Chapter 4
Author: Rose Marsters & Deborah Eddy
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Spoilers: Somnambulist
Summary: In order for the three to survive a new challenge, Doyle must learn to accept his inner demon.
Thoughts between Angel, Doyle and Cordelia are marked //like this.//
Angel, Cordelia, and Doyle were entwined on the vampire's bed when their world began to change.
Earlier that evening, they had gone to the movies to try and get their minds off the "Penn saga", as Doyle put it, for a little while. Cordelia was mildly upset over her missed audition, although both Angel and Doyle knew that her fussing over it was nothing more than her way of distracting them all from the real problem.
Somewhere around ten minutes into the movie, however, they were all staggeringly bored, and to provide entertainment, started sending X-rated images into each others' minds. Somewhere around twenty minutes into the movie, they decided to go home to bed.
Returning home just before midnight, they had tumbled into the elevator, their rising passion making them desperate to get downstairs. As soon as they were in Angel's apartment, Doyle had grabbed Cordelia, pressing her against the wall and kissing her passionately. She felt weak as he ran his hands under her shirt, the feeling of his fingers on her flesh making her skin tingle in delight. Doyle moaned into her mouth as Angel pressed himself against the half-demon's back, trailing kisses down his neck as he moved to remove Doyle's jacket. Cordelia groaned her displeasure as Doyle's hands temporarily left her body long enough for him to shrug off his jacket and shirt, but he wasn't gone long.
As Angel threw the intrusive garments on the floor, Doyle moved to remove Cordelia's shirt and bra. Angel concentrated solely on ridding Doyle of his clothes, while the half-demon's hands paid the same loving tribute to Cordelia. As soon as they were both almost entirely bare, they turned on Angel, almost tearing off his clothes as they moved towards the bed. By the time all articles of clothing were shed, the three lovers had tumbled together onto Angel's bed.
Mouths met sensitive skin as they writhed together on the covers and broke off only to moan. In the brief time they had been bound together, they'd learned that, although speaking in the silence of their minds was the best way to communicate, when they were so intimately embraced, sound tended to heighten the pleasure.
Angel had begun to realise that each time they made love, it somehow got better – it became more intense – as if their bodies became more in tune with each other. This time was no exception – he could feel every part of Doyle and Cordelia, and not just the touch of their hands on his body and their trembling flesh against his. He could feel their heartbeats. Their souls. Their love. At some point they seemed to liquefy and merge, their bodies flowing into each other. And as the moments passed Angel felt himself falling, losing himself inside them. Just when he feared that he was about to slip into oblivion due to such intense pleasure, he felt Doyle and Cordelia's bodies tense in sudden fear.
His eyes snapped open as Doyle gasped:
//Sweet Jesus... not now!//
Angel felt Cordelia whimper as she prepared for the onslaught of the vision. But when it arrived, it was different from anything she or Doyle had experienced before.
Suddenly, the images invaded all their senses. In blurry flashes that lasted seconds, they saw a dim image of someone holding an old book, someone whose face was just out of sight. They could smell the mustiness of a pile of books, see pale hands turning the pages as though searching for something, and then what seemed like a number of magical ingredients; they could smell the scent of dried herbs, they could hear the bubbling of boiling water, they could feel the heat coming from numerous candles, but most of all they could feel... absolutely no pain.
As the sensation of the unity between them that the vision caused surged through them, their pleasure reached its climax and all three cried out as the waves of ecstasy overtook them.
For long moments that seemed like hours, they remained entwined, clutching each other tightly, trembling and gasping as they eased down from the sensational high they'd just experienced. The one thought that entered their minds, however, was exactly the same.
//Oh my God.//
//What the hell was that?// Doyle asked shakily as he rested his head on Angel's shoulder. The vampire merely shook his head.
//I don't know.//
//We had a vision,// Cordelia pointed out. Doyle nodded.
//Obviously, Princess.//
//No,// Cordelia protested, frustrated by his misunderstanding. //We had a vision!//
//She's right,// Angel added. //You two had a vision and yet you experienced no pain.//
Cordelia sighed in relief as she buried herself further into Angel's embrace. //Thank God. The PTB has forgiven us for whatever horrible karma we created in a past life and decided to stop punishing us.//
For a moment both Angel and Doyle weren't sure whether she was genuinely convinced of this, or if she was just being sarcastic. Cordelia sighed sadly. //Or not.//
//Maybe they just developed a new brand of aspirin for our headache? Like, when we're touching it helps to ease the pain?// Doyle suggested. Angel understood what he meant, but Cordelia was confused.
//Huh?//
//We must have been spared the pain because of... of...//
//We were so closely emotionally connected,// Angel finished for him, realising Doyle was trying to find the least crude way to put it.
//Good one, Ange',// Doyle saluted. Angel grinned.
//Yes, I thought so too.//
//So you're saying, that there was no pain because we were having sex?// Cordelia asked, interrupting her lovers' joke. Angel nodded.
//It's a possibility.//
Suddenly, Cordelia sat up, looking down upon the two men in the bed with an indignant expression. //Are you telling me that we could have avoided all this suffering, all this time, and they didn't tell us?!//
Both Angel and Doyle chuckled at her outburst. //You know that they don't tell us anything at all,// Angel pointed out. //Why would they start now?//
After a moment's thought, Doyle continued: //But at the same time, y'know, it wouldn't work as a solution to all our little vision problems.//
//Why not?// demanded Cordelia, her eyes flashing.
//What if we were all upstairs with Wesley when you had a vision?// suggested Angel. //You know you don't get any warning in advance.//
Teasing her gently, he went on, //Just imagine us telling Wesley that we have to throw ourselves on the floor to have sex right now so you wouldn't have any pain.// As he sent her the ludicrous image, he was rewarded by a reluctant giggle. //Not to mention the fact that you have no control over where we are when the visions happen. What if we were in Sunnydale in front of Giles and the others? Just imagine if we did this in full view of them.//
//Eww, gross,// murmured Cordelia.
Angel sat up in the bed, thinking over the vision he had experienced with his lovers. "We may have another problem," he said aloud, as he cuddled Cordelia against him.
//Like what?// asked Doyle, leaning over to kiss the vampire.
//Like I'm not sure what the hell that was. Books, candles, spells and herbs – does this ring any bells for you two?//
//Well, of course, somebody's planning some icky magic or other,// Cordelia thought dismissively.
//And the man with the book? I thought maybe I recognized him, but I wasn't sure. You've both got more experience with the visions than I have.//
Cordelia tensed suddenly, alarm coming into her mind. //Those books, the spell books – oh my God, I think one of them was the one we used to get Doyle back.//
Doyle shuddered, not wanting to remember what being dead was like.
//You don't think...//
//That could be it,// agreed Angel. //Someone may want to reverse the spell we used. Someone who knows who and what we are, and what we are to each other.//
His grip tightened involuntarily on both of them. His face remained impassive, but both of them could feel his sudden fear at the thought that they might be taken away from him.
//We'll deal with it, Angel.// Cordelia tried to reassure him. /First things first, we'll find that spell book we used and make certain it's somewhere nice and safe.//
//First things first, eh? Well, I know what first thing I'd like to do first,// murmured Doyle as he bent to kiss Cordelia.
She reached up for him hungrily, cupping his face in her hands, her fear for him evident in the greed of her touch.
Angel watched, concentrating on blocking from their minds just how afraid he really was.
A short time later, they began a comprehensive search of Angel's apartment and the office, but the book was missing.
//I can't find it anywhere!// Cordelia sent from the office upstairs.
Downstairs, Doyle and Angel were rummaging through boxes of the vampire's old books, but had so far found nothing.
Doyle sighed loudly. //It must be here somewhere!//
He felt Cordelia shake her head rapidly. //No. No. No. It's not here, Doyle.//
//Calm down, Cordy,// Angel soothed, feeling her tension was about to tear her apart. //Come down here.// The sound of Cordelia's high heels clumping on the stairs reverberated about Angel's apartment as she made her way down to join them.
When she appeared at the bottom of the stairwell, her anguished expression matched her screaming emotions as she approached them. Putting down a particularly heavy volume of ancient folklore, Doyle opened his arms and Cordelia sighed in relief as she wrapped her arms around him.
//This is bad, isn't it?//
Both Angel and Doyle nodded.
//Yeah,// Angel replied solemnly. //This is not good at all.//
//I think we can safely say it's not here,// Doyle suggested as he held Cordelia closer to him. He felt her shiver against him, and knew she was imagining the worst.
//It's all right darlin', we'll find it,// he tried to comfort her, but she only shook her head in dismay.
//But what if we can't find it in time? What if someone really is...//
//We won't let that happen, Cordelia,// Angel said sternly.
//We'll make sure we get it back from whoever stole it.// Placing a gentle kiss on Cordelia's forehead, Doyle sighed. //And you think you know who stole it, don't you, Angel?//
Angel frowned visibly. He knew there was no point in trying any longer to keep his thoughts from either of them.
//It was Penn we saw in our vision this mornin', wasn't it?//
Angel simply shrugged. //I don't know... but it seems to be a logical assumption. It has to be Penn, or someone who is working with him. I'm pretty sure he knows about our bond now.//
//And he'd try to break it to hurt you?// Cordelia asked. Angel only nodded.
//He said he'd do the worst thing we could imagine. And more than anything else, he wants me to be again what I once was.//
//But, if the spell is broken...//
It was Doyle who answered, feeling the fear in Cordelia's mind as she stared at him.
//If the worst happens, Princess,// Doyle sent tenderly. //You just remember this. You and Angel, you gave me the most wonderful time that any man ever had. If it can't last forever, then, y'need to know, I don't regret a minute of it.//
He held her tight against him for a moment, and as he did, he tried to block his own fear from her. But Angel felt it, and met his eyes.
//But we can't let that happen!// Cordelia argued as she tore herself away from Doyle's strong embrace. //We have to stop him!//
//But how, Princess?// Doyle interjected. //That's the only problem. We don't know where he is. When he's going to try this. We don't even know if he'll be able to perform such a spell.//
Both looked to Angel for guidance. Angel, however, had moved away from them and was pacing restlessly.
//I don't like it when he does that,// Cordelia complained. Doyle nodded in agreement.
//She's right, man, it's not very comforting.//
Angel didn't reply. After a few more moments, he suddenly stopped. Doyle stepped towards him, hand reached out to take hold of his shoulder.
//Angel?// Angel looked up at Doyle.
From a few feet away, Cordelia could tell that he was sending Doyle a private message. She hated it when they did that.
//Come on, guys. What is it?//
She saw Doyle grimace.
//Are you sure about this, man? I mean... what'll he say?//
//Who?// Cordelia interrupted. Her face became pale as her thoughts intruded on their private conversation.
//No,// she muttered, shaking her head as she began to back away from them.
//Maybe we should...// Angel began but the anger that flared in Cordelia prevented him from finishing the thought.
//No, Angel! No way!//
//Come on, Cordy. Perhaps it's time?/ Doyle suggested, but Cordelia would not be swayed.
//No, no, no! I don't want him to know!//
//Cordelia,// Angel began to reason. //What else can we do? I know you're embarrassed, but...//
"NO!" Cordelia yelled aloud, catching both men by surprise. They could always tell when she was really angry, because it was really the only time she spoke aloud to them when they were alone. Noticing their shock, Cordelia sighed sadly and sunk into a nearby armchair.
"I'm sorry," she whispered quietly as she put one hand to her forehead. Doyle quickly crossed the room to when she was sitting. Kneeling down beside her, he took her hands in his.
//'Delia, I think it's for the best, love.//
//He's right, Cordy,// Angel added. //Our lives are at risk here – he may be able to help us. If you don't want to do it for your own sake, or for mine, then just do it for Doyle.//
Slowly opening her eyes, Cordelia looked up at Angel, and then down again at Doyle. She almost cried when she looked into the dark depths of his eyes, remembering for a moment what it was like to lose him.
Finally, looking back down at her lap, she nodded.
//Okay.//
//Are you sure, Princess?// Doyle asked gently.
Cordelia nodded, trying not to cry as she leaned forward, burying herself in his warm embrace.
//It's not that I'm ashamed of you,// she sobbed onto his shoulder. //I could never be ashamed of you two. It's just...//
//You're worried about what he'll think?// Angel finished for her when her worlds failed her. Cordelia nodded.
//Don't worry, love,// Doyle soothed, trying to calm her as she continued to cry in his arms. //He won't think badly of you, I know it.//
Despite the tender reassurances that Cordelia received from her lovers, she had to admit that she was concerned about what Wesley would think of her. After all, he was the closest link she had to Sunnydale and her friends there... even if a few years ago she would have died rather than admit that they were her friends.
And if Wesley thought she was sick and twisted to be intimate with both Angel and Doyle, never mind being with them when they were intimate with each other, how long would it be before the rest of the Scoobies found out?
Reluctantly Cordelia slipped out of bed, leaving Angel and Doyle still snuggled up together. She deliberately blocked their thoughts from her, knowing that there were things she needed to sort out for herself.
Going upstairs to the office Cordelia sipped at a glass of fruit juice while she organized her thoughts. What was she so scared about? Was it wrong to love two men at once? Society would say yes, it was, particularly when those same men had an intimate physical relationship with each other as well as with her.
And what about demons? she wondered. What would society think about her living with a pair of demons on an intimate basis? In some ways she really didn't care but in other ways...
Cordelia shivered. Images came to her, of how Buffy and the others might react to her having Angel as a lover. Doyle they could accept, but Angel? She really did not want to be around if Buffy became jealous of her and of Doyle for being Angel's lovers.
She was giving herself a headache, she realised, and sitting here in splendid isolation was doing no good. She would know soon enough if Wesley still cared for her or if he despised her. Right now, all she wanted was to be with her lovers – both of them.
Slipping back into bed, Cordy became aware that both her lovers were awake and that they were looking at her.
//Where did you go, Princess?// Doyle asked her gently, his fingers rubbing her back to warm her up even as he cuddled her against him.
//I couldn't sleep, I'm worried about Wes. I know, you guys have said I shouldn't worry, but I do.//
//Worrying won't help you tell him// sent Angel, as he kissed her cheek. //And blocking won't stop us from knowing that you're worried. We realized right away that you were gone and that you'd blocked us from your mind.//
//I'm sorry.//
//None of that,// Angel corrected her gently, raising her chin so she could meet his eyes. //We love you, Cordy, and we are always with you. You won't be alone when you talk to Wesley, even if we aren't in the room with you at the time.//
Angel glanced over at Doyle, who nodded. Cordelia was far too tense. She needed to get some more sleep before she spoke to Wesley, and they knew the best way of tiring her out so that she would sleep.
A little while later Cordelia fell asleep in her lovers' embrace, worn out by the intensity of the passion they had roused in her. Doyle slept too, with Cordelia snuggled against his chest.
Angel smiled at both of them, kissing them tenderly before trying to relax himself. The next few hours would be critical, but he knew one thing – he would stake himself before he would allow Penn to use Angelus to harm the two he loved most in the world.
