DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Ha’run paced the corridor with the all the prowess of her feline species. Her red mane flowed over her soft fur, both of which gleamed in the low light. The short nails of her paws clicked on the metal gratings, the noise almost constant. The speed of her steps was indicative of her agitation. With another forceful turn, she swung around to face the door of her combined rooms with her apprentice. Her yellow eyes centered on the form that was lying in the dark. The small humanoid form was curled in the sheets, her back arched in pain.
Ha’run clicked her tongue. The pain, she was sure, was not in a physical state. Her apprentice had come back from healing Qui-Gon Jinn with no injuries. Larina had been quite well, in fact, when she had reemerged from the cliff with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. She had appeared even more well when Ha’run had pronounced that the wound was healed. The trip back to the transport after the ruffians had been rounded up and disposed of had been uneventful. So had the liftoff. Everything had been peaceful and well carried out. And now that they were in space, the distress seemed acute and sudden.
But this….
Ha’run watched as the woman in her charge arched her back again, bowing slightly toward the ceiling. The woman’s long red hair tangled with the stark white of the standard issue sheets. The elder Jedi healer could see the sheen of sweat covering her younger student’s face and upper arms. The muscles in her legs were tense-- achingly so, pressing the hips upwards. From all physical signs, the pain was incredible. However, the apprentice remained unconscious. Ha’run ran her pointed tongue over her lips. The pain was definitely mental. Or psychological.
A small whimper from inside the bedchamber spurred the feline into action. The light tan of her robe melded with the metal floor as she swept into the room. Ha’run stopped at the head of the bed and laid her paw on Larina’s brow. The tempest of pain that the girl was in faded a little, but the pain was still there. The Jedi healer closed her eyes and concentrated, digging, sifting through the images in the woman’s mind.
With a frown, she opened her eyes slowly. “Larina,” she growled, her voice catching on the Basic syllables with ease.
Larina opened her eyes immediately, but remained reclined on the bed. Ha’ run nodded at the remnant of the Jedi padawan training that the woman had left years before; Larina always knew when trouble was about and when all was safe. “Yes, Master?”
“Your pain is great.” It was not a question, but rather a statement.
“Yes, Master.” Larina answered, her black eyes fixed on the bed covers.
“I cannot determine the source, my charge…it seems to be all through your psyche. Examine yourself. Show me what you find.” Ha’run sat on the bed next to the apprentice and laid her paw on her stomach. Larina nodded her agreement and settled into a light trance, holding her Master’s digits tightly.
Larina was at wits end within her own mind. She had been most of the time that the Jedi landing party was on the ship. Her report to Mace Windu in the conference room had been the beginning of the feeling of unease, which escalated as the time wore on. Now, the feeling was one of overwhelming panic and of disseminated pain. Even her eyes hurt. She linked with her Master and pulled the Triarian into her trance. Settling into the healing trance, Larina danced along her own mind connections, leading the older Jedi down her mental paths. Although she did not know the exact location of her injury or illness, the apprentice knew that the pain was emanating from this center. She felt a slightly different center to her connection to the Force.
“As I thought,” Ha’run’s low voice permeated Larina’s trance and the woman came back to the surroundings quickly, “it is mental and psychological, my apprentice.”
“Then it is easy to heal, or easy to bypass.” Larina answered, shifting her legs as another sweep of pain crossed her. A new layer of sweat broke out on her skin as she fought to control the agony.
“It is neither.” Ha’run rose and paced to the door, grabbing her charge’s cloak. Returning to the bed, she held out the garment. “Put this on, Larina. I must take you to Masters Jinn and Windu immediately. Only in their presence can we sort this out.”
The human moved to obey her Master, only slightly slower than usual due to the torrent of pain in her limbs. As she completed her dressing, an explosion of pain occurred in her mind, causing her to grab her head. It was only by the intercession of her Master that the woman was stopped from tearing her own hair out. Gasping, she raised her face to her friend and teacher. “What is happening to me?”
Ha’run grasped the girl by the arm and helped her to her feet and out the door. She grimaced as the woman, usually fighting for independence, clung to her arm for help to remain upright and moving. Larina was near tears as her Master led her down the corridors. The pain in moving was incredible- at least ten fold that of the stationary level. She was completely ignorant of her personal appearance. And a sight she did make-- clinging to her friend, her cloak haphazardly thrown over her shoulders, her hair unbound and falling to her legs, and her skin pale and pasty.
All of these things had her mentor wary of the state that the woman is in. Normally, although not vain, the girl took time in her appearance, worrying over most details. That she was stumbling down the hall looking like a waif was not a good sign.
Turning the last corner, Ha’run hit a door mechanism and the door directly ahead of them flew open. The three Jedi within were momentarily startled at the sudden entrance. Obi-Wan stood abruptly, his hand going to his waist. He relaxed immediately, dropping his arm and smiling at the two healers. Mace Windu and Qui-Gon were easier in their reactions. Mace remained seated, leaning back in his chair, an easy grin on his dark features. Qui-Gon was leaning over a cup of tea brewed by Ha’run earlier to replace his strength.
“Sit down, Padawan Kenobi.” Windu sounded, moving a hand to wave at the young apprentice. “I think we will not be attacked by these two. Please, come in, Ha’run.” His easy grin was replaced by a frown when he both felt and saw the state that the younger Jedi was in. “What has happened?”
Standing, he moved to help the girl into a chair. The human fell forward onto the table, her arms flailing out to stop her movement. Ha’run moved next to Larina, supporting her side as the woman raised her head to stare at both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan’s mouth, usually mobile and framed with thick lips, was hanging open in shock. His green eyes swept over her face and he grimaced at the pain he saw there.
Qui-Gon removed his hands from the tea with equal shock. His hair had been cleaned since the cliff and retied back, and his face and skin had been scrubbed clear of the blood that had coated him. He rose to join Mace in lending support to the woman. “What is going on?” he demanded, moving to hold the girl’s arm.
Ha’run watched her charge’s pain lessen its grip as the Qui-Gon grasped at the girl’s arm. Larina turned her head to look to her acquaintance, her face relaxing almost of its own volition. The Master healer grimaced. She had expected Obi-Wan to be at the source of this problem and was disturbed to find that Master Jinn was instead the cause. She laid her hand on Larina’s shoulder and met Mace’s eyes. “An unrequited soul bonding, I’m afraid.”
Larina started at the mention of the bonding. “That’s not possible,” she blurted out, turning slightly.
Ha’run continued, turning to address the other Jedi Master. “And, Qui-Gon, old friend, it appears to be with you.”
Qui-Gon dropped his hand from the girl’s arm and rose to face his friend. “Ha’run….”
“Master….this isn’t possible.” Larina gritted her teeth as the pain swept through her mind again. “A soul bond only occurs…” she faded off, holding her head with a shaky hand. She couldn’t even think straight.
Qui-Gon took pity on the girl and knelt next to her again. He reached out and stroked the woman’s hand with his thumb in an effort to establish a connection. “I agree, Ha’run, it is impossible. A soul bonding can only occur when there is extreme affection or love between two beings. I am fond of and value Larina, but it is not love.”
Larina relaxed into the rhythmic stroking at her hand. She nodded in agreement. “If what you say is true, Master, how could it have happened?”
Ha’run sighed, moving her hand to cup her pupil’s chin. Turning the face toward hers, she met the black-eyed gaze with her own. Larina was a steady student with a desire to learn the ways of a healer, as she had been years ago when she learned the ways of a Knight. But as she had been in the path of a Knight, unable to complete the tasks through a difference in purpose, so, feared her Master, would be her venture on this path of a healer. Larina had forgotten a prime rule in her need to lessen the other’s pain she should have shielded her own soul and mind from the patient’s mind. “You did not shield, did you, my student?”
Larina’s eyes closed slowly, with a nod that pressed her chin further into the palm of her mentor. “I remembered only afterward, Master. But I could not ease his pain as thoroughly without joining…”
“Relieving his pain was only a secondary purpose to healing the wound, Larina. This let your soul come into contact with his. And, Master Qui-Gon, the bonding of one soul to another is not dependent on the existence of love between the two beings. That is a myth.”
Mace sighed, adding his thoughts to the conversation, “She is right, Qui-Gon. A bond can be forged out of strong feelings of any type. The soul only reacts to the actuality of an intense feeling, and not the type. It just so happens that most bonds are based in the romantic feelings, but not all.” His face contorted into one of unhappiness. “It is not a good situation that we have here.”
Larina twisted her head around to make eye contact with the standing Masters. She was very near the verge of tears, but was holding back out of depth of training. Ha’run knelt next to the woman, a gentle arm on her leg. “You have strong feelings for Master Jinn.”
Larina closed her eyes in mental anguish. A lie would not be tolerated in the company that she was in, and she could not deny the existence of something that was accepted as truth. A bond had been formed. Now that she knew, she could feel that her center was now stretched between herself and another. It was only when Qui-Gon laid his hand on her arm and created a connection, that the center righted itself, swinging to a balance again. She sighed with exasperation at her own stupidity. “Yes, Master. I do, but I do not think that they are romantic in nature.”
“What are they?” her Master’s voice came to her in the self-imposed darkness of her closed lids and she evaluated her thoughts.
“I…when I was a Padawan under Master Tanuck, I knew of Master Qui-Gon…” It was easier for her to refer to him as a third person. “We all emulated him, wanted to be like him…he was….”
“A hero.” Obi-Wan’s voice rejoined, tight in its control. “It’s true we all felt that way.”
“And now that I know him, I feel such strength of wisdom, of control, of….power..goodness coming from him. How can anyone not want to be near him…” Larina’s voice drifted into a lesser timbre. “And..I find him….attractive….” she opened her eyes to meet her Master’s. “It is not that powerful, my Master.”
“Combined, they are, Larina. Combined they formulate the basis of a lasting friendship or relationship. Respect, adoration, attraction…a powerful combination.” Ha’run locked gazes again. Larina’s eyes teemed over with tears as she felt the pity of her Master land on her mind.
Mace gripped the table and sat down. “Qui-Gon, is this unrequited? Examine your feelings.”
The other Master had been quiet through the exchange. His thumb had remained gently stroking Larina’s hand to ease her distress. Now, his face was contorted in thought. After several seconds, it eased out with a slight wince. “It is unrequited, Mace. My center is as it always has been.”
“It can be fixed then.” Mace breathed out, lessening his grip. “The Council can break it.”
Larina sighed, feeling hers and Qui-Gon’s relief. It was strange to feel his reactions. “Thank the Force.”
“You won’t be thanking them when it happens, little one.” Qui-Gon spoke, his voice reaching to her over her shoulder. “It will be painful.”
Larina nodded, “I know. I have had a taste of it already. But what is going to happen now?”
Ha’run hung her head. “You, my dear, are going to break a rule. You are going to stay with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon until we reach Coruscant. I cannot have you knowingly in pain. It would be against my directive as a Master and a healer. What do you say, Mace?”
The Jedi nodded, his head gleaming in the light. “I agree. She cannot be in pain.”
Qui-Gon raised his hand to stop Obi-Wan’s argument before it started. His teenage apprentice often had things to say that were not proper or timely. “I agree also. Until this can be ended, and only until then. Obi-Wan,” he stated, making eye contact, “we often must adjust in our lives. This is only one of those instances. Get used to it. Your life as a Knight will include many of these curves in the path. And you will see that staying with a woman is one of the least troublesome things that can happen.”
Larina held her head in her hand. It was enough mortification that she had to admit in company her attraction to the Jedi Master, and now he was admitting that she was a curve in the path, a burden with which to be dealt. The budding friendship between the Master and his apprentice that had happened on the mission was paling rapidly and she was sad to see it go. The problems, she knew, were just starting.