Canadian Government Mountie Season Regulations Canadian Government Mountie Season Regulations GENERAL 1. Any person with a valid Mountie hunting license may harvest Mounties. 2. Capture of Mounties with traps is permitted. The use of drowned caribou as bait is prohibited. 3. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest Mounties from National Parks and designated Mountie reserves. 4. It shall be unlawful to shout "help" or "whose wolf is this" for the purpose of trapping Mounties. 5. It shall be unlawful to hunt Mounties within 100 feet of government buildings. 6. It shall be unlawful to herd Mounties using women in scanty lingerie, since this causes Mounties to stampede in fright. 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt Mounties within 200 feet of libraries, police stations, lingerie shops, special interest group offices, bars, or strip joints. 8. Stuffed or mounted Mounties must have a Health Department inspection certificate for rabies and vermin. 9. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise as an oversexed sister of a Chicago cop, old lady trying to cross the street, ice hockey player, caribou, attractive bank robber, or escaped felon for the purpose of hunting Mounties. 10. Captive Mounties prefer dark surroundings. Some have been known to carry nesting material around with them. Usually they are easy to tame. If the Mountie is to be kept a permit must be acquired. BAG LIMITS Sub-Species: Mountius oldfartus Limit: EXTINCT Sub-Species: Mountius boyscoutus (often seen crossing roads with old ladies) Limit: 3 Sub-Species: Mountius hubbahubbaus or "Big Red" (identify by its blue eyes, muscular physique, signature cry "thankyoukindly", tends to flee if the word "sex" is mentioned, found in the company of wolves and at least one of the grouchy species Chicagocopus crankus) Limit: 1, live capture only Notes: Very, very difficult to catch. Captive breeding next to impossible. Addenda: Humane capture of Mounties The species Mountius hubbahubbaus (or 'Big Red') is often found in the Canadian snow fields, but tend to have difficulty keeping their footing in this environment. This is often the best time to net one, when they are lying on their backs in the snow giggling uncontrollably, or rescue one after he has fallen into a lake. SEASON TIMES: Winter and autumn only. Mounties shed their distinctive red plumage during the warmer months and can be mistaken for other, less desirable species. Regulations released by F. Scott, Commander-in-Chief, International Mountie Control (IMC) =================================================================== By the way, the production office has a version of this..... hee hee FIona :) Fiona.Scott@smtpgwy.agric.nsw.gov.au Return to the Due South Fiction Archive