Think about the mailing lists you're on and think about how many of the stories posted there that you actually read. If you read all of them, you have more time on your hands than the average person. Then ask yourself how many times you've read the first paragraph of a story and stopped, whether it be because you lost interest, or the phone rang or you had dishes soaking in the sink. In fan fiction, as in any fiction, the opening paragraph is the single most important part of a story. If it doesn't grab the readers right away, they won't keep reading.

I have seen several stories with opening paragraphs that give away too much of the story immediately. Stories with an open ended first paragraph that create some sort of suspense are always a better bet.

Mallory's Buffy the Vampire Slayer story Angel in Hell, which I found at The Wonderful World of Make Believe, is an example of a story that gives you too much at the beginning.

Angel woke up with a start, feeling totally confused. He opened his eyes then blinked. Where the Hell was he? The last thing he remembered was making love with Buffy. Now he was in that a strange place. He looked around him and saw it was some kind of natural little cavern. The place was warm and the grey stones where he was lying were warm too. Near him, there was a very small lake full of hot water. Angel bathed his face then sat up. He realized he was totally naked. He frowned as memories flooded into his mind. As he remembered...

It doesn't help that the story is called "Angel in Hell." Well, now we know where he is. He's in hell. The only unanswered question now is how he got there, which is answered in the next few paragraphs. If the idea of Angel in hell doesn't grab you right away, there's not a lot of reason to continue.

On the flipside, I will once again refer to Jessica Harris' Catechism, and the fact that I just love the story has nothing to do with it.

A black blindfold bisects her pale face, melts into the shadows of her dark hair. I work my knuckles past the ridge of her pelvic bone, and the darkness spills into her mouth as it opens in a round black O of need.

First of all, this is an X-Files story. We know from the summary that it's about Scully. Scully is not a particularly sexual being, and it's even more staggering to read about her doing this. Where did the girl come from? How did they get in this situation? Why is she blindfolded? Was it Scully's choice or the girl's? I had to know.

And another cute opening paragraph that raises an eyebrow is Amy B.'s Once a Thief story Losing Control.

"Fuck me," panted Victor into Mac's ear, hands tugging at his belt. "Fuck me hard."

OK, so this one isn't quite as intriguing as the Scully one, but it certainly makes you sit up straight.

If you're interested in examining this a little more, look at the opening paragraphs to some of your favorite books. Some examples:

• Microserfs by Douglas Coupland - "This morning, just after 11:00, Michael locked himself in his office and he won't come out."
  
  
  
• The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe - "True! - nervous - very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened by senses - not destroyed - not dulled them."
  
  
  
• A Way of Thinking by Theodore Sturgeon - "I'll have to start with an anecdote or two that you may have heard from me before, but they'll bear repeating, since it's Kelley we're talking about."

Next time you write a story, think about it.

- Jane