Note: Think of this as a home video.

Many of the scenes in this "video" are adapted from the televised episodes, as transcribed by Becky in her Episodes Transcripts Page.

Related Episodes: Vow of Silence, Warriors, Night Shift.

~Fade-in to the break room in Police Station. A table in the center, with sandwiches and drinks laid out on top. Jim and Blair facing each other across the table. No sound. They are obviously arguing. As the scene unfolds, they get more and more agitated. Or rather, Blair gets agitated, while Jim slaps on his detached, unemotional blank face. Blair finally throws down his arms in exasperation, turns, and walks angrily out of the room. Camera follows him as he storms across the bullpen to Jim's desk. He snatches up a stack of bound paper -- the introductory chapter to his thesis -- and storms angrily back to the break room. He shoves the paper into a shredder in a corner of the break room, and tries to turn the switch on, but his hands are shaking so hard he misses. Jim snatches the paper away from the shredder. More yelling. Blair storms out, slamming the door hard behind him. Jim stands there, clutching the paper tightly in his hand. Camera angle shifts to reveal Gabe looking at Jim in the background.~

~Cut to Blair stumbling blindly down the hallway, bumping into the homeless people crowding the hallway as he goes. He finally finds a somewhat secluded spot and collapses against the wall, sliding down to the floor in a tight ball.~

~Flashback. A bit earlier. Jim and Blair down in the police garage, standing next to a car. Jim has plastic gloves on his hands, and he obviously has just been searching the car for evidence.

Blair: You read my dissertation. Jim, I don't believe you! I asked you not to do that!~

~Flashback. Much earlier that day. Jim and Blair in Jim's truck. The cab light is on. Blair has his paper spread out on his knees, reading and marking it, chuckling to himself.

Jim: Chief, uh... I got a bit of an alternator problem here. If you use the light, the battery's going to drain. Uh... Come on. Can we put a pin in it?

Blair: No, no, come on, Jim, I'm on a heavy deadline here. If I don't get this introductory chapter into my dissertation committee by tomorrow, I could lose all my grants.

Jim: That's your dissertation?

Blair: Yeah.

Jim: I thought we'd agreed I'd read your magnum opus before you sent it in for publication.

Blair: Jim, this is just for peer review. It's not for publication, and it's only an introductory chapter.

Jim: So I can read the introduction, huh?

Blair: Jim, look, you're the subject of an ongoing study. If you were to read this before we finished, it would invalidate all our research. Now stop worrying. There's nothing to be afraid of. Actually, some of it's kind of funny. (chuckles and circles something on the page) Especially that. I'd love to tell you what it is, but I can't. (chuckles)~

~Close-up of Blair's face as he lies tightly curled up in the hallway, eyes closed tight in pain.~

~Flashback. Police garage again.

Jim: You don't believe me? Well, what about you? You, you just had to put everything in there didn't you? I'm surprised you didn't write down the number of times we have sex in a week.

Blair: Why would I do that?

Jim: Because you tabulate and analyze everything. You... you get into my life, into my head, into my heart, and then you just drag everything out and lay it out like, some specimen or something. What does my personal life has to do with your project? God, Chief, it's our life!

Blair: Because your being a... (notices other officers nearby) Look, Jim, we can't talk about this here, all right? God, I knew it will upset you. Why'd you think I told you not to read it?

Jim: So it's all right to talk about me behind my back as long as I don't find out?

Blair: No, Jim. Jim, come on, give me a chance, here. Let me explain, please?

Jim: Get away from me. (shoves Blair away and walks off)~

~Shot of Blair, in much the same position as before. A single tear slowly falls out of his eye and rolls down his cheek.~

~Flashback. Shot of Jim and Blair, making love in the jungles of Peru.~

~Flashback. Cascade Beach. Jim picks up Blair, swings him around, and kisses him.

Blair: Jim?

Jim: (mouthes) I love you.~

~Flashback. Jim and Blair scrambling to shore in the river from SURVIVAL. They pull themselves up onto the rocks, fall into each other's arms, and kiss.~

~Close-up of gold ring on Blair's left hand. Camera pulls back to reveal Blair staring intently at it.~

~Flashback. Loft. Day. Blair sitting on couch, his wounded leg propped up on the cushions, a crutch leaning on the armrest next to him. No sound. Jim, laughing, tosses something at Blair from across the room. Blair grabs it, finds it is a small jewelry case. He opens it to find two gold wedding bands. His eyes widen in surprise. Slowly, he lifts his eyes to meet Jim's, and they gaze solemnly at each other.~

~Flashback. Later that day. Jim and Blair in bed upstairs, making love. Camera focuses on their intertwined left hands with the wedding bands on them.~

~Shot of Blair, leaning back against the wall, eyes staring vacantly at empty spot in the air.~

~Flashback. Monastery from VOW OF SILENCE. Blair and Brother Marcus walking through the monastery grounds.

Marcus: Not many men are willing to choose this life. The temptations of the world are too great.

(Jim appears off to the side, but unnoticed by Blair and Marcus.)

Marcus: When I entered this monastery, I found what I was looking for. It's not for everyone... but it works for me. And you, my young man, you seem to have found what you were looking for.

Blair: (laughing nervously) How'd you know?

Marcus: I have eyes, Blair. (taps Blair gently on the cheek) In life, each one of us has a path we are meant to walk. A path that is yours and nobody else's. Don't let anything distract you from the path, my boy. Only you know what is the right path for you. Now, I'll see you at breakfast. Don't be late. Nothing but crumbs. (leaves)

Blair: Uh... right. (belatedly) ...Bye.

Jim: (passes by Marcus as he walks toward Blair) Brother Marcus.

Marcus: Detective.~

~Flashback. Still monastery. Police vehicles scattered along the front of monastery. Jim and Blair are stowing their gear in the back of one of the police cars. Brothers Jeremy and Marcus are watching.

Jim: (to Jeremy) Well, it's been an interesting time, Brother Jeremy.

Jeremy: Please, come visit us again anytime.

Marcus: Hopefully, next time there won't be any Mafia spies looking for me.

Jim: You can say that again.

(Jim shakes hands, first with Jeremy, then Marcus.)

Marcus: (holding on to Jim's hand) Take good care of this young man here. (nods toward Blair)

Jim: I will, Brother, I will.

Marcus: (hugs Blair, and whispers into his ears) Remember, don't let go of your true path.

(Blair pulls away and looks into Marcus' eyes with a slightly puzzled expression.)

Marcus: Go on, my boy. God be with you.

(Marcus pushes Blair gently toward Jim. Jim places hand on Blair's shoulder and steers him toward the car. He and Marcus exchange a long, meaningful glance, which Blair doesn't notice. Jim and Blair get into the car, and the car drives away from the monastery as Jeremy and Marcus look on.)~

~Shot of Blair, still leaning back against the wall. He buries his face in his hands, and pushes away the hair from his face as he lets out a deep sigh. Gabe is crouched down in the hallway next to Blair, muttering something in Aramaic. Blair absently turns his head towards Gabe. Suddenly, Gabe shoots out a hand and grabs Blair's arm.~

~Momentary flash of Incacha's bloody hand grabbing Blair's arm in almost exactly the same position.~

Gabe: "Before I formed thee in thy mother's belly I knew thee,
and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee,
and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."
Do you know who you are? What is your true calling?

(Blair and Gabe stare intently into each other's eyes.)

~Camera slowly closes up onto Blair's eye until the entire screen is filled up with Blair's pupil. Resolve to loft. Incacha is standing in the living area, relaxed, smiling gently at Blair and Jim. Jim extends a hand to Blair. Blair takes the hand. Jim turns to face Incacha and speaks formally in Quechua. Incacha looks sharply at Jim, then turns back to Blair and speaks formally and deferentially.

Blair: (to Jim) What's that about?

Jim: I formally introduced you as my spouse, my lifemate. Incacha welcomed you into his family.

Blair: He considers you his family? (Jim nods) Tell him I'm honored, and to please make himself at home in our house.

(Jim speaks to Incacha. Incacha walks further into loft and begins exploring. He accidentally turns on stereo system. Blair's didgeridoo music starts to play.)

Incacha: (speaking Quechua)

(Jim laughs.)

Blair: What did he say?

Jim: "Earth music."

Blair: Yeah.

Incacha: (turns to Blair and starts speaking)

Blair: Wait, what? What? No, wait, I'm sorry, I don't understand! Jim?

Jim: (laughing) He says you are beautiful, no wonder I couldn't keep my hands off you. (sobers as Incacha continues speaking) He says that when a Sentinel unites with his Guide, the bond goes beyond that of ordinary spouses. We have a responsibility... (interrupts Incacha and says something in Quechua.)

Incacha: (speaking Quechua)

Jim: I told him I no longer have my powers. He says a Sentinel will always be a Sentinel -- if he chooses to be.

Incacha: (continues speaking)

Jim: He says by denying my powers, I deny your place in my life. (speaks in Quechua)

Incacha: (speaks, gesturing emphatically)

Jim: I told him being Sentinel and Guide isn't all we are. He says it's our destiny. If I deny it, I deny myself.

Blair: Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you!

Incacha: (gestures at Blair, and speaks forcefully)

Jim: He says that I must listen to you, as my Guide and my mate, honor you always, because you always have my best interests in your heart.

Blair: Thank you, thank you. I can use the support.

(Incacha pats Blair on the back affectionately.)

Jim: (rolls his eyes) Great. I have the two of you ganging up on me.

Incacha: (says something to Blair)

Jim: He says I'm a stubborn son of a bitch.

(Blair and Incacha laugh.)~

~Scene blurs, and fades into -- Loft. Much later that night.

Blair: (pacing nervously) Where's Incacha?

Jim: He'll show up.

Blair: You know, I'm really wishing you had your senses back.

Jim: It's over. The Sentinel thing is dead.

Blair: Dead.

(Pause.)

Jim: All right. What's bugging you?

Blair: What's bugging me?

Jim: Yeah.

Blair: Do you think Simon Banks is going to let this partnership continue if there's no legitimate reason for me to be there?

Jim: I don't know. I think the captain's developed a kind of an abiding tolerance for you.

Blair: What about us, Jim? What's gonna happen to us? You sure as hell don't need me if you don't have Sentinel abilities.

Jim: Is that what you think we are about? Me needing you? That I did this to keep you with me?

Blair: The first time you made love to me was when I was thinking about going on that expedition...

Jim: So you stayed because of the sex?

Blair: No! I stayed because...

Jim: Or is it that maybe you're worried you're not going to complete your dissertation?

Blair: Come on, Jim. I got enough information for ten dissertations. I could have finished months ago.

Jim: So, you've been stalling?

Blair: Yeah. You know, I mean, what do you expect? For me to just jump back into my academic life? Come on -- that would be like jumping off a roller coaster and spending the rest of my life on a merry-go-round.

Jim: A merry-go-round will be safer.

Blair: Don't you dare go there. I did not, did not, stay all this time with you because it was safe. I did not stay because I wanted to write a dissertation. I stayed because I love you.

Jim: But will you love me if I'm not a Sentinel?

Blair: You said yourself that being Sentinel and Guide is not all we are. Will you reject me because since you are no longer a Sentinel, you no longer need a Guide?

Jim: No.

Blair: There you go. (pause) Look, if I were convinced that not being a Sentinel was the best thing for you, then I'll support you. But, that's not what I'm feeling, here.

Jim: What you're feeling? I'm supposed to go with that?

Blair: Even Incacha said...

Jim: I remember what he said.

Blair: You owe it to me to honor my heart, Jim.

Jim: I honor it.

Blair: Then answer me. What do you fear?

Jim: I...

Blair: What do you fear?

Jim: I fear... being a Sentinel.

Blair: Why?

Jim: The, the responsibility.

Blair: You have responsibilities, whether or not you are a Sentinel.

Jim: Yeah, but, there's... more.

Blair: Jim, you are a cop. You shot the security guard using your Sentinel sight, but the reason you had a gun in the first place is because you are a cop, not because you are a Sentinel. Any cop can shoot an innocent person by mistake. Being or not being a Sentinel has nothing to do with it.

Jim: ....

Blair: We all have responsibilities, Jim. We all have to be accountable for our actions, learn from our mistakes. Yes, you made a mistake. Are you going to learn from it, or run from your responsibilities?

(Something bangs on the door.)

Blair: Hello? (goes over and opens door to see Incacha on floor, bleeding)

Incacha: (speaking Quechua)

Blair: Oh, my gosh. Oh, no. Oh.

(Blair helps Incacha to the couch. Jim picks up phone.)

Jim: (into phone) I need an ambulance at 852 Prospect. We have a gunshot victim.

(Jim hangs up and goes over to crouch near couch. He places hand at top of Incacha's neck.)

Incacha: Enqueri...

Jim: Incacha... (speaks Quechua)

Incacha: (speaks Quechua)

Jim: (speaks Quechua)

Incacha: (speaks Quechua)

Jim: They've got Spalding. They're taking him to a... a forest in the sky.

Blair: What the hell does that mean?

Jim: I don't know.

Incacha: (speaks Quechua)

Jim: He-he wants me to become a Sentinel once again, to help save the tribe.

Blair: Good, good. It's about time.

(Incacha grabs Blair's arm.)

Blair: Hey, hey.

Incacha: (speaks Quechua)

Jim: (translates) He passes over the way of the shaman to you. He wants you to guide me to my animal spirit.

Blair: Jim, ask him how I do that. I don't know how to do that.

Jim: Incacha... (speaks Quechua) Incacha!

(Incacha dies. His hand is still wrapped around Blair's arm. Jim and Blair look at each other.)~

~Camera cuts back to Blair's pupil, and pulls back to reveal Gabe, still holding Blair's arm in the same position as before, and gazing into Blair's eyes. Blair gazes back. An unspoken understanding passes between the two of them, and Gabe slowly releases Blair and walks away. Blair watches him go, still half in a daze. Camera swings slightly to the side to show a pair of shoes on the floor next to Blair. It swings up, along the legs and up the torso, to reveal Jim, looking down at Blair. Silently, he holds out the paper to Blair. Blair reaches out and takes it. Camera focuses on the paper as, for a long second, they both have a hold on the paper, then Jim lets go. He steps back, and turns to go.

Blair: (clutching paper to his chest) Jim.

(Jim stops, but does not turn around.)

Blair: (softly) I love you, you know.

(Jim relaxes infinitesimally, and turns just the slightest bit towards Blair.)

Jim: (also softly) I know.

(Jim walks away. Blair curls up again, holding his thesis.)~

~Camera travels up toward the ceiling, keeping both Jim and Blair in screen as Jim walks away down the hallway, until Jim turns a corner.~

~Cut to close-up of Blair's head, bent down over the thesis.~

Blair: (voiceover) Jim gave me back my paper. I turned it in the next day and saved my fellowship appointment and my grants. But by then, I had realized what was truly important. What my true path was, who I was supposed to be. The university... the university was convenient. Being part of the academic world gave me access to resources that I could use to help Jim. So I would stay. I would keep working toward my doctorate. But that was not my true path in life. My path was to be Jim's Guide. His Shaman. His lifemate. Brother Marcus told me one day I will find my one true path. He told me not to let anything distract me from it. Incacha named me Jim's Shaman. He told Jim to honor me, so long as I have his best interests in my heart. This is the path I walk. This is where I belong. This... is my life.

~Fadeout~