DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Three months later...
"Oh isn't he the most precious thing?" Tamelin Starr gushed excitedly, cooing at the baby in her arms.
Across the room, Keiran smiled proudly over her best friend's excitement. She and Tamelin had known each other for a few years, ever since the perky, dark-skinned young woman had first come to Corellia. They had hit it off right away, even though Tamelin was the total opposite of Keiran in looks as well as in personality. While Keiran was tall, graceful and blonde, Tamelin was shorter, with spongy black curls, and dark, chocolate-coloured skin. Keiran was more quiet and watchful, while Tamelin was outgoing and always bubbly. They always appreciated each other's company.
Keiran was visiting her friend for their daily gossip session, and as an added benefit, she got to show off her son. In the three months since she and Nils had brought Ben home, the little boy had changed their entire outlook on life.
"That he is," Keiran said, agreeing with Tamelin's earlier sentiment. "Even when he keeps us awake half the night," she added with a wry grin.
"You and Nils are so lucky," Tamelin sighed. "And you, little Ben, have the most wonderful mother and father in the whole galaxy."
Keiran laughed out loud. "I don't know about that one," she replied. "But I won't argue it if you insist." She watched her friend fondly as the other woman bent her dark head over Ben, making the little boy laugh.
"So, who's coming for dinner tonight?" Tamelin asked Keiran.
"Just you," Keiran replied. "Nils' brother couldn't make it."
"Well as soon as I was invited, I knew I couldn't refuse because I'm in love with this little man here," Tamelin responded, tickling Ben's tummy and making the baby gurgle. "I just can't get enough of him."
Keiran smiled again. She glanced out the living-room window, and her brow furrowed a little. "Tam? Are you expecting company?" she asked.
Tamelin's attention turned away from Ben to whatever it was that had caught her friend's eye. Coming up the walk to the front of Tamelin's house were two figures. Suddenly Tamelin gave an excited squeal.
"What is it?" Keiran asked in surprise, reaching out to take Ben from Tamelin's arms. She had a funny feeling all of a sudden, and she wanted to keep her son close.
"It's my brother!" Tamelin replied. "He was supposed to be here at the end of the week, but he's early!" She turned to Keiran and Keiran could not mistake the sparkle in Tamelin's eyes.
"So, I finally get to meet this elusive brother of yours?"
Tamelin nodded excitedly, rushing for the door. "I haven't seen him in so long, I almost forget what he looks like!" she half-joked.
Tamelin flung open the door and bounded down the steps towards her brother, throwing her arms around the grinning young man. Keiran followed, stopping at the door hesitantly. Her grip on Ben tightened a little. To Keiran, Tamelin's brother and the man with him both seemed dominating. She could tell, just from their confident stances, that they were used to being in control. It sent chills down her back.
"Keiran!" Tamelin called. "I'd like you to meet my brother."
Keiran stepped forward uncertainly, stopping in front of her friend and the two strangers.
"This is my best friend, Keiran Lars," Tamelin said to her brother. "Keiran, this is my brother, Mace Windu."
"Pleased to meet you," Keiran said, although she didn't really sound pleased to Mace's ears.
Mace smiled gently at her, inclining his head slightly in greeting. He was taller than both Keiran and Tamelin, but he had Tamelin's colouring. Keiran guessed that he must be in his early thirties. His head was shaved completely bald, and while his manner remained reserved, the look in his eyes was welcoming. Keiran tried to relax.
"And who is this with you?" Tamelin demanded, punching her brother lightly in the arm. "Not only do you show up early, but you bring strange people with you." Tamelin's grin belied the harshness of her words, and the warmth in Mace's eyes increased.
"Tamelin, Keiran, this is a good friend of mine, Qui-Gon Jinn," Mace said, indicating the man behind him.
Keiran took a moment to study the man. He was by far the tallest of their little group, and he appeared to be about the same age as Mace. His eyes were a deep blue and held the same confidence as Mace's, although Keiran had the odd feeling that there was a little more defiance in him than there was in Mace. His hair was neither short nor long, and the back was just starting to touch Qui-Gon's collar. He wore a long, plain brown robe, almost identical to the one that Mace wore. Keiran recalled that Tamelin's brother was a Jedi Knight, and she assumed, then, that Qui-Gon Jinn was a Jedi as well.
Qui-Gon bowed slightly to Keiran and Tamelin.
"Glad to meet you both," Qui-Gon said, his voice lilting slightly with a strange accent that neither woman recognized. "Tamelin, I have heard a lot about you from your brother. I'm glad I finally get to see how much of it is true." Of course, he added silently to himself, he left out how beautiful you are. He found himself both unable and unwilling to take his eyes off of her.
Tamelin laughed, liking her brother's friend immediately. There was something about him that was almost magnetic. Maybe it was the way he was looking at her. She glanced over at Keiran and was surprised to see a look of pure resistance on her friend's face. Keiran was usually quiet around strangers, but this was the first time that Tamelin had ever seen her look so hostile.
Keiran caught Tamelin looking at her and blushed a little. She was as surprised as Tamelin over her strange attitude toward the two Jedi. Part of her wanted to like them. There was something about them that she instinctively felt she could trust, and she suspected that she would like them if she gave them the chance. However, ever since Ben's birth, Keiran had found herself becoming irrationally wary around strangers. She couldn't quite explain why, but she felt the constant need to protect both him and herself from some unknown threat.
"And who is this?" Mace said to Keiran, pointing to the baby in her arms. He could sense Keiran's mysterious unease but was at a loss to explain it.
Keiran's eyes widened slightly and her grip on her son tightened a little. She had to consciously fight the urge to back away from the Jedi. "This is Ben," she said quietly.
Ben seemed not to notice the attitudes of the adults around him. He was happily bubbling to himself as he played with the edge of his blanket.
"Why don't we all go inside?" Tamelin asked, clapping her hands together once in delight. "I'm sure Keiran would be as interested in hearing some of your stories as I am," she prodded.
The two Jedi, Tamelin, and Keiran all headed into Tamelin's house, where she busied herself in the kitchen, trying to throw together some quick refreshments for her three guests. As she worked, she couldn't help wondering why the tall stranger who accompanied her brother was affecting her so profoundly. He was handsome, but that wasn't it. Tamelin had never been one of those silly girls whose head was turned by a pretty face. His affect on her was something else, something deeper. She finished with the refreshments and tried to push the unexpected thoughts aside.
Meanwhile, in the living-room, Keiran was left alone with Qui- Gon and Mace. The three of them kept up a steady stream of small talk while waiting for Tamelin.
"So, Tam tells me that you're Jedi," Keiran said. "I confess, I don't know much about your order, but it must be an exciting life."
"Jedi do not seek excitement," Mace said with an amused smile, "but excitement often seeks the Jedi."
Qui-Gon smirked at his friend's understatement. "It is a difficult life," he added, "but a worthy one."
"What does that mean?" Keiran asked, her curiosity peaked.
Qui-Gon shrugged slightly. "A Jedi's whole life is dedicated to his or her training and understanding of the Force, sometimes with the exclusion of all else."
"How long have you two been Jedi?" Keiran asked, not sure she understood exactly what Qui-Gon was telling her.
Mace and Qui-Gon shared an unreadable look and then Mace replied, "We have always been Jedi."
Keiran was surprised. It seemed so foreign for her to imagine that a child's whole future could be known before the child was even old enough to understand. She couldn't imagine Ben's life being all mapped out for him.
"Did you have to go to a special school?"
"Actually," Mace said, "we were raised at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. All Jedi are."
Keiran frowned slightly. She vaguely remembered Tamelin saying once how her brother had spent a lot of time away from home when he was growing up, but it was something that Tamelin had never really talked about and Keiran had been reluctant to ask about it.
"How old is your son?" Qui-Gon asked, trying to change the subject. He wasn't sure why, but he sensed that Keiran was becoming uneasy again. He attributed it to their discussion of the Jedi.
"Three months," Keiran replied abruptly. She suddenly realized how rude her abruptness must have sounded and felt contrite. "Would you like to hold him?" she asked hesitantly, wishing to make amends.
Qui-Gon's initial response was to say no. He wasn't always comfortable around babies, but something unnamed stopped him. "I would be honoured," he said instead. Keiran placed Ben, who was still chattering happily to himself, into Qui-Gon's arms.
All of a sudden, Ben's chatter stopped and the little boy turned his bright blue eyes on Qui-Gon. To Qui-Gon, it felt as though the baby was studying him or evaluating him, which was probably ridiculous since the child was only three months in age. But more disturbing than that, was the tingling sensation that Qui-Gon felt building in the back of his mind. There was something special about this boy. He could sense it. He could almost reach out and touch it.
"Hello there, little friend," Qui-Gon said softly to the child, almost mesmerized by the intensity of the boy's stare.
Breaking his eyes away from the baby, Qui-Gon glanced up to meet Mace's gaze. Mace was staring at Qui-Gon almost as intently as Ben had been. Neither Jedi needed words to convey their thoughts. Qui-Gon felt somewhat better knowing that Mace felt the same untapped power emanating from Ben that he did.
Keiran watched the two Jedi share a knowing look, and the peculiar way that Ben had reacted to being held by Qui- Gon. Her heart fluttered nervously and she was suddenly afraid.
"You're so quiet in here," Tamelin said to her guests, entering the room with a big smile. Keiran reached out and all but snatched Ben away from Qui-Gon. For a moment, the little boy's eyes stayed fixed on Qui-Gon and then he turned to his mother and began to whimper.
Keiran tried to soothe the baby before his whimpers turned into full-blown howls while Tamelin passed around the drinks that she had brought with her.
Mace cleared his throat. "Keiran," he said softly, "when Ben was born, was he given any... tests?"
Keiran looked from one Jedi to the other, not liking the way that they were regarding her. In their gazes she read a mix of both sympathy and sudden insight.
"Just the usual tests," she replied, her forehead creasing with an apprehensive frown.
"What's going on?" Tamelin asked with a forced smile, trying to lighten the mood. She glanced from her brother to her friend and felt as though invisible lines were slowly being drawn between them. She shivered uneasily, not wanting to be standing on a line between two people that she loved so much.
Mace took a deep breath and figured it would be best to just come straight to the point. "Keiran, would you allow us to take a quick blood sample from Ben?"
Keiran's face turned an odd shade of white. "Blood sample? Why?!" she demanded in a hoarse whisper. "There is nothing wrong with him!"
"No, there is nothing wrong with your child," Mace replied, "but we think he might have a gift... the gift of hearing the Force."
Keiran looked from one Jedi to the other. They were serious. They really thought that Ben had some special power. Keiran's first impulse was to deny them their request. Her son was special, but he was no Jedi. He was just a normal little boy and she wanted to keep him that way. However, something stopped her before she said no. She couldn't explain why, but she had a niggling doubt in the back of her mind that she didn't think would let her rest until she consented to the Jedi's test.
"You won't hurt him, will you?" Keiran inquired.
"He will be fine," Mace replied solemnly.
"And when you run this test and see that he's just a normal baby, you'll drop this?" Keiran continued, glaring at the Jedi.
Mace and Qui-Gon shared a look. "If we're wrong, and he is just an average child, then yes, it will not be mentioned again," Mace assured her.
Keiran glanced over at Tamelin for support. Tamelin still looked a little confused, but Keiran could tell that her trust in her brother was absolute. Tamelin's support helped Keiran make up her mind. "All right," she said at last.
Mace reached into the pouch that he wore attached to the belt on his waist and pulled out a small device. He came over to where Keiran was holding tightly onto Ben and pressed the device against Ben's arm. There was a slight hissing sound and the tool drew a touch of blood from the baby's arm. Ben whimpered a little but did not cry. As quick as that, it was over.
The two Jedi Knights waited patiently as the device analyzed the baby's blood. There was a stifling silence in the room as the machine worked. A few heartbeats later, a beep indicated that the analysis was done and Mace and Qui- Gon both looked over to view the results.
Keiran held her breath when the two Jedi turned to her, trying to ignore all the times over the last three months when she'd felt that Ben was somehow different.
"You see?" she said.
"Keiran," Mace said softly, "Ben's midichlorian count is very high."
Qui-Gon nodded in amazement. "Even higher than both of ours," he said, indicating himself and Mace.
"What does that mean?" Tamelin asked. Keiran felt her heart flutter nervously.
"It means," Mace said, "that the boy is one of us."
"A Jedi?!" Tamelin gasped.
Mace nodded at his sister. "If he were properly trained, yes, he would be a Jedi. Right now he is just a Force- sensitive individual with no training."
"Wait a minute," Keiran said sharply, shaking her head in quick denial. "You must be wrong."
Qui-Gon shook his head. "There is no mistake. Keiran, your son has a great gift... an untapped power. He should be taught how to use it. How to control it," he persuaded, locking eyes with Keiran. Qui-Gon's almost passionate belief held her mesmerized for a few long moments.
"What would that involve?" Keiran asked, involuntarily moved by Qui-Gon's conviction.
There was a heavy silence. Keiran realized with increasing certainty that she would not like the answer. She recalled Mace's words from a few short minutes ago, explaining how he and Qui-Gon had both been raised at the Jedi Temple. With a suffocating feeling of dread, she knew where this was going.
"He would have to be raised on Coruscant, at the Jedi Temple with the others like him," Mace replied calmly.
Keiran's jaw dropped. "You want to take my son away, to some distant planet?" She shot a wild look to Tamelin, whose eyes were also wide with shock. Instinctively, Keiran hugged Ben closer before turning her attention back to Mace. "No! I won't allow it!"
"Keiran," Qui-Gon said sympathetically, "your son will have this talent whether or not he is trained. But without this training, it will always be a mystery to him. All his life he will have to deal with having a power that he does not understand. Would you have him live with that confusion?"
Keiran felt sudden tears welling up in her eyes. When he said it like that, it made her sound like a terrible person for denying Ben his birthright. But something stronger than duty and honour told her she didn't care. He was her baby. They hadn't said so yet, but she knew that if she gave in and let them take Ben, then she would no longer be his mother. The Jedi would become his family and she and Nils would just be a distant memory. That is, if he had the ability to remember them at all.
"I will not lose my son," she said vehemently. "And my husband will agree with me."
Qui-Gon and Mace did not reply. They had both been in this situation before. In fact, more often than not, the parents of a Jedi child reacted this way at first. But, given time to let the idea sink in and the shock wear off, they usually changed their minds and realized what they would be denying the child. However, Keiran was different than most parents that Mace had encountered. Her connection to Ben ran very deep, and he wasn't sure she would be able to sever that connection. Mace glanced at Qui-Gon, who was thinking the same thing.
"It is, of course, your decision," Mace said. "All we ask is that you give it careful consideration."
Keiran didn't reply. "I have to be getting home now," she said instead.
Tamelin walked her friend to the door. She felt like crying over the pain she could see in Keiran's eyes. On the one hand, she agreed with her. She could remember the stories her parents told of the time when Mace had been taken from her family. She had not yet been born when the Jedi had claimed him, but she remembered the loss that her parents had lived with. When Mace had been about thirteen or fourteen, he had been told about his real family and was allowed to meet them. She had known that she had a brother, but she had never met him and it had been very awkward to adjust to having him in her life.
Yet, on the other hand, she agreed with Mace and Qui- Gon. Her brother would not be her brother without the power that made him a Jedi, and she would never dream of denying him that part of himself.
Tamelin gave Keiran a supportive hug. "Whatever you decide," she said, "I'll always stand behind you."
Keiran didn't answer, but was grateful for the support. "I'll talk to you later."
Keiran practically ran from Tamelin's house to her own home, needing to get as far away from the Jedi as possible. Instead of using the front door as she normally would have, she went around to the side door, which served as the entrance to Nils' office.
Nils Lars looked up in surprise as his wife entered. "What a nice surprise," he said with a delighted smile. Rising, he made his way from behind his desk, kissing Keiran's flushed cheek and then the top of Ben's soft, downy head which had the same colour hair as his mother's. "Are you okay?" Nils asked suddenly in concern, noticing his wife's pinched face.
"Oh, Nils, they want to take Ben from us!" Keiran gushed, tears filling her eyes.
"They who, sweetheart?" Nils asked in confusion, feeling a sudden twist in his gut.
Keiran could not answer. She had seated herself on the couch in Nils' office and had begun crying in earnest. Ben joined in, in his own baby way of detecting the stress that his mother was under.
Nils sat down next to his wife and took Ben from her, trying to comfort both at the same time. Ben was the first to calm and Nils was able to rouse his wife enough to take her into the living portion of the house. Placing Ben in his crib for a long- overdue nap, he turned his full attention to his wife.
"Sweetheart, if you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't help." He wrapped both arms around her, trying to protect her against whatever unknown evil was hurting her.
After a few more moments, Keiran was able to come to a sniffling stop. The pain in her eyes reached Nils' heart. "Who wants to take Ben away, Keiran?" he asked slowly.
"The Jedi," she replied in a shaky voice.
Nils took a moment to think, trying to control his shock. Jedi did not normally go around randomly taking children from their parents. Granted, he had heard that the Jedi Order did accept specially gifted children into their ranks, but... a tingle ran up Nils' back as a dim memory tried to resurface. "Jedi?"
"Tamelin's brother and his friend. They took a sample of Ben's blood and said he had a high count of something..." Keiran could not finish as tears were beginning to form again.
Nils frowned slightly. He vaguely remembered that Tamelin had mentioned that her brother would be visiting and that he was a Jedi Knight. He fervently hoped that this was the dim memory that was nagging at him. "Maybe I should speak with these men."
Keiran's blonde head snapped up to look into the soft brown eyes of her husband. "I don't know about that, Nils," she replied hesitantly. She was silent for a few moments as a hundred thoughts drifted through her mind, and then she suddenly changed her mind. "Yes," she said. "Maybe that would be good. Then you can tell them to take their midi- whatever-count and go home!"
Nils' brow furrowed at the expression on Keiran's face. "Sweetheart, one cannot be rude to a single Jedi, let alone two." He sighed and sat back, pulling Keiran into his arms and stroking her hair. They stayed that way for nearly an hour before they were interrupted by the cry of a hungry baby boy upstairs.
As Keiran went to Ben, Nils sat alone in his office. His mind kept wandering back to the inconceivable notion that the Jedi wanted his son. The whole thing was so unreal. Nils knew all of the legends about the Jedi; ever since he was a child, he had been told story after story. In his mind, he started going over some of the tales that he had been told. So much of it seemed unbelievable and almost fictional to him. With a start, he realized that there were very few actual facts that he knew about the Jedi. His knowledge base was nothing more than legends. Finally, he decided that the only way he would get any peace of mind would be to do a little checking on the Jedi Order.
A short time later, Nils turned away from his research, impressed with what he'd found, but still experiencing the feeling of unreality about this whole situation. The nagging memory that had bothered him earlier was still in the back of his mind, and it seemed to be growing stronger. He left his office and found Keiran with Ben in her arms, rocking the baby back to sleep. He smiled at them as he leaned over and watched his son's little blue eyes blink as he tried to fight the nap, until finally they closed in sleep.
"Didn't you invite Tamelin over for dinner tonight?" Nils asked as Keiran placed Ben in his crib.
"I forgot," Keiran replied as she headed for the kitchen and then paused. "But she has guests now," she added, almost as an afterthought, a look of stubbornness crossing her features.
Nils gave her a look that stopped whatever argument was about to escape her lips. "I need to talk with these men, Keiran," he said softly yet firmly. He shook his head when he saw that she was about to object. "Sweetheart, please, it's not their fault." That dim memory that had been plaguing Nils started nagging at him again.
Keiran fought down the panic that threatened her and nodded her head at Nils. Her heart was beating rapidly. She knew that this was not going to turn out well, but she felt so helplessly out of control. She didn't think she could stop it.
"I'll call and let Tamelin know that she and her guests are welcome, unless they've made other plans," she said, swallowing hard.
"I'll do it," Nils replied knowing it would not be easy for her to face the Jedi again, and knowing that she would need some time to prepare herself before they arrived.
Keiran winced as Nils turned away from her. Something told her that things would never be the same again.
Meanwhile, at Tamelin's house, there was only silence as Keiran escaped from her friend's home. Qui-Gon sighed with unexpected disappointment. For some reason, he couldn't help feeling a tiny sense of loss as he watched Keiran go, taking the boy with her. He tried to ignore it, rising and crossing the room to look out a window.
Tamelin turned from the door and looked into her brother's eyes. She saw a sadness there that she had never witnessed before. She crossed her arms and shivered, feeling torn between Keiran's pain and her brother's sadness. "She's scared," Tamelin said, giving her brother an accusatory glance.
"I know," Mace's deep voice answered, sighing sadly over Tamelin's glare.
"They waited so long for Ben," Tamelin tried to explain.
Mace closed his dark brown eyes in concentration and then said, "There will be others."
"But not Ben!" Tamelin said, a bit more harshly than she had intended.
Qui-Gon turned from the window. "No, not Ben. You are right Tamelin. Any other children that they have will not be replacements for Ben, just as you were not a replacement for Mace to your parents. But do you think that your parents would change any of it now? We just came from visiting them. They are proud of their son." Qui-Gon stared at her for a moment, and a flicker of an old pain intensified his blue eyes. "At least he has parents to visit, as will Ben. I have no one to go home to. My parents could not handle the changes that they saw in me; the same changes that will eventually occur in Ben. They abandoned me in fear," he explained, shocked over his need to tell her such a personal thing. He never talked about his past and couldn't explain why he needed to make Tamelin understand.
Tamelin blinked back a tear, trying hard not to let Qui- Gon's sorrow touch her heart. It only made him seem more human to her. Right now, she did not want to see him as human; she wanted him to remain a shadowy enemy. If she let him get to her, if she let him reach her heart, she knew she wouldn't be able to sustain her anger at him. In her mind, she knew that Nils and Keiran would never abandon Ben, but she also knew that fear caused the best of people to sometimes behave in the worst of ways. "You're right, Qui-Gon," she reluctantly replied. "Our parents are fiercely proud of Mace," Tamelin added, choosing not to acknowledge his comment about his own parents. "I've heard them say many times that they would do it all over again. Mace has done so much."
The comm centre suddenly beeped, indicating that someone was calling Tamelin. She crossed the room to stand in front of the comm centre, relieved to escape from Qui-Gon's intense gaze. "Yes?" she answered.
"Tam, it's Nils. You got visual?" came the voice from the centre.
"Hi Nils," Tamelin replied, activating the screen. Nils Lars' face appeared before her eyes.
"How are you?" Nils asked, an almost imperceptible strain around the corners of his eyes.
"Fine, and Keiran?"
"She's cooking for an army," Nils responded, avoiding the answer that Tamelin really wanted. "Are you still coming over? Your brother and his friend are welcome, of course, unless you have already made other plans."
Mace and Qui-Gon exchanged surprised glances, each knowing that it was an unexpected gift to have the chance to talk to Ben's father.
After a quick look at Mace for confirmation, Tamelin told Nils when to expect them and the trio headed to the Lars home.
Tamelin, Mace, and Qui-Gon arrived at the Lars' home twenty minutes later, right on schedule. As Qui-Gon crossed the threshold of the Lars residence, his step faltered. The odd sense of loss that he had been experiencing ever since Keiran left with Ben suddenly disappeared. He looked at Mace only to receive an unreadable look from his friend. As they entered the house, Tamelin introduced the two men to Nils, who was waiting for them. He eyed the two large men, sizing them up. Suddenly, the nagging memory that had been bothering him came to light as he felt the same, inexplicable thing emanating from these two men that he had felt from Ben just after the baby's birth. He felt his throat go dry.
That evening, talk around the dinner table centred both on some of the missions that the two Jedi had been on and Nils' business. Nils purposely asked the two Jedi questions about their lives, hoping to gain an understanding of the kind of life that his son might have. The two women remained strangely silent. Keiran was silent because her mind was still occupied with the worry that she could lose the son that she had waited so long for. Besides, listening to the Jedi talk about the constant demands placed on them and the dangers that they had faced was only making her worry more. She didn't want her son to have such a hard life, even if the Jedi claimed it was well worth it.
Tamelin, on the other hand, was just plain speechless as she listened to Mace and Qui-Gon talk. She had never heard her brother speak so openly or frankly about his life before. Listening to him now, she began to suspect that he had never told her all the details because he didn't want her to worry over him. She also knew that he didn't really enjoy talking about such personal events with other people. Even now, he didn't particularly like telling these stories to Nils and Keiran, but he felt he owed them the unedited truth if they were expected to make a decision about their son's life.
While the adults discussed his future, baby Ben slept throughout the entire dinner. When he did wake, he was content to play with his pudgy little toes, which he had managed to free from the blankets.
At the table, Qui-Gon felt a strange tingle in the back of his mind as he sensed the baby wake. There was something so unique about the boy that it almost scared him. Unable to focus his mind on the conversation around him, he excused himself from the table. Without even consciously thinking about it, he ventured into Ben's room, as if he knew the layout of the home.
Towering over the crib he leaned over to look into Ben's blue eyes. The baby locked his gaze on the Jedi and cooed softly. With a sense of bewilderment, Qui-Gon realized that he didn't feel the normal apprehension around Ben that babies usually caused in him. Slowly, he reached over and lifted the boy out of the crib.
In the dining room, Keiran shivered. Instinctively she rose, feeling a sudden driving need to go to her son. Mace reached out to stop her by gently grasping her arm. He slowly shook his head, knowing without any words being spoken what she was thinking. Keiran sought her husband's face. Nils too shook his head and said, "Leave him, Keiran."
"It is for the best, Keiran," Mace added. "There seems to be some odd link between the two. I cannot explain it."
Keiran felt her knees weaken. Fearing she would hit the floor if she didn't sit down soon, she slowly sank back into her seat. Her eyes focussed briefly on each person sitting at the table, but she couldn't bear the looks in their eyes.
Before anyone could speak, Qui-Gon returned to the dining room with Ben resting quietly in his arms. He placed the baby into his mother's arms, saying, "I think someone may be hungry." A gentle smile played across the man's face as he looked into Keiran's eyes, trying to help ease the pain he saw there.
Keiran all but snatched Ben away from Qui-Gon, feeling herself panicking over seeing her son resting so comfortably in the Jedi's arms. This was all moving too fast. She needed time to think. Keiran turned her eyes away from Qui-Gon and focussed on the baby in her arms. "It's all right, sweetheart," she whispered brokenly to the child. "I'll protect you."
"Keiran..." Qui-Gon began, placing a hand on Keiran's shoulder.
Keiran sprang out of her chair as if she'd been burned. "Don't touch me!" she cried. She turned her angry gaze away from Qui-Gon and over to Mace. "It was a mistake for you to come here! I can't deal with this anymore!" she said, feeling a sob rising in her chest.
Nils went to his wife and pulled her into his arms. Keiran hid her face in his shoulder, unable to look at the Jedi any longer. Nils felt her trembling and knew she was very close to losing her control completely.
"I'm sorry," Nils said to the Jedi, trying not to be angry at them but failing miserably. "I think you should go."
"Nils..." Tamelin began.
"Please Tam!" Nils nearly shouted, feeling himself also coming dangerously close to losing his calm.
"A choice must be made," Mace said, almost apologetically.
Keiran lifted her face to glower at the Jedi again. "You can't have my son!" she cried.
Tamelin reached out to grab her brother's arm. "We have to go," she said with steel in her voice. She knew Keiran well enough to know that now was not the time to pressure her on this issue. She turned to Qui-Gon, who didn't look ready to give in yet. "We're leaving, Qui-Gon."
Mace rose from the table and tilted his head forward in a respectful bow to Keiran and Nils. "Thank you for the dinner," he said simply, turning and walking away.
Qui-Gon stood immobilized for a few moments, staring at Nils, Keiran and Ben. Finally, he gave them the same bow that Mace had just demonstrated. "You know where to find us if you need to speak to us again," he said. However, from the stony expressions on their faces, Qui-Gon couldn't help feeling that he would probably never hear from Keiran and Nils again.
As Qui-Gon left, Tamelin glanced over at her friends. "I'm so sorry," she said to them. Nils just nodded in return and Tamelin followed her brother and Qui-Gon out.
As Mace, Qui-Gon, and Tamelin left the Lars home, Tamelin hugged her brother's arm. Even though the evening had ended badly, all of the discussion about Mace's and Qui-Gon's lives had been enlightening for her. She had learned many things about her brother that she hadn't known, making it difficult for her to stay angry at him. It made her to want to keep him close as they made their way through the streets to her home.
Qui-Gon was silent, feeling the odd sense of loss again. He shook his head and his shoulders slumped a little. "They are going to say no," he said sadly.
"You do not know that for sure, my friend. The Force works in mysterious ways at times. You know that as well as I do," Mace said.
"We leave tomorrow, Mace. There is no time for them to change their minds."
Mace wisely said nothing, sensing Qui-Gon's stubborn streak settling in. If Qui-Gon wanted to be melancholy, Mace knew that there was nothing he could say to change the man's mind, and he didn't feel like arguing with his long time friend at the moment. Besides, Tamelin's grip on his arm tightened abruptly, pulling his thoughts away from Qui- Gon.
"You're leaving tomorrow?" she said. "But you came earlier than you were supposed to. I thought we had a week," Tamelin cried.
"I'm sorry, Tam," Mace replied sincerely. "We are needed elsewhere."
As their guests left, Keiran and Nils stood in silence, both dreading the discussion that they knew was facing them. "I don't want to talk about this, Nils," Keiran said as she pulled away from her husband, avoiding eye-contact and retreating up the stairs to Ben's room. "I have to feed Ben," she called over her shoulder as she disappeared around the corner.
Nils sighed as he watched his wife escape with their son. He put his hands in his pockets and began pacing the floor as he went over the conversation they'd had earlier with the Jedi. Mace and Qui-Gon had used their words sparingly, but everything that they'd said had been so full of conviction that Nils had felt almost able to reach out and touch their certainty. They truly believed that Ben's future was destined to lie with them. Reluctantly, Nils had to admit to himself that he didn't understand everything the Jedi had said about this mystical Force of theirs. He probably couldn't have understood it all, even if he'd wanted to. That thought bothered him more than he wanted to admit. If he couldn't comprehend the type of gift that his son had, then how would he be able to help Ben deal with it as the boy grew up?
Before Nils even realized it, almost an hour had passed. Keiran came down and found him staring at her with an expression that she did not like. She had the sinking feeling that Nils was seriously thinking about sending Ben away with the Jedi. "I don't want to lose our baby, Nils," she said, trying to control her alarm. "He's ours."
"I know that, sweetheart," Nils replied, taking her in his arms, "but..."
"No!" Keiran cried angrily, pushing away from her husband. She couldn't believe that Nils was against her, too. "No buts! I don't want to hear anymore!"
Nils watched with sorrow as she turned away from him. "Keiran, please. You have to admit that Ben is different. Remember when he was born? We both felt it... whatever 'it' was. Don't try to deny it," he argued, as Keiran crossed her arms and stubbornly ignored him. "Couldn't you feel the same thing from those men?" He placed a large hand on Keiran's shoulder and turned her to face him.
She quickly looked at the floor as her tearful blue eyes met Nils' sorrowful gaze. The anguished mother could not face the equally anguished father. She could not dispute the feeling that they had both felt when Ben had been placed in Keiran's arms, shortly after his birth. Nor could she deny that she had felt the same thing coming from the Jedi.
Nils again pulled her into his arms, letting her weep on his shoulder. This time she did not resist. A few long moments later, Keiran had composed herself and she disentangled herself from Nils. "Are you ready to discuss this?" he asked softly.
"No, but I guess I have no choice," she answered honestly.
Glad that she was finally willing to listen to him, Nils put his own grief aside and took a deep breath. "It's not easy to say this," he began, "but I think we've got to step back and look at what's best for our son."
Keiran gasped in disbelief, her eyes going wide. "Best for our son?" she repeated incredulously. "The best thing for our son is being with the people that love him."
"There's no disputing the fact that we love him," Nils said, "but sometimes loving someone means letting them go." Nils paused, nearly faltering over the difficult words. "The Jedi can give him something that we can't, Keiran. I hate it more than I've ever hated anything in my life, but it's true! They share something with him that we could never possibly understand!" he continued, his voice rising as his frustration came bubbling to the surface.
"We are his parents, Nils!" Keiran shot back abruptly. "What about all the things that we can give him that the Jedi can't? They can't love him like we do. They can't just replace us!"
Nils softened his voice. "Sweetheart, I don't think the Jedi want to replace us," he said, pausing to let Keiran cool down a little bit. "Besides, I can't explain how I know it, but I don't think Ben will ever be neglected by the Jedi. True, they won't be his parents, but I think they'll truly care for him."
Keiran said nothing. She didn't want to admit that there was anything important that she and Nils could not provide for Ben, but deep in her heart, she knew it was true. Not being able to understand the Force did not seem like such a terrible thing to her, but she knew deep down that it would be terrible to her son.
"If... if he did go," Keiran whispered, her voice almost unheard by Nils, "he would probably forget us. We'd be strangers to him," she added, closing her eyes against the pain. "I don't think I could bear that."
"He won't forget us," Nils said firmly. "In his heart, he will always know us."
Keiran looked doubtful, so Nils continued, "Ben is our son," he said adamantly, "and he always will be, no matter where he goes or what he does. Besides, we've already been seeing tiny changes in him. Neither of us have wanted to admit it, but we can't stop change, Keiran."
A cry from the top of the stairs prevented Keiran from having to answer. "I'll go to him," Keiran said numbly, running back up the stairs.
Keiran changed Ben into a dry diaper and then sat with him in the rocking chair. She stared down at the tiny face that was so similar to her own. Ben cooed and then yawned up at her, making her smile sadly. She would miss this. As the little boy drifted off to sleep, she placed him back into his crib and enjoyed watching him sleep. Her mind awhirl, she watched the chubby cheeks dimple and smooth as Ben dreamed of unknown things. Tears streamed from her eyes as she observed her beloved baby boy.
Early the next morning, Keiran came down the stairs holding Ben close, with a travel bag slung over her shoulder. She found Nils pacing the floor again and knew that he had hardly slept. After their initial discussion the night before, they hadn't said much else about the Jedi. They had just sat quietly with their son, taking comfort from each other's company.
"We have to go. They'll be leaving soon," Keiran said as she stepped from the bottom stair. The calm with which she spoke covered the turmoil that she felt inside.
Nils looked up in surprise as she spoke. He had no idea whether to be relieved or upset. "Are you sure, Keiran?" he asked breathlessly. Before she could answer he went on, "You know I think it would be best for Ben to be trained to use his gift, but..."
"I'm sure, Nils," she said quickly. "Let's just go before I change my mind," she added, her voice weary and full of sadness.
The same morning, Tamelin took the two Jedi to their transport with a heavy heart. Not only was she feeling the loss of her brother, but as her anger at the two Jedi had begun to subside, those earlier, confusing feelings that she had experienced upon meeting his friend had returned. Worse yet, the feelings were even more intense than before. She wanted desperately to say something to him about it, even if it would make him think she was crazy, but could not bring herself to. More than likely she would never see the handsome Jedi again.
Qui-Gon wasn't surprised that they had heard no word from the Larses. He again felt the sense of loss that stabbed at him every time he thought about leaving Corellia without the baby in tow. The feeling seemed to be intensifying the closer that they got to the transport, nearly crushing him. At the docking bay, he gave a small smile and a farewell wave to Tamelin, regretting that their first meeting had been so full of tension. Then, he retreated to his and Mace's assigned quarters aboard the transport to meditate, hoping to rid himself of the unwelcome feelings.
Mace watched the retreating form of his friend with a sympathetic shake of his head. He didn't pretend to understand this sudden bond that Qui-Gon seemed to feel with the boy, but he knew Qui-Gon well, and had rarely seen the man become so attached in such a short time. Dismissing the thoughts from his head, he turned for one final hug from his sister after Qui-Gon had disappeared into the ship. "I'll see you again," he said, bending to kiss her forehead in farewell. He too entered the ship. Knowing that his friend needed to be alone, he purposely avoided the cramped quarters that he and Qui-Gon would share; instead, he went to tell the captain that they were aboard and were ready to go.
However, before he made it to the cockpit, Mace could hear his name being called from outside the slowly closing ramp. He turned to stop the ramp and looked out through the gap that still remained. He immediately recognized the person calling his name, and he activated the opening sequence without hesitation. The ramp slowly began to lower. When there was a big enough opening for him to fit through, he exited the ship.
Outside on the landing platform, Keiran Lars stood holding Ben, tears streaming down her cheeks. Nils' arms encircled both his wife and son. A small travel bag sat in front of them, packed with all of Ben's belongings and more than enough supplies for the two day trip to Coruscant.
Nils cleared his constricted throat and said, "We talked last night and decided that the best thing for Ben would be for him to be with those who share his gift." He turned to face Keiran, looking into her pained eyes. He tried to remain strong as he started to lift Ben from her arms.
Keiran tightened her grip on the baby and whispered, "Wait." She ran a pale hand over the soft blond hair and down the chubby cheek. "You be a good student, Ben," she whispered to the child. "Learn well and please..." she paused, choking on the words, "... please, always remember that Mother loves you more than anything." She kissed each of his tiny fists, his chubby cheeks, his nose and forehead, and then reluctantly released him to his father. She turned away and into Tamelin's waiting arms, unable to watch her son being carried into the ship and out of her life. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and began to sob.
Nils tried to block out the sound of his wife's heart- wrenching sobs. It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He hugged Ben to his chest, kissing the boy's downy head and then silently he handed him over to Mace Windu. Mace took the boy without a word, putting one hand on Nils' shoulder and squeezing gently. Then, he lifted the bag from the ground and reentered the ship.
Keiran turned from her friend's embrace when she heard the metallic clang of the ramp closing and the repulsorlifts engaging as the ship readied for take off. She sank to her knees as the ship lifted and then disappeared into the sky above as her baby flew away with two relative strangers. Nils lifted her from the ground and carried her to their speeder. It was done.
Inside the ship, Mace carried the baby to the closed door of the quarters that he was to share with Qui-Gon, and now Ben. He tapped the chime. When there was no answer, he knew that Qui-Gon was either asleep or deep in meditation. He entered the room to find his friend sitting cross-legged on the floor, eyes closed with a sense of peace engulfing him. He quietly crossed the floor to place Ben's bag in the closet, feeling the shift in Qui-Gon's consciousness as the other Jedi came out of his meditation. Before a word could be spoken, Mace said, "I have something for you." He turned and crossed the room, placing Ben in Qui-Gon's arms and then left the two alone.
Qui-Gon sat in the middle of the floor, hardly able to believe that which was right in front of him. The sense of loss disappeared from his being. Holding the cooing baby in his arms, he nearly cried over the sacrifice that the Larses had made. Their loss had to be a hundred times what he'd been feeling. He reached out tentatively with the Force, trying to touch the baby's mind. A tiny part of Ben's future flashed through his mind and he gazed down at the boy with an amused half-smile. "Well, Padawan," he said to the boy, "nice to meet you."