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A Mar't'l Spat
BY: Nita Riddle*** "This is your fault, Jack."
"Do try to enlighten me on how me and you in prison could possibly be my fault because the answer seems to be escaping me." "Wou' you min' keepin' it down? Sum o' us ahn't interested in your probl'ms." "KEEP OUT OF THIS!" "Don't yell at him! Jack, were you not the one that asked to court me?" "Well I'm bloody well starting to regret it now!" "Ooo! A mar't'l spat!" "Shut up man! William is hardly my husband." "And Jack is hardly my wife!" "WIFE?!" "Aye! Wife!" "I'm more of a man than you ever were, Will!" "So is your masculinity the reasn you are currently wearing a dress?" "At least I'm dressed as a woman who prefers the company of women while you are dressed as a common Tortugan WHORE!" "How DARE you!" "'E dares!" "Jack, look around you The famous Jack Sparrow" "CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!" "Fine then, The famous 'Captain' Jack Sparrow in a prison, not captured from stealing canddy from a babe-" "He was eight years old, hardly a child." "...you sexually harrassed a British officer-" "I'd hardly refer to James Norrington as a real officer" "He's a Commodor for God's sake! He's a man of great honor-" "I'd hardly call James Norrington a man." "He is a- We'll, you are right on that matter. That doesn't excuse the fact that you even went as far as to break into a monastary to lecture the good Brother's on the joys of prostiotution and sodomy-" "I was enlightening the masses!. Honestly! You are such a drama queen." "And what is that?!" "Terribly sorry, wrong century." "See, your doing that again too Making refrences to things from the future and from the past! You are such a Such a- Arg! You even go door to door to teach children how to robb people blind!" "What the hell has any of this got to do with anything?!" "My point is how DARE you even think of calling yourself Bretheren if you can't even act like a grown man!" "Oooooooooooooooooooooh!" "E go' you wi' tha' one." "...!" "Lis'en ta me, mates, you jus' need ta loo' to what you really like 'bout one ano'er." -GLARE- -DOUBLEUNBELIEVABLYSEXYPIRATEGLARE- -SMUGSMIRKOVERTHERIDICULOUSNESSOFSAIDGLARE- -GLARETURNSINTOSEDUCTIVEMINDMELTINGSMILE- - HalfSmirkAtClearlyShowingOffSuperPowerOfResistingJackSparrowSeductive GlareThatBringsFanGirlsToKnees (AsWellAsTheOccasionalWillTurnerButNotInThisStory)- "Well, Will, I always liked your hat fetish." "I don't even HAVE a hat fetish!" "Riiiiiight. So what's your explination for all the hats." "They are gifts. From Elizabeth." "Sure." "YOu don't believe me" "No really, I do." "That's what they all say! I hate it when you do that to me!" "Right! Tha's the ticke' You bo' ough' ta reelive your feelin's 'bout one ano'er. - RaisedEyebrowInASexyAndBecomingMatter,ClearlyMockingUglyManInCellWith TheTwoLovers- Look mate, Capttain Jack Sparrow is a man who doesn't play by anybody's rules, following only the code." "Does Captain Jack Sparrow always talk in third person?" "Enough funny business. Look, Will, I'm sorry for getting us arrested because of public indesency. I'm sorry you're angry at me. I'm sorry you're in denial about your hat fetish." "Thank you. Wait...hold on , what did you say?" "I said I'm sorry you are uncertain of my, er, of my love for you. That's it. " "Oh Jack..." "Will...." "Loo' mates, it's goo' you've worked pas' your differ'nces bu', wou' you min' savin' tha' for when ye get home." "...." "...." "Right! I'll emmm, I'll be o'er 'ere....No' lookin'." "...." "...." "Right. I'm no' lookin'" "....Jack, He's staring at us." "Let's wait til were back on the Pearl, love." "Right." |
