Life is Sweet
by Jalabert
ic reached blindly for the knob on the dashboard and
turned up the volume of the song playing on the radio.
He would have liked to lose himself in the music, but
his mind wandered back to a scene that played out at
the Agency two weeks earlier when he'd had a
confrontation with the Director.
Vic had argued with her before. In fact, though he'd never admit it, he rather liked arguing with the Director. Vic considered it one of the few perks of his job. But his last argument with the Director was different. He'd openly challenged her with a reckless disregard for the consequences.
"The RCMP found five bodies at the site you directed them to," the Director said. "Three of them have been identified as the missing patients. The fourth was the orderly who brought the disappearances to our attention in the first place."
"And the fifth?"
"It hasn't been positively identified yet but I'm betting that it was another of the co-conspirators. Perhaps he got greedy. Nice job, Vic; you and Liann solved the puzzle in record time."
"We would have solved it even faster if you hadn't seen fit to distort the facts of the case."
The Director shrugged with practiced insouciance.
"I had my reasons."
"You always do," Vic snorted derisively. "So tell me what possible reason you could have had for sending Liann and me on a fool's errand. And what about Mac?" Vic said, his voice rising. "What the hell did you expect to accomplish by poisoning him?"
"I didn't poison him," the Director said dismissively.
"He was deliberately given a potentially lethal overdose. That's poisoning in my book, and attempted murder, to boot."
"Oh, it was hardly lethal, Vic. My goal was to save Mac, not kill him."
"By putting him into a coma?" Vic cried.
"By bringing him to a point of crisis under carefully monitored and controlled conditions so he would stop waffling and make a deliberate choice to live. Unfortunately, the poor boy had lost a few pounds recently and the nurse was slightly overzealous with the dosage."
"Let me get this straight: you nearly killed Mac so you could save his life?" Vic demanded incredulously. The Director shrugged once again.
"You have your methods, I have mine. We couldn't both have sex with him."
"My method had already worked. Mac had decided to live long before your overzealous nurse got a hold of him."
"Are you sure of that, Vic?" the Director countered, giving him momentary pause. "Besides, I can't have Mac living for you; he belongs to me—you all do."
"So help me, if you play with Mac's head—."
"Playing the jealous lover already, Vic?" the Director drawled. "Save it for someone else. My only interest in your new boyfriend is professional. I've done exactly what I promised. Mac is getting help from the best psychiatrist on the Agency payroll."
"Dr. Fromme works for the Agency? Why am I not surprised by this turn of events?" Vic said sarcastically.
"Dr. Fromme is a paid consultant, yes. And don't look at me like that. She's not only very good at what she does; she's also as stubbornly ethical as you are. But she seems to be doing Mac some good. By the way, he'll be staying on at the Institute for another week or two."
"What? Mac doesn't want—."
"It was his idea, Vic. I merely gave him my blessing."
"Mac wants to stay another week? I don't believe you."
"Believe what you will," the Director said as she sat back in her chair and gazed up at Vic. "I had a nice chat with the doctor earlier today. She said that Mac talked about you quite a bit and seems to feel that your budding romance is a positive development that ought to be encouraged."
Vic was stunned by the Director's revelation. He flopped into a chair and waited for the other shoe to drop. He knew better than to rise to her bait.
"I'm willing to tolerate it, but it had better not be a casual dalliance, Vic. Mac is considerably more fragile than he'd care to admit. And if either of you ever allows your love life to interfere with your work in any way I will not hesitate to arrange for your removal to the far end of the continent. Am I understood?"
The Director ignored Vic's nod, smiling to herself as she considered the possibilities.
"I must say, though, I do rather like the idea of you two as a couple. You're not only two beautiful men, you're also well suited for each other. Far more suited to each other than Liann. Which reminds me..."
Vic opened his mouth to speak, but the Director pressed on.
"Deal with Liann now. I don't want her going all to pieces months from now when she discovers that she's no longer the center of your collective universe. Personally, I think the revelation will do you all good. She's been the Achilles' heel of both you and Mac from the beginning and it's high time she had a reality check."
The Director paused to regard Vic once more and this time he didn't try to interrupt. She was on a roll and he decided to just let her vent.
"You know, I'm surprised I didn't think of pairing you and Mac sooner. I like this dynamic, so long as you don't exchange love notes at meetings and make out while on stakeouts. I'll give you two a week to work off the thrill of novelty when Mac comes back from Armstead. Until then, you can sharpen your skills at the training center. I have another assignment for Liann where you'd be a liability."
This time Vic did move to protest.
"It's an assignment at a convent, Vic. You're good at what you do, but you're also hopelessly male." The Director sighed and rose to her feet. "Now go away, I have things to do. Get some rest and report back tomorrow and see what courses they're running at the Academy. If you can't find anything useful to do you can work in the archives with Nathan."
"I'm sure there's some refresher course I can take," Vic said hastily.
"I'm glad we understand each other, Vic," the Director purred.
"I'll never understand you," Vic replied under his breath. He got to his feet. "Are you sure about Mac?" he asked hesitantly.
"About his staying at Armstead or about your relationship?" Vic shook his head and walked out of the conference room.
Vic checked his watch for the third time in as many minutes. Mac ought to be coming out any minute. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and sighed. For a moment, he allowed himself to worry that Mac wouldn't want to see him right away. He might have arranged for a cab to meet him or called Liann. He certainly hadn't called Vic and that had to mean something. Right?
Vic briefly considered calling Bess and asking her about Mac's mental state. He had spoken to her occasionally since the day after his meeting with the Director and knew she would help him if asked.
Vic had gone to visit Mac at the hospital the morning after that discussion. He found Mac's room unoccupied, however, and stood in the doorway for a moment wondering where Mac might have gone.
"Rob?" Vic turned and saw Bess standing behind him. "It's after twelve and you aren't dressed for duty."
"Oh, well—. Is there somewhere the two of us can speak privately?"
Bess nodded and led Vic to a small consultation room.
"What's wrong?"
"First of all, my name is not Rob. It's Vic; Vic Mansfield. And I am not an orderly. I'm a government agent and I've been working here undercover while investigating the disappearance of three patients from the Institute."
"Yes, I just heard about the arrests when I came on duty. Oh, I knew you were too good to be true," Bess said as she playfully tapped Vic's chest. "I suppose you'll be leaving us now."
"Yes," he said, "I have to get back to my real job."
"Well, you will be missed. You not only treated the patients with great dignity and respect, you really prettied up the place as well."
Vic shyly ducked his head as his cheeks colored. Bess spontaneously threw her arms around him for a brief hug.
"Take good care of yourself, Vic." She turned and started to leave.
"There is one thing more; where's Mac?"
"He's in a session with Dr. Fromme at the moment. He should be back shortly if you want to wait for him," Bess said as she eyed Vic suspiciously.
"Oh. Look, I have to get back to the office, but would you do me a favor and keep an eye on him for me?" Bess's eyebrows rose. "You see, Mac is my partner," Vic began to explain, "and—."
"Oh, you poor thing! It must have been awful for you, trying to conduct an investigation while you were dealing with his depression. And in the same hospital, no less."
Vic frowned in confusion, realized Bess' mistake, and started to correct her. But even as the words formed in his head he conceded that her assessment was accurate, even if she'd misread his use of the word "partner." And as far as Vic was concerned, Mac was destined to be his partner in every sense of the word; there was no point in trying to escape the label.
Bess didn't pry and readily agreed to keep an eye on Mac while he remained at the Institute. Vic spoke with her every few days to stay apprised of Mac's progress. Once, she tactfully asked Vic why he hadn't come to the Institute to see Mac for himself and Vic lied that he was on assignment and unable to get there. The truth was, after Liann told him about her discussion with Mac that night Vic decided to respect Mac's wishes and wait for him to make the first move.
Mac had remained at Armstead for two weeks and Vic had grown increasingly impatient to see him again. The longer Mac was away the more Vic worried that Mac might have a change of heart. The Director unexpectedly paid Vic a visit down in the archives one morning to give him her own update on Mac's progress, but as her report said nothing about Mac's feelings regarding his relationship with Vic, he continued to worry.
The next morning Bess called Vic to tell him that Mac was being discharged the following day. Vic immediately made arrangements for that promised week off and now he sat outside the gates of the Institute waiting for the man whose life had come to mean more to him than his own.
Inside, meanwhile, Mac tossed the last of his things into his duffle bag. He placed the journal he'd begun to keep during his stay on top of his robe and zipped the bag shut.
"Got everything?" the nurse asked as she handed him his discharge papers. Mac nodded silently. "Good. Well, I wish you luck, Mr. Ramsey. Let's hope that you'll never see the inside of this place again."
"Amen," Mac said as he picked up his bag. He left the Institute, pausing only long enough to say goodbye to the staff members who'd been his only company for the past fourteen days.
He stepped outside into the bright sunshine and instinctively reached for his sunglasses. He didn't have them, he discovered after searching his pockets. He shrugged and walked to the gate looking around for the cab he'd ordered. That's when he spotted Vic's bright red truck and smiled.
Inside the cab, Vic felt his heart leap. He took a moment to steady himself before he emerged from the vehicle and walked over to Mac.
"Need a ride?" he asked, trying to sound calm in spite of his racing heart.
"Yeah," Mac said as Vic handed him his shades. "Thanks."
Vic took his duffle and gestured for Mac to precede him. Mac put on the sunglasses and led the way to the Dodge Ram. He paused to turn around before he opened the door.
"Thanks for coming," he said.
"Where else would I want to be?" Vic said in a voice that betrayed his emotion. Mac cracked then and pulled him into a bear hug. They held each other for a few seconds before Mac abruptly pulled away and got into the truck. Vic sighed heavily and walked around to the other side, threw the bag into the back and got in. He caught a brief glimpse of Mac wiping his eyes and quickly resettling the sunglasses to hide his tears. Vic felt a little like crying himself, but he swallowed the urge and put the truck in gear.
"Liann and I went by your place yesterday and restocked your fridge," Vic said.
"Thanks," Mac replied.
"I actually—well, I was thinking that you might like to—. Well, maybe you'd like to get settled in your apartment and rest before you think about anything else."
"I've had enough rest to last me a lifetime, Vic," Mac said, "but yeah, I do need a little time to get reoriented."
"Sure."
"Why? What did you want to do?"
Vic shrugged.
"Come on, Vic, there's no need to walk on eggshells. I won't break."
"You're screwing up your metaphors, Mac," Vic said with a wry smile.
"That's better," Mac replied, enjoying the familiarity of Vic's tease. He squirmed into a comfortable position in his seat and smiled. "So what did you have in mind?"
"Well, I thought we might want to go away for a few days. Have that talk you wanted on neutral ground, you know?"
"Away as in—."
"As in whatever you'd like, Mac. You're calling the shots."
"I don't want to call the shots, Vic. I just want us to talk and I—I want us to spend some time together. I've missed you."
Vic reached out and took hold of Mac's hand. He squeezed it in his own and started to release it, but Mac held on. Vic was content to let his hand remain entrapped in Mac's.
"I missed you, too," he said.
"I thought you might come to visit."
"I wasn't sure if you'd want me to. Liann's message implied that you wanted some time alone."
"I did, but I didn't think you'd stay away for the whole two weeks!"
"And I thought that if you wanted to see me, you'd call."
Vic brought the truck to a halt at a red light and for a moment the two men stared at each other. Vic was the first to look away, gently freeing his hand on the pretense of making a left turn. Mac cleared his throat.
"It doesn't matter anymore."
"I'm sorry."
"I said it didn't matter," Mac repeated.
Vic shrugged uncomfortably.
"So did you have anywhere in mind?"
"Huh?"
"That neutral ground you mentioned."
"I know a little place in Niagara Falls—."
"You've got to be kidding," Mac sneered.
"No! It's God's country, man! Beautiful scenery, quiet—."
"Romantic?"
"Maybe," Vic said seductively. "You interested?"
"In romance?"
Mac averted his eyes and Vic sighed. He hadn't meant to make Mac feel uncomfortable. He tried to figure out a way to retract the suggestion when Mac turned back, looking him squarely in the eye.
"Sounds like a plan," he said with a smile so radiant Vic wanted to stop the car and kiss him. He settled for accelerating slightly. He was at Mac's flat in five minutes.
"I'll call and make reservations," Vic said to Mac, heading for the phone. Mac went straight to the refrigerator and retrieved the beer Liann had left for him. He pulled a second from the six-pack and brought it to Vic.
"You want to leave tomorrow?" he asked as he accepted the bottle.
"Why don't we go now? That way—," Mac abruptly paused. "Yeah, let's go right now."
Vic eyed him for a moment. Then he nodded and asked for a room for that night. Mac left him to make the arrangements and headed for the bedroom. He pulled out a suitcase and began to pack. When Vic got off the phone he followed Mac to the bedroom and stood in the doorway.
"Would you grab that black shaving kit out of the closet behind you?" Mac asked without looking up. Vic retrieved the kit and dropped it on the bed. Mac reached for the duffle and pulled out a vial of pills. He opened and checked the contents of the kit, placing the vial inside it before tossing it into the suitcase.
"Whoa! What's that?" Vic asked.
"They're anti-depressants, Vic. And she gave me sleeping pills, too, but as you can see, I am not taking them. In fact," he said as he reached into the duffle and pulled out the second vial. He carried it to the bathroom, where he emptied its contents into the toilet and ceremoniously flushed them down. He gave Vic a sheepish glance before he returned to the bedroom and resumed packing.
Vic watched him move about self-consciously, not quite sure how to respond. Mac seemed to want Vic to say something; his body language indicated that Mac was uneasy and Vic didn't know what he could say to make him relax.
"I don't suppose there's anything resembling a nightlife?"
"In Niagara Falls, Mac? It's a resort town."
"Not exactly a happening singles' place, though, is it?"
"Would you rather go somewhere else?" Vic asked exasperatedly. "There must be somewhere you can think of where you can find lots of action every night."
Mac paused and bit his lip.
"I'm sorry, Vic. I didn't mean that to—. I'm sorry." He closed the bag and sat down beside it on the bed. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say."
Vic picked up the bag and put it on the floor.
"Look, if you'd rather not do this...there's no rush."
"I want to do this," Mac said firmly. Vic nodded and rose to his feet.
"Let's go, then," he said, picking up the bag. The pair left the apartment and walked down to elevators.
"I want to take my car."
"What's wrong with my truck?"
"You drive your truck. I'd like to drive my car. I haven't driven in weeks."
"All the more reason to let me drive, Mac."
"I can still drive, Vic."
"Well, if you drive as well as you did before you were hospitalized—." Vic paused and bit his tongue. "All right, we'll take your car."
Mac smiled radiantly and headed for the parking lot.
"I'll meet you at your place," he said.
Nearly two hours later, Mac and Vic entered the room they'd be sharing for the next several days. Mac had been rather quiet on the drive down and Vic wasn't sure how to put him at ease. The only thing he could think of to distract Mac with was food.
"Why don't we go out and find something to eat?" he said as he sat on the edge of the bed and watched Mac, clotheshorse that he was, carefully unpack and hang up his clothes.
"Oh...could we do that in a bit? I was kind of thinking about just chilling for a while," Mac replied.
"We could do that." Vic slid back on the bed and stretched out. Mac carefully closed his suitcase and put it in the closet.
"Aren't you going to unpack?" he asked. In response Vic simply patted the mattress. Mac slowly removed his jacket, hung it up with the same care he'd devoted to all his other clothing and then turned back to Vic. He sighed audibly before approaching the bed.
"I won't bite," Vic said.
Mac nodded and crawled onto the bed. He stretched out beside Vic, facing him, unsure of what to do with his hands. He tucked one under his head and let the other one fall to the mattress between his body and Vic's. After a few seconds, he lifted the hand and placed it on Vic's chest, shyly returning Vic' encouraging smile. Vic took Mac's hand in his and brought it to his lips to kiss.
"You sap!" Mac chuckled.
"You asked for romance."
"I did not!" Mac declared. Vic dropped the hand and reached for Mac's cheek. Cupping it, he leaned toward him and captured his mouth in a slow but somewhat tentative kiss.
"I've been wanting to do that for weeks," he said as he stared into Mac's deep brown eyes.
"You can do it again, if you want." Vic smiled and repeated the action, this time a lot more confidently. Mac placed his hand on Vic's chest again and though he didn't push, Vic took it as a sign that he'd had enough—for the moment at least. "Thanks for this," Mac said. He lowered his gaze. "I've been looking forward to this—to being together again, I mean."
"Me, too," Vic said as he let his fingers trace the curve of Mac's jaw and dance their way to the nape of his neck. "How are you, Mac?"
"I'm—I'm fine." He looked up again and Vic could see the truth of his words in his eyes.
"Then things went well at the Institute," he replied, hoping that Mac would be open and trusting enough to tell him what he wanted to know.
"Yeah, it went well. I learned a lot about myself, Vic," he said as he captured Vic's teasing fingers in his.
"What did you learn?"
"A lot of things, including the fact that I have never truly allowed myself to be happy."
Vic frowned.
"Why not?"
"We all do it in some way or another. We keep reaching for the unattainable, postponing joy by setting up impossible conditions for what constitutes success, love, happiness, you name it. Sometimes we even settle for less than what we can actually attain so we have a ready excuse for not being content with what we have."
"Yeah, I can relate to that. I can remember a time when I thought that I would only be happy once I became a cop. When I became a cop, I couldn't be happy till I got a gold badge, and when I got that I wanted to move to the narcotics squad—."
"Yeah," Mac said. He continued to examine Vic's fingers as he talked. "I've been doing the same thing since I was a kid. It started with my dad, probably; he always promised that we'd settle down and get out of the game after his next big deal. Then Mr. Tang promised that we'd be successful businessmen when he got out of the illegal rackets he was knee deep in. Liann convinced me that happiness lay outside the family. Then the Director came along and held out her version of the carrot.
"I finally gave up trying to be happy. All my life I've been struggling to capture that one elusive thing that would signify happiness: finding a permanent home with first my dad and then with the Tangs; being with Liann...only there was always someone else out there pulling the strings. And they never lived up to their end of the bargain. After a while, I didn't have the will to try anymore. Being happy was just too damned hard. It was a lie I couldn't live anymore and once I gave up on the notion that life was something I was supposed to be living rather than something I could only to look forward to—the idea of death seemed pretty appealing."
Vic pulled his hand out of Mac's and lifted his chin.
"You and I can be happy now, Mac. No conditions, no deals, no carrots."
"I know," Mac said sadly. "I just don't know how to be happy."
Vic lightly touched Mac's cheek as he sought the right words to say.
"We can find out together, Mac. But first you have to talk to me, Mac. Tell me what I need to know." His hand began to roam again, caressing Mac's shoulder, sliding over his shoulder, running through Mac's hair.
"What do you need to know?"
"I haven't the foggiest, Mac. I guess I need to know that you want this, that you trust me, trust us enough to give us a chance."
"What's 'us,' exactly?" Mac said softly as he rested his head on Vic's shoulder.
"It's whatever you want it to be," Vic replied.
Mac shook his head and sat up.
"No, Vic. Don't patronize me."
"I'm not patronizing you!" Vic sat up as well, confused by Mac's response. "I'm just saying that you have to define what you want this to be."
"What do you want this to be?" Mac countered.
"Okay," Vic said, rising to the challenge. "I've had two whole weeks to think about this: I want a serous, committed and exclusive relationship with you." Mac swallowed audibly. "Not that I am expecting that to happen overnight; but you asked what I wanted..."
"Yeah, I guess I did."
"What do you want, Mac?"
"I want you, Vic. That is, while I was at the Institute I decided that I wanted to be with you. I just—well, I hadn't really figured out exactly what our relationship should be."
"But you did think about it."
"Yeah, well, after that night we spent together I knew—." Mac shyly averted his eyes. "I knew that I needed you. I mean I wanted you sexually, but there was more to it than that. I needed you to be there for me and I needed you to give me a reason to wake up in the morning. Intentionally or not, you became my lifeline that night, Vic. You've been the key to my survival ever since."
"Don't let the Director hear you say that," Vic laughed. "She wants you to live for her and her alone."
Mac's eyes grew wide.
"Oh, lord, Vic! She knows about us, doesn't she?" The only thing Mac dreaded more than seeing Vic again once he left the Institute was facing the Director.
"Yes, she does, and she's cool with it, as long we behave ourselves. But that's the point, Mac. We can't wait for her to approve of us, for the stars to be in the proper alignment, or for anything or anyone else. We can be happy now."
"Vic, I don't exactly have a frame of reference for relationships with guys."
Vic scooted over to Mac so that they were sitting side by side on the edge of the bed.
"What do you mean?"
"I've never been in a relationship with a guy."
"You told me that you had some experience with men," Vic said carefully.
"Experience, yes—relationships, no."
"What's the difference? You've been in relationships with women. A relationship is a relationship!"
"A relationship with you is different, Vic. This is important. It's probably the most important thing in my life at the moment. I can't afford to blow this."
"Hey, calm down, Mac," Vic said gently. "We can do this."
"I want to be happy with you but, more importantly, I want you to be happy with me."
Vic shook his head.
"Don't make my happiness a precondition to your own, Mac."
"You sound like the shrink," Mac chuckled.
"Did she say that?" Vic asked as he sidled a bit closer to Mac so he could wrap an arm around him. He gently eased Mac back down on the bed and they scrambled around till they were lying down again, this time entwined in each other's arms.
"Yeah, in fact, I think those were her exact words."
"Smart lady."
"Yeah, and she had incredible legs," Mac teased.
"Incredible legs, eh?" Vic rolled Mac over and pinned him to the mattress. "I'll show you incredible legs!"
"Now who's jealous?" Mac laughed. A moment later he gasped as Vic launched an attack on every spot where he knew Mac to be ticklish. "No! No, Vic, please! No tickling!"
"You know, Mac, I spent the better part of the last three weeks worried sick about you. I laid there alone in my bed every night and thought about those few hours we had together and wondered if and when we'd be together again," Vic said as he continued his onslaught. "And all that time you were at the Institute beating off to thoughts of your doctor's legs?"
"Hey!" Mac panted. "Can I help it if she continued to wear those little Ally McBeal suits even after I told her I'd fallen in love with a man?"
Vic froze, allowing Mac to finally draw breath.
"What?" he asked after a second. He frowned at Vic, who was gaping at him.
"Nothing," Vic said softly as he lowered his face to Mac's and kissed him.
It was some time later that Mac realized what he'd said. By then Vic had relieved him of his shirt, socks and pants, and was well on his way to removing the last impediment between him and Mac's naked body.
"Damn! Did I say that out loud?" Mac groaned as he abruptly sat up. Vic rubbed his nose where Mac's elbow had hit it.
"It's too late to take it back now," he purred.
"It's not that I want to take it back, Vic. I just—you're going to be insufferably smug now, aren't you?"
Vic raised his eyebrows.
"Look, Vic, I only said that to keep the shrink at bay, you know. She wanted me."
Vic smiled hungrily.
"You remember how we told those four sisters we were gay that time to keep them from attacking us like—you know you kind of resemble the oldest one when you look at me like that."
Vic bared his teeth.
"Of course, she had an overbite—ow!"
"You know, this just might work out," Mac said as he stared out at the water cascading over the Horseshoe Falls.
"Are you sure?" Vic said sarcastically. "It's only been three days. No point in jumping to conclusions prematurely."
Mac turned and looked at Vic over the rim of his sunglasses. Vic had his back to the water and was watching the crowd milling about the Table Rock observation platform.
"You know I think the bloom is already off the rose in this relationship."
"How can you say that?" Vic said with a slight smile. "The sight of you in a yellow PVC slicker is turning me on even as we speak."
"You aren't even looking at me," Mac said as he hit Vic in the ribs with his elbow.
"I know, but that woman has incredible legs." Mac turned and peered over his glasses.
"Whoa, you're right. She does."
Vic began to laugh and Mac joined him. They turned back to the view and watched for a while, in awed silence at its breathtaking majesty. Finally, Vic took hold of Mac's elbow and they made their way out of the park.
"So you want romance," Vic said as he led the way to Mac's car. "Let's see; we could move to one of those tacky resort hotels stateside with the heart-shaped tubs for the night."
"At this time of the season? The place would be overrun with goo-goo eyed lovebirds on honeymoons. That wouldn't be romantic, Vic. That would be nauseating."
"So you want romance for us, but you don't want anyone else to have any?"
"Not if I have to watch, no."
"We could just get a couple of bottles of champagne and go back to our room, then."
"Romantic dinner? It's our last night before we head back to town."
"Let's go all out, then. Room service: I'm thinking thick steak, baked potato—."
"Oysters?"
Vic eyed Mac suspiciously. Mac waggled his brows before he slid into the driver's seat.
"Both my memory and my sore ass can attest to the fact that you don't need any oysters."
"Hey, some people eat oysters for the taste, you know."
"I don't care. You aren't having any."
"Lobster?"
"Lobster's okay."
"Something chocolate and gooey for dessert?" Mac pleaded with a boyish and cajoling smile.
"Well, I actually had something else in mind for dessert, but I wouldn't object to something chocolate as a prelim—."
Vic paused and pulled off his sunglasses. Mac briefly glanced over at him and brought the car to a halt on the side of the road.
"What?" he demanded.
"You're happy, Mac," Vic said. "You've been grinning ear to ear all day."
"I know. Life is sweet."
Vic reached out and caressed his cheek.
"Yes it is," he whispered before he succumbed to the urge to kiss Mac's smile away. He never did succeed. Not by the side of the road, not in their hotel room that night, not even at the rest stop twenty miles outside Toronto—where they did anything but rest—Vic couldn't nudge the smile from Mac's face. He couldn't swear to it, since the younger man inevitably wore him out before his own energy flagged, but he was convinced that Mac even smiled in his sleep.
Mac finally sobered when they reached town and he announced a desire to see Liann. Vic had told him exactly what the Director had said and he agreed that it was best that Liann know the truth at once. Vic flatly refused Mac's plan to see her alone, so the two men went to her apartment together.
"Mac! Vic!" Liann said as she hugged first one man then the other. "The Director told me you went away together. I wouldn't have believed it if the two of you hadn't called me. Sit down."
The two men exchanged a glance before they did as they were bidden. Liann fetched them each a beer—a Tsing Tao for Mac and a Labatt for Vic.
"So, how are you feeling, Mac?" she asked.
"I'm good, Liann. In fact, I'm better than good," Mac began. He glanced at Vic for courage. "That's why we're here."
"What do mean? Are you ready to come back to work?"
"Yes, there's that, but I wanted to discuss something of a more personal nature with you."
"We both do," Vic added.
Liann looked from Mac to Vic in confusion. Mac took a deep breath and plunged in. He told her about his flirtation with suicide and his subsequent treatment at the Armstead Institute.
"Why didn't call me? You know you can always turn to me for help," Liann said tearfully. Mac shook his head.
"I needed something else, Liann, something more. I found it...in Vic."
Liann looked up sharply.
"Vic? As in—." She shook her head as if the answer were there but could not settle into its proper groove.
"As in a relationship, Liann," Vic said. "Mac and I have become lovers."
Again, Liann looked from one man to the other. They did not appear to be lovers, on the surface of it. They were sitting opposite each other, Mac on the loveseat next to Liann, Vic on the other side. Liann tried to laugh it off as a joke, but then she saw Vic's eyes as he looked at Mac. Mac returned the gaze and she knew the truth.
"Oh my—." Liann covered her mouth. For a moment she didn't speak, shaking her head every now and again as she watched Vic and Mac silently communicating with their eyes. "So that's what you two have been up to this week? You took Mac off somewhere and seduced him? Or was it the other way around? You got an itch that Vic was only too happy to scratch? It won't work, you know. Vic may like men, but he's too into women to give them up," Liann said as she gave him a venomous look.
"We just wanted you to know," Vic said as he rose to his feet and headed for the door. Mac pulled away the hand she'd been holding and got to his feet.
"I was hoping you'd be happy for me. Happy for us, Liann. Neither of us has been terribly happy for some time. Now—."
"Now you've found each other," she spat bitterly.
"Yeah," Mac said, biting back the words of anger and hurt that sprang to his lips. "We'll see you at the Agency."
"The Director is going to freak," Liann said with a wry smile just before Vic's hand reached the door.
"Actually, she took the news quite well," he said. He opened the door and allowed Mac to step through before he followed him out into the hall.
Mac pouted as they waited for the elevator and was silent as they strode out into the afternoon sun. Mac pulled out his shades and put them on. His smile instantly reappeared and Vic looked at him quizzically.
"So Liann's reaction didn't faze you at all?"
"Actually, it went slightly better than I hoped," Mac admitted, "but that's not why I'm smiling."
"Enlighten me," Vic said as he led the way to the car. They reached it and Mac pulled out his keys. He turned and looked back at Liann's building, certain that he was being observed. Mac pulled Vic into his arms and kissed him passionately.
"I already told you—life is sweet," Mac said, turning the smile up a notch. "Let's go."
