Be Careful What You Wish For

Chakotay was drunk. Drunker than he cared to admit in fact. On the coffee table sat his last bottle of whiskey. He had come on board Voyager with a little better than half a case, but it had been five years. You could just make the stuff last so long. He didn't do this often, but after what he had seen in Sandrine's tonight, he deserved it. Hell, the whiskey deserved it. He took another swig off the bottle, grimacing as he swallowed the bitter liquor. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, unconcerned at his own lack of manners.

He sank to the couch, putting his head in his hands, trying to block the pain and grief that twisted in his gut. Spirits, what was he going to do? Tom and B'Elanna had danced tonight. They had taken to the dance floor and Chakotay knew his chances with Tom were over. B'el had set her hooks and Tom was happily snagged. Why had he waited so long? He asked himself. How he wished he had done something, said something.

He stood up and unsteadily prowled his quarters, as his mind cruelly replayed every moment. Tom leaning down kissing B'El with passion, love and lust; Tom gently rubbing the back of B'El's hand; the smile on Tom's face when B'El had lovingly stroked his cheek. He was gone, lost to Chakotay. He stared out the viewport as the ghosts of the couple sitting at a table, pressing their thighs together and laughing tortured him. The deep chuckle from Tom, the answering smile from B'Elanna and the deep, loving looks they had shared. It hurt. He hurt. It hurt all the way from his head to his stomach. Twisting, digging, making him want to scream, cry and throw up all at once. Tom.

He took a long drag off the bottle, almost draining it; welcoming the burning sensation. He blamed the tightness in his throat and the stinging in his eyes on the whiskey. Then he looked at the bottle and closed his eyes. He opened them again and, with one tear running down his cheek, he went to his desk and picked up the picture of him and his crew from the Crazy Horse. He looked at the image of B'Elanna standing in front of him, his hand on her shoulder and saluted the picture with the bottle.

"Here's to you, B'El. May you find happiness with him."

Then he upended the bottle and drained it.

As he tilted his head back to finish the last little bit, he lost his balance and fell over backwards, striking the back of his skull against the table below his medicine wheel.

"Incoming medical emergency," the computer announced.

Tom moved to the biobed, bringing the triage and general medical equipment the Doc would need with him. He waited for the hum of the transporter and then turned on the tricorder. It took all of three nano-seconds for him to recognize who was on the table and the readings he was getting from the tricorder. His heart lurched, as he glanced back down at the tricorder. He was almost dead.

"Status?" the EMH asked, as he came into the room.

Tom ignored him and grabbed the cortical stimulator and a heart stimulant.

"Lieutenant, what are you doing?" the Doctor demanded.

"He ain't dying on my shift," Tom said, reaching for another hypo. A holographic hand closed over his arm.

"Lieutenant, stop. Let me examine him first. You may be doing more harm then good."

The Doctor eased Tom down onto a nearby biobed. He hadn't taken the news well. The Doctor sifted Tom's reactions through his subroutines and came to the conclusion Tom Paris was dealing with fear, guilt and a sense of responsibility.

He walked into his office and commed the Captain.

"Doctor, what is the status of Commander Chakotay?"

"I'm afraid Captain, it isn't good."

"What does that mean?"

"The Commander has suffered a traumatic brain injury. It appears that he fell and struck the base of his skull on the corner of a table. The damage was severe, and Lieutenant Paris, thinking he was doing the right thing, administered a stimulant and under normal circumstances it was. However, there was trauma to the Commander's brain stem, and other issues which, unfortunately, Lieutenant Paris aggravated. There was swelling and with the drugs the Lieutenant administered, it increased the swelling and..."

"Cut to the quick, Doctor. What is the Commander's status?"

"He's in a coma at this moment. We won't know the full damage until the swelling goes down." The Doctor watched the Captain flinch and pale.

"Tell Lieutenant Paris to report to my ready room immediately."

"As soon as he regains consciousness, Captain."

"Why is the Lieutenant unconscious?"

"When I explained what he had done, he became distraught. I administered a heavy dosage of sedative. Captain, I do not believe the Lieutenant was trying to hurt the Commander."

The Doctor did not think it was necessary to inform the Captain that Lieutenant Paris had started screaming and beating his fists against a bulkhead.

Tom sat beside the Commander's bed staring into the peaceful face. He had spent most of his free time here. It had been five days since Chakotay had appeared and he had killed his brain. He was like this because Tom had acted without all the information. Chakotay was a zombie because of him. He took the big hand and held it for a moment.

It didn't matter that no one was actually blaming him for the accident, although he hadn't checked his personal messages lately to see if there were any new threats against his life. B'Elanna and Harry had put the word out on the grapevine that Tom wasn't to blame, and for some reason Greg backed them up. So it looked like Tom wouldn't suffer for this crime. He still wondered why Greg had put his two cents worth in, but it didn't matter when he looked at the still figure lying before him.

"Come on, Commander, fight," he whispered. "Fight."

For hours he sat there, talking to the Commander. He had apologized God knew how many times. He had pled, he had cajoled, he had been a smart-ass, anything he could think to do to get through to him, but nothing had even caused his heartbeat to pick up. Nothing. He had turned Chakotay into a vegetable. He put his head down on the edge of the biobed, allowing the tears he had held at bay to burn his eyes.

"Please, Chakotay, PLEASE!"

A gentle hand on his shoulder woke him.

"Come on, Tom. You need to sleep."

Tom blinked and looked back at B'El standing behind him.

"C'mon," she repeated.

He looked back at Chakotay and at the computer that displayed his vitals. No change.

"I can't leave him, B'El. I just can't. Gods, I wish I could do something."

"Tom, you have duty in three hours. He wouldn't want you doing this. He'd tell you to go get some sleep. You can't do him any good here."

Tom reluctantly stood up and looked back at Chakotay one more time.

"My god, B'El what have I done?"

She wrapped him in her arms and held him for a moment, as pain seared his throat and lungs.

"Hush, Tom. Everyone knows you were trying to help him."

She slowly rubbed his back, until he calmed down again. Then she led him to his quarters and watched him collapse onto his bed. She covered him up with his blanket and quietly left.

Tom came to attention as the Captain came into sickbay. When she had talked to him, Tom had stood at attention, taking his dressing down with no facial expression.

By acting rashly, again, Lieutenant Paris, you have made a bad situation worse. I don't have any choice...except to demote you to Ensign. I'm sorry I have to do this, but you have to learn to follow orders and protocol. Dismissed.

Tom didn't mention the horror that had filled him when he was told that he had made the situation worse. That the alcohol had depressed Chakotay's life signs and he had applied a cortical stimulator, when the actual damage had been done to the brain stem.

He didn't mention the fear he had felt when Chakotay appeared on the bed in front of him and how it had turned to terror when he saw the tricorder readings, and how he had reacted. The Captain was right, he had reacted, not followed protocol and because of it, Chakotay lay in coma, and might never recover.

She walked up to Chakotay's bed, and Tom left the room allowing them a moment together. He glanced up to see her gently hold his hand and say something to him, and then left sickbay.

It was now the eighth day since Chakotay had slipped into a coma and Tom actually felt better. The Commander was starting to have muscle twitches. That meant he was coming up out of the coma. Maybe not very quickly, but it was improvement.

He opened his eyes and saw a gray ceiling. He felt warmth surrounding his hand. He tried to flex his own in response, but for some reason he couldn't. But, with his other hand he felt the smooth surface it lay on. He didn't recognize anything.

A blond male came into his range of vision. He had blue eyes, pretty blue eyes. He liked them. The man spoke, but it didn't mean anything. He felt the warmth around his hand tighten and then loosen. The man spoke again. He noticed the brightness in the blue eyes faded slightly as the man turned his head and called out.

Another man came to where he could see him, an older man with no hair on the top of his head. Chakotay saw something moved up and down his body. The older man spoke, but again the sounds meant nothing. The blond and the bald guy stepped away from him and he heard the sounds again, but only the man with blue eyes came back.

Tom walked into sickbay. It had taken his shifts on the bridge to get him out of here since Chakotay had woken up yesterday. He immediately walked to his bed and was thrilled to see Chakotay's eyes open.

"Commander," he said, smiling.

The big man just blinked, but that didn't matter. To Tom it was movement and each movement was good. The Doc had said that although Chak was awake, it was very likely his brain was not functioning correctly.

Tom had asked why the Doc didn't fix it. The Doctor in all his holographic dignity had drawn himself up and announced,

"Lieutenant Paris, the brain is one of the most wondrous creations in the universe. Its complexity is an astounding work of art. Anyone who is egotistical enough to think they can just fix a brain is not intelligent, they are merely a fool."

Which translated to: wait and see. Tom also thought the Doc was taking a pot shot at him, but it didn't matter, Chakotay was getting better.

"How are you feeling today?" Tom asked, standing beside the biobed.

He got another blink. Tom looked around and saw a tray of food. He brought it closer to him, sat down on the edge of the bed. "Are you hungry, Commander?"

Tom adjusted the bed to where Chakotay was half sitting and he spooned up some of whatever the stuff was on the plate. The stench of leola root filled his senses, and he grimaced. Then he looked at Chakotay. What if he just couldn't remember how to talk? He'd been in here often enough to know what it was like to be force fed noxious foods. He dropped the spoon, and looked at the replicator.

"Hang on one minute. Let's try something a little more palatable than that."

He went to the replicator and got a bowl of tomato soup. He knew Chakotay was a vegetarian and that he'd been on intravenous feedings for a while, so he toned down the spices a little, but if he could take leola root anything, he could take tomato soup too.

He saw the blond come back to the bed; something made his mouth water. Nothing else made a lot of sense, but that did. He was hungry. The blond sat back down beside him, and moved something towards his mouth.

"Open up, Chakotay," Tom said with a smile.

Chakotay just stared straight ahead.

Tom bit his lower lip wondering how to proceed. If Chak was in there and he started playing airplane to get him to open his mouth, it could mean he would be scrubbing the outer hull with his toothbrush for the rest of his natural life...without an environmental suit.

An idea occurred to Tom. He ate a spoonful of the soup and made an appreciative noise. Then he spooned up some more and offered it to Chakotay. He just stared straight ahead. Tom gently touched the spoon to his lips, like you would with a young kitten. Your natural reflex would be to lick the moisture off. Chakotay didn't.

Tom sighed, wondering what to do. He almost set the bowl aside when he heard a noise. Chakotay's stomach rumbled. Tom quirked an eyebrow.

"So, you are hungry. Let's try it this way."

He gently moved the spoon to Chakotay's lips and tilted the spoon letting the warm liquid flow into his mouth. He grabbed a napkin from the tray and wiped the excess soup away. He repeated the process and almost did a victory dance when Chakotay swallowed.

"I think we have it worked out, Commander."

It took nearly a half-hour to feed him the bowl of soup, but Tom was thrilled when he swallowed the last little bit. He gently wiped Chakotay's mouth.

"There you go, Commander," Tom said quietly. "And don't worry, I promise not to tell anyone what's going on. You'll be glad to know the Doc won't let anyone in right now. He wants to give you a chance to heal up before the crew starts 'stampeding' through sickbay to 'harass' his patients."

"And that would include you, Ensign Paris."

Tom jumped. He hadn't heard the Doc come in; but then again, holograms weren't the loudest creatures in the world either.

"How's he doing, Doc?" Tom asked. "He ate some soup."

"You fed him soup?" The Doctor's tone indicated surprise. "He wouldn't eat for me."

"I wouldn't eat leola root either."

"Leola root is very nutritious, and..."

"It tastes like the shit you scrape out of the bottom of a antimatter containment field, too."

The Doctor sighed heavily. "I fail to see the point you humans place on one of the five senses. The importance of good nutrition overrides any aesthetic qualities a meal may contain. For instance, intravenous feedings have no taste, but will maintain the human body indefinitely."

"Whatever, Doc. How's he doing?"

"There has been some improvement in the lower brain function. I would speculate that given time, the Commander may well heal without further medical intervention."

Once more, he opened his eyes and saw the gray ceiling, except it wasn't as bright as usual. He felt warmth by his side, and around his hand. This time he managed to flex his hand. He was pleased when the blue eyes came into his view. The blue eyes were not as sharp as usual, but the man spoke.

He concentrated and managed to flex his hand again. This time the warmth squeezed back.

"Doc!" Tom called, staring at Chakotay.

"Yes, Ensign?"

"He squeezed my hand."

The Doctor stepped up to the screen. "See if you can get the Commander to repeat the movement."

Tom gently squeezed his hand again. "Chak, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand, Chakotay. Squeeze my hand." He was rewarded with a quick flexing of the Commander's hand.

"Very good," the Doctor said, staring down at the tricorder.

"He's coming back, isn't he?"

"Emergency Hologram's log. Update on Commander Chakotay's condition. It has been seventeen days since the initial trauma. The Commander has made significant progress, since regaining consciousness. Although upper brain functions are still lower than normal, the Commander has started to exhibit basic muscle control. At this time, I advise against any type of medical intervention as the Commander's progress is well within normal ranges."

"A further update on Ensign Paris' condition. Although counseling is not my forte, I believe that allowing the Ensign to be part of the Commander's rehabilitation has helped Tom deal with the guilt he was feeling over his inadvertent aggravation of the Commander's condition."

"Come on, Chakotay, help me out here a little," Tom grunted, as he tried to roll Chakotay onto his side. The man was not light. "That's it, no more ice cream sundaes for dessert for you, big man." Tom almost started laughing as he struggled to get Chakotay on his side. Big man, that was an understatement. He was solid muscle, much heavier than Tom had suspected.

He finally got Chak on his side. He moved quickly to make sure his arm wasn't twisted under him or something. Tom snatched a pillow off another bed and put it under his head to make sure his neck wasn't going to get stiff.

"There you go," Tom said, breathing heavily, not minding the lopsided conversation. "Didn't even come close to dropping you off the biobed this time."

That had scared him the first time he had tried this. He had just heaved to and nearly dumped Chakotay face first off the side of the bed. Not the way to score points with your commanding officer.

He ran the scanner over Chak's back to make sure there were no contusions from lying on his back for so long. There were one or two bruises that could have been uncomfortable, but nothing serious. Tom picked up the regenerator and ran them over the bruises on Chakotay's backside.

"That works better without the cloth in between them," the doctor said, walking up behind Tom.

"Yeah, but this is the Commander, and there is no way in hell that I am doing this with his ass naked."

"Ensign, medicine does not recognize rank."

"That may be true, Doc. But Commanders do, and personally I don't want to spend the rest of my life in the brig."

He was staring at a gray wall. There were two beds between him and the wall. He was sick. Something had happened. The blond took care of him. The blond talked to him. Soon he would come back, turn him the other way and talk to him. He would also feed him. He waited for him to come.

"Sure, B'El. I can do Sandrine's tonight," Tom said. "How about 20:30 hours? That'll give me enough time to take care of Chakotay."

They were in the turbolift on their way to their quarters after shift.

"I'm beginning to get jealous, Tom," B'El said, with a slight frown.

"B'El, please," Tom said.

This was what had worried him. That B'Elanna would begin to get angry about the amount of time he spent in sickbay with Chak. That she wouldn't understand that for once, Tom was going to do what was right. No one understood what Tom was feeling, not even the Captain, but no matter what happened with Chakotay, Tom was going to be there for him. He owed him that much.

"I'm kidding, Tom. I know how important this is to you." She touched his arm and smiled.

Tom sighed in relief. "You're the best, B'El." He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and hurried off to sickbay.

He looked at the blue eyes. They were smiling at him. He opened his mouth and swallowed the food. The blond spoke to him and refilled the spoon. He was beginning to pick up bits and pieces of what they were saying, but not enough to follow the conversation.

The older man spoke again, and the blond said something as he fed him more, while simultaneously wiping away some of the food that had spilled onto his chin. He watched the animated faced, wanting to touch him, but he couldn't control his arms that well yet.

Finally, the blond set the plate aside and squeezed his hand. He knew the blond would leave now, but he was ready. He closed his hand over the blond's and didn't relax it. The blond looked at him intently.

"Doc, he's holding my hand," Tom said quietly, watching Chakotay's face.

"I'm sure he's just trying to make contact with you, Ensign. It isn't as if he wants to date you or anything," the doctor replied blithely.

"Very funny, Doc," Tom said. "What is it, Commander?"

Chakotay tightened his grip again.

"I'm here, Chak. What do you want?"

Another squeeze. Tom lifted Chakotay's hand and held it with both of his. He could see something in his eyes, but he had no idea what it was.

"Interesting," the doctor said.

"What's interesting?" Tom asked, not breaking either the eye contact or the physical contact.

"The Commander is showing some upper brain function. I believe I was correct in my assumption that the Commander will soon be ready for the next step in his rehabilitation."

"B'El, I'm sorry," Tom said, as he followed her around Engineering. She threw a tool down.

"Tom, you could have commed me. Do you realize how embarrassed I was to get stood up? I sat there for an hour by myself," she growled, and then lowered her voice. "I even wore a dress for you, Tom."

"I said I was sorry. What do you want? B'El, he was holding my hand." Tom ducked as a tool bounced off a wall beside him.

"Even better, I got stood up so you could hold hands with Chakotay! You pig!"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. It was the first time he tried to express his thoughts, B'El. I thought you would be happy he was showing progress."

B'El froze where she was and then slowly turned around. "I am happy Chakotay is getting better. You know that. What I am not happy about is the amount of time you are spending with him. Tom, there are other people on this ship who can care for Chakotay just as well as you can."

"No, there isn't, B'El. He's only responding to me. Why, I don't know, but I do know I am not going to let Chakotay down. Not this time," Tom said angrily. "Why can't anyone understand that? B'Elanna, for once in my life I have a chance to fix a screw up and fix it right. I can't fix getting caught and going to Auckland, I can't fix the people I killed on Caldik Prime, and I can't fix a lot of other things in my life, but this one I can fix or at least I can help. And I am going to do that, and if you can't understand that, then you can go to hell."

"That isn't fair, Tom," she said. "I haven't put you behind anything. I'm trying, but I...people are laughing at me, Tom. They're saying you'd rather be with Chakotay than with me. That I was just another conquest for you."

"B'El," Tom complained. "You aren't just another conquest. We've discussed that, and if you can't trust what I tell you, then where are we headed."

"That's what I'm wondering," she said very seriously.

Tom frowned at that. "What are you saying? You want to end this? Huh, is that it? B'El, I've put up with playing second fiddle to your engines and you can't give me this time?"

"That isn't fair, Tom. These engines are important."

"And Chakotay isn't? Getting your Captain back on his feet is unimportant? Me trying to help someone is less important than a date on a holodeck?"

"That's not what I meant, Tom. The engines are vital..."

"Oh, and my feelings aren't. Chakotay isn't. Having the first officer, a mindless idiot is a good thing. You know what, B'el? Maybe you're right. Maybe we should end this. That way I won't interfere with your precious engines with something as inconsequential as helping someone become whole again."

"Tom," she called, but he had had enough. He stalked out of Engineering.

He looked sad today. He wondered what was wrong. Why were his eyes so dull?

"C'mon, Chak. Doc says you need to start using those muscles before they atrophy," Tom said, lifting Chakotay into a sitting position using the biobed controls to get him there. They had been using muscle stimulators to keep the muscles alive, but no amount of stimulation would equal actually using them.

Tom placed one hand on Chakotay's back and lowered the bed. Chakotay started to follow the bed back down, until Tom pushed gently and splayed his hand across the small of his back. He ended up supporting most of Chak's weight with his hand, but they had to start somewhere.

"No, sit up, Commander. You gotta start using those muscles again," Tom said listlessly, looking down to turn the motor on the bed off. When he looked back up, he saw the Commander begin to roll forward. Without thought, he wrapped an arm around Chakotay's chest to hold him upright.

"Lift your head up, Chak," he said gently. "Just hold your head up and you'll be okay."

He shifted his grip to lift Chak's head up a little to give him a hint as to what to do. With his arms wrapped around him the way he was, Tom could feel that Chakotay wasn't getting it, but he also knew that it took a few times before Chakotay could eat too. So, he just patiently held him, moving his head and talking to him quietly, letting him get used to the feeling. He was so wrapped in what he was doing, he never actually acknowledged hearing the doors open and close twice.

"Emergency Medical Hologram's log: Commander Chakotay managed to stand up today. His condition has reached a level that I am considering releasing him from sickbay soon. However, the Commander's lack of speech and the apparent lack of memory are a concern to me. Although brain scans show that the damage has healed. It also shows that the area damaged controlled most of the Commander's memories and learned knowledge. I have attempted to repair the damage done to that portion of his brain, and although the procedure was successful, until something sparks those memories, they will fade away from disuse like any memory that isn't recalled. I am afraid Commander Chakotay will have to be retaught as if he were a young child.

On the other hand, Ensign Paris has not faltered in his care of the Commander. The Captain is concerned about his sudden attachment to the Commander and his keen interest in his recovery. I must admit I am also concerned since he has terminated his relationship with Lieutenant Torres over the Commander; however, I can only speculate that Tom's dedication is based upon his own desire to prove something to himself. My observations of his actions show nothing that appears to be inappropriate or less than professional. I will continue my studies on this matter, despite the Captain's less than subtle hints that Tom should be separated from Commander Chakotay."

Slowly they moved across the room towards the head.

"That's it, Commander. One foot and then the other. That's great," Tom encouraged, his arm around Chak's waist as they walked together. They reached the door to the bathroom. "Never, Chakotay, never in a million years did I ever think I'd be helping you take a piss."

He opened Chak's robe and closed his mind to what he was doing. Hey, helping a kid learn how to do this was one thing. Holding his commanding officer's dick in his hand was something completely different. He sighed and stared at the wall, refusing to look down. He quickly squelched any thoughts about being jealous.

When Chakotay was done, Tom heard him sigh. He chuckled to himself and said, "Yeah, Chak, I understand. Sometimes it just feels good, don't it."

"Goo."

Tom almost let go of the Commander. But when he looked into his face, Tom saw dimples and a spark.

"Chak?"

"Goo," Chakotay repeated.

"You spoke. Good, is that what you said? Good?"

"Goo,"

"DOC!"

He jumped when his friend screamed. He had managed to say something. They said it to him a lot and he had been practicing when he was alone.

"Ensign? Why are screaming for me from the bathroom?"

"He spoke, Doc," Tom said, helping Chakotay towards the door. "He talked."

"What did he say?"

"Good, Chakotay said good."

"That is definitely an improvement. It is certainly in line with his other improvements as well. I will note it in my report."

"Is that all you can say?" Tom replied, helping Chak back to the biobed. "It's great."

"Ensign, don't allow this one step to get your expectations too high. It's only another step on a long road to recovery."

The doctor went back to his office, but Tom got Chakotay sitting on the bed and looked into his face. "Don't listen to him, Chak. I am so proud of you. You talked. Hey, give you a few more weeks and you'll be ordering me around again."

He smiled at his friend's happiness. His eyes were bright again. He took a deep breath and slowly lifted his arm and touched his friend's chest.

"Ta."

He smiled again as the blue eyes danced and his friend smiled, nodding his head.

"That's right, Chak. I'm Tom. Tom," he said slowly. His friend reached out and pointed at him. "Chakotay, you are Chakotay. Can you say that?"

Tom watched his brow furrow in consternation. Okay, so his name was big, but maybe he could start to recognize it. Without thinking he hugged Chakotay, just like a mother would for hearing "mama" for the first time. He sighed happily and had a goofy grin on his face, but that was okay. Chakotay was getting better.

It was the first time he had been included in a meeting between the Doc and the Captain, and he was more than nervous. He glanced out of the window into sickbay and saw Chak was asleep. He turned his attention back to the conversation at hand.

"I think the crew should be allowed to visit Chakotay."

"Captain, permission to speak freely," Tom said, despite the feeling he was sticking his neck out.

Her face twitched, but she nodded.

"That isn't the Chakotay the crew knows. To allow the crew to see him at this time will destroy any respect anyone has for him. Above and beyond that, what happens if he does remember? How will he feel to know the crew has seen him like this?"

She lifted an eyebrow at Tom.

"He's barely beginning to speak. He's just starting to move by himself. He's got the mentality of a young child. Would you want anyone to see you in that condition?"

"Then what would you suggest, Ensign?"

Tom almost winced at the stress she put on that word. "Let him continue to make progress, until he can at least understand what's happening. Right now, he is completely clueless."

"What about his memories, Tom? The Doctor plainly stated if his memories aren't stimulated soon, he could completely lose them."

"The Doctor also said that it would probably take a strong memory to open those neural pathways back up," Tom said, and then continued without thinking. "Who on this ship raised Chakotay's blood pressure higher than I did?"

Tom knew as soon as the words left his lips that he had screwed up in a major way. The Captain's eyes flashed, she stood up, and invaded his space.

"You, Ensign Paris, are dismissed from this meeting. As of this moment, your shifts on the bridge are reinstated, and you are relieved of any duties in sickbay."

"Captain, I must protest, Ensign Paris has been integral..." the Doc started.

"So noted," The Captain snapped, without looking at the EMH. Her eyes burned with anger, and her face was flushed. "That was not a request, Ensign. Report to the bridge immediately."

Tom narrowed his eyes in anger. He clamped down on his temper. So, Captain Janeway was jealous, too. He glanced at the EMH and then back to the Captain. "Yes, Ma'am."

He turned smartly and started to march out of sickbay. However, he saw Chakotay was awake and he stopped by his bed. He took his hand and smiled back as Chak gave him full dimples.

"Ta?"

"Yeah, Chak, that's great. Look, I've got to go, but you keep working, okay. You get better." Tom couldn't help the pain he felt for having to abandon him, even though it wasn't his idea. He had to get out of here before he said something else stupid to the Captain, and really got in trouble.

"Go," Chakotay repeated, pulling the blanket away from his legs and starting to stand up.

Tom realized Chak needed to go to the head. "Can you get it yourself this time?"

Chakotay looked at him confused and repeated, "Go."

Tom gritted his teeth, but raised his voice. "Captain, permission to help the Commander to the head?"

"Granted," came the sharp response.

He wrapped an arm loosely around Chak's waist. They slowly made their way to the bathroom. He waited outside the door, and when the doors opened, Chakotay stood there in his robe.

"Good, Ta."

Tom smiled despite his anger, and tied Chakotay's robe shut. "Yeah, Chak. It's good."

This was going to hurt, Tom decided as he covered Chak back up when he was on the bed and left sickbay.

"Ta," he asked the old man.

"I'm afraid not, Commander. Ensign Paris is on the bridge. Now, here is your lunch and a spoon. You need to start working on feeding yourself."

He looked at the food and turned his nose up. "Pe'bu'er."

"No, this is your meal and you will eat it," the old man said.

"Pe'bu'er."

"No," the old man said, filling the spoon. "Leola root stew."

Chak firmly shut his jaws.

"Fine then," the old man said, putting the spoon down. "I'm sure when you're hungry you will change your mind."

"Pe'bu'er," Chakotay muttered as the old man left.

"I heard that."

Tom sat on the bridge, angrier than he had been in a long time. This area of space was so boring and uneventful Naomi Wildman could have handled the helm. Janeway was holed up in her ready room, like she had been all week.

When she had restored him to bridge duty, Tom had gone to the sickbay on his own time and found out she had barred him from going to see Chakotay as well. It made Tom seethe. When he had confronted her about it, and what happened if he needed the EMH, she calmly stated that if his life signs were indicative of a problem, he would be able to get into sickbay.

They were at a standoff, and Tom backed off, although most everything inside him screamed he hack the computer system.

He had been keeping up with the Doc's logs on Chakotay, and despite what he did say, Tom was more concerned by what he didn't say. The Commander had stalled. He was throwing temper tantrums, not sleeping well and becoming unresponsive. And the Captain was hiding from the truth in her ready room.

Blue eyes, blond hair, his tired mind registered, but as his eyes cleared he recognized it wasn't his friend.

"Commander, it is good to see you," a cold voice said.

"Ta?" he asked, wanting to see his friend.

"No, Commander. It is Seven of Nine. Would you like something to eat? Perhaps a salad?"

"'Mater sou'," he said.

"Mater so?" Her eyebrow arched up at an angle. "Doctor, what is mater so?"

"Tomato soup," the old man replied.

"Of course, Commander. I will replicate some immediately."

She brought over a tray and he sat up, looking forward to one of his favorites. He picked up the spoon and took a mouthful. His mouth suddenly burned, not just from the heat of the food but from the spiciness as well. He swallowed quickly, scalding his throat. He looked at the woman angrily and threw his spoon at her.

"Ha!" he accused.

"Commander!" she said astonished. She went and retrieved the spoon from where he had thrown it. She held the bowl for a moment, and gently tasted the soup. "I do not understand your anger, the soup is at a perfect ambient temperature and the flavoring is adequate."

"Ha," he repeated, crossing his arms.

"But you like your food spicy. I have reviewed your personal replicator account and you consistently eat your food heavily spiced."

"Ha. Go 'way." He turned his face from her.

He touched the ridges on her forehead. She swatted his hand away. "So I just wanted to stop by and see you, Chakotay. I really was worried about you despite what Tom might have told you."

"Ta?" he asked, looking around sickbay expectantly.

B'Elanna sighed realizing both the scuttlebutt about Tom pissing the Captain off and how Chakotay responded to him were true. "No, Commander. Tom's been barred from seeing you. I'm sorry."

Harry sat alone in the mess hall late one night staring at the stars. B'El came in and walked up to his table with Ayala in tow.

"Harry, can we talk to you," she asked.

Harry looked between the two of them and then gestured to the chairs. "Have a seat. What can I do for you?"

"We're worried about Chakotay."

"So am I, and Tom, but what can we do?"

"What happened between him and the Captain?" Ayala asked.

Harry shook his head. "He disagreed with her and said something stupid."

"What happened," B'El asked.

"She wanted to let people start seeing Chakotay. Tom didn't think it was a good idea. He thought people would have a hard time respecting him after seeing him in that condition."

"And, how did he insult her?"

"Well, the Doc said it would have to be a strong emotion that would spark the Commander's memories, and Tom said he could probably get Chakotay's blood pressure higher than anyone else could."

"So?" Ayala asked. "That's true. Spirits, Paris and the Cap were always sparking."

"Don't be dense, Greg. Remember, Janeway has a thing for him," B'Elanna said.

"What? Hell, that was over after New Earth. She had her shot at him and screwed it up."

"Maybe for Chakotay it was over, but she's always held out hope," B'El said. "And knowing how jealous our Captain can get, I'm sure Tom's little comment kicked her into warp drive."

"So, how do we fix this?"

Silence reigned for a moment. Then Harry started laughing.

"What?" Greg asked.

"Tom may not be able to get into sickbay, but can Chakotay get out?"

"Oh, Starfleet," B'el said with a smile. "You're starting to think like a Maquis."

"You say that like it's a good thing," Harry said.

"Ta?" Chakotay asked, smiling at the lady with the ridges.

"Yeah, Chakotay. I'm taking you to Tom."

He stood there as she helped him put his robe on. They started towards the door when they both heard someone clear their throat. The lady turned him around and the old man was there. He could tell the man was mad. The two of them started talking, he didn't understand all of it, but he understood part of it.

"And just exactly where do you plan on taking him?"

"Ta?" Chakotay said brightly.

The doctor raised his eyebrow and thought for a moment, and started talking to the lady again.

The lady let go of him and he sat back down watching them. They walked off and lowered their voices, but Chakotay wanted to see Tom, so he pulled his robe tightly around him and slowly made his way towards the door. He walked out into the hall and looked around.

"Ta?" he called. "Ta!" He looked up and down the corridor and then decided this was the way to go.

Tom woke up to an incessant beeping. He stumbled out of his bed and pulled his robe on.

"Come," he called sleepily. He watched confused as B'El, Harry and Greg all came into his quarters.

"Tom, first off, don't get mad," Harry said, coming forward.

"You get me up at three in the morning, and the first thing out of your mouth is 'don't get mad'. This is not a good thing, Harry. What's wrong?"

"Chakotay's missing."

"What?" Tom was instantly awake. "How did he get out of sickbay? Why haven't you scanned for him? And why are you here and not doing a security sweep?" He was already in his bedroom pulling on his jeans.

"Listen up, Paris," B'El called to him. "We were trying to get him to you, when the Doc interfered and said we were just making the situation worse. Then when I looked up...he was gone."

"How long ago?"

"About an hour," Greg said. "And we can't run scans, 'cause Tuvok's on the bridge for some reason."

"Great," Tom said, coming out pulling on a sweater. "Any idea where he might have gone?"

"None," Harry said. "We've gone over the three decks surrounding sickbay."

"C'mon. Jeez, Janeway is going to bust my ass down to crewman over this."

"You can't go to Janeway. She's already mad at you," B'El said.

"I am fully aware of that B'El, but which is more important? My rank or Chakotay lost on the ship with the mind of a child. He could get hurt or really get in trouble. He has voice clearance to everything, including the airlocks."

"Ta?" he called again. It was cold down here. He wanted to go back. He wanted to find Tom. He shouldn't have climbed down here. Now he couldn't find the way back up.

"Wait, maybe Tuvok will help out without telling Janeway," Harry said.

"No way, Harry. Sorry. I'll take the blame, but we are not playing games with this one. We need a full ship-wide scan. Chak's out there and all alone."

"Captain, it was actually my fault," Harry said, standing at attention with his fellow conspirators. "It was my idea to get the Commander to Tom."

"Captain," Tom started. "The important thing is the Commander is wandering the ship. We need to find him now. I will take full responsibility for what has happened, but I request that you order a ship-wide scan to find him."

She leaned over to her comm unit. "Tuvok."

"Here, Captain."

"I want a ship-wide scan for Commander Chakotay immediately. Lock his voice access out of the computer. Report when you have found something. This is a priority."

"Affirmative, Captain."

"Ta?" Chakotay called into the dark room. He took a step inside. The door slid shut behind him, and Chakotay jumped at the sudden, total darkness that enveloped the room. He turned around, and tried to find the door again but lost his bearings in the darkness. Slowly he slid down the wall and wrapped his robe around him. "Ta!"

Silence answered him.

"Co, Ta. I co." Slowly he fell asleep, curled up against the cold.

Tom sprinted down the hall, with a small entourage close behind him. He stopped in front of the storage room that the computer said Chakotay was in. He pressed the panel and the door slid open.

"Lights!" he called and the room was brightly illuminated.

He heard someone cry out, and Tom saw Chakotay half sitting up trying to cover his eyes.

"Chak," he cried, moving quickly to him, gathering him against his chest. "Computer, lights to fifty percent." Chakotay wrapped his arms around Tom's waist.

"Ta!" Chakotay cried, pulling Tom close to him.

"My god, Chak, you're hands are like ice," Tom said, removing them from around his back and holding them in his own hands, rubbing them to warm them.

The Doc knelt beside them and ran a scanner over him. Tom looked at the Doc, praying that Chak was okay, only vaguely aware of Chak as he pulled his hands out of Tom's and pulled him close again.

"How is he, Doc?"

"Foun oo," Chakotay said.

Tom wrapped his arms around Chakotay's shoulders realizing he was frightened. "How did you get down here, Chak?"

Chakotay shrugged.

"The Commander appears to be fine, with the exception of a low body temperature."

"Let's get him back up to sickbay," the Captain ordered.

"Right, Captain. C'mon Chak. Let's go get you warm," Tom said, standing up and reaching down to help him up. He smiled when Chakotay continued to hold his hand when they walked to the turbolift.

Tom heard Harry whisper, "If he starts skipping, I won't be able to keep a straight face."

Tom just squeezed Chakotay's hand.

As they approached sickbay, no one considered the Captain's orders that Tom stay out. The Doctor and the Captain walked in first, and then Chak and Tom approached the doors. They closed in both of their faces. Tom and Chakotay, unprepared for that, walked into the closed doors.

"Ow," Chakotay said, rubbing his nose.

"Damn it," Tom whispered, as he took a step backwards, which allowed the doors to open for Chakotay.

He stood there for a moment, looking first inside sickbay and then back at Tom. Then Chak held his hand out to him, but Tom shook his head.

"Can't, Big Man. You go on in. The Doc'll take care of you."

"No," Chakotay said sadly. "Wan Ta."

"Chakotay, come on. We'll make you some hot soup and you'll feel better," the Captain said, from inside sickbay.

"No."

B'El stepped up to him and took his arm and tried to guide him in. "Please Chakotay. This is hard enough. I'll make you some of that lasagna you like so much."

"No!" he stated with the emphatic anger of a five-year old in a grown man's body. "Wan Ta and pe'na'bu'er"

"Commander," the Captain snapped.

"Okay, Chak, I'll come in. Captain, you want him in there, let me in," Tom said, as he stepped up to Chakotay.

"Computer, allow Tom Paris access to sickbay."

Tom sighed and guided Chakotay into sickbay. He settled him at a table with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a large glass of milk. He looked at the Captain and saw she was still angry with him.

"Dismissed, Ensign."

He shook his head sadly and left without causing a scene with Chakotay, but he heard Chak cry out for him as the doors closed behind him.

The next morning, he sat at the helm, when a call came in from the EMH.

"Go ahead, Doctor," Janeway replied, from behind him.

"Captain," he said firmly, as the sound of something shattering caught everyone's attention. "I respectfully request that you allow Ensign Paris..."

"WAN TA!" sounded in the background.

"Commander, put that down! No! Don't throw that!" Another crash resounded. "That you allow Ensign Paris to come to sickbay before Commander Chakotay destroys everything. Commander, put the table down!"

"What about sedation, Doctor?" the Captain asked.

"LE ME OU!"

"That would be effective if I could catch him, Captain. However the Commander is quicker than he looks. Chakotay, no! Not the computer console."

The link went dead. "Doctor?"

"Captain, the EMH program is off line," Tuvok said calmly.

That was it. Tom stood up and turned around. "Captain, may I speak to you in your ready room?"

"You are trying for crewman, aren't you?"

"If that's what it takes, Captain, yes. At this point in time, I would give up the helm." Their eyes locked on each other. "Captain, Chakotay is familiar with me, that's all. I know you have his best interests at heart, but Captain, he isn't ready to deal with this stress. I request, with the utmost respect, that you allow me to go to sickbay."

The silence stretched out into an eternity.

"Permission granted, Ensign. Report to me as soon as you have the situation under control."

He walked into sickbay, and whistled at the carnage. Man, could Chakotay throw one destructive temper tantrum.

"Chak?" he called.

"Ta?" he heard from the Doc's office. He headed in that direction, taking in the sight of one of the mobile tables half in and half out of the room, and the glass that had acted as a barrier shattered all over the floor. He found Chakotay sitting on the floor with blood pouring from his foot. He could only assume Chakotay had stepped on a piece of glass.

"Chak," he said, with empathy as he knelt beside him.

"TA!" Chak cried joyously. Tom gently lifted his foot. "Hur's."

"I know it does, Big Guy. Let me see." He looked into the jagged cut with a piece of glass sticking out of it. "Damn, I need to get you up on a table." He looked around at the minefield of glass between Chakotay and the doorway. "Question is, can I carry you that far. Can you stand up, Chak?"

He smiled as Chakotay gamely climbed to his feet, and then balanced on one foot.

"Okay, here's the deal. I'm going to pick you up and get you out of here. Okay? Don't fight me, or we'll both end up on the floor."

"I be goo," Chakotay said innocently.

Tom wrapped one arm under Chak's and bent his knees slightly lifting the Commander into his arms.

"Oh my god, Chak, you are going on a diet," Tom groaned.

Tom struggled with the six steps needed to clear the glass-strewn floor, and the next eight to get Chakotay onto the biobed.

As he set Chakotay down as gently as he could, he panted, "Thank God for your standard issue support BVD's."

He hit his comm badge as he ran a tricorder over Chakotay's foot.

"Paris to Janeway."

Janeway, here. Go ahead."

"The Commander has done extensive damage down here and managed to hurt himself. He's calm now, but it will be sometime before sickbay is functional. Can someone give me a hand and see if they can get the EMH back on line."

"Is Chakotay that badly hurt?" Janeway asked, as Tom picked up a pair of tweezers and administered a shot to numb his foot out. Being kicked in the face was not something he wanted to experience today.

"No, he just stepped on a piece of glass and cut his foot," Tom said, as he touched Chakotay's toe. "Can you feel that?"

"Uh uh," Chakotay said, watching Tom intently.

"Good," Tom gripped the piece of glass protruding from Chak's foot. "However, Captain." He pulled the piece of glass out, and put it on a tray nearby that was still upright. "I'm gonna have my hands full with Chakotay and getting this place cleaned up. I thought you would want the EMH back on line."

"Good idea. I'll get someone on it immediately. Janeway out."

Tom began to regenerate Chakotay's foot. "There you go, Chak. Good as new."

"Ta?"

"Yeah," he asked, as he glanced around what used to be sickbay.

"Don' go 'gain."

Tom looked back at the morose face. "I'll do my best not to, Chak.

It took Tom three days to get sickbay put back together. He muttered angrily when Janeway announced half of the rations were coming out of his account, but it still had an upside. He smiled whenever he remembered the look on Chakotay's face when he had reprimanded him and made him help clean up. Tom couldn't help but remember all the times Chak had dressed him down, and wondered how the Commander would have taken it if he had hung his head, and apologized. The Commander dutifully picked up the table he had chucked through the window and put it back where it belonged. Or when Chak handed him the shattered tricorder and simply stated, "B'oke," shaking it slightly. Tom shook his head as the pieces inside rattled.

The next hurtle to get over was getting Chak out of sickbay and somewhere more comfortable. It would help with his memory and it would also get him out from under the Doc's feet. A man-sized child could test anyone's patience.

"You let me handle this, Ensign. I think the Captain will take the suggestion from me a lot better."

"Ensign, my ready room," Janeway announced the next morning.

Tom knew how Daniel felt going into the lion's den. He took a deep breath and walked in.

"Where we go?" Chakotay asked Tom, as they walked through the corridors of Voyager.

Janeway had acquiesced to the Doc's plea that Chakotay be removed from sickbay. She made a ship-wide announcement regarding his condition, keeping it vague; knowing the grapevine would fill in the gaps. She also grudgingly allowed Tom to be his caretaker when he wasn't on shift. The condition of sickbay convinced her that trying to keep them separated at this moment was not a good idea.

"I'm taking you to your quarters, Chak. How does that sound?"

"No more Doc?" he asked suspiciously.

"You will still have to go see him, but not on a daily basis."

They got on the turbolift. Tom noticed Chakotay jumped, but he calmed down pretty quickly and began to investigate, curiously.

"Is this how you got down to deck fifteen, Chakotay?"

"Uh uh," he said, shaking his head. "Climbed."

Chakotay's speech had improved immensely since he had been back with Tom. The Doctor said that was normal, but also very encouraging because it was a learned skill and it was opening those pathways back up. Then Chak's statement registered.

"You climbed all the way down to deck fifteen?"

Chakotay nodded vaguely, still examining the interior of the lift as if it were the eighth wonder of Earth.

"How'd you get in the storage room?"

"The door opened," Chakotay said, as he paused in his examination of the turbolift. "But it din't open back up. Why?"

"My guess is that your codes had just been locked out of the computer and it didn't recognize you to let you out."

"Huh?"

Tom sighed as he realized the technobabble was still over Chakotay's head. "It locked, like the doors to sickbay did when we got back up here."

"Oh," Chakotay said, as if he understood. "Can I have 'mater sou'?"

"Tomato soup," Tom corrected.

"'Mato sou'." was the next attempt.

"Close enough," Tom said with a wink. Chakotay smiled at him, and Tom smiled back. "Man, you must have driven your mother nuts with that smile. You could melt duranium with it."

Chakotay smiled even brighter and Tom chuckled.

They walked into Chak's quarters and Tom paused as he saw the remains of Chakotay's last night in here: the bottle on the floor, the blood stains, and he wondered what had driven him to get that drunk. And then he wondered why no one had cleaned this up. He walked over and picked up the bottle and looked at it. Damn, this was the good stuff, too. He threw it in the recycler, and turned back around to see Chakotay staring at the stain.

"Chak?"

"What's that?" Chak asked, staring at the dark spot.

Was Tom imagining things or was that tension in the Commander's voice?

"That's where you fell down, Chak. Do you remember what happened? Do you remember this room?"

Chakotay looked around with an unhappy grimace. "No."

"Are you okay?"

"Don' wanna stay here."

"Why not?" Tom asked, moving towards him.

"Don' like it."

He watched Chakotay closely. Then he tapped his comm badge. "Paris to EMH."

"Yes, Ensign."

"Uh, Chak isn't comfortable in his quarters."

"Perhaps it is stirring up some memories, Ensign. I think we can agree that a little discomfort may in the long run be better for him."

"Yeah, but I'm not sure."

"Give it a night, Ensign and see what happens. If the situation becomes dangerous, then we'll move him to other quarters tomorrow."

Later that evening, Tom, who was sleeping on the couch, woke up to the sound of Chakotay tossing and turning. He moved into the bedroom and found him tangled up in his covers.

"Easy, Chak," he said, as he reached out to straighten the covers, and gently rubbed his back to calm him down. The last thing he was expecting was for Chakotay to sit bolt upright in bed and pop him in the face. He hit the wall hard and slumped to the floor.

"Tom?" a voice called, as someone shook his shoulder. "Tom, why you on the floor?"

"Chak?" he asked, confused. He looked around with the one eye that would open and saw Chakotay crouched over him.

Chakotay none too gently sat him up and set him against the wall "Oo, what happen to your face?" Chakotay asked, trying to touch it.

Tom winced as his swollen face and the back of his head protested the hard contact with the wall behind his head, not to mention Chakotay's less than gentle exploration of the damaged area. "Ow! Get off, Chakotay. Damn, didn't you do enough damage?"

"Me? What you mean? You asleep on the floor. I din't do that."

"Yes, you did," Tom said, gently touching his own face, and rotating his jaw to make sure it was still working.

"Did not!"

"Did too," Tom said sharply.

"Did not," Chakotay said firmly, but Tom heard the pain in his voice.

"You had a nightmare, Chakotay, and I must have scared you. Computer, what time is it?"

"05:00 hours," the computer responded.

He slowly climbed to his feet, and touched his face again. "Damn, you pack a punch."

Chakotay stood up quickly, almost knocking Tom back down. "I did not hit you!"

"Okay, Chak, okay. You didn't mean to hit me. It was a dream. That's all. I know you didn't mean it, Okay?"

Chak slowly nodded, not at all appeased with Tom's compromise.

"Do you have a regenerator in here?"

"Huh?"

"Regen...never mind. Let's go to my quarters, Chak. I have one there."

They made the short trip and Tom went into his bathroom and retrieved his tricorder and regenerator. After ascertaining that Chak had indeed fractured his cheekbone, Tom slowly healed the massive damage done to his face.

"Shit, one good shot, and he broke my fucking cheek." He ran his tongue over his teeth and looked at himself in the mirror. "Loosened up three teeth, too. Damn, watch yourself Tommy boy, one good temper tantrum on his part and the Doc won't even be able to put you back together."

Tom went out to check on Chakotay and found him curled up on his couch. He smiled as he saw the position Chak had had to curl himself into to fit on it.

"Chakotay," he called gently. He had learned his lesson about touching him before he was conscious. Sleepy brown eyes met his and smiled.

"C'mon, Chak. Into my bed. You'll be more comfortable there."

"Okay, Ta," he sighed, and happily followed Tom into his bedroom. Tom shook his head as Chakotay spread out across his entire bed and took both of his pillows.

"I'll get you for that, Chakotay," he threatened and then went to sleep on his too small couch.

The next morning, people watched Tom with amusement as he slowly eased himself into the helm.

"Problem, Ensign?"

"Nothing serious, Captain. I just ended up sleeping on my couch last night."

"Your couch? I thought you were staying in the Commander's quarters?"

Tom slowly turned to face the Captain. "I was Captain, right up to the moment the Commander had a nightmare. I went in to try to calm him down. The next thing I know, Chakotay knocks me into a nearby wall. I went to my quarters to get my regenerator and when I came out of the bathroom, he was asleep on my couch. Instead of making him get up to walk to his quarters, I simply moved him to my bed and I slept on the couch."

"He had a nightmare?"

"Yes, Captain. I don't know what it was about. I just learned an extremely painful lesson," Tom paused for added effect. "Make sure he's awake before you touch him."

"Oh yeah," B'El said, from her station. "You're lucky he didn't break something."

Tom kept his mouth shut. He didn't know how the Captain would react if she knew Chakotay had actually hurt him. And he didn't want to take the chance she would take him away again.

"Where is he now, Tom?" the Captain asked.

"Safely locked in my quarters watching cartoons, Captain."

Tom took a quick break from the bridge and cleaned the carpet in Chakotay's quarters. He thought that maybe that was what had set him off. Then at lunch they went back there and ate lunch. Tom watched Chakotay wander around the room, touching things. He picked up a picture and stared at the image.

"Who dis?"

Tom came to stand next to him, and smiled. "That is you, Greg Ayala," Tom said, pointing to the people. "That's Seska and that's B'El. The lady that tried to bring you to me."

"The lady with the ridges?" Chak asked with a slight smile.

"Yep, that's B'Elanna."

Chakotay abruptly slapped the picture down.

"Easy, Chak, you don't want to break that. What's wrong?"

"Don' like her."

"Who? Seska?"

"No, Bedanna."

"Chak, you like B'El. She's one of your friends. She was on the Crazy Horse with you."

"Don' like her," Chakotay said staunchly, and turned away from the desk.

Tom quirked an eyebrow and wondered if Chak was mad because B'El had let him out of sickbay. "Chak, she didn't mean for you to get lost."

"Don' wanna talk 'bout it." He went into the bedroom and sat on the bed. Tom looked in as he cleaned up lunch and saw Chakotay start bouncing on the edge of his bed.

"Chak, stop that."

"I like this bed. It bouncy."

"It is not a trampoline," Tom said, smiling as he copied his mother's tone of voice. "If you like that bed so much, how about you try sleeping in here again tonight?"

"'Kay."

"I have to go back on shift. Do you want to watch more cartoons?"

"Nah, I wanna go play."

"Sorry, Big man, I gotta fly the ship."

"Can I fly the ship?"

"I don't think so," Tom said with a smile. "Uh, what about reading a book or something like that?"

"Nope, wanna play."

Tom thought for a minute, then slapped his comm badge. "Paris to Ayala"

"Yeah, Tom?"

"Are you on duty this afternoon?"

"Yep. What's up?"

"Chak's bored, and I have duty, too. Know anyone who might wanna go play with him?" Tom couldn't help but smile as he said that. There was a moment of extended silence, followed by a chuckle.

"How about Gerron. He's off."

"I'll front the holodeck time, if he wants to do that."

"Let me contact him and I'll get back in touch with you."

That evening when he got off, a very haggard looking Gerron Tem was waiting for Tom by the turbolift. Chakotay however looked invigorated. Tem slowly straightened up.

"Word to the wise, Paris. Don't play tag with the Commander."

Tom started laughing. "What happened?"

"I had no idea it was a full contact sport," Tem said, as he started limping down the corridor.

"Bye!" Chakotay called to the retreating figure.

"Goodbye, Cap," Tem said, without turning around.

"I like him. I wanna play with him again."

"Yeah?" Tom asked, opening the door to Chak's quarters. "Looks like you'll have to be a little easier on him the next time. Did you have fun?"

"Yep, we played tag."

At which point in time Chakotay tackled Tom. It was a complete blindside from behind, Tom couldn't even get his arms up to break the fall. And Chakotay landed heavily on top of him, driving every iota of breath from his lungs and his chin into the decking.

"You it!" Chakotay screamed happily in his ear, before leaping up and running from the main area of the cabin.

Tom lay there for a minute desperately trying to inhale. Then he rolled onto his back trying to ascertain if anything was broken and wondering if he was going to survive getting Chakotay back to normal.

Then a shadow covered his face. "Tom?"

Tom opened one eye and stared at the concern on his Commanding Officer's face.

"You okay?"

"Peachy," he wheezed.

"Gerron did the same thing when he was it. Why?"

"We're old, Chak," Tom said aloud, and then thought and getting older by the second.

The next morning, there was muffled laughter accompanying Tom's even slower descent into his chair.

"Another night on the couch, Tom?" the Captain asked, with amusement in her voice.

"No, tag," He groaned.

Now people were laughing at him.

"Except Chakotay plays it as a full contact sport."

"You should see Gerron. I've seen him looking better after hand to hand combat," B'El snorted.

That evening after dinner, Tom looked at Chakotay.

"You need a shower tonight."

"I wanna bath."

"Fine a bath, it is."

Tom went and ran Chak a bath, however when he slowly straightened up, cursing the stiff muscles in his back, he was unprepared to see a fully naked Commander standing in the doorway.

"Uh...Chak, most people get undressed in the bathroom."

"You were in here, so I got undressed in the bedroom."

"Okay," Tom said, keeping his eyes on something in the living room, and a placid look on his face. "Well, there you go. Have fun."

Tom quickly exited the bathroom, hoping there was nothing on the floor to trip over. Nor did he allow his mind to linger on the sight of the Commander naked; thinking instead of the numerous horrible jobs the Commander could come up with for him if he even told one person about that. Chakotay was a fine looking man though, Tom admitted to himself. He found himself wishing he had noticed that before all of this. Then he quickly cleaned up the dishes from dinner and generally straightened up in the main area.

It wasn't more than five minutes later that he heard water splashing out of the tub, and happy laughter coming from the bathroom. He smiled and shook his head, remembering the times he had devastated the bathroom as a kid and seriously hoping Chakotay didn't know about submarine races. After cleaning up the clothes Chak had just dropped in his bedroom, Tom finally stretched out on the couch and picked up a padd to review some of the other pilot's reports.

"Ready to wash!" Chakotay yelled.

Tom felt his eyebrows try to climb off his face as that registered in his mind. Oh, shit!

"Do it yourself," he called back.

"'Kay," Chakotay called back and Tom sighed in relief.

It wasn't more than a minute later that he heard, "Ow, ow, ow!" getting louder and louder followed by the distinctive sounds of a naked body, a large naked body, climbing out of the tub. Tom dreaded the door to the bathroom coming open and an equally naked Commander come running into the living room, his head covered in soap, and Chakotay desperately rubbing at his eyes. "Soap in my eyes. Burns. Ow!"

If he hadn't been so mortified, Tom would have started laughing. He quickly got up and retrieved a damp towel from the bathroom, avoiding the flailing limbs of the Commander as he stomped around the living room in pain.

"Chakotay, hold still," Tom ordered, and then he wiped the soap away from his eyes.

Chakotay started to blink furiously, and Tom looked into the bloodshot eyes, and wiped some more soap away. For a moment he forgot what was actually going on, and only saw a little boy with soap in his eyes. He cleared the tattoo of soap, refolded the towel and cleaned his entire forehead.

"Is that better?"

"Yeah, but it hurt." Chakotay wasn't nearly as adept at hiding his emotions now, and Tom could see it had in fact hurt.

"I know it does." Then he sighed. "Come on, let's get you washed off."

Tom filled his mind with star chart calculations as he washed Chakotay and rinsed him off. He was surprised his skin was so soft and he smelt so good. He helped Chak brush his hair, and get his pajamas on.

"Okay, off to bed with you, Chak. We both needs a good night's rest."

"Do you gotta work tomorrow?"

"Yes," Tom said, wondering what he would do with Chakotay tomorrow. He needed to get some sturdy babysitters lined up.