Five Hours: The First Hour
by Denyce
wish he'd just get here. If I have to wait much longer...'
Vic came up behind her, gently caressing her shoulder as he moved to sit opposite her. "What's the matter, you look as white as a ghost?" At LiAnn's slight smile, Vic realized how serious it was. "Has something happened to Mac?"
At Victor's concern she smiled, relieved that he really did care for Mac, if for nothing else as a partner whether he admitted it or not.
From the way LiAnn looked at him, he realized Mac was just fine, "Ok Mac's fine. So what's the matter?"
"I saw the Director this afternoon. She—"
Now Vic was getting nervous anything to do with the Director to make LiAnn this upset was not good. "She's given me until Monday to decide between you and Mac, or she'll decide by relocating each of us."
"She can't do that."
"Can and will" LiAnn announced.
"What do you want to do?" Vic asked still not sure what direction LiAnn wanted to go.
"I made a decision." LiAnn stated.
"Oh" Vic lowered his eyes to nervous to read what he'd find in LiAnn's eyes.
LiAnn plunged ahead, "I decided to go with what I knew all along—that I love you both."
"Huh" Looking at LiAnn, he tried to figure out what she was trying to say.
LiAnn waited for Vic to say something.
Then Vic thought he knew, "Oh, I get it you want me to choose for you."
LiAnn shook her head, "No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I want you both."
Vic's jaw dropped open. It was a moment before he could respond, "Wait a minute you want me to share you with Mac?"
"Yes, no. What I mean is I love you both. I can't decide between you, and I don't want to live without either of you."
Vic started shaking his head, "LiAnn, it'd never work. We're too possessive of you now. Can't you just see the arguments coming: who has what night? Not to mention that's an awful place to put you in, bouncing between us. You deserve better. And no offence, even Mac and I deserve better. If this is all a way to get me to decide for you— then fine." After taking a couple of breaths, he began to laugh in a small sarcastic way. With the laughter trailing off he continued on, "Really LiAnn I'm not trying to be all noble or anything, and I do love. But I love you enough to step aside." Signing, "Enough to let you have a complete relationship, even that happens to be with Mac. At least I do know he loves you." Victor stood unable to face her anymore.
LiAnn grabbed his hand to stop him as she stood, "Victor will you stop, I don't want a damn white knight. I want you. Don't ever think differently. Please, will you stay and listen to me?"
Victor nodded; hesitantly, he turned and sat back down as LiAnn held on to his hand, afraid to let him go.
LiAnn intertwined her fingers with his. Taking a deep breath Victor tried to re-center himself, "Alright, I'm here, I'll listen." Leaning forward he asked, "LiAnn, what is you want?"
LiAnn looked up, and for the first time, she noticed how tired Victor was. This is what she's done to him, leaving him straddling the fence of insecurity. After staring intently for several minutes, "I want you both." He started to pull away, but she refused to let go and pulled him toward. "No, hear me out."
"LiAnn, what you're asking isn't fair. I..." Victor shook his head, already believing he'd lost her.
"Victor, please listen. You're right; I am asking the impossible, something I never would have considered before. But now, I know if I do what the Director ordered... I just can't— the only reason why I never did was because either choice would have broken my heart. Without making a choice, it gave me both of you. She wants to destroy that—I" LiAnn still held both of Victor's hands, caressing each hand with her fingers afraid to let him go.
"LiAnn, —I, I don't even know what to say. But I'm just not made that way. I love with my heart, mind and soul, and I'm exactly what Mac calls me, 'the old fart'. I want the commitment; I want to wake up with you in my arms every morning. I want to argue about going to a gallery opening, I want sweaty Saturday morning workouts, over indulgent pastries in bed on Sundays while reading the paper. What I'm trying to say is I —I'm sorry I won't, I can't do a part-time arrangement with you LiAnn."
"I'm not asking you to. At least not the part-time part. Victor what I'm asking is that we, all of us together have a relationship— together. That we do everything you want and more, but—but with Mac."
LiAnn watched as Vic just stared at her, blinking, then the lips opened and closed. Finally Vic shook his head laughing, "For a minute I thought you said—"
"I did Victor."
"What, what, what do you mean? Together?" Victor stuttered out.
"Exactly what I said Victor, —together, the three of us, sharing an intimate relationship." She watched Vic as he grabbed the water and drank it down quickly. Ignoring his shock, she continued, needing to get it out so they could really talk about it, "Sharing a relationship, one place, and one bed. The three of us, together."
Victor couldn't stop the blush that crept up over his face. "LiAnn, ... I" He started laughing nervously. "What in the world ever made you think of that? You think our possessiveness will go away if we share the same bed. That'd be the ultimate competition with you in the middle." Shaking his head, his voice got cold, "I never would have thought you could be so greedy, LiAnn, or that you'd want us to be your matching lap dogs."
"Victor Benjamin Mansfield, that is not what I want, or what I'm asking!"
"Then what are you asking, LiAnn? Surely you don't expect Mac and I—" Turning toward LiAnn he saw she was thinking that.
"But, but I...he, ...we couldn't... I mean we could, but I haven't, and I don't think Mac has.... What..." shaking his head in shock, "What made you ever think..."
"Still holding his hand, LiAnn said, "Don't forget I've been with both of you." She noticed Vic was about to say something and put a finger over his mouth, so she could finish. "I know you haven't, but you did tell me about that one guy in vice."
"That, ...that was a kiss. And I was on the job; I had to, to keep my cover."
"Yes, but that didn't change your thoughts that you wanted something more to happen. That you fantasized about it years later."
Vic stared at her, "That was, ...is between you and me. I never, ... I never acted on it and you know it."
"I know, Victor, but maybe we could have everything. I know that as much as he annoys you, you trust Mac with your life, to watch your back. You can't tell me you don't find him attractive, even just a tiny bit."
"I, I..." He couldn't think of anything to say. It was true he did find Mac attractive. Did trust him with his life, but to be with him and LiAnn. He closed his eyes and couldn't stop himself; he began to fantasize kissing those full pouting lips. Vic opened his eyes, really shocked with himself, as he was able to clearly see Mac's lips puffy and raw from his kisses.
LiAnn smiled shyly knowing Victor was thinking about it, and her own face heated, as she thought of the two of them together. They both were wonderful lovers, but each was different enough that she could see they would compliment the other. This time, it was Victor who interpreted her thoughts. "It still won't work. We're talking about Mac who prides himself on his masculinity and the various conquests of the female variety. No, I don't want to lose a partner; as you pointed out, I completely trust you both. It's best..."
"What's best Victor? I didn't get a choice, and it'll be out of my hands on Monday if things don't work out. I didn't just decide this on a whim. I don't want to loose either of you, and I'm not willing to just walk away without trying. Are you? Are you willing to turn your back and lose both of us? She will relocate each of us otherwise."
Victor thought about it, 'Am I willing to just walk away? No, but do I want what she's asking for, and with Mac? I don't want to screw things up. But what's to screw up, but if we never see each other again, how screwed up will that be? Will I be able to look myself in the mirror without wondering about the, what ifs? No, she's right losing both of them is not a good alternative. Five minutes ago, I never would have considered anything like this. But now, under the given circumstances... And to give the Director that power, that final nail of ownership.' Victor looked up from his introspective.
"So, does Mac steal the covers?" he said, bemused.
LiAnn laughed as relief flooded her. Climbing into straddling Victor's lap, she leaned down and kissed the man who owned one-half of her heart.
