. He kissed
that long, elegant neck, making Ray as breathless as he felt himself. He
glanced at the closed door, realizing that on the other side of it was an
apartment door that was locked, and inside here was their son, safe and
sleeping in another room. When Fraser woke up they'd have the luxury of
winding their activities to a satisfying conclusion before they tended to
the baby. 

"And I can go to the bathroom completely naked," Ben said. 

"What?" Ray pulled away and gaped at Ben. "You gonna start talking about
the bathroom--" 

Ben grabbed Ray and covered his mouth with his own. He tugged Ray's shirt
open, running his fingers through chest hair, across hard nipples, down a
flat stomach. Second's later Ray was completely undressed and Ben had his
own pants down around his knees. He knelt between Ray's legs, poised to
enter him but he paused long enough to lean over and nuzzle Ray's belly,
feeling the hairs tickle his nose. 

Ray wrapped his arms around Benny's head, holding him, feeling the
Canadian's mouth on him as Benny tasted him. Always tasting everything . .
. "Ah, Benny. Love you." 

"Love you too, Ray. Love you." Ben slid up until him mouth was at Ray's
neck, his hard cock nestled against Ray's erection. "What can I do to
please you right now?" 

"What do I want?" Ray asked thoughtfully. "Mmm. Just a little gentle
loving, I think. A little sweet gentle loving." 

Ben did his best to fulfill that wish. He moved in a languid pumping
rhythm, their cocks sliding, bumping together until Ray reached down and
encircled them to increase the contact. Ben worked a little faster, always
keeping his mouth gentle on Ray's neck, face and chest as he felt himself
nearing orgasm. 

Ray lay almost passive beneath him but Ben could feel the heat of Ray's
excitement, could feel him hard and hot, ready for more. The detective's
movements grew more frantic, more needy. Then Ray arched up off the bed
his mouth wide as he gasped with each thrust. 

"Ben-- Benny, oh god. Benny. Oh, lover." 

Ben thrust his hips in a fast rhythm against Ray and listened to Ray's
breathing speed up to match his own. Ah, in harmony, in synchronization,
Ben pushed into Ray's hand, spilling his seed on Ray who moaned in
appreciation. He kept moving, hoping, hoping Ray would come too. 

"That's all right, Benny. It's all right," Ray said as he pushed at Ben,
urging him to stop moving. 

Ben sagged on his lover, defeated. 

"It'll come back. Just give it time, lover. I've just been a little tense
lately. I just need some more time." 

"Oh, Ray. You shouldn't be the one reassuring me. I should be reassuring
you, taking care of you, making sure you are resting, eating properly." 

Ray chuckled. "You are. I'm resting. I've done nothing for the past week
except sleep and eat in that hotel room." 

"And hunt for an apartment, shop for furniture, unpack every single box
I've brought over here. And don't forget caring for Fraser." 

"He's my joy, Benny. You know that. Nothing relaxes or calms me more than
caring for our boy." Ray smiled as the man nuzzled against his neck. "It's
easier here, Benny." 

"What is?" Ben slid off of Ray and stretched out beside him on the
mattress. He used his shirt to wipe Ray's groin, causing his lover to
chuckle. 

"You gonna explain that stain to the cleaners?" 

"Our new apartment building has laundry facilities in the basement, Ray. I
plan on washing this along with a few other things tonight-- Oh, you're
mocking me." 

Ray laughed long and hard. He rolled onto his side as Ben began kissing
the tears from his eyes. "Cut it out. Cut it out. You're gonna make me
start laughing again." 

"Good." Ben kissed his lover's tightly closed eyes until Ray surrendered
and offered his mouth to be kissed. He pressed his lips to Ray, feeling
the response, the easing of the man next to him. "Love you, Ray. Now tell
me what you meant by it being easier here." 

"Everything. My day. Laundry, taking care of Fraser. Getting to work is a
snap from here. And the consulate is within walking distance. We can meet
at home for lunch sometimes." 

"Oh, I hadn't thought of a lunch time rendezvous." Ben sat up and smiled
at Ray. 

"Oh, Benny!" Ray chuckled again. "I meant eating. We could eat together
here." 

"Oh," Ben said, sounding extremely disappointed. 

"You're so touchy." 

"I am not." Ben turned away. 

"Yes you are," Ray insisted, and playfully punched Benny in the ribs. 

"Ray! Don't start. We need to get ready for those interviews of the
prospective Nannys the agency is sending by." 

"That's not 'till tomorrow," Ray informed him, adding a tickle to his next
punch. 

Ben whirled on him, pressing the cop flat to the mattress and biting at
his stomach. 

"What is this fascination you have with my stomach? Stop!" Ray protested. 

Ben moved his lips lower through dark curly hair, searching and finding
Ray's penis. He sucked the entire thing in his mouth and began to tongue
it. Ray gasped and arched up. Ben pushed him flat and felt Ray grow in his
mouth. He puled his lips to the end of Ray's soft shaft, sucking and
tonguing as he went. He teethed Ray's head and the detective groaned
loudly as he hardened. Ben was instantly thankful that they didn't need to
control the level of their lovemaking noises. He'd never heard Ray be so
vocal before. He was amazed at what he'd missed. The loud groaning sounds
Ray was making brought a flush to Ben's groin. 

As Ray tugged at his hair Ben worked his lips back down Ray's erect and
hot shaft. He managed to get a hand between Ray's thighs and began
massaging his balls and the sensitive skin back toward his asshole. He
touched a fingertip to the opening. 

"Benny!" Ray shrieked. Then the detective sat up, his legs spreading wide
as he pushed Ben's head down on his groin. He began to thrust up into his
lover's mouth, frantic with passion. "Oh, Benny!" he yelled. His body
jerked as he came in a great gush, filling Ben's mouth, emptying himself
down Ben's throat in waves of white passion. * 

Ray lay close to the soft edge of sleep, spread eagle and naked on the
mattress. He could hear the distant soft rumble of Benny's voice and
Fraser's high squeals of delight. He raised his head enough to see that
the bedroom door was closed. Then he was grateful for his privacy as he
recognized the voices of Camilla and Carinna, back from their walk with
Dief. He rolled onto his side and noticed that Benny had laid his clothes
along the edge of the mattress. The Mountie's clothing was no where in
sight. That must mean he'd had time to get completely dressed before the
elderly sisters arrived. 

Ray smiled and rolled back flat. He stayed where he was, enjoying the
sunlight spilling in from the open balcony door, the soft mattress beneath
him, and the security of his new home. He felt good. This place felt good.
And lord Benny had felt good earlier. Completely at peace now, Ray smiled
and closed his eyes. 

The End 

And Elaine and I plot on and on. I want to hear from you. What did you
think of this story? How did it impact you? What was the thing that struck
you as the most sad? The most loving? Write me at mitch_h@hotmail.com 

Muchos gracias to Elaine Walker and Del who provided me with invaluable
feedback, and proofreading on this story. Any errors remaining are solely
mine and I take great pride in claiming them. 

Disclaimer: due South, the characters and all that "stuff" belong to
Alliance. This story was written purely as a fan tribute and not for
profit. No copyright infringement is intended.