Groves was unshaven, his cravat loosened and his shirt dirty. James stared at him in disgust. What had got into the man to appear so slovenly in front of his commanding officer?

"Groves. I need your help again. With that." He gestured with one gauze-bound hand at the chamber pot. He'd gone beyond embarrassed several hours ago and had settled on seethingly angry for the time being. Groves approached him, looking nervous.

"Yes, sir." He reached gingerly for James's breeches.

"Well, get on with it, man. I haven't got all day," James snapped. He felt the light, tentative touch of Groves's fingers against his prick. Finally, things were positioned properly and after a nod from the quivering Groves, James could finally let go. He sighed as the steady stream of his piss filled the pot.

"All finished, sir?" Groves asked pitifully.

He nodded and let Groves tuck him in and button him up. "Don't go too far, lieutenant. I may need you again."

"Yes sir. Perhaps one of the other officers could attend to you for a while?"

"What? Groves, this is embarrassing enough without the entire crew knowing about it. You should be honored that I value you and your friendship so highly."

"I am, sir, don't get me wrong, but I haven't had a chance to sleep or bathe or eat since yesterday."

James felt the slightest bit contrite at that. "Well, who else would you suggest, then?"

"No need to suggest anyone, luv. I'm here to save the day as always." A new figure had burst into the tent, jingling, rattling and swaying.

Theodore Groves looked relieved.

James Norrington was horrorstruck.

Jack Sparrow looked like he might have just swallowed a few canaries and probably a parrot as well. He grinned broadly at James. "Seems you might be happier to see me and all, considering that I'm here to take care of you in your convalescence."

James saw Groves edge toward the door and escape through the flap before he could say a word to stop him. Damn Sparrow for being so long winded. Damn Sparrow to hell.

"Sparrow. Get out. This is all your fault." He knew that was unfair but he really was too annoyed and far too itchy to care about fair at this point. Sparrow was really an excellent scapegoat anyway. James could rant at him for hours and Sparrow never really got offended. He just talked back. Refreshing, actually, when even his friends called him 'Sir' no matter if they were aboard ship or in the bawdiest of taverns.

"My fault? Whatever are you talking about, dear Jamie? I told you that there would be retribution."

"Retribution? Retribution!" James waved his hands at the pirate. "The surgeon says it will be at least three days before the swelling is down enough for me to even use my fingers, never mind the itching."

"Yes, well, how was I to know that you don't know what poison ivy looks like, anyway? A man of the world like you, I would have thought you were sure to be up on your native flora and whatnot. What the hell were you doing with it, anyway, washing your hands in the oil?"

"It was covering the bases of all the trees in the area. I was exposing the roots so I could check for rot before we started felling them for spars. The timber is good, at any rate. At least the bloody mapmaker got that right."

Sparrow chuckled and James swore he saw a few canary feathers fly from his mouth. James glared at him suspiciously. "Sparrow, exactly what are you doing here on this island now? And how did you know it was poison ivy, anyway?"

"Who d'you think made the map, then, mate?"

"Oh, I am going to kill you, Sparrow." James reached for his sword and stopped when the gauzy club of his hand couldn't even close around the hilt.

"Why, luv? You're stuck here for three days and can't do anything for yourself. I'm here to take your mind off the itching and save the sanity of your poor lieutenant." Sparrow was unbuttoning James's shirt and gently pushing him toward the bed as he spoke. Sparrow dove in for a kiss, twining the fingers of one hand through James's hair while the other gently supported his back.

James let his lips part for Sparrow's tongue and felt himself sliding down to the bed under the power of Sparrow's deliberate attack. This was unfair. Sparrow was playing exceptionally dirty this time. Sparrow was leaning over him now, still assaulting James's mouth with lips, teeth and tongue as his hands roamed over James's body, unbuttoning and pushing aside all clothing that they encountered. When Jack wrapped his clever hands around James's cock and squeezed, James moaned.

"See James, I'm going to be doing all the work here and all you can do is lie back and enjoy it. Seems like more than fair punishment, if you ask me." Jack nipped at his ear and kissed him again. Then his mouth went lower, licking and kissing as Jack descended on him. From somewhere about his navel, Jack looked up at him.

"I'm going to make you come now, James. Be a good boy and enjoy it, will you?"

James watched as his yard disappeared into Jack's mouth. Jack's hands, strong and brown, were planted on his hips, holding him down as Jack sucked him into ecstasy. James glanced at his own useless hands on the bed. They might have belonged to another person for all he could feel of them at the moment.