"You’re watching me again," I muttered from my spot
on the bunk.
   "Am I, love? Fancy that," Jack replied; now he was
examining one of the beads in his hair as if he’d
never seen it before. "I can look at you or I can look
at the bloody wall. I’d rather look at you."
   At least I knew Elizabeth was safe, well,
physically safe. She was bound to marry Norrington
and, quite frankly, I was too exhausted to care at
that moment. It had been a long, hard week. I took off
my shoes—for the first time in that full week it felt
like—and attempted to make myself comfortable on the
bunk. 
   When they first brought us aboard the Dauntless, it
had been Norrington’s intention to lock Jack and
myself into the brig. Fortunately, there had been too
many of the Pearl’s crew who needed to be seriously
secured so we were moved to one of the officer’s
cabins. Norrington had given Elizabeth his cabin.
   Jack heaved a huge sigh and began to hum that
dratted tune again. I tried to ignore it, honestly I
did, but when he actually started singing the words,
it was the last straw.
   "Jack, please be quiet. I’m trying to sleep," I
twisted around to see him. "Aren’t you tired?"
   Jack smiled in that unamused way of his. "Can’t
sleep, mate."
   "Why not?" I asked, sitting up. 
   Jack took one boot off and dropped it on the deck
as hard as he could. The Pearl’s former crew was
sleeping below us. He took the other boot off and
tossed that one a few feet away. He put his feet up on
the table, deliberately pushing some papers off the
table to scatter them across the floor.
   "No rum, no shut-eye," He said, now beginning to
drum out a beat on his stomach.
   "Jack, if you aren’t quiet, I will go insane and do
something very bad to you," I said, not really sure I
could come up with something bad enough to make Jack
be quiet.
   "Find me some rum, kitten, an’ I’ll pipe down."
   "What did you call me?" I asked him, not sure I
understood him.
   "Oh, ‘kitten’, I b’lieve. Ye din’t seem t’ like
bein’ called ‘whelp.’ Or ‘mate’, fer that matter," He
sat up and glared at me, his eyes narrowed. "What
about ‘love’? Ye ain’t seemed t’ object t’ that one.
Why izzat?"
   I was developing a headache. "Jack, you can call me
whatever you want. Just do it in the morning. Isn’t
there any way other than rum for you to get to sleep?"
   Jack gave me that look and I instantly regretted
it. "O’ course, mate. Sex."
   "What?" 
   "Makin’ love. Fuckin’. Buggery. Doin’ the
horizontal hornpipe. Bouncin’ on the bed. Hidin’ the
sea serpent. Sheathin’ the sword. Savvy?" Jack sat
forward with a positively evil leer on his face.
   "Yes, well," I took a deep breath. "I think your
chances of finding rum are a lot better than
finding-finding a partner to dance with."
   Jack snorted. "Boy, are you innocent! Let’s get the
guard in here. I bet I can have ‘is knickers off and
my way wiff him long before I can get a pint o’ rum
outta him. Wanna make a wager on ‘at?"
   "NO!" I stood and went to the door, rapping on it
with my fist. The last thing I wanted or needed was to
see Jack and some sailor ‘doing the horizontal
hornpipe.’ "Guard, we need some rum in here!"
   When there was no response, I pounded on it again.
"Guard!!"
   Without warning, Jack grabbed my wrist and turned
me to face him. He was so close, I had to press my
back against the door to keep from touching him. I
swallowed hard.
   "It’s lights out, mate. Makin’ that much noise’ll
jus’ get ye in trouble. Navy’s kinda picky ‘bout
things like that. But it gives me a idea, though,"
Jack grinned and dropped to his knees in front of me.
   "Jack! What-What are you doing?" 
   He glanced up at me and winked then reached into
his sash and pulled out a long, thin piece of metal. I
slumped back, oddly relieved yet regretful, as he
began to pick the lock. Finally I knelt next to him.
   "Before you say it, I _trust_ you. Just tell me
what you’re up to."
   Jack’s eyes twinkled and he winked. "We’re gonna
find me a sleepin’ tonic, lad, of one kind or another.
C’mon."
   "But what if there’s a guard--," I started to ask.
   At that moment, the lock turned and the door swung
outward. "Ah, as I suspicioned. We ain’t important
enough to merit a guard, hatchling."
   "What?" 
   Jack shrugged, "Ye objected t’ kitten."
   It occurred to me as we stepped out the door that I
could go back to the cabin and get to sleep in the
bunk before the marines brought him back. On the other
hand, they might just kill him—especially if he
annoyed Norrington as he seemed bound and determined
to do earlier. I could probably appeal to their better
natures and ask to be put somewhere quieter and safer
than with Jack—like in the hold with Twigg and the
others. _They_ would at least beat me into
unconsciousness.
   I followed Jack through the corridor and up onto
deck. Jack took a quick look around and we started
across the deck. I realized he was heading for the
captain’s cabin and I grabbed his arm.
   "Jack!" I tried to keep it quiet. "Elizabeth’s in
there!!"
   "And yer point is, tadpole?"
   "You _aren’t_ going to-to make her your sleeping
tonic!" The thought made my stomach do strange things.
   Jack whirled around, shoved me up against a pile of
barrels and kissed me, hard. I started to object when
he whispered in my ear, "Sentry comin’, lambkin, jus’
pretend t’ enjoy it."
   I opened my mouth to object but Jack’s lips were
back on mine, his tongue tickling at mine. For a
minute, I couldn’t catch my breath. I wasn’t
experienced at kissing but I was relatively sure that
Jack was doing a great job. The sentry walked past and
I heard him growl quietly.
   "Way t’ go, mates."
   Jack broke the kiss briefly and he whispered again,
looking deep into my eyes, "Is he gone?"
   His eyes seemed to hold me and it was only when I
saw the redcoat flash in my peripheral vision that I
could finally answer. "Yes."
   "Hmm, good, but we best make sure he’s good and
gone, aye?" 
   I felt the fingers on his left hand stroke through
the hair at the nape of my neck. His right hand was
pulling my groin against his. His mouth pressed to
mine again. This time, I pushed my tongue into his
mouth. I felt Jack smile, as odd as that seems, and
heard him chuckle in the back of his throat. When Jack
pulled away the second time, I sighed then shook
myself. Why was I feeling disappointed?
   "Aye, that was good, pup. But we got a mission."
He stepped back and started off across the deck toward
the captain’s cabin again. We were within just a few
feet of the door when Jack crouched down, snagged my
wrist and pulled me down beside him. "Awright,
puggle,--."
   "Now you’re just making things up," I objected. I’d
rather liked "pup" and even "kitten" was starting to
grow on me.
   "Am not. Puggle’s a-a, what’s the damn thing
called? Pointy things all over, long nose, eats
ants—merde--," Jack was concentrating and I realized
it was a mistake to have said anything. "Oh, you know!
Like a hedgehog."
   "A porcupine?" I supplied and Jack shook his head.
Finally, I said, "Forget it. You were going to tell me
something?"
   Jack looked at me blankly for a second then said,
"Aye, squab, that I was. If I know the Commodore like
I think I do, the rum is gonna be in wiff yer
‘Lizabeff—if she ain’t burned it all!"
   "What?"
   "Never mind, cockrell,--Oh, I like that ‘un!" I
gave Jack a look and he shrugged with a concessionary
smile. "Anyways, the rum will be in with yer bonnie
lass. If there’s a guard—an’ I’m thinkin’ there might
be—I’ll distract ‘im while you step into the cabin and
find me a bottle. Howzzat fer a plan?"
   Well, it made more sense than some of his plans
had. I nodded and he started to rise then dropped
back. "Echidna! That’s it. Puggle’s a baby echidna.
Come on, calf."
   I sensed that trouble was dead ahead but if getting
a bottle of rum was going to get Jack to shut up and
allow me to get some sleep, I was willing to take the
risk. As we stepped into the corridor leading to the
captain’s quarters, there was a guard. An officer, to
my surprise, stood in front of the door. Jack pushed
me flat against the bulkhead, his hand remaining on my
chest for an extra few seconds. I couldn’t see the
officer’s face or make out his insignia but, next to
me, I heard Jack chuckle.
   "Pleasant surprise that! Awright, cub, wait here
‘til I get him ‘distracted.’"
   All right, I have to admit that I was thinking
about Elizabeth just a little when Jack left me but
that wasn’t the reason why I noticed his rear end as
he walked away. It just moved so-so enticingly. That’s
when I knew the real reason why Jack distracted me so
much that I couldn’t sleep. 
   As Jack approached the door, the officer drew his
pistol and pointed it at him. I couldn’t hear what
Jack said but he spread his hands in an obvious
gesture of helplessness and surrender. Then he leaned
in, very close, to the officer and said something—I
could almost imagine that purr of his—as he ran his
hand down to-Oh my God! was the only thing I could
think. After a few seconds of Jack’s ‘ministrations,’
he and the officer—whose two bands of gold insignia I
finally caught sight of—began to walk away. 
  As soon as they were at the end of the corridor, I
was at the door to the captain’s quarters. I figured
it would take Jack a few seconds to knock the
Lieutenant out then we’d be on our way back to our
"cell." I tried the door to the cabin and it opened. 
   As I crept into the room, I heard Elizabeth sigh on
the bed. I glanced over at her and smiled. She was so
lovely. I’d never seen her asleep, and certainly not
in bed before. It was a beautiful picture. I could
have stood there all night and just watched her but I
was on a mission.
   I started searching the room but it didn’t take
long. Under a tarpaulin in the corner were two cases
of rum. Fortunately, the top one was open so I grabbed
two bottles—who knew how many nights we’d be at sea? 
   I was replacing the tarpaulin when I heard
Elizabeth whisper something. I should have left but my
curiosity got the better of me. I took a step closer
to her and she spoke again.
   "Oh, Jack," She said.
   Jealousy nearly made me drop the bottles I held.
Elizabeth could not be dreaming about Jack! It was at
that moment that I saw the corners of her mouth twitch
up.
   "I know you’re awake!" I said suddenly. "Stop
pretending."
   Elizabeth’s eyes opened and she sat up, a radiant
smile on her face. "Are you jealous?"
   Looking down at her, I smiled sheepishly. "Only a
little."
   She laughed quietly then asked, "And might I
inquire as to the purpose of your visit, Mr. Turner?
Surely you don’t intend to ravish me as I sleep?"
   I raised an eyebrow. "The thought is indeed
tempting, Miss Swann, but, alas, no. Jack can’t sleep
without rum so we’re here to get him some."
   "Tell him I burned it," She said with a wicked
grin.
   "If I wasn’t in a hurry, I’d want to know the whole
story. I have to go now. If Norrington finds me here,
I could end up hanging with Jack," I said then
realized that I could _still_ end up hanging with
Jack. "Good night, Elizabeth."
   She smiled and waved her hand. "Sweet dreams,
Will."
   With a deep breath, I plunged out the door. To my
surprise, Jack wasn’t waiting. I would have thought he
could dispatch a man in a matter of a minute or two,
being a pirate. It came to me that he might be in
trouble. Maybe the officer had proved more difficult
to subdue than anticipated. With a glance around to
see if there was anyone about, I started off down the
corridor in the direction I’d seen Jack lead the
Lieutenant.
   I found a door at the end and was about to open it,
relatively sure that it was the door I’d seen them go
through, when it opened from within. Jack glanced up
at me and hopped back, one hand clutching the laces of
his trousers together.
   "Bloody hell, fingerling, ye nearly made me piss
meself. What in blazes are ye doin’ sneakin’ about?"
   "Waiting for you," I snapped, suddenly angry with
Jack. "I thought you were going to distract the
Lieutenant."
   "I did, mate," Jack gave me a smug smile. "He’s all
‘distracted’ out. Let’s get back t’ our cell afore we
get caught."
   As we made our way back, I handed him one of the
bottles. He beamed at me. "That’s a wonderful sight
fer me sore old eyes."
   I’m not sure what I expected. Maybe that he’d
uncork the bottle and drink half of it down. Instead,
he just held it in his arms like a baby. We arrived
back at our "prison" and Jack immediately curled up on
the bunk, the rum still held in his arms, and drifted
off to sleep.
   "Jack? Aren’t you going to drink any?"
   "Nah, no need now. Nighty-night, piglet." He
replied. The next thing I heard was his familiar
snore.
   I looked at the rum bottle in my hand then at the
pirate snoozing happily on the bunk. If it wasn’t rum
that put Jack out, he’d said it would be ‘sheathing
the sword.’ I’d have to wait until morning to find out
which lieutenant to be angry with. I set down the
bottle of rum and climbed into the hammock they’d
strung. It took a long time before I was able to
sleep, only this time, it wasn’t because of the noise
Jack made.
   I didn’t get a lot of sleep, maybe two or three
hours’ worth. I was awakened by something tickling my
ear. I opened my eyes to see what it was and Jack was
nose-to-nose with me, one of his braids in hand,
tickling it across my ear and neck. For a very brief
moment, I thought he was about to kiss me. Then I
shuddered and pulled away.
   "Dammit, Jack!"
   "G’ mornin’, whelp. Fine night fer sleepin’, wasn’t
it?" He asked with a smirk.
   I snorted and refused to answer. I noticed Jack had
put his boots back on so I found my shoes. I’d just
put them on when the door opened. A pair of redcoats
stood outside. At that instant, Lieutenant Groves
stepped into the room. He glanced at Jack first then
met my eyes. I saw him blush red.
   "Um, yes, well, Commodore Norrington wants you both
on deck. We’ve arrived in Port Royal."
   I took a step back and let Jack file out the door
ahead of me. The Lieutenant followed him and the
redcoats fell in line behind me. We were led into the
bright sunshine and were headed for the bulwark when
Jack abruptly stopped and handed something to Groves.
   "Sorry, love, nicked this last night by accident.
Thanks, mate." When Jack winked at him, I felt that
blasted pang of jealousy again—only this time it
wasn’t so much pang as explosion.
   I stepped between them abruptly and glared at
Groves, who was now blushing so furiously he looked
like his face had been dipped in scarlet ink. I
shouldered Jack out of the way and was rewarded with a
disgruntled look from the pirate. I glowered at him.
   "Easy, whelp," Jack said as he approached the side
himself. "I told ye I had t’ distract him somehow.
Kill two birds wiff one stone, aye?"