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BRRRRIIIIING!
Click.
"Hello, you have reached the Jedi Temple. If you need to reach the Jedi Council, press one. If your planet is in dire trouble, press two. For anything else, press three."
BLEEP.
"All the Jedi Knights are either on assignment or enjoying five minutes of peace and quiet between assignments. Please hold."
Several minutes of annoying, syrupy elevator music.
"Hello? Yes? You need help? Your planet is in dire trouble? No problem buddy... oh, you're a woman. Sorry about that. So, what do you need? Planet being invaded by horrible ugly slimy amphibious soldiers who are eating your kids for breakfast?"
"Gotcha. And we'll send a ... what? What was the question? Uh... yes, ma'am, if we send a Jedi or more than one Jedi, you're expected to give them free housing and food until they get back here. No exceptions, unless your buildings have all been destroyed. Is that the case on your planet, ma'am? I thought not."
"More than one? You want a small legion of Jedi to come and wipe out the control over your planet? I'm sorry, ma'am, but we charge extra if you get more than five Jedi at one time..."
"What's that? We're not supposed to charge money? Individual Jedi don't... what? Listen, lady: do you think that this huge Temple just materialized out of thin air? Do you have any idea what the cost of upkeep in this place is? We had a horrible experience with the plumbing just yesterday!"
"The aliens are destroying the capital city? How much do you think it will cost to repair all THAT, in comparison for a few dozen Jedi? Not so cheap now, hmm?"
"Okay, the Jedi will be there tomorrow morning, and they will be bringing lightsabers, so tell civilians to stay away from them because some of them get kinda itchy when they're fighting."
"Have a nice day!"
BEEP.