by Denyce
've already told you it doesn't mean anything."
"Come on Vic you can't say that. Look you saved them for six years. Hid them away from LiAnn, and now you're playing little games to ignore what's going on." Mac yelled before sitting heaving a heavy sign. "They mean something, or you wouldn't be doing all this."
"All this! All this is—is that you're invading my privacy. LiAnn didn't know, you didn't know BECAUSE it's none of your damn business." Victor watched as his words sliced through his lover. "Mac, it was six years ago—A life time ago. It's just a couple of stupid letters and a few pictures. It has nothing to do with my life now, or when I was with LiAnn."
Mac thumbed through the pictures again then stood shaking his head angry by what he was seeing in the pictures. "Nothing, this is nothing. Fuck, Vic this is about you being married; a wife, and you think that has nothing to do with me—I'm supposed to be your partner! Someone that you want to share your life with." Mac took a shattered breath as his mind voiced his pain, 'I was so close I thought I found home in his arms, but he's not really with me—he doesn't even love and trust me enough to tell me the truth.'
"I don't know what you want me to think Vic; you've kept an important part of yourself hidden. I know from everything I did in my own past that's not the worst. The worse is you don't love me enough to tell me the truth. All you've done tonight is prove you don't really trust in me, or our love." Mac looked down at the picture and softly stated, "I can see it you know?"
Vic looked up not understanding what Mac was saying.
"I can see that you loved her. It wasn't a mistake was it Vic? She meant something to you—enough that you saved and hid the pictures, and a couple of letters. — And she didn't die, because that you would have told me. No, but you are protecting her — you loved her enough that even after six years you're still keeping her a secret. Even while I hold her pictures, guarding her from me—you think I would hurt her. That you can't tell me the truth?" Mac started to shake as tears slipped down his face.
"Baby, please don't; it's not like that—please?" Vic moved to hold Mac, and for a minute Mac let him.
Everything in Mac's world was crashing around him. Victor taught him to believe, to trust. Victor was his heart, his foundation of love, his truth and happiness. But now the Victor who stood holding him represented nothing but lies.
Victor felt Mac pull away and watched him drop the pictures; his appearance contorted in pain with tears streaking his face. Mac wiped a hand over his eyes wiping away the tears, and Vic stood there watching as Mac's old mask of indifference was firmly set in place.
"Call me Vic, when you're ready to talk and follow in all those beliefs of love, trust, and commitment you normally preach about. Until then—I'll get a room somewhere else."
"Mac, don't..." Victor tried to grab Mac, but he pulled away and shoved Victor out of his way as he made his way to the door and walked out.
Victor stood there staring at the open door aware only of the pain he caused. Slowly Vic closed the door and awkwardly sat down in a chair remembering the look in Mac's eyes—the love, and the betrayal that he caused. A betrayal of lies that could all end with the truth, but it was a truth he could never reveal without people losing their lives, including Mac's, and that wasn't an acceptable risk. The minutes passed that turned into hours as Vic sat frozen replaying Mac's hurt and shock when he refused to explain, over and over again as if the image of Mac's pain would change, but it never did.
