Author's Notes: Here is the next part . . . uhh . . .
I don't know if you're all going to kill me for it. It's pretty angsty. I'll just let you read it. There's nothing I can say to excuse it. *smile*
I guess this is my new Angst Release Series. I feel angsty, I write sequel. Oh well, there are worse things I could do. Like kill people. Oh wait, that's what I'm doing here. *ducks and runs*
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).
~The Warrior~
Padme is going to kill me. Wrap her hands around my throat and squeeze until there is nothing left. I can sense her anger now--light years away she is seething so viciously that I can feel it through our tenuous Force bond. Should I live to see her again, I doubt even the love she bares for me will prevent her from flogging me within an inch of my life.
My bond with Obi-Wan is much stronger--and anger doesn't even begin to describe what I sense from him. He is a Jedi, trained to let negative emotion flow into the Force. He's letting it flow, all right. And I can feel all of it--the pain, the anger, the betrayal. He knows that I tricked him, that I seduced him. He knows that the whole time I wooed him I had this in mind--my final objective. Not his love.
No. Love was not my final objective in the seduction of Obi-Wan Kenobi. It was hate, it was vengeance. It was the need to destroy you for what you have done. Not only Padme--even though it started with her. You have destroyed so much, so many lives . . . and you betrayed him. It didn't matter before . . .
. . but I was foolish and fell in love with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Now I must avenge him as well.
I bet he's cursing himself now. He taught me to shield so well--and now not even he can reach me. Padme ordered me not to go--but what did it matter? I'm not planning on returning, so there is little she can do to punish me. Her grief will temper her anger, eventually--I just hope she'll come to realize that it wasn't her fault.
Because it won't be. When I die, it won't be because of her. It will be because I chose to give my life for the slim--oh gods, how slim--chance that I could shift the course of the Universe.
I wish it had been different. I wish Obi-Wan's love hadn't run so strong--or my own. It was supposed to be uncomplicated--I'd learn the things I needed to know for this suicide mission, and when I was gone he'd realize that it had been a passing fancy, not love.
Oh, but it will hurt him now. I've thought of turning back more than once--not because I fear death, but because I don't want to hurt him. I can hear his voice so faintly in my head--pleading with me not to do this insane thing.
But he won't chase me. Can't chase me. Neither of them can take the chance that I'm already close--that their arrival will compromise my position and you will destroy me for sure. This way, there is hope--how little hope--that I can survive, standing against you in all of your power.
I won't, though. I know it.
I wonder if you know I'm coming. Would you be scared if you did?
~The Lover~
Qui-Gon--oh, Qui-Gon. Why aren't you here now? I've called you so many times--begged with the Living Force to spare you for just a few moments. Surely the afterlife isn't so busy that you can't come to talk to me. I need you, my Master.
I have done something foolish. Maybe you wouldn't call it foolish--after all, you're the one who always said to feel and not think. I felt, all right. I felt myself right out of logic and into love.
It was an accident, too. I didn't want to love her--I didn't want to love anyone. There's always just been you--your love was enough, even in death, to keep me whole. But she came to me in fear, and I held her. She was so smart, Qui-Gon. So wise, and kind, and sweet, and beautiful . . . and so alive.
I couldn't help it. It was a losing battle from the beginning--and even though I know now that it was calculated, that she was trying to trick me into teaching her more than I should have . . . I still can't hate her. I can only hope that she loves me too--loves me enough to turn around and come back to me.
Padme is certainly not helping things, Master. Remember how she drove you wild by staring down her nose at you as if she were seven feet tall and you the tiny child? She's doing it to me now, those brown eyes so very calculating. She's different since the fall--so very different. Harder. Cooler. Older.
Heavy with child now, waddling everywhere she goes, and yet she still manages to make me feel like a small boy who has been caught peeking up older girl's dresses. I don't think she's sure that I wasn't a part of Sabe's insanity yet. She's not convinced that Sabe fooled me as much as she fooled her.
But she did. I know she loves me, Qui-Gon--you can't fake the emotions in your heart, and I felt that love thriving and growing and beating with every second we spent together.
And yet still she left, went on this damnfool suicide mission.
Her touch keeps getting weaker, Master. What am I supposed to do? Sit here and wait? I can't follow her--Padme and I knew that from the first moment she left. If we follow her, we could expose her.
Or worse--we could expose the children. And if there is anything in this Galaxy that can not--that /must/ not happen--it is for him to find out about his children.
I hate waiting, Master. I've hated it ever since I had to wait behind that damn energy field. Do you know what the Sith's 'sabre looked like through those beams? I could hardly see it--it was just a blur, blending into the energy that held me back from you. And then it was gone--buried in you. Oh, how I learned to hate waiting.
I swore that I'd never have to wait again--never have to stand by and watch someone else that I loved fall. Great Jedi I am. I lost my first Apprentice to the Dark Side, and I can't even keep a simple promise to myself.
Master--if she falls . . . Promise me you'll watch her. Promise me.
~The Ruler~
I don't know what I should be more upset about: that you have ruined my plans, or that you're going to get yourself killed. If I think about the plans, it's easier to let each moment pass, take in each breath and let it out again. Breathing has become difficult since you left.
My mind keeps coming back to you, Sabe. Why are you doing this? What could I have possibly done to inspire this kind of blind devotion in you? It terrifies me--the thought that you are traveling across the Galaxy to throw your life away on a foolish chance . . . and I /will/ blame myself, no matter what your silly little note said.
I thought Obi-Wan was a part of your scheme at first--but he's so distraught that I've realized you must have tricked him too. That wasn't very nice, Sabe. The man's in love with you. That arrogant, prim and proper Jedi who's back was so stiff at one time that he couldn't even sit down--he's in love. With you.
And you're throwing it away? That's just foolish, Sabe. Even if I didn't think much of him to begin with, he's proved himself over and over. He's a good man, a kind and generous and caring man . . . and he's grown so much in the past year--grown so old. He needs you.
I think he hates Naboo, Sabe, and you're not helping much. Naboo is where he lost his Master. Where he took his first Apprentice and where his Apprentice turned on him and nearly killed him. And now it is where he has fallen in love with a woman who is going to die--going to throw her life away in a useless quest to kill a demon.
Don't die, Sabe. Neither Kenobi nor I can take it. He's lost so much--and I have too. My home, my planet, my love--and now I just have my friend. And you're going to take her from me.
You can't kill Anakin, Sabe. He's too strong. He nearly killed Obi-Wan. What do you think you have going for you? Size? Strength? Maybe surprise--you know about surprise.
Or--
--oh dear gods, no. Not that. Please not that.
Sabe--are you going to pretend to be me?
He will kill you.
~The Enemy~
What have I done.
By all that is holy--what have I done?
I have the broken body of the woman I thought was you at my feet--and I didn't even kill her. Sidious killed her--he thought it was you, and that you were going to win me back, turn me from the Dark to the Light ..
I dreamed that you did last night, Amidala. That you came to me, that you opened your arms and I flew into them. You were so much larger than me in the dream--I was just a little boy again. And you held me and it was so bright--
--bright. Sabe was bright. Not any more. She's gone--I don't think she's breathing. And all I can think is that there is no turning back now. You will not forgive me this, if indeed you would have forgiven me at all. But not this--never this.
I tried to save her. When I realized what Sidious thought, I reached out to protect her. I didn't hate her--she had done nothing. She was trying to protect you--and I understand that so well. That's what I'm trying to do too. Protect you. From me.
I'm still shoving the Force through her body. Will you know how hard I am trying to save your friend? I don't know why--I know that she was here to kill me. But I'm not Dark--not yet. I won't have Sabe's death on my head.
Do you know that she came here dressed as you? Your makeup and your clothing and a shield wrapped so tightly around her mind that I actually thought it was you for a few moments . . .
But her eyes are gray. Did you know that? Sabe has the most beautiful gray eyes--but they're not yours.
Her eyelash just twitched--more Force. I need more of the Force, and I don't care that I'm drawing on the Dark Side--it is power. So much more powerful than the light, and it can't hurt to use just a little--just a little bit to save such a bright young woman.
Ahhh--a finger moved. She will live, Amidala. She will live.
What will she tell you? Her eyes are opening now--staring up at me. Will she tell you how I saved her? Will she tell you that I still love you ..
Movement. Her hand--at her waist. Those gray eyes--the eyes that gave her away. They're at peace.
"Good bye, Anakin."
And the world explodes.
~The Watcher~
I'm sorry it had to be this way, Obi-Wan. You have no idea how many times I've regretted it. The small mistakes that I made--the ones that lead to my death and Anakin's folly. I should have been wiser. I should have known. It seems sometimes that the only thing I've done right is to take you as my Padawan--and that didn't even happen as it should have.
I want to come to you now, but I must be here. In a way I am keeping another promise to you--one that I never granted, but you asked for. Sabe's time is near--she is clinging to life by stubbornness alone, and I will wait here to ease her into the Force. I know the future.
She will fail, Obi-Wan. Not for wont of trying, but the Dark is so strong. Anakin will be maimed--will cease to be the man you know and become a different kind of creature. I've seen it--and how I wish I hadn't. How I wish I could change it.
Sabe is making a mistake. I tried to reach her, but she is too drawn around herself. Too well shielded. You taught her well, Obi-Wan. Very very well.
She has a detonator in her belt. Anakin--he's still Anakin now, but he won't be for long--he's trying to save her. If only I could have reached her, she could stop this all. Show him love, and he would crumble. He's so close to the Light right now--
--but all futures say the same thing. She is going to press the button, and any chance he has of touching the light will extinguish when she does. Sabe will die, will merge with the Force, and Anakin will become Darth Vader.
It's not her fault any more than it is yours, Obi-Wan. But you both are making mistakes now, just like Amidala and I did then. We all bear the burden of this creature on our shoulders--but you and Amidala will have to fight it from your plane while Sabe and I fight it from ours.
Ahhh--I see her merging now. She must have done it. It is strange, how time flows and ebbs when you are one with the Force. I thought that I still had time left before she would pass to the next plane.
It is not bad to die, Obi-Wan. It is joy, diving through the currents of the Force. I am the Force, now, and it is beautiful.
Some day, my Padawan, my love, I will show you. But now I have something else to take care of.