Please note: these are fanfics, creative tributes, and outright parodies, done with taste, circumspection, and rampant gay sex. All stories should be considered NC-17. If this isn't exactly your cuppa, piss off now.
We forgot to update with our Bond story! Yes, Claire and Temaris wrote a prequel to Bitter Kiss, called Darkness in the Depth. It went in our conzine last year, and timed out a while back, but hey, we were busy!
And while we're on the subject, a conzine, I hear you say? Yup. Not content with collaborating on some of the deadliest fic to eat bandwidth, we decided to run a slash con! It's called Connotations and the next one, our third, is runnning in Tynemouth 30 September to 2 October 2005!
| title | the stories: standalones | fandom |
|---|---|---|
| I Can't Flocking Believe We're Doing This | Where we cross Combat sheep, New Professionals and Stargate. In a Tibetan Outreach Monastery. Chris/Sam, Harris/Moose implied, Chris/Moose, Jack/Daniel. Our very first joint fic<sniff> I still blame the Christmas cake. Warnings: beastiality. Done tastefully, naturally. First posted over New Year 2002 | Stargate, New Professionals, Combat Sheep |
| The Gweatest Wuv of All | Omigod!!! We wrote, like, a *whooole* new story, and it's kind of sad, but it's all about Sam and Jonas, so you know, it's all of the good :-). Anyway, you just gotta read this, right?!!! | Stargate |
Bitter Kiss |
No time for sweetness, but a bitter kiss will bring him to his knees. | Bond, X-Files |
Darkness in the Depths |
Nothing to do but fight, nothing to give but pain, nothing to lose but rage... | Bond. 006/007 |
| The Zen and ... series | ||
| Zen and the Art of Chopstick Mutilation | Alex Krycek attends the Twenty-Third Annual Bad Guy Convention(TM). Alex/Daniel Jackson. Mulder/Krycek implied. Jack/Daniel. Warnings: none. You get to read without the aid of a parachute. Just put the drink down first. Nominated for Best Crossover and Best Quirky Story in the SG1 Awards | Highlander, McGyver, Stargate, X-Files... just you know, play spot the fandom :-) |
| Zen and the Art of Defensive Origami | No pairings. Lots of implications. No warnings. Unless you count dead guppies. And the singing, dancing ninjas. | X-Files, Stargate, McGyver |
| Zen and the Art of Chocolate Klismaphilia | The prequel to Zen and the Art of Chopstick Mutilation, in which Mulder explains the thing about the chocolate fondue set and the Koi carp, and much sex with Krycek is had. And the companion piece, the moving tale of The Littlest Cherry Stone. |
Highlander, MUncle, X-Files, other |
| Voodoo and the Art of Hero Maintenance | Another companion piece to the two Zen stories, this one takes place at the same time as the 23rd Annual Good Guys and Bad Guys Conventions. Assistologists are an over-worked, underappreciated breed, so, once a year, the Institute of Assistologists (Formerly the Guild of Sidekicks, Bimbos and beautiful Companions), takes a weekend off. Away from the pain, mayhem and unending excitement that is their day-to-day lives, to enjoy a peaceful get together with their colleagues and fellow adventurers in the journey that is the sidekick's. This then, is *their* story. |
Andromeda, Angel, DangerMouse, Diagnosis Murder, Sentinel, Stargate, X-Files, Xena ... plus many, many more ... |
| The Phone Sex Chronicles | ||
| Priapic Themes and Velvet Screams | Wherein Fox is bored, Alex is creative, and Jim hears more than is good for him. | X-Files, and a smidge of Sentinel |
| Wormhole Extremes and Ruptured Seams | When you're in one place, and he's in another, and every word should be guarded. | Stargate SG-1 |
| Music vids (well, vid). | Seduces Me NB. 28 MB! | Story boarded and scripted by Tem. Cut and edited by Lillith, fine tuned by T, L and C. Much love and affection for Sentinel, and Blair, who slowly drifts into the dark side, and Jim, who drifts into love. | Sentinel |
You know? It may help to repeat this mantra: Accept the weirdness. Deal with the weirdness. We are one with the fucking weirdness, okay?!
Claire, Temaris
aka TLC
Feed Us!. We are feedback junkies and want it all, the good, the bad, the indifferent. Make us laugh, make us cry, but for gods' sake, say *something*! Individually we are: moonlettuce@blueyonder.co.uk and temaris@blueyonder.co.uk.
Our websites are here: Claire, Tem.
If you have any problems with this site, e-mail Tem, who's in charge of updating it.
Disclaimer: We don't own any of the fandoms listed herein. We're not even going to attempt to list the fandoms we managed to drag into these poor, unsuspecting fics. We can only apologise to the Producers, writers, casts, crews and general public, and assure them that if anyone is making any money out of this, it sure isn't one of us two...
TLC.