DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions.  This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it.  Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.

There was something definitely screwy with Daniel. Maybe it was simply a case of 'once a wingnut, always a wingnut' but this was right off the wall, even for SG-1's resident - flake.

Okay, it was strange enough that the guy had already polished off half a dozen beers and he was not only still standing, but also showing no apparent neurological impairments, but this - was definitely pushing the envelope.

Jack shifted uncomfortably on the couch, trying not to stare at his companion. Who had better than half the contents of Jack's fridge arranged on the coffee table before him and appeared to be attempting to work his way though the buffet in a fairly systematic fashion.

Not a truly dedicated consume-everything-in-sight type of binge - no that wasn't it. It was more like - sampling. He would take a bite of this, a spoonful of that, consider it, then move onto something else. When he wasn't just touching it - seemingly as fascinated with what it felt like as what it tasted like.

Geez, the way he was carrying on you'd think the guy had never EATEN before.

As if he could read his mind Daniel suddenly turned to him, grinned widely and attempted to speak around the obstruction of his latest mouthful.

"This is really GOOD! What's it called again?"

"Uh - mayonnaise, Daniel. And you're actually supposed to - put it on something. Like bread, With a knife. You know - condiment? Not - out of the jar with a spoon." Jack shuddered. " Oh - oh - stop that. Just - stop. You're grossing me out, already! That's - disgusting!"

Daniel froze, his eyes widening. Hastily he swallowed, and put down the spoon and the jar of mayonnaise. 'I'm sorry, Jack," he said quickly. "You're right of course. This is very silly of me. Not the proper way to act at all. I apologize for upsetting you"

Okay - that was it. This had to be some sort of elaborate practical joke. Daniel was having him on big time. Getting back at him for what had happened on the mission. That had to be what it was. Had to be.

Something had been bothering Daniel when they went through the gate this morning to P3S-354. He had been acting antsy all through the pre-mission brief and as they had been drawing their equipment. His behaviour hadn't improved once they hit the other side.

Mind you, Daniel had been a bit 'off' for the last couple of months. Ever since that business with Xi'a. He'd come back from it and all, but the incident had left some effects that were at times, a little wearing on the nerves.

Daniel had picked up a case of the heebie jeebies that was making each trip through the gate a rather trying exercise in 'by the pricking of my thumbs.' He just had this 'feeling' he 'couldn't explain' - that 'something' was about to happen. Almost all the time now.

What was really annoying is that nine times out of ten - he had been right. This whatever-it-was had saved their butts more than a couple of times but what it was doing to Daniel almost didn't make it worth it.

Daniel had dutifully gone for his little chats with Doctor McKenzie which had resulted in the good Doc pronouncing him - a little fatalistic but otherwise fine, and Jack had to concede that as much as it bugged him, Daniel's propensity to skittishness wasn't an impediment to his performance in the field and actually had become - more than a bit of a useful tool. Still, Jack hated to watch his friend go through it, and if it was up to him, he'd find some way to make it go away. Jack fervently hoped that the Doc was right - this was just a phase Daniel was going through and it would pass.

God, he hoped so but if THIS was what was replacing it..

The jaunt to P3S-354 had been - weird. They had sent the MALP through 24 hours ago and the video it sent back had promptly sent Carter into paroxysms of scientific ecstasy. The gate on P3S-354 resided in futuristic looking building that was loaded with all sorts of - stuff. Technical stuff. Stuff that made Carter pretty happy anyway.

The site appeared to be abandoned, but to be on the safe way they had left the MALP there with the camera set to go on if something tripped the motion detector. When they had checked it the next day it had not moved, been interfered with in any way, nor was there any evidence of movement or activity in the building.

So they had pronounced the place deserted and decided to go for a look-see.

It was very plain from the way he had been fidgeting during the brief that Daniel wasn't too keen on going. He didn't try to get out of it or anything, it wasn't anything he said, and when Jack had leaned over and asked him if everything was okay he had whipped his head around, a tight-lipped smile on his face, jabbed his glasses back up on his nose with his index finger and simply said, "Fine. Fine. I'm fine."

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

As Carter and Teal'c fanned out, starting to give the place the once over Daniel had been sticking pretty close to him, vibrating like a plucked string. For some reason, having him there like that - bugged him. He didn't know why, it just did.

It kept on bugging him as he made his way around, Daniel still hovering and vibrating. Jack resisted the urge to smack him as he moved along what looked like a wall full of computer - thingees, Daniel trailing just behind him, darting his eyes about with a furtive, slightly hunted expression on his face.

After about ten minutes of this Jack couldn't help it. He braked and spun so abruptly Daniel bumped into him and then swiftly retreated, backing off in embarrassed haste.

"What?" Jack demanded testily. "What is it now?"

Daniel's head came up, chin jutting out defiantly. Behind his glasses his eyes narrowed, but not quite enough to conceal the hurt expression in them.

"Nothing." He said in a voice as shuttered as his expression. "Nothing at all. Pardon me for bothering you."

He stalked away in a cloud of offended dignity. Jack watched Daniel's stiff-backed progress feeling an overwhelming desire to pull chunks of hair out of his head.

Which was fairly interesting, because he couldn't for the life of him figure out where all the anger was coming from and why it should be so specifically directed at Daniel.

Maybe he should find out if there was something funny going on here..

Keeping one eye on Daniel, who was engaged in a rapt study of the items on a small table in the centre of the room, his back to the man who was watching him while trying not to look like he was, Jack crossed over to Carter. She was engrossed in examining a pedestal-like structure that looked as if it was some sort of control console. She looked up to acknowledge him as he reached her.

"So how's it going, Captain?"

Her face was shining with her excitement," Sir, this place is absolutely amazing. I - I can't even BEGIN to speculate on the function of most of what I have seen here. It might take - years to evaluate all of this equipment. Sir, this very well could be THE technological find we have been looking for."

"Ya think?" Jack gave her a 'very impressive' nod. "Well, that's fine, Captain. Sounds good. Listen, ah, what about the place here? What kinda readings are you getting? Everything clean? No - funny stuff? Oh I dunno, strange radiation or emissions or anything along those lines? Pixie dust? Laughing gas?"

She gave him a puzzled look before replying. "No sir, nothing like that. I would have reported any dangerous or anomalous readings immediately. Why do you ask?"

"Just - procedure. And yes, I know you would have informed me immediately if there had been - anything - like that - to inform me of. Good job. Carry on. I'll just be - over there. If anybody needs me..."

Good one, O'Neill. Next time see if you can sound any more like a goon.

He smiled crookedly at Carter and ambled away in the general direction of Daniel, rubbing the back of his neck with a rueful hand. No outside explanation for his outburst existed. That only left one other possibility.

He was letting Daniel get under his skin again. Over reacting. Again. Best bite the bullet and mend the fence.

His transit across the room was arrested by the beeping of one of Carter's instruments.

"Ah, Colonel," she began. "I might have been a little premature in my previous statement."

Jack swung around to look at her. "Meaning?"

"I don't understand why, but all of a sudden, the radiation level in the room is rapidly rising." She frowned at the instrument as if she did not believe what she was seeing. "It's going off the scale, sir. Well past safe levels. Colonel, this entire complex is being flooded with high intensity gamma radiation. We can't stay here, sir."

The words flew out of him before he even knew what he was saying.

"For crying out loud Daniel, what did you touch?"

What the - where the HELL had that come from? He could feel Sam and Teal'c's eyes upon him, no doubt wondering, as he was, if he had lost his mind.

The man accused snapped around to face him, visibly bristling as he started to stride toward him. "Nothing. I didn't touch anything. Whenever anything goes wrong, why do you always ASSUME it's my fault?"

Even though Jack tried to stop it, it still came out. Like something inside him was deliberately trying to provoke Daniel. And doing a damned fine job of it.

"That's because it usually is."

Daniel halted in mid-stride, a stunned expression on his face. His mouth gaped open, then began working with the force of his anger. At first only a few strangled sounds came out, and then he shook his head and waved Jack away as he started walking again, past him without looking, heading towards the others.

"I don't have to take this," he muttered. "Screw you, Colonel, sir."

Crap. He hadn't meant to say any of that. And yet, he couldn't seem to help himself. He didn't care what Sam said; there was something weird going on here. Radiation or no, they were getting the hell out of this place. Now!

"Just dial it up, Daniel," he said in a low voice as he started to walk after him.

Daniel stood in front of the DHD, his arms folded across his chest, a very stubborn look on his face.

"I can't." he said in a decidedly petulant voice.

"What do you mean - you CAN'T?" Oh boy, it was happening again.

"Because, then I would have to TOUCH something. Apparently I'm not allowed to do that."

Daniel continued to stand there, staring at him, his jaw set, lips tight, eyes staring daggers, looking for all the world like a kid about to hold his breath till he turned blue.

Daniel's resemblance to a petulant twelve-year-old was at complete odds with his confrontational glare and stance. He just looked so - cute. Jack closed his eyes, lowered his head, biting his lip to bite back an almost uncontrollable urge - to laugh.

"Oh for crying out loud!"

That was Carter, using one of his most favorite expressions in a very disgusted voice as she crossed quickly to the DHD and input the destination chevrons.

"With all due respect, sir, could you two settle this on your own time? We hang around here much longer and we are going to get fried."

Jack found he couldn't reply. The urge to laugh was getting too strong. But he didn't dare give into it. He'd already done enough damage. If he laughed at Daniel right now, there was a very good chance he wouldn't be forgiven for a long time.

Carter and Teal'c were already heading for the gate. She had tried to get Daniel to follow her, but he had shrugged off her arm and refused to move. He still stood there, glaring at Jack as he approached.

Jack was shaking with the effort of suppressing his laughter as he grabbed Daniel by the arm and hauled him after him toward the gate.

Come on," he snickered. "Let's get the hell out of this place. You can punch me out when we get home. Promise."

They had almost reached the event horizon when Daniel suddenly pulled his arm out of Jack's clasp and took a step back.

"Damn - forgot my pack. Left it by the DHD. I'll just go and get it."

Jack halted, intending to wait for him, but Daniel had other plans. A sudden shove sent him flying into the event horizon. Homeward bound.

By the time he emerged in the gate room he was almost prostrate with laughter.

It took a couple of minutes for him to get a hold of himself. He was well aware that he was getting more than a couple of strange looks from his teammates.

"Sir, " Carter said, with an edge to her voice. "Where's Daniel?"

"He's right behind me. He had to go back for his pack."

They turned and looked at the shimmering event horizon. Nothing happened.

Nothing happened for some more.

After five minutes of this, Jack found himself getting more than a bit concerned.

Just as he was about to hit panic mode and get them to redial P3S-354 Daniel came bounding through the event horizon, pack in hand.

Well, he had been mad, amused and worried all in a row. Now all he was - was relieved.

Daniel bounced down the ramp toward him, an enormous smile on his face. It there was any residual annoyed-ness in him over what had just gone down across the universe, you sure couldn't tell from looking at him.

"What took you so long?" he began as Daniel reached him. "We were starting to get a little worried."

Daniel put a hand on his shoulder and looked at him with earnest eyes. "I just want to say how sorry I am Jack. I wish to make up. I don't like fighting with you. It upsets me very much. So, I wish to tell you that I am not offended by what was said, and that it is forgotten."

With that he smiled, squeezed Jack's shoulder warmly, and walked away, towards the opening blast doors.

Jack gaped at him for a moment, and then looked at Sam and Teal'c. Who had been doing a fair bit of gaping themselves.

"Uh, I probably shouldn't be complaining, but will somebody explain something to me? What - was THAT?"

Sam shrugged. "Got me, Sir."

"I am equally unable to explain DanielJackson's behaviour. Or your own, for that matter."

Would have to bring that up, huh, Teal'c.

It wasn't till much later that Jack was to remember that Daniel hadn't answered his question..

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