Note: This is part of a series:
"Don't give me that look. It was your idea to come." Michael scolded Ben as they stood in the middle of the hotel lobby, each holding a glass of wine and trying not to look as painfully bored as they felt.
"No. I said we should attend one more charity event, then toss the rest of the invitations," Ben corrected. "I wouldn't have chosen the black tie event."
"It wasn't black tie when they sent out the damn invitations," Michael groused. "I wouldn't have accepted it if it were. The stupid committee decided to make it formal at the last minute." He tugged at the button up collar of his white dress shirt. "I feel like an idiot. You at least look good. I look like I snuck into my father's closet..." Michael shook his head. "Well, okay, maybe not my father's closet. But you know what I mean."
"You look incredible." Ben hooked his finger in the front of Michael's jacket and pulled him closer. "I told you that before we left. In fact, we almost didn't make it here on time."
"Yeah, but you're easy." Michael laughed.
"Well that's true. I like you in formal wear, casual wear, and my favorite is nothing at all." Ben started to lower his head to take Michael's lips in a kiss, only to be stopped by Michael's hand in the middle of his chest.
"Uh uh."
"Uh uh?"
"You're not starting anything you can't finish. Not tonight." Michael brushed his fingers over the front of Ben's tux shirt, lightly stroking. "Once we get home you can start anything you want. 'Til then, you have to keep your lips to yourself." At Ben's raised eyebrows, Michael sighed. "And anything else of yours."
Ben leaned closer and whispered in Michael's ear using his most seductive voice. "What if I promise to meet you in the men's room in twenty minutes?"
"Down boys. There'll be no public displays of affection. Not tonight." Emmett came over and stepped between Michael and Ben. "No matter how much the two of you might want to 'expose' your love to the world. We're running a strictly PG-13 evening here." He looped his arm around Michael's and gave Ben a stern look. "Now I'm taking the Mrs. off to meet some new clients of mine."
"What about me?" Ben pouted. He didn't much like having his plans interrupted not even by Emmett.
"You'll just have to entertain yourself." Emmett practically dragged Michael off to the opposite side of the ballroom.
Ben gave a sigh and moved towards the bar to get his wineglass refilled. The only consolation was knowing that he and Michael were through attending charity functions for the rest of the year. Though it had become something of a running joke among all of them ? the truth was that the Gay and Lesbian Community Center took up a large chunk of their available cash. There was always some fundraiser or benefit. All of them for a worthy cause, but equally expensive. He and Michael had finally come to an agreement that in the coming year they would schedule only a set number of events and give only within their budget. Volunteering time and effort was fine, but with the house and Hunter's school expenses they needed to put a bit more aside for their own needs.
Reaching the bar, Ben found himself standing shoulder to shoulder with Monty Larson.
"Benjamin! I thought I saw you and Michael come in!" Monty gave him an enormous smile that Ben found himself returning.
Normally Monty and Eli would grate on Ben's nerves. Their brand of perfection just a little too good to be true. But he'd found over the last few months as he and Michael settled in across the street that Monty and Eli were just as good at their word. When Michael had first come home from the hospital they'd found that the house was spotless and the kitchen stocked to the rafters with food.
"Everything looks great Monty." Ben complimented. "I know how hard you all worked on the committee."
"And you know how much I hate committee work." Monty winked. "But in the end I think it was worth it. We've managed to raise around $25,000 for the new Pediatric AIDS wing at the hospital."
"That's wonderful."
"Even better. A local doctor's office has promised to match whatever we raise tonight!" Monty gestured beside him to a tall man in his late forties with dark hair. "This is Dr. Cameron. He's one of the partners who's agreed to match our funds."
Ben held out his hand. "Ben Bruckner. It's a really wonderful thing you're doing." He studied the doctor's face, trying to place it. He seemed vaguely familiar somehow only Ben's brain wasn't doing a very good job of processing it. "I apologize in advance because I know how hokey this sounds, but have we met? You look familiar, but I don't think I've seen you at any of these fund raisers before."
"I've just moved back to Pittsburgh. I've been away for about four years. My partners in my practice and I both felt that the Pediatric AIDS Wing was something we wanted to be a part of."
"Well if you two don't mind, I'm going to try and drag Eli out on the dance floor at least once tonight." Monty finished his drink and set the empty glass on the edge of the bar. "David, it's been wonderful seeing you again. I hope that you won't be a stranger now that you've finally come home."
"I won't be. Thank you Monty." David warmly placed his hand on Monty's shoulder. "Good luck getting Eli out on the floor. If I remember correctly that's no small under taking."
"He's getting better. We've been watching 'Dancing With the Stars'." Monty winked and disappeared off into the crowd.
"How do you know Monty?" David gestured for the bartender to refill his drink.
"I met him through Eli. Eli and I both teach at Carnegie Melon. I'm in the Gay and Lesbian Studies department." Ben leaned against the bar. "And recently my husband and I have moved in across the street from them."
"Monty mentioned the neighborhood getting an influx of gay families. It's nice to see some of the older parts of the city getting revitalized."
"You mentioned moving back here. Where from?"
"Oregon. My son lived there with his mother and I wanted to be closer to him. But he's just graduated high school and he'll be one of your students at Carnegie in the fall. It seemed like a good time to come back. I almost didn't realize how much I've missed Pittsburgh until I got here tonight."
Before Ben could reply, a familiar voice cut in at the bar.
"Christ. If I get served another fucking glass of white wine I'm gonna puke. Listen Ramone and listen good. Johnny Walker. Hold the fucking water and if I see a single ice cube I'm gonna cut your three inch dick off." Brian tapped his fingers on the bar. "I'm paying $1000 for a business ticket to this funeral. The least you people can do is keep me in liquor." Brian turned his head and his hazel green eyes narrowed almost instantly, a large, and frightening smile breaking out across his face. "Well hello there, Doc."
"Brian. Why am surprised to see you here?" David drawled, venom practically dripping from his lips.
"Because you've never been all that observant?" Brian suggested in the same falsely civil tone. "You boys making nice?"
"We were." Ben replied watching the byplay between the two men like a spectator at a tennis match. Something deep and ugly was going on just below the surface with the two and it was bringing out the nasty side of Brian that Ben had only seen on a few occasions. Brian was obviously out for blood. "Is something wrong?"
"With me? Not at all." Brian accepted his drink from the bartender and took a slow, savoring sip. "But you know, don't let me interrupt the two of you. I'm sure you have oodles to talk about." Brian nudged Ben closer to David. "In fact, I'm willing to bet that if the two of you stand here long enough, and chat hard enough you'll come up with tons of things in common." He started to move away from the bar. "Just remember the vigil, Professor. Feel free to take the same 'hands on' approach."
Ben watched Brian leave with a puzzled expression on his face. He still couldn't put his finger on the hostility between the two. He doubted David was an ex-lover. As far as Ben could tell none of Brian's previous lovers excited so much as the smallest hint of emotion, much less deep animosity. Whatever it was, if the look on David's face was any indicator, then the feelings were mutual. "So you know Brian?"
David finished his drink in one swallow. "Better than I'd like." He immediately censored himself. "Ancient history. But he's always been able to get under my skin even though I know better than to let him." He cast a curious look at Ben. "Are the two of you...?"
"Oh God no!" Ben choked on his wine. "Brian and I? No. He's more, he's more of what you might consider an in-law." Which was the best description Ben could come up with on the spot for what his relationship with Brian was. Explaining that Brian was a once in a while workout partner, occasional voyeur, one night lover, one time getaway driver, usual pain in the ass, and sometime friend would take more time and effort than Ben was willing to expend. "Brian is my husband Michael's oldest friend. So I have to make some allowances. You know how it is."
"Better than you know." David answered dryly before ordering another drink.
"Hey, Mikey." Brian came up behind Michael and dropped his head on Michael's shoulder. "You look hot tonight."
"Okay, Brian. What have you done this time? E in the punch? Jerked off in a cup and put it in the silent auction as David Crosby's sperm?" Michael turned his head and studied his friend's expression. Brian was definitely up to something. If he were any more smug he'd actually be purring and licking his whiskers.
"Michael! Come on! Would I do..." Brian chuckled. "Okay, so I would. But I didn't do anything this time. I've been on my best behavior."
"That's what scares me." A quick glance around the ballroom and Michael can't see anything obvious that Brian could have screwed with. "So what's got you grinning like the cat that ate the canary?"
"You know me. I'm such a people person. I like bringing people together." Brian turned Michael in the direction of the bar. "I'm sorry Mikey but I couldn't resist."
Michael had to do a double take before it sank in. "David?"
"In the flesh. And he and your hubby are having a nice little chat."
Michael didn't hear Brian's response. His brain was still stuck on the fact that David was standing in the middle of the Liberty Hotel and talking to Ben. "What the fuck is he doing here?"
"My guess would be drinking overpriced watered down drinks and supporting the 'community'." Brian gave David a cursory glance. "He's held up pretty good. But maybe he just left his walker at the coat check."
"Brian! Do you mind not being an asshole while I'm having a breakdown?" Michael's fingers clenched on the glass in his hands. "What do you think they're talking about?"
"I think it's safe to say they're not discussing foreign politics or trade embargos." Reaching over, Brian plucked Michael's glass from his fingers, placed a kiss on his lips and gave him a nudge towards the bar. "Only one way to find out."
Walking across the ballroom was one of the hardest things Michael had ever had to do. He didn't hear the music coming from the live band, or the background noise coming from all of the separate conversations going on around him. Instead Michael could only hear an argument from the past echoing in his ears and drowning out everything else.
"I don't know what you want from me, Michael! I can't live your life for you. You're not even putting in an effort to be happy here."
"That's such bullshit, David. You're just mad because it's not happening on your terms, on your schedule. I don't have a job. I don't have my family and all of our friends are your friends or Lori's and they think I'm some piece of shit hustler who's only after a sugar daddy."
"I don't know what you're talking about. But it's very clear that you've been having second thoughts about this move. Hell, Michael, I'm surprised you even came at all."
"I am not going to apologize for this again. I've explained it over and over again. What I don't understand is how you can act like Justin getting his skull bashed in was some sort of plot I hatched to get out of moving. I was almost to the plane when I got the call. What did you want me to say, David? 'Sorry, Brian. It's not my problem I've got a plane to catch'?"
"For once Brian Fuckin' Kinney is not the issue. The issue is that you decided even before you got here that you were going to be miserable and you've lived up to that. Well I'm sick of it, Michael. Life is too short to spend it with someone who wants to be somewhere else."
"What are you saying?"
"Go home Michael. Just go home before we make this any worse than it already is."
"Michael."
Reaching the bar, Michael came to stand beside Ben. Ben's hand came up and touched Michael's back. Michael drew comfort from the familiar gesture. He could feel the solid warmth of Ben's touch even through his jacket and it grounded him more firmly in the present. "Hello, David."
"Michael. You're looking well. I was just getting to know your husband."
"When did you move back?" Michael asked.
"Just this summer. Hank's going to school at Carnegie and I've bought back into my old practice."
"How is Hank?" Michael smiled at the mention of David's son. Hank was one of the only good memories Michael had of Portland. "Still playing hockey and sax?"
"Yes. As a matter of fact he's got a scholarship to the music conservatory."
"That's incredible. You must be really proud of him."
"Always. I understand you have a son of your own?" David prompted before lifting his glass to his lips.
"Yes. His name is Hunter. Ben and I are in the process of adopting him. He's been our foster son for a year now." Now that the focus was back on him, Michael felt his discomfort growing. Always with David it was like being under a microscope. "And Melanie and I have a daughter--Jenny Rebecca who is four months old."
"You and Melanie?" A look of shock crossed David's face before it returned to its impassive mask. "Congratulations."
"Thank you." Michael wished he had another drink, or maybe even ten. David was looking at him intensely while Ben seemed to be trying to gauge the level of tension between them. Michael was still trying to get his bearings when Eli came over to drag Ben off to meet a new member of the English Department, leaving Michael alone with David for the first time in four years.
"You know I didn't actually come here with the intention of making you uncomfortable, Michael. I didn't know you would be here."
"I almost wasn't. It was either this or the sing along Sound of Music for the teen center benefit." Michael ordered another drink
"Ben seems like a good man. I'm glad to see you've finally found someone who makes you happy."
Even though the words were innocent, Michael bristled at something in David's tone that was more than a little condescending. He'd almost forgotten what it was like to be talked down to. David never considered him an equal. Michael felt more like a charity case. David's project to save an ignorant kid from Liberty Avenue. "Ben and I are very happy. Things change, David, even on Liberty Avenue."
"I can see that." David cast a look in Brian's direction. "I can also see that some things never change."
Michael's patience snapped. "I'm not about to get into an argument about Brian with you. Not now. It's been four years, David. Haven't you gotten over it?"
"Apparently not as easily as you did." David answered heatedly. "You never returned any of my phone calls or my letters."
"I didn't think there was anything left to say after you told me to leave." Michael could feel his face heating.
"Michael..."
"You know what, David? It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago. We don't need to rehash the past. One thing I've learned since I've met Ben is that the only thing that matters is now. We can't change the past and we can't do anything to guarantee the future. We have to live in the now and right now I'm happy. I hope you are too. You deserve to be happy, David. But I'm not going to stand here and re-fight the same stuff we fought about a long time ago."
David's lips curved into a slight smile. "You're right. Things do change. Even on Liberty Avenue. And for the record Michael, I'm glad you're happy. That's all I ever really wanted was for you to be happy." David leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Michael's cheek. "I'm sure now that I'm back our paths will cross more than once. But like you say ? we don't have to re-fight old battles. We'll just live in the now. Two old lovers who can maybe be friends now."
Ben was standing by the coat check picking up his and Michael's coats when someone cleared his throat behind him. He turned to find David standing to one side, he was already wearing his coat and had his gloves in his hands tapping them against his palm. "David." Ben greeted guardedly.
In truth he didn't know much about David Cameron. There was the usual gossip from Michael's friends and family about a relationship that hadn't worked out, but Michael himself was more than a little vague about it. Judging from Michael's reaction to David's presence it was more than just a differing of opinion. Beneath David's congenial exterior there was a sharp edge and Ben wasn't sure what it all meant.
"It was nice to meet you." David began. "I know this sounds extremely presumptuous of me, but what the hell? I can afford to be presumptuous." David stepped closer so that he and Ben were only a few inches apart. "I know Michael. I know him very well. If I were you I wouldn't put too much stock in anything he's promised you. Michael may say that he's ready for a real relationship and a commitment but he probably never will be. Michael's got almost as much of a Peter Pan syndrome as his friend Kinney does."
"Well, you're entitled to your opinion..." Ben ground out, but changed his mind even before he finished. "No, let me amend that. You're not actually entitled to an opinion either about Michael or my marriage. I don't know what happened between you and Michael," He waved off whatever David was about to say. "And frankly? I don't care. I'm not going to stand here and listen to you insult my husband." Ben accepted their coats and turned to leave, pausing only to toss over his shoulder. "I should actually thank you."
David looked surprised. "For?"
"If you weren't such an unmitigated ass it's possible I might never have met Michael. So please, don't change on my account."
"You've been quiet ever since we left the hotel." Ben commented once they were in the bedroom. The truth was it wasn't Michael's silence that had Ben worried, it was the vaguely nauseous look on his face and the way he couldn't seem to meet Ben's eyes.
"Just surprised I suppose." Michael replied. He'd already hung up the tux jacket and was fumbling with the shirt studs, unable to get one of them loose. "FUCK!"
"Here. Let me." Ben moved across the room to stand in front of Michael and began carefully undoing the studs. "You can talk to me."
"Not about this." Michael shook his head.
Ben tried to ignore the pang Michael's words gave him. He thought they could talk about anything. "I understand."
Michael caught Ben's fingers in his hand and squeezed them. "I don't think you do. It's not about not trusting you. I trust you with everything. It's just... David's a piece of that past that I keep trying to let go of. It's just not easy. Especially when it shows up unannounced and moves into your backyard."
Ben pressed his lips to Michael's temple and pulled him into his arms. He knew if he were patient and rode out the storm, Michael would confide in him.
"I just never wanted my past with David to touch us." Michael admitted quietly. "You see, the person I was when I was with David isn't someone I'm proud of." Michael breathed out a tired sigh. "I wasn't someone you would have wanted to know. And I don't want you seeing me through his eyes."
"I can't believe that there's any part of you I wouldn't want to know." Ben's hand slid under Michael's chin and he raised Michael's face. "I love you all of you."
"That's because you didn't know me then. I was ridiculous. From the minute David asked me out on our first date everyone made sure to tell me how lucky I was that he'd be interested in me. David's older, educated, well traveled, intelligent, sophisticated and I was just some schmuck working at the Big Q and partying at Babylon. And after a while I started to believe everyone. That somehow being with David made me special." Michael shook his head. "Then of course it backfired and I started to think I was better than everyone else. If you could have seen me in that fucking gold Miata..." he groaned and buried his face against Ben's chest. "I was a real asshole."
Ben frowned and used his hands cupped around Michael's face to tilt his head up. "When are you going to believe me? I love you. There isn't anything in your past that would make me love you less or make me think less of you."
Michael's fingers dug into the back of Ben's neck and pulled him down into a deep, soulful kiss. "I love you. I want you to know that. The things I wasn't ready for with David? A home? A committed relationship? A family? I'm ready for them now. I want them now. I'm so goddamned grateful to have them. You're what I want."
"You've got me." Ben murmured quietly against Michael's mouth before returning to work on his shirt studs. "I have to say Dr. David Cameron isn't the sort of man I would have expected you to be with."
Michael nodded, the tension slowly easing out of his body as he gave himself over to Ben's soothing touch. "I know. Rich. Sophisticated. Educated..."
"Actually I was thinking 'pretentious asshole'." Ben chuckled.