It Started Started With a Potions Master
10 - Interlude - Wufei’s Vengeance
Wufei quietly strolled through the hallways, his shoes making very little sound on the stone floors. He could have moved silently if he wished; but it was not yet curfew and that level of stealth while the castle was still awake and cheerfully lit would draw attention. After all, why would a student need to sneak about before curfew?
So Wufei walked along the lower levels in the direction of Ravenclaw’s Retreat. He nodded in greeting to a few housemates and allowed the group of third years studying by the pilot ferns to see him walk deeper into the conservatory. Moments later he slipped out a little used side door. Wufei raced up the stairs, feet barely touching the treads as he made his way to the hospital wing.
He waited in the alcove by the doors listening to the nurse bustle around inside. His earring was charmed to allow him to eavesdrop. Efficient, and it left no trace of a cast spell. Six minutes ticked by and Wufei had to resist the urge to curse the onna as she found yet more things to fuss with.
Finally the door clicked and Wufei quickly entered the infirmary. He stepped immediately to the left, deeper into the shadows. Spotting his target midway up the row of beds Wufei dropped and rolled underneath the nearest one. He belly crawled counting the beds as he past under, he was humming “Swinging On a Star” under his breath. The had heard it in a movie over break. Duo was learning to play it on guitar and it was constantly stuck in his head.
The song reminded him of the movie which gave Wufei a sudden mental image of himself back-flipping across the room or running up the wall to make his way across the rafters or some other visually stunning but ridiculously complicated manner. Not that Wufei couldn’t have done it but Murphy’s Law ruled even here and everyone knows that the more complicated a maneuver or device the easier it is to fuck up. Twelve beds later, the Chinese boy knelt up next to the sleeping form of his greatest annoyance.
Relena Darlian.
The most obtuse onna he’d ever had the misfortune to meet. She was more offensive then the Parkinson girl and more obsessive then the Creevey boys combined. But her biggest sin was her failure to accept the fact that Heero was taken, twice over, and even if he wasn’t she was the wrong gender anyway. Months of her harpy voiced screeching and attempts to cling to Heero, or sometimes Duo - with the absurd idea that Heero would be jealous and snag her away - had come to an end. Wufei was going to dose the psychotic onna with Casso Salax killing her libido forever.
Such a poetic solution.
Wufei carefully uncapped the potion bottle, with a steady hand he poured half the container into Relena’s open mouth. Wufei rubbed her throat to encourage the sleeping girl to swallow. Good thing he wasn’t stuck in some spy movie because this would undoubtedly be the moment he was caught and his plot thwarted. Wufei gave her a sip of pumpkin juice in the same manner and then tipped two drops from the vial of ‘Altoid’s Instant Freshener - For Curiously Strong Halitosis’ (“barrowed” from a Hufflepuff ) under Relena’s tongue - cleaning away any physical trace of the potion.
The Ravenclaw boy slipped out as quietly as he had come and was walking back out of the Retreat, herb cuttings in hand, a scant twenty-five minutes after his arrival. “Swing on a star, carry moonbeams home in a jar...” Wufei sang quietly to himself as he passed the group of third years, firmly establishing his alibi.
The only thing that could possibly link him to any problems Relena might suffer is the Potions Master’s keen memory. Sadly for Snape, Quatre is much more adept at manipulating the mind then he. The potion Wufei had shown the dower man would become Calo Saline. A minor, if difficult to brew, dialect potion.
He cut right, going around the entrance to the Ravenclaw Tower. Wufei changed his gait as he headed toward Slytherin territory, his footsteps making no sound as he flinted from shadow to shadow. He let a smirk curl the corners of his lips when he spotted the door to his mates’ lair. Wufei was sure his lovers would appreciate the early anniversary present.
And they were sure to show their appreciation in a suitably exhausting and messy manner.
Swinging on a Star was sung in the movie Hudson Hawk by Bruce Willis’ character to time a heist. Calo is an argot or slang of Mexican Spanish. Not Spanglish - sort of like Cockney rhyming slang. My idea is that the potion would force you to speak in Calo. So: if you went to say “No way” it would come out as “Nel, Pastel” (No, Cake). And the drinker wouldn’t notice the change in their speech. Devious, no? The Altoids thing? That stemmed from the thought that the ‘Curiously Strong’ part is because Altoid is a Wizarding company. And plebian mints wouldn’t be a big seller for wizards so they’d have to have something a step-up. I know, I know that this chapter does very little to forward the plot but I couldn’t resist. I’ll admit it: I loath Relena. (which if you read ‘Operation: Send Pink to the Clink’ shouldn’t come as a surprise) Anyway I hope you enjoyed this small exhibition of Vengeful!Wufei. ^_^
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