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The Totally Crazy Marriage
by Eider and Yvi


I told you, you shouldn't drive that fast!"

"It wasn't the speed. I told you about the strange sound from the beginning. You said you didn't hear a thing."

"So, now it's all my fault?"

"No, I didn't mean it that way! Honey, we are getting married today. We shouldn't argue."

"You're right, darling!"

Scully kissed Skinner. Then they got out of the car to try and find out what was wrong.

"Are you sure that..." Scully began.

"I told you that it wasn't the speed!" Skinner nearly shouted. He lifted the hood to view the engine.

"Maybe we should have checked the oil before we left." Scully said, not very helpful.

"Honey! Get into the car! I can do this on my own!"

Scully got into the car and turned on the radio. She searched for a station with loud music. At the moment she really needed loud music. Her fiancÈ gave her a dirty look so she turned up the volume a bit more. After some minutes she heard Skinner's fingers knocking slightly on the window, but she didn't look up. As she heard more and more tapping, she finally took a quick look to see what was happening.

It wasn't Skinner, it had started to rain. The rain fell on Skinner, rolling down his bald head in every direction. He looked like a wet dog and she decided to go to him with an umbrella. She was getting wet, but she didn't care. She was with the man she was going to marry in a couple of hours. She didn't even care when a huge truck passed beside them and splashed dirty water all over them.

"Your dress is ruined." Skinner said.

"I don't care. By the way, it's your mother's."

"Oh, that's great. She didn't care about it and now you..."

"Hey, come on. It wasn't my idea that I should wear it. And you could have warned me." She screamed angrily.

"I didn't know that it was now pink!" Skinner tried to make an excuse.

###

At the same time, in the hotel where Skinner and Scully had organized their wedding, the Well-Manicured Man was sitting in a chair near the entrance. He didn't want to be recognized so he wore a long black beard and large glasses. He was in hiding since some of the members of the Consortium had tried to kill him. They weren't successful. He had sent a clone of himself to the meeting with Mulder. This double had told Mulder nearly everything. The WMM knew that he didn't tell Mulder that he was only a clone. And then he died in the explosion. The WMM smiled, he had been too clever for them all. Now that he had survived several attempts to kill him, he had opened this hotel. He named it "Uncle John's". That was the name his niece called him. She sometimes visited him here. He looked forward to their meetings every time. The last time she had had blue hair.

The entrance door opened and the WMM's thinking was interrupted by the arrival of Fox Mulder, the man whose father had worked with him a long time. Fox looked exactly like his father at that age. The WMM held a newspaper in front of his face to hide the smile. He thought of the surprise he had planned for Mulder. He knew about his love for a certain person and today he wanted them to finally get together.

Mulder asked for the keys to his room. He was the only other person participating in Scully and Skinner's wedding. They had sent out over two hundred invitations, but no one believed it or accepted, so the only one who would be joining them was Mulder.

The WMM knew Mulder's room assignment. He waited a few minutes then stood up and went to Mulder's room. He knocked on the door and it was opened by a surprised Mulder.

"Who are you?" he asked staring at the man.

"You don't recognize me? Or did you think I was dead?" Then the WMM realized that he was still wearing the black beard and the glasses. He took them off.

"You?"

"Yes. Mulder, it's me."

"What do you want? I mean, why are you here?" Mulder couldn't believe the man was still alive.

"I'm here because it's my hotel."

"You are Uncle John?" He asked stupidly.

"My niece calls me that, but that's not of interest to you, not now. I'm here because I have information for you. There is someone who has some very important things to say to you. You will meet in one hour at the west end of the 13th floor. Be there, I'm telling you this as a friend."

Mulder nodded and asked himself who that person could be.

The WMM put on the beard and the glasses again and left the hotel room. In the hallway he saw Alex Krycek, his former driver. He wondered a bit, because he had been told that Alex would arrive at the hotel in 22 minutes. Even though he didn't work with the consortium any longer, he still had good spies and informants. The WMM shook his head, if he had known that Alex would be here this soon he would have made the date a bit earlier. He went towards him.

"Hey, Alex." The man didn't react.

The black-bearded hotel-owner shook the Alex's left arm.

"Wow. That's really a good prosthesis. Even if you don't work for me any longer, please be at the west end of the 13th floor in one hour. It is really important. Thank you, Alex." With these words the WMM left him.

"Sorry. But my name isn't Alex. My name is Victor." Victor Mansfield tried to explain.

"A new alias. Brilliant!" The WMM turned around a last time, holding both thumbs upwards.

Okay. Vic thought In one hour at the west end of the 13th floor. Mac wants to meet me at almost the same time at the east end of that floor. If this guy was just crazy and there is nobody, I will still be on time to meet Mac. But this man really behaved weird. The fake beard, the glasses. Maybe he was a new agency informant with poor taste in disguises.

After the hour nearly passed, Vic was waiting impatiently at the west end of the 13th floor. He planned to wait only a minute or two before he ran over to the east side where Mac was waiting. Mac had decided to tell Li Ann about their relationship, about them.

Them, Vic smiled. He had never thought that he would find his new love in his fiancÈe's apartment. When he first saw Mac standing there with white roses in his hands Vic's heart had leaped. Vic had had to hide his true feelings for Mac by putting on an act for Li Ann pretending as if he hated him.

He had never dreamed that Mac could feel the same, but one night, when they both were drunk and at Vic's apartment it had happened. Mac had kissed him. When they woke up the next morning in the same bed and Mac behaved as if that was normal, Vic was sure.

Suddenly Vic heard someone coming towards him. He was standing in the shadow and didn't turn around. Then he heard a voice, asking him about someone called Samantha. Vic raised his eyebrows not understanding what was going on and turned around. In front of him stood a man with brown hair, nearly his size. Then Vic saw recognition in the man's eyes.

"Krycek? You?"

"Umm... No, my name is Victor. I told..."

"Shut up! He said that you have some important news for me." He pressed Vic against the wall.

"Hey, man! I don't know you! And I don't know what important news I should have for you."

"Alex! You don't know me? After all we've been to each other? After all we shared? You don't remember me? I'm hurt." Mulder took a step back.

"I told you that my name is Victor, not Alex." Vic was still leaning against the wall.

"Maybe we should do something to refresh your memory."

"Would be nice, yeah. No. Wait.. I'm Victor, that's my name!"

"Alex, your lies don't impress me. I know a way to make you remember everything." With these words he opened Vic's belt and swung him around.

"Hey! I don't even know your name and don't want to..."

"Alex! Shut up and soon you will remember everything."

"I told you..."

"Hey you two! What's going on there?" Duncan MacLeod asked, who saw the men in a very abnormal situation.

###

At the east end of the 13th floor Mac was waiting for Vic. He had told Li Ann about their relationship and she went totally crazy. He was happy that he got away. He had found a church nearby and he wanted to show Vic some interesting parts of the church. Mac had never been really religious, but he saw some advantages in a dark church. Some neat hidden areas. But he didn't want to go too far. Sometimes he wished Vic would make decisions like that for them. Mac saw a big problem in Vic's romantic behavior. Sometimes he really enjoyed it, but often he had the feeling that Vic preferred a romantic atmosphere rather than the hot sex they had.

Suddenly he heard steps behind him and hid himself behind a curtain to surprise Vic.

Krycek searched for Mulder. He had heard about Scully's wedding and when he saw that Mulder wasn't at his apartment, he was afraid that Mulder would marry her. He knew that Mulder had never loved Scully, but he had been away a long time, maybe Mulder thought that he was dead. He hated it, but it was very easy to find him. Mulder was always found in rooms numbered 1013, 1310, 1112 or 2111. It was normally that easy, but this time Mulder had to be somewhere on the 13th floor. He heard someone breathing behind a curtain and as he turned around, there stood a man with a stupid smile on his lips.

"Vic! You finally managed it. Now we can go!"

Krycek held his gun right in the other man's face.

"Go where? And why? And who is Vic?"

"Vic. Come on! Not that little game again. We don't have a lot time. Li Ann was very angry when I told her about us."

"Us?"

"Us."

"Okay, little boy. We will go, but be quiet. Understood?"

"Vic! I didn't know that you liked that game so much!"

"Shut up!" Krycek pressed his gun into Mac's shoulder.

###

Meanwhile in the church:

The Immortals were standing in a circle at one end of the church. They were discussing what else they should do. They had started with beating up each other, but because they were on Holy Ground none had wanted to try to kill another.

So they had started a discussion about a vote for the "One". But as everyone voted for himself, they found out that they would not have success with that method.

"Okay, no vote. But what about writing every name on a piece of paper, throwing all in a hat and then pulling out one of them." Methos explained with many gestures.

"No way, man! You'll cheat!" Kronos shouted loudly and tried to shove Methos.

Suddenly Cory Raines said "Hey, guys. What's up? I mean, we can't hide for hours in a church. What if we go someplace else."

"Like the bridge at the end of the street?" Methos asked, some ideas of torturing the others in his mind.

"No, that's not a good one! It should be some place really nice." Kronos suggested.

A priest stopped his car in front of the church. It was the man Mulder often called CSM, but now, after the Aliens had burned the Consortium, he was afraid of fire. So he had quit smoking and started drinking. The Cigarette-Smoking-Man, ummm... the Former-Cigarette-Smoking-But-Now-Drinking-Alcohol-Instead-Man ran into the church. He should have been here one hour ago, but what wedding had ever been punctual. He had to work because the priest that was to do the wedding had fallen ill. Before he entered the church he took a sip out of the bottle he hid in his bible.

The priest saw a few men in long, black trench coats standing at one end of the church. The FCSBNDAIM gulped, they reminded him of that Italian family he should have married some days ago. But he was so drunk that day that he didn't realize that the bride ran away and he tried to marry two men. If he hadn't been so drunk that he had fallen down, he would have been dead by now. So the FCSBNDAIM stopped before he reached them. He observed them from behind a column. They had swords, every one of them.

Then the former smoker saw Alex Krycek; at least he thought it was Alex Krycek. He thought if his former employee was among them, then it couldn't be that dangerous for him. He walked out of the shadow of the column and spoke to 'Alex Krycek'.

"Alex! Where have you been all this time? And where is my car? I ordered you to bring me a red car. A red one with yellow smilies. Where is it?"

He stepped between the Immortals and stood in front of the man he had spoken to. This Alex Krycek wore a long black trench coat over his leather jacket and a held sword in his hand and was, in reality, Cory Raines. He looked at him in some irritation. "Hey, man! What's your problem?"

###

Krycek followed Mac to the church but stopped at the door and punched him right in the face.

Mac lay on the ground. "Why did you do that?" he asked, tears in his eyes.

"Boy, you're really nice, but my heart belongs to someone else. And I have to stop him, because he's going to make a big mistake today."

"No!" Mac cried out loud and started to get up.

Krycek entered the church, seeing the group of trench coat-wearing men with the priest in the middle of them.

"Hey, priest! I want to cancel a marriage."

"And who are y..." the FCSBNDAIM stopped when he recognized Alex Krycek. He looked from the Krycek in the trench coat to the Krycek in the familiar leather jacket. Impossible. He opened his bottle to take a sip. He had really to stop this, otherwise he would be crazy in about two weeks.

The newly arrived Alex Krycek walked over to them, recognizing the priest as his former boss. Then he saw a mirror image of himself, wearing a trench coat.

"Oh, you, the almighty boss, have made another clone of me. Like the one you sent to kill Mulder and his father, because you knew of my love for him. A really clever trick, but it won't work!" With this words he shot at Cory who fell down.

"You know that you can't copy me." He laughed at the drinker.

"And you can't kill me." Cory said as he slowly stood up. He laughed at Alex.

Alex saw that his clone had both arms and he himself was wearing a prosthesis. He started to wonder if he was the real Krycek or if he was just the clone of this other man. Krycek really didn't know what do, so he shot again at this sword-carrying guy. He fell down and stood up again. They repeated this several times. Krycek was now really worried. He scratched his temple with his gun.

"Okay, if this were a chess game, I'd say 'Remise'." He said.

"Okay, even if I made no attempt to kill you... I agree." Cory grinned.

###

Back on the west side of the 13th floor:

"Who are you?" Mulder asked the Immortal.

"My name is Duncan MacLeod. I was born in the Scottish Highlands over 400 years ago and..."

"Oh, a new X-File!" Mulder ran towards the Immortal, pulling his notepad out of his jacket.

Vic turned around and saw the two men running away. The one with the long black trench coat kept looking back with a scared expression at his pursuer.

"Wait! Mr. MacLeod. I feel something strange about you. What did you say? You were born over 400 years ago? Do you have any special abilities?

Vic shook his head. This guy was really spooky and but somehow really cute too. Then he looked again at his watch. Damn, Mac was waiting for him. He had to hurry. He was happy that the other man had made the crazy one run away. He had promised Mac he would be there. Mac had said something about the church next to the hotel, and the shine in Mac's eyes had told him a really nice story. He also really wanted to know Li Ann's reaction. He arrived the east side but no one was there. He checked his watch again, maybe Li Ann had started to cry and Mac needed some more time to comfort her. He heard steps behind him and turned around with a smile on his face; which quickly changed into a fearful expression as he saw that it was Li Ann. And she looked very angry.

"No, I can't believe it! I just finished our relationship and already you're with someone new. And it's Mac! I don't want to marry you. I just expected you to grieve a little. If I had known that this would make your relationship with Mac serious, I would have never have broken up with you!"

"Li Ann... it's..."

"Don't tell me anything!" She grabbed his left ear and pulled him towards the elevators. "Where is Mac?"

"I'd like to know that myself. We... could you please stop that? We were to meet here."

"He isn't here, is he? So he isn't serious about it. See? Where did you want to go?"

"He told me something about the church.."

"You are going to get married? Right here? No way!"

Vic thought he'd better shut up, if he didn't want Li Ann even more angry, if that were possible. So he let her pull him into the elevator. She ran over to the church, still holding Vic by his ear. In front of the church they found Mac standing and still crying. Li Ann took his right ear in her other hand and pulled them into the church. Mac wiped away his tears and looked surprised at Vic.

"But I thought... you told me that... you went in there just a few minutes ago."

"I really don't know what is going on here!"

Li Ann held both by their ears and walked straight towards the group of trench coated men with the priest standing next to leather jacket-wearing man.

"You're the priest, aren't you?" She shouted.

"Umm... yeah, I think so." The drinker answered.

"I want you to cancel this marriage. They are not going to marry!"

"Another intelligent person." The leather jacket-wearing guy said and turned around only to be surprised at an Asian woman who held another clone of him by the ear. They all looked at each other as a voice called.

"But we still want to get married!" A little red headed woman rushed into the church. She wore a pink dress; which clashed terribly with her hair and it was covered in dirt too. Some steps behind her a bald headed man followed her, he was also totally dirty.

Skinner was carrying all the bags Scully had packed. He had wondered why she had packed so many things. They had lived together for over two weeks and all her stuff was less than the nine suitcases he was carrying. She knew that they were going home before they went on honeymoon. But she didn't care. All she could think of while she had packed was her hair, her giant hair-dryer and all the other stuff. Skinner sighed and put down all the things in one of the corners before he joined his fiancÈe in front of the priest, who was now standing at the altar.

"So, we all are here. You can start." He shouted at the FCSBNDAIM after he recognized him.

"Okay. Mr. Skinner, do you want to take..."

"No! Alex Krycek is mine!" Mulder swung down from the top of the church with a rope made up of the hotel's sheets.

He found himself standing in front of three Alex Kryceks. All were wearing black leather jackets, but the one in the middle was wearing a trench coat over his.

"Alex?" he asked.

Every one of them smiled at him.

"Okay, I have to find the right one. That's easy. Nobody kisses like Krycek."

He stood in front of the first one, grabbed his shoulders and kissed him. Then he got punched by the young man standing behind Vic. After that the furious Asian woman punched Mulder, then Vic and Mac. Mulder fell on the ground. He stood up again, smiling at Vic.

"Not you."

Now he stood in front of the trench coated one. He grabbed his neck and kissed him passionately. After one second he realized that this couldn't be Krycek. He tried to stop the kiss, but Cory didn't want to let him go. Mulder struggled and started to hit Cory.

"Cory! Let him go!" Duncan, who just entered the church, ordered him.

"Duncan. It just began to be good!" Cory complained, but he let Mulder go.

"Cory! I can't believe that you betrayed me!" A young woman ran towards him, punching Mulder down again.

"Umm... who are you?" Cory asked the woman.

"And now you don't remember me I can't believe that!" The woman started to cry. Cory led her away to comfort her.

Now the real Alex wanted to help Mulder. He stretched out his arm to help him stand up. But he didn't remember that his prosthesis wasn't that strong. So Mulder fell again on the ground, this time with a fake left arm in his hands. They both looked at it and started to laugh. Then Alex helped him up with his other hand.

"Mulder. I was so afraid you might have forgotten me. I heard of the marriage and you weren't at home. So..." In Krycek's eyes Mulder could see tears.

"You know that she's a friend of mine. She asked me to be the witness, that's all."

"And I was afraid you would marry her." Now Alex was crying.

"Marry? Scully? I thought you knew that she's just a friend of mine. A good friend, but only a friend. I could never marry her. You're the one I'm in love with, the one and only. And I would have waited for you. Alex, I love you."

"Really?" Krycek wiped his eyes and nose with his sleeve.

"Really." Mulder promised and hugged him, trying not to touch the wet and slimy green parts of Alex's jacket sleeve.

Krycek bent over to give Mulder the final evidence that he was Alex Krycek, but Scully shoved them away.

"Now it's my turn!"

Mulder looked at her in fright.

"Scully, you know that we are just friends."

"Not that! I want to get married! Right now!"

"Okay, where were we? Mr. Skinner, do you take.."

"Get down, all of you, right now!" Jackie Janczyk entered the church. Li Ann, Mac and Vic turned around.

"Jackie! This is not the time for this!"

"Yes it is!" She shouted and pulled out her guns. She started to shoot laughing the whole time. All the others hid.

"Jackie, why are you doing this?" Mac asked, trying to calm her down.

"I don't know, just for fun!"

Mulder jumped up and wanted to run towards her, hoping for a new X-File. But Krycek pushed him down. Mulder misunderstood this and immediately started to kiss him.

"Mulder, I know. That's the same thing I want to do right now, but this woman is crazy. And we better deal with her, otherwise we could be dead very soon."

"I could less care about her, or about them—look." Mulder said and pointed at the bright light that shone over the church.

"No, not them again." The FCSBNDAIM sighed and took another sip out of his bottle. But it was too late. In every corner of the church an Alien could be seen. Even Jackie quit her 'work' and looked at them. All the aliens were standing around them and if they could show evil grins, they did.

Suddenly the door opened and another of the Alex Krycek clones ran in. He was wearing a blue muscle-shirt and brown trousers, holding a big gun in his hands.

"You aliens! I should have killed you all. I was hired to kill you and by my name, I'll do it!"

"By the way, what is your name and who hired you?" The former smoker wanted to know.

"My name is Baines and Nexus hired me to kill an Alien hanging around in their underground laboratory."

"Hey, I saw that movie. It was really bad. And man, you died in the exploding elevator!" Mac laughed.

"Really? I didn't read the script that far. Okay, I'll go back." He turned around and closed the doors, his head was hanging down.

"What is Nexus?" the drinker asked and thought about changing his job.

"Just a firm in a movie. If you didn't see it, don't worry." Mac explained to him.

"Hey, where could I get that movie?" Mulder wanted to know.

"I don't know. It's so bad that you'll need a lot of luck to find it." Mac answered.

"Now the drinker thought about becoming a teacher. He could tell them who 'really' shot JFK and other things. That would be a good job for a guy like him. And history books are very big, so he could hide two bottles in one.

All the time they were discussing the movie, the aliens waited and checked their wallets for a card of an earth videobuster. But none of them had one, so they brought their attention back to their victims. But the Immortals were behind them and cut off the alien's heads with their swords.

"No, please, I have a wife and two kids." One of them screamed, but it was too late. His head lay on the ground and the Immortals started to play soccer with it. But it was a bad idea, because their heads weren't round enough. They stopped after only one and a half turns.

###

During that whole trouble, Li Ann grabbed her gun and so Mac's and Vic's ears were free and where they belonged. They exchanged a short look and immediately knew what to do. Vic took her left arm and Mac her right one. Vic's other hand covered her mouth and Mac's her eyes. Together they hustled her out to Mac's car that was parked near the church. Soon as Li Ann felt the fresh air, she started to struggle and both men had slight problems holding her. Mac looked at Vic to make sure that he was ready. Vic grabbed her other arm and nodded. Mac opened the trunk and Vic laid her in it.

"Where are we going now?" Mac asked.

"Just let me drive and you'll see." Vic whispered in his lover's ear.

###

Meanwhile in the church Scully was jumping up and down and shouting.

"No! I want to get married! Right now! And all the others have to stay! I need some witnesses to say that I finally got a man, no one would believe me. They all think I had never had a date. But I have and more than one. Okay, maybe I had only three dates... But I had some. I don't need no porn films!"

At this sentence she looked evilly at Mulder and Krycek, who grinned at each other. Skinner took the time to take a step back. And another step. And another step. As Scully turned around to grab his arm and pull him in front of the drinking priest, she saw that he was nearly ten steps behind her, trying to get away. He would like to be married again—but not to such a crazy woman. Scully started to scream.

"Honey! I didn't tell you to go anywhere. Come here!"

Skinner looked down and slowly walked back to his bride.

"Maybe you should let them marry. If your superior can be treated like a dog by your partner. Partner at work! 'Partner at work' emphasized to remind everybody that Mulder and Scully only work together. "Think what you could get away with on your expense sheets." Krycek leered at Mulder.

"Darling, I think that's a good idea. Okay, change the rings! Scully, hurry up!"

Krycek pulled at Mulder's sleeve.

"Ummm... honey. I know that there is some evidence still lying in the Consortium's office. We could drive there and you can prove to everybody that you're right. That you've always been right, all those years."

"Alex! That's the best thing you ever told me. Okay, the next best thing, because the best you ever told me was that you love me." He stared into Alex's eyes, hugged him and they slowly slid down towards the floor.

"No, not again!" Scully screamed.

"Let them do their own thing. We have other stuff to do." Skinner said, but he watched in fascination the men on the floor, who were kissing each other passionately.

As the FCSBNDAIM repeated the sentences he had been trying to say for over 23 minutes, Krycek and Mulder took the opportunity to disappear while everyone's attention was on the marrying couple. They took Alex's car, which now was built for handicapped and they drove to New York. Alex found a music tape he had recorded at home and—coincidence or not—it was the song "Bonnie & Clyde" by Die Toten Hosen. Alex sang the lyrics loudly and Mulder was happy that they weren't stuck in a traffic jam. He loved Alex very much, but he decided that he would never ask him to sing a lullaby.

"And we feel like Bonnie and Clyde. Just lay your head upon my shoulder, it's so good to know you're there and we feel.... Mulder, come on. That could be our lives!"

After the long drive they arrived the Consortium's office and Alex pulled out his keys.

"You have keys for the office? And when you come to me, you use other things to enter my apartment."

"Because we do other things in your apartment than in the office." Krycek smiled. "Okay, here we are. Here is all the evidence you ever wanted."

"That's unbelievable." Mulder looked into the files and documents. He forgot Alex totally. And Alex began to cry.

"Mulder. I thought you loved me!"

"I did! I do! And I always will!" he promised wiping Alex tears away. Mulder looked at the tears. They were green. He looked up, Alex's whole face was green. He looked shocked at him, turned around, now seeing that everything was green.

"Green! Green!"

He took a pencil and made a little hole in the wall.

"Look! Even inside the wall is green!" Mulder made the hole bigger and bigger.

"Mulder! No!"

But it was too late, the whole building crashed. And Mulder and Krycek were left sitting on some of its bricks.

"It's gone! A new X-File!"

###

Back in the church, some time after Mulder and Krycek left.

Cory Raines, who had comforted the girl in his own way, was now at top of the church. There he had hidden from the Aliens and that crazy girl shooting around. He leaned back. Yeah, he really liked his bisexuality. In all the years he had lived, he had really learned how to enjoy sex with men and women.

Now he looked down at the others, the few that were still there. He wanted to count them but when he bent over he fell down. When the dust settled, everybody looked down in the hole he had made in the floor of the church.

"Hey, boy! Get up!" the FCSBNDAIM said. "It's a house of god. Don't lay around so lazy!"

Scully and Skinner looked depressed. They would never forget this day. Scully was about pronounce the time of death, but in that moment Cory stood up, spit out some dust and looked at the priest.

"Okay. I do!"

"No!" Scully screamed. "That's my line!" And she started to cry.

"Then say it. No one will interrupt you this time. I swear!" Skinner tried to calm her down.

"I do!"

"Then I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Skinner. You can kiss the bride."

"That's so wonderful." Methos said and wiped away a tear from his eye.

Skinner kissed Scully and after he was finished he wiped the steam from his glasses. He wanted to thank the priest, but he was gone, together with Cory. With Krycek gone the FCSBNDAIM needed a new employee and Cory wanted to take some time off and do something other than rob banks. So he decided to go with the drinker. Anyway, the drinker surely had some alcohol and he could use a drink.

When they were standing on the parking area, the former smoker started to smile. For he had waited for this for years and now someone had made his dream come true. There was a red car with yellow smilies. It might be too obvious for robberies, but—as noted—Cory wanted to try something new.

Inside the church Skinner was still looking for the priest. In that way he saw all the beautiful corners of the church and he decided to become an artist and draw all the churches he could find. With this idea in his head he asked Scully, if they should start their honeymoon right now.

"Okay, I have all my clothes with me. But you don't have anything."

"I have my credit card. So that won't be a problem."

Meanwhile, Vic had driven his lover and Li Ann to the place he had wanted to drive to all along. He got the idea when Li Ann had spoken about a wedding. Normally he planned things a long time before implementing them, but this time he was spontaneous. Mac kept asking him where they were going. But Vic kept giving the same reply.

"You'll see, my love."

So Mac quit asking. Mac had an idea. Vic, the most romantic man he had ever known, was driving to Niagara Falls to ask him to marry him. That would be typical of Vic. But then that idea couldn't be right. Vic would have planned something like this for months and they had this time off duty by sheer accident.

But when Mac noticed that they driving straight driving north, he asked Vic again for their destination.

"Mac, trust me."

"'Kay, hon!"

And now they were standing in front of Niagara Falls and Mac smiled at Vic.

"You're so romantic. And that's the reason why I love you." With these words he kissed Vic.

"Let's go, the boat's waiting for us."

"What about Li Ann?"

"Hmm... Good question. Do you have some rope in your car?"

"Sure" Mac took a cord from under the seat.

"Good. We'll bind her to the tree over there. With a scarf in her mouth she'll be quiet."

"Your ideas are really brilliant!" Mac smiled at him.

They did it that way and then ran down to a boat.

"You don't look like Mr..." the priest on the boat tried to stop them.

"No, they don't want to get married. They told us that we could marry instead." Vic explained quickly to the man, because he saw some cars coming, with flowers and all that stuff.

"Okay,." The priest signaled the captain and they cast off.

"So, Mr. Mansfield, do you want to marry Mac Ramsey?" The priest asked, after all the bureaucratic stuff was done.

"Yes, I do."

"And Mr. Ramsey, do you want to marry Victor Mansfield?"

"Y..." Mac wanted to answer, but in that moment the boat made a sharp turn to avoid crashing into another boat. Mac lost his balance and fell into the water.

"Mac!"

"Vic!"

Vic jumped into the water to save Mac. He knew that Mac couldn't swim. When they both were sitting on the boat again in wet clothes, Mac ended his sentence.

"Yes, I do."

"Now exchange the rings." The priest said. Mac felt for the ring, he'd had in his pocket some minutes ago.

"I... I can't find it. Vic, I'm sorry... but I think I lost it..." His eyes were filled with tears.

"You lost it?" Vic shook him angrily. "You lost it?"

"I think so." Mac started to cry.

"No, I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. All I need to know is that you love me, Maccyboy."

###

At the same time, Scully was waiting impatiently in the car.

Sure, her husband had promised her a honeymoon, but this was the 17th church they had stopped at and they had only driven 58.80 miles.

Skinner returned with a newly drawn church.

"Honey, where are we going?" she asked him.

"How about Niagara Falls?"

###

Exactly at that moment Alex asked Mulder, if he wanted to go for a little trip. To rest from the stress of the last few weeks.

"And what place do you have in mind?"

"A romantic place with lots of water and a wonderful landscape." Alex smiled.

"Niagara Falls." They said simultaneously.

###

At the same time, the other Immortals were still sitting in the church. Kronos still thinking. Then he jumped up.

"I know a nice place where we could make the final decision for the 'One'"

"Where? Where? Where?" Methos wanted to know.

"Niagara Falls!"

###

special_agent_yv-@gmx.net
teropy1-@imaginet.fr

This is a little story that was started in my autumn break as I visited Eider.
We had a lot of fun writing this little piece...
Happy birthday, hon!
And to all the others: I hope you have some fun with this story.
Ciao, Yvi
Title: The Totally Crazy Marriage
Authors: Yvi special_agent_yv-@gmx.net and Eider teropy1-@imaginet.fr Slash/Humor/Crossover PG-13
Disclaimer: All X-Files
Characters in this Story belong to CC, 1013, Fox. All Characters from Once A Thief belong to Alliance. All Immortals of Highlander to whoever created them and Baines from Xtro II belongs to this other firm.
In case you are unfamiliar with any of the characters here is a little description:
X-Files: Krycek (played by Nick) is a triple agent that formerly worked for the CSM. The WMM helped Mulder in the movie "Fight the Future" and it seemed to many that he died. Skinner is Mulder and Scully's superior at the FBI.
Once A Thief: Vic (played by Nick) was engaged to Li Ann. She broke up with him some weeks after her former fiancé, Mac, came back from the dead. The three of them now work for a shadowy gouvernment agency. Some time later Jackie joined the team. Jackie's been raised to become a mob boss.
Highlander: Immortals have always fought each other and always will. The last one alive will gain a kinda prize (anybody found out what it is?). Immortals are governed by common rules; one of them is to not fight on Holy Ground. You can say that MacLeod is the good guy and Methos and Kronos are the bad ones. Here Nick plays Cory Raines, a smart little bank robber.
Xtro II: This movie is like Alien. In this... thing, Nick played Baines.
I think this is all you need to know. Have fun...

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