by Erika
"Sorry," Vic mumbled in his sleep.
Ray bent down and kissed Victor swiftly on the lips. "I have to check up on
my friend. I'll be right back." He moved off the bed and hurriedly put on
some clothes. Before he left the room he wrote Vic a brief message, leaving
the note next to the bed. Ray closed the door behind him and made his way
to the hotel room he had shared with Fraser for the past two days.
Standing now in front of that hotel room, Ray debated what he should do:
tell Fraser where he'd been or just leave. He looked at his watch. It was 5
o'clock in the morning, hopefully Fraser was still asleep. He opened the
door and was quite surprised to discover it was still dark inside. He
actually assumed Fraser would have waited up for him.
Ray slowly made his way to the chair where he had left his backpack and was
almost blinded by the light that was switched on.
He blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. Fraser stood
next to the lamp glaring at him. "Ray."
This seemed too surreal. Ray rubbed his eyes, "Fraser."
"Ray."
"Look, I just came to get my things," Ray informed him. Maybe it was for the
best if Fraser didn't know about Vic. "I've decided to go back to Chicago."
Fraser just continued to glare at him. "Have a ticket and all."
Fraser just stood there looking at him. It didn't appear as though he had
heard him. Ray started to fidget.
"No."
"What?" Ray wasn't sure he had heard things right. For a moment there he'd
thought Fraser said, No.'
Fraser moved toward him and Ray found himself backing away. Ray felt his
back hit the wall. "Fraser?" Ray said when the mountie reached out and took
Ray's wrist, lifting it up and Ray could feel, as Fraser smelled him, the
grip on his wrist tightening.
The mountie then took Ray's other wrist and pinned the cop to the wall.
Fraser moved closer to Ray's body. Ray found himself moaning when Fraser's
thigh pressed against his crotch.
"Who was he?" Fraser whispered in Ray's ear.
Ray shook his head. He was dreaming, that had to be it, Fraser would never
react like this.
"Who was he?" Fraser asked again, his lips moving just inches above Ray's
mouth.
"Fraser?" he said huskily.
"Tell me."
Dief barked and Fraser suddenly released him.
"Fraser?" Ray said as Dief came to stand next to him not understanding what
was going on, how could he know about Victor?
"When were you going to tell me you were leaving?" Fraser asked him.
"It's not like I planned it. I just bought the ticket and it seemed for the
best. It's not like you even want me here, anyway." Ray admitted feeling
guilty and hurt at the same time. He walked over to the chair and grabbed
his backpack.
"Ray."
Ray stopped. He could hear the pain in Fraser's voice and he wished... "I'm
sorry, Fraser. I just can't do this," he whispered, watching as the mountie
flinched in front of him. He made his way to the door. His hand rested on
the doorknob. Ray could hear Dief whine behind him. The cop turned around,
dropping the bag on the floor. He quickly rushed over to Fraser's side,
reaching out to him, hugging him one last time.
"Don't leave," Fraser begged of him, still holding Ray in his arms.
"Fraser, why didn't you tell me Vecchio had called," Ray asked him as he
stepped away from the mountie.
"Ray?" Fraser looked at him perplexed.
"That night at Maggie's I asked you who had called and you said no one. Why
didn't you tell me?" He had to know, before he left, had to.
"You thought..."
"You didn't want me after that, I mean, you and Dief kept avoiding me. What
else was I supposed to think, Fraser? And then we get here and you call
Vecchio. Fraser, I thought you were regretting coming over here, starting
this whole expedition... I thought..."
"No," he denied it. "That wasn't it. Ray, I never regretted this
expedition."
"But Vecchio... "
"I should have told you but I didn't want you to get hurt. You were still
recovering from your fall."
"It wasn't your fault. It was a storm. So I fell and got a few bruises. I'm
still here aren't I?"
"Are you?"
"If you'll have me."
Fraser smiled, remembering the words he had once told Ray, outside of
Vecchio's hospital room. He lost his smile when he realized Ray was still
planning on leaving him.
"Fraser, there is something I have to tell you." Ray didn't care why
Vecchio had called. No longer cared if Fraser had been lying to him. He
just knew he had to tell Fraser the truth, that once he walked out that door
there would be no turning back for either of them.
There was a knock at the door. They both looked at each other. It was too
late. Ray opened the door. Vic was standing outside carrying his bags.
"I just called, snowstorm has finally passed, we leave within an hour." Vic
glanced over Ray's shoulder, he took in Fraser's rumpled appearance and the
man's pain filled eyes. He glanced at Ray, reached out and traced his
fingertips along Ray's lips. "I'll wait for you downstairs. Ray, whatever
happens I don't regret this." He gently kissed the cop, turned around and
walked down the hallway.
Ray stood there, his hand tracing over his swollen lips. He closed the door.
"I'm not excusing what I did with Vic, that is between him and me."
"No, it is between us," Fraser interrupted him. Ray quickly glanced up at
Fraser. "I lied to you that night, thinking I was protecting you but now I
see that instead I hurt you. Ray Vecchio had called me." Fraser sighed
deeply and regathered his words, "he had just gotten married... to Stella.
Stella Kowalski." Ray's eyes widened in disbelief. "That was the secret.
Maggie told me I should've told you the truth, that you were strong but I...
I called him again when we reached Yellowknife. I'm sorry Ray."
"Vecchio and Stella?"
"Yes."
"You mean all this time, you were just concerned that I would freak out?"
"Yes," Fraser admitted pitifully.
"Fraser, I love Stella."
"I know Ray." Fraser hands clenched.
"No no, I'm not explaining it right. I love Stella but I'm not in love with
Stella. I mean she will always be the little girl who smiled at me after the
bank robbery, but I am no longer in love with her. I haven't been for a long
time," Ray confessed. Ray moved back to the chair. He sat down. He looked
slightly shocked. "All this time I thought you had a thing for Vecchio, I
mean... look forget it, Fraser. It's not like it will change things."
"Ray?"
"Fraser, I slept with someone. I slept with a guy. You were right, that
affects our relationship. Our partnership."
"No." Fraser tried to deny the truth in Ray's words.
"I'm right, and you know it. Look I'll just get my skinny carcass out of
here." Ray got up but Fraser's hand on his shoulder pushed him back on the
seat.
"What if I told you I did not care? What if I told you it didn't matter to
me." Seeing Ray's raised eyebrow Fraser admitted, "Alright, yes it does
matter, but what if I told you I could get past it, if it meant finishing
the expedition."
"I don't care about the expedition!" Ray shouted at him, getting up from his
chair. "I care about you, you freak!"
Fraser smiled at him, feeling more grounded, more secure that things might
just turn out for the best. "What if I told you..."
"Fraser," Ray said exasperatedly.
"I don't want you to leave. I want this," Fraser told him kissing him on the
lips. "And this," he said as his hands travelled down his partner's back to
cup Ray's buttocks.
"Fraser." Ray looked at him in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought you loved Stella."
"Freak." Another kiss exchanged. "Um... Fraser."
"Hmm."
"I have to tell Vic."
Fraser stiffened slightly. "I'll tell him."
"No really, Fraser... stop that. Hey!" Ray was unceremoniously dumped on
the bed.
"Dief, come here." Ray watched as Fraser wrote a brief message on a piece
of paper. He then folded the paper and tucked it into Dief's collar. "The
gentleman that was here before, give him this message."
Fraser opened the door and Ray watched as Dief loped out intent upon his
mission.
"Fraser, I still think I should have..." Kisses were exchanged and their
clothes discarded. Fraser then pulled Ray to his feet and shoved him
towards the bathroom door. "Shower."
"Fraser... Ow. You bit me!"
"I'm just marking what's mine."
"Oh yeah. Bite me again you freak and I'll... mphm." Fraser licked Ray's
collarbone. "Oh god, do that again."
Gentle laughter could be heard as both participants entered the shower, a
gasp or two, moans exchanged as they both learned and explored each other's
body.
Whatever traces of the others man's scent that still remained on Ray's body
were soon washed away to be replaced by another scent, that of Ray's new
lover, Fraser. When Dief returned later, he curled up at the foot of the
bed, a bed containing two men completely entwined.
Yellowknife Revisited
ay stretched lazily on the bed. He felt the body next to him move.
"Fraser?" The Chicago cop opened his eyes in the still dark room. The
events of the day before came back to him in full force. Shit! Fraser was
probably out looking for him. He moved, only to have the arm around him
tighten its hold. "Vic. I have to get up. Vic," he gently prodded the other
man on the arm.
