Author's Notes: It's all the damn bunnie's fault. Them and Frijoles, the Juan Valdez burro, he gave them coffee. I hope you enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).
"I can not believe I let you talk me into this." Qui-Gon remarked as he watched Mace fiddle with the equipment.
"Relax will you. We used to do this all the time, remember?" Mace replied.
"Yeah, but then we were Padawans, not a Master and a Council member."
"So? That just means we can’t get into as much trouble now."
"Yeah, but we’re supposed to be responsible now."
"Responsible? The Qui-Gon Jinn I used to know didn’t know the meaning of the word. Lighten up will you."
"I still think-"
"Hush! I’ve got it working now."
The two Jedi listened as the sound of laughter drifted to them from Adia Gallia’s quarters.
"I’m glad you could make it Depa." She said with a giggle.
"Me too, it’s been forever since we’ve been able to do this."
"Tell me about it. Being a Council member just doesn’t allow for many sleepovers."
"That it doesn’t. Did you bring the ‘vids?"
"You bet, you got the drinks?"
"Yep. Can’t have a good sleepover without booze."
"Think you could manage to fix me a Flying Hutt?"
"Yow. Goin’ for the strong stuff so soon?"
"You bet. Hey where’d you get the Alderaan Fire Wine from? I thought that stuff was illegal?"
"It is, I stole if from Mace. Pop in the first ‘vid would you."
"Sure."
"She WHAT?! I can’t believe she did that! That stuff costs a small fortune!" Mace exclaimed.
"Shut-up, Mace. You deserved it, how could you keep that stuff and not tell me?"
"Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side."
"Mace, I’m your best friend, I’m never on your side."
"So what ‘vids did you bring?" Adia asked as she passed Depa the drink.
"The Best of Chippendales, and the Best of Chippendales Bloopers. I figured we could laugh and make fun of the poor underdressed fools."
"I love the way you think."
The women chatted easily, making the occasional insulting comment about the dancers.
"Oh come on! That is so fake." Depa declared pointing at the screen.
"Definitely! No human is that well endowed." Adia agreed giggling.
"So what do you think it is?"
"Dunno. Socks?"
The two women broke into giggles as they imagined the poor sap rolling up socks and stuffing them into his shorts.
"Shit!" Adia exclaimed as she spilled her drink over the front of her robes. "Shit!" She repeated as she realized that the bottle had been almost full.
"It’s OK," Depa said, "there's more, just take your robes off and grab another one."
Back in the boys’ room, Qui poked Mace in the ribs.
"Does this thing get visual?" He asked with a grin.
"I’ll see what I can do." Mace replied grinning as well.
He reached over and fiddled with the controls; soon the holo-screen flicked on revealing the two women. Adia wasn’t naked, much to the disappointment of the men, but she was clad only in a loose shirt, and leggings. The video had ended and Adia had switched on some music.
"Hey do you remember this song." Depa asked.
"How could I forget, this song was playing the first time I kissed Mace." Adia replied with a smile.
"Ooohh! You never told me about this one. Tell me! How was it?"
Adia giggled at her friend’s impatience.
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes as Mace puffed up and began to preen in anticipation.
"It was horrible!"
Both Qui-Gon and the girls burst out laughing. Mace stared at the screen in shock.
"How could she say that!" He exclaimed.
"He had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He almost bit me."
Qui-Gon laughed as Mace turned red and started looking for somewhere to hide.
"That’s better than Qui-Gon, he drooled the first time I kissed him." Depa said.
"No!"
"Yes!"
"NO!"
Mace burst out laughing as Qui-Gon glared angrily at the screen.
"There! See how you like it." He chortled.
The song changed to faster one, and Depa jumped to her feet.
"Hey ‘Dia, think you can still shimmy better than I can?"
"You bet I can."
"Prove it."
The other master hopped to her feet and started to move to the music.
"Hold on, a minute." Depa said as she stripped down until she was as dressed as Adia.
"Ready?"
"Yep."
Both Mace and Qui-Gon had their eyes glued to the screen as they watched the women dance.
"They’ve, uh, definitely, uh, aged well." Qui stuttered.
"Definitely."
Suddenly there was a noise out side the room.
"Master?"
"Shit! It’s Obi-Wan." Qui jumped to his feet and began gathering the empty bottles.
"Turn that off!" He said as he looked for a place to stash them.
"Are you crazy? I want to see this."
"Mace!" He hissed as the door opened.
Obi-Wan entered the room and just stared. His Master was standing there with this ridiculous grin on his face, trying to pretend that his arms weren’t full of empty beer bottles. He looked over at Master Windu who was staring at something on the ‘vid screen. He looked up at the screen and felt his eyes go wide. He finally managed to drag his gaze away from the screen and back to his Master.
"What’s going on?" He asked.
"Uh, well you see, uh…Help me out here Mace." Qui-Gon said as he tried to regain his Jedi serenity.
"We’re spying Adia and Depa, wanna beer?"
"No thanks, I think I’ll just leave." Obi replied as he walked from the room.
"That went well, don’t you think?" Mace remarked, never glancing up from the screen.
Back in the other room, Adia and Depa had stopped dancing and had collapsed in a heap on the floor. Every now and then one of them would giggle.
"So," Depa said as she panted slightly, "Who won that one?"
"I think it’s a tie." Adia replied as she reached for another drink.
"Sounds good to me. Pop in that other ‘vid would ya."
"Sure, it sounds like a good laugh."
Adia started the vid and snagged a Corinthian Ale for Depa.
"Thanks."
"No problem."
They sat in silence as they waited for the show to start. A smiling announcer appeared on the screen.
"In this video you will find some of the most embarrassing footage ever recorded by our esteemed cameramen, I hope you thoroughly enjoy yourselves."
The announcer vanished and the first clip began. The Jedi all had a good time laughing at the expense as the poor dancers humiliated themselves and the audience. Adia, who had been taking a sip of her drink as the latest scene started, glanced up at the screen and spat her drink out.
"Holy shit!" She cried. "It’s Mace!"
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
The Jedi fixed their attention the screen, one with growing horror in his eyes.
"Turn it off!" He cried as he reached for the holo-screen switch.
"Oh no you don’t," Qui-Gon said as he grabbed his friend, "I want to see this."
Everyone but Mace laughed as they watched a younger version of the esteemed Council member flail awkwardly around the dance area.
"When did you do this, Mace?" Qui-Gon asked, turning to his friend.
"Don’t you remember, you were with me."
"What?" Qui-Gon gasped as he turned back to the screen.
Sure enough an equally clumsy Qui-Gon had joined his friend on the dance floor. Fresh gales of laughter erupted as an older woman reached over and goosed both the Jedi causing them to jump. Finally the movie ended.
"Oh…Force…I don’t….believe it." Depa gasped as she struggled to breathe normally again.
"Me…either." Adia panted in reply.
Just as they calmed down, they made the mistake of looking at each other. They cracked up again.
"This," Qui-Gon said, his voice icy, "never leaves this room."
"Never." Mace growled in reply.
Adia and Depa had finally calmed down for real, when Depa spoke.
"Who do you think the sexiest Jedi in the Temple is?"
"Oh I Don’t know, there are a lot of nice ones."
"Yeah, but there’s got to be one that stands out."
"You sound like you have someone in mind."
"I do, but I don’t want to tell you, it’ll influence your decision."
"Well Mace certainly is nice. He got a mischievous streak and that killer grin. On the other hand Qui has that wonderful hair and that overwhelming presence. Still there are others. I’ve got it out, the sexiest Jedi is definitely-"
The boys, who had been scooting closer to the edge of their seats in anticipation, promptly fell off as a burst of static overwhelmed Adia's comment.
"Mace Windu, so help me if you don’t get that thing working again, I’ll kill you." Qui-Gon growled.
"I’m tryin’. You that anxious to lose?"
"Shut-up and do it!"
"There."
They turned back to the screen hoping to discover the identity of the winning man.
"Really?!" Depa squealed.
"I knew you’d laugh." Adia moaned as she buried her face in her pillow.
"No. I’m not laughing at you, that’s who I chose too."
"Really?"
"You bet."
"What do you see in him?"
"Oh definitely his stamina."
"Mmm. Yeah. His eyes are fabulous too."
"Damn, are the ever. And the way he walks. Grrr."
"Depa!" Adia giggled, "Sometimes I go watch him practice, he’s beautiful."
"Gorgeous. Your gonna kill me."
"Why?"
"I spied on him in the showers once after practice."
"No! Arrgghh. I hate you! Did you take pictures?"
"Sorry."
"Grrr!"
Both Qui and Mace were going crazy.
"Dammit who is it?"
"Me of course, Qui, it’s gotta be me."
"Shut-up, Mace. It can’t be you."
"Why not?"
"When was the last time you practiced your saber drills?"
"Um…"
"See. It’s me."
"Yeah right, when was the last time you used the gym showers after practice?"
"Well…."
"See, it’s not you."
"Well then who is it."
"There’s only one thing to do." Adia said finally.
"What’s that?"
"I’ll take you with me the next time he practices, and we can both stare and take pictures."
"You gotta deal." Depa said with a yawn.
"I thinks it’s time we went to sleep." Adia said as she started to yawn too.
"Yep."
The two climbed into Adia’s bed and turned off the lights.
"But they can’t go to sleep, we don’t know who it was?" Mace complained.
"Yeah, I mean how do they expect us to sleep now?" Qui griped.
"I’ve gotta know."
"It was Yoda, Mace, so shut-up and let us sleep." Adia growled before deactivating the transmitter.
"They spied on us!" Qui said in shock
"Yoda?"
"How could they!"
"Yoda?!
"They knew what they were putting us through."
"Yoda!"
"Mace, this is all you fault!"
"Yoda!"
Back in his room, Obi-Wan turned off his own private holo-screen with a smile.
"So Adia and Depa are gonna spy on me? I like the sound of that."
He climbed into his bed and grinned; he was actually looking forward to tomorrow’s practice.