DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).
Part One: Jack [by Jmas]
"Jack?"
Daniel's voice is barely there in the darkness, but I know where to find him. This is the third night we've gone through this; the third night of shakes and night sweats, the third night of dreams that bring him awake screaming my name...screaming for me to help him...
He's actually managed to sleep for three hours this time...a record for this particular vigil....
I still can't fully comprehend how a machine could have screwed him up so badly. That damnable Goa'uld machine is just as insidious as any so-called recreational drug I have ever known.
"What is it, buddy?"
"W-what day...?"
He's been asking that a lot lately. I guess it's easy to understand how he could lose track of the time so easily in this dark hole of an isolation room that I talked Janet into letting us commandeer to allow Daniel a little privacy and dignity as he fought his way back from this addiction. It's bad enough to see Daniel this way as his friend...it's worse than bad...but a ward full of doctors, nurses and well-meaning...but totally clueless...friends is not what Daniel needs right now. He needs someone who knows what it's like to fight to regain your very 'self' after coming so close to the edge....
And Daniel came closer to that edge than I even want to think about....
I knew, well...mostly knew, that he wasn't going to shoot me back there in that supply closet. It's just not in Daniel to shoot someone in cold blood...but there was just enough 'if' in that situation to scare a few months off my life.
Part of me wants to blame Daniel for letting that machine change him into someone I didn't recognize...and definitely didn't like. Another...bigger...part of me is just so damn glad to see him getting back to the irritating guy I've come to know...and respect, despite what he said back in that naquadah mine.
I turn on the small nightlight and bring him a cup of water. His hand shakes so badly that I have to help him hold the cup, but it's not as bad as it has been. He doesn't look at me...actually he's been avoiding my glance for days; the one sure sign that tells me he's coming back. He's remembering what he's done and finding himself at fault...
And some of it was his fault...I can't lie and tell him otherwise. But there's plenty of blame to go around. I should have made sure he was with us when we tried to escape; Shyla should never have put in him in that damn machine after it healed him...She knew what her father had become because of that thing. She knew what she was doing to Daniel even as she did it...
"Jack?" The voice is low, questioning.
"Yeah, Daniel?"
He looks right at me for a moment, then quickly away.
"Nothing, it's not important..."
He never could lie very well, especially not to me.
"Daniel?"