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Slot C
BY: Nita Riddle*** "Willow, Jon, sit down please." "Father, what's wrong? Did something happen to mother? Did we run out of rum again?" "Don't be silly Willow, if we were out of Rum would the infamous Captain Jack Turner look so afraid?" "Actually Jon, Willow, the infamous Captain Jack Turner would be crying." "......" "......" "if we could get back to the original topic..." "You are now both of age and it is time for us to speak to you about the birds and the bees." "And birds and bees together peacefully." "Erm, when a bird is....which one is the bird Jack?" "What?" "What's the diffrent between birds and bees?" "I don't believe I understand your question Will." "Are the birds women?" "........aye?" "Alright." "Father, Mother, i know you said not to interrupt but.....what do birds, bees and women have anything to do with each other." "Will, you can handle this one right?" "Well , Willow, when a bird and bee fall in love they share an intimate touch, but only when the ah bird and bee fall in love and have been married by the church." "Which church?" "It doesn't matter Jon." "What happens after this intimate touch....?" "Well Jon, they erm, have children." "What kind of freekish creature's would be created from a brid and bee? Some type of murderous falcon with poison that attacks humans?!" "...you did a wonderful job trying to explain that to the children William." "Jack, it took me at least three weeks to convince you that I wasn't a eunic." "Your point?" "You are hardly the person who knows how to talk to children about this sort of thing." "I AM NOT CHILD!" "Sit DOWN Jon. You are almost as dramatic as your sister." "Let me handle it this time Will." "Fine." "At last, soemthing that makes sense." "....hee hee hee...." "Oh stop snickering Will. When a man or a woiman want to get off, they sleep with each other, inserting tab a into slot b. For more information, talk to your unfriendly local grandmother or your friendly over-enthusiastic whore." "........." "........." "......ew." "There's more. If a man and a man want to get off and there aren't any women they can or want to shag, they do each other. Pressing tab a into tab a, inserting tab a into slot c, savvy?" "........." "I'm scarred for life." "What's slot C?" "Willow, you don't want to know." "Fine." "Mother, you do know you could have spared us the talk right? You send us to live in Tortuga for schooling every once in a while and still expect our minds and bodies to be innocent?" "Jon, there are some things a parent doesn't want to know." "And a sister!" "I wasn't the one who asked grandmother for a summer job." "Yes you were!" "Alright, I was, but......Mother fainted, I'll go fetch Anamaria." "Was it something I said?" "YES!" "Both of you are grounded. You are staying with your aunt Elizabeth for the rest of the summer" "Blast." "Bloody hell." "Languege, Willow! You are a proper young lady now." "Sod that, as soon as I go to the Commodor's I'm commadeering me some weapons." ".........." ".........." "Alright alright, I'm going to my bunk." "And tell your brother he's to stay down there until we reach port royal." ".........." ".........." "Alright, she's gone now Jack, you can wake up now." "Interesting way of getting us some free time." "Loved the acting, where the oil?" "I've got it." "Mmmmmmmm" |
