Author's Notes: Hopefully this section will give a little insight into the past of these two....
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Dinner was a quiet and modest affair. The five Jedi crowded around eating the rations that were passed into the holding area. Obi-Wan and Mace, sans their cloaks, had crept over with the rest to receive the food packets. Obi-Wan had looked at the humans who delivered the food to the area with a critical eye. He could not see a definite difference in them versus the people amongst who he was currently staying. His time with Qui-Gon traveling the galaxy had opened his eyes and his Force abilities to many things. Evil was not always what it seemed to be and, depending on the situation and the focus of your reality, its persona would change. Sometimes he wished that the elusive wrong that the Jedi fought in the galaxy would have a sign hanging off it saying ‘evil here, fight me’, but invariably it never did. This situation was no different.
Mace nodded to the others as he retrieved the food, and moved to return to the bunch, but tapped Obi-Wan on the shoulder as his gaze stopped on other men. The men were being returned to the cave. They came in the slim opening in the rock walking single file and looking haggard and drawn. Heads were down; feet were shuffled. Obi-Wan grimaced as he watched them walk by him and to their respective families. Not a smile was seen, not even as the men accepted hugs and kisses of return. The two Jedi exchanged glances and moved to their friends in the corner.
Larina had also watched the return of the men with interest. She had moved a little away from Qui-Gon, simply holding his hand as a way to maintain contact. There was a need that she felt to have distance with the man – a need for privacy that came from inside of the Jedi Master. So she sat with her back to the man, her hand resting in his much larger and warmer one. Her black eyes narrowed as she watched the men move to the corners of the room like sand trickling in cracks. They moved slowly and without joy.
Her eyes shut as she felt the pain. It reached her like waves lapping at the shore and crept into her mind. She grimaced as she felt the small area of her mind that she used to capture emotions and filter them began to expand to take in the amount of anguish around her. The men felt desperate, worn, and in pain. The women were horrified by their mates’ return and were terrified of their own impending retrieval. It was all that she could take. Larina cursed her ability for the infinite time that day.
Slowly, Larina opened her eyes and gazed around the cavern with glassy eyes. Her eyes fell on Uglara, huddled in the corner with Treback and another man who had just returned. Uglara was kissing the face of the man, and was receiving no response. The young woman’s tears fell quietly and freely on her face.
Time passed slowly for Larina. She did not know what occurred around her – her focus remained on the other group of people. She did not realize that she herself cried until the moisture trickled down to her neck and pooled at her collarbone. Her mind was numbed, in shock with the overwhelming pain, anguish, fear, helplessness, and sadness. She bent slightly at the waist to relieve the nausea she felt at the emotions.
After awhile, she felt a pair of muscular arms encircling her waist from behind her. It was then that she realized that she had separated from Qui-Gon. The pain from the surrounding humanoids had wiped her bonded pain under in the tide. The chronic nature of the pain that she felt from others had overwhelmed the acute pain from the bond.
“Larina?” Qui-Gon whispered, “Larina – we need to keep close.”
The young healer nodded dumbly, allowing the Jedi Master to hold her.
“The pain will only get worse if you separate from me, “ he added and lowered his head to rest on hers.
Qui-Gon had watched the woman from his seat and had been surprised when she pulled away from him to walk to the rocks nearby. Her face had been a portrait of pain and the tears that fell from her eyes made his heart fall like a leaded object. He knew that even with her ability, her Jedi abilities often kept her from expressing the influence it had on her. That she was opening weeping was a sign that the pain that she felt was great. With a heave, he had lifted himself and enfolded her in his arms to create the contact that she needed.
“The pain will get worse for me regardless, Master Qui-Gon,” she answered, hanging her head.
“Contact will lessen the influence of the unrequited bond. Ha’run told us that earlier today, Larina.” he meant is voice to be chiding, but its low timbre sounded husky to him in the dank of the cave.
She sadly shook her head. “I only wish that it was the bond that was responsible for this pain. No, the contact will not help.” A small shiver of pain racked her for a moment. “I opened my heart and mind to them. I wanted…”
“Larina,” his voice became hard as he turned her to look at him, “you need to separate from them. It will only overwhelm you…”
“Without the Force, I cannot push them from my mind, Master. I only wanted to show them that I care, that…”
“Can you try to meditate?” Qui-Gon’s voice almost gritted out of his mouth.
Again a sad shake moved her bright red mane. “No, Master Qui-Gon, they are too close to my soul now.”
His mouth became a thin line under his beard and mustache. “This is why you were removed from Padawan status, Larina. You allow emotions too close to your heart. You meld with them. A Knight needs a clear center and your shielding needed too much improvement.”
“And that is why you voted for my removal when the vote was put to the Masters.” She added quietly.
He was quiet as he searched her eyes for rage directed at him. He could find none. “Yes, I did vote against you, Larina. You were better suited in the healing arts. Your previous Master knew that as did I.”
She met his gaze for a few moments. When she saw no malice, only concern in his eyes, she spoke. “It is not the bond, Master Qui-Gon, although I do feel weaker when I am apart from you. And regardless of what you think of my inability to accomplish separate from my emotions, they are there. I CAN feel these people’s pain. It will only increase as their intensity increases. I need to do something to lessen it…” her voice trailed off with a wince and shudder from pain.
His hand pushed on her back to bring her closer. “What do you suggest, young healer?”
Her eyes swept over his arm to the groups of people that littered the area. She centered again on Uglara and her man in the corner. She continued to speak in a whisper. “When these women are taken, I go with them…. I can force the lock from the out….”
“No.” The word was almost barked out of the Jedi that held her.
“Master Qui…”
“No,” he answered more forcefully, his arm tightening around her.
“Let me take responsibility for my failings, Master Qui-Gon. I have let the emotions in and this is a way that I can change their chemistry in my mind. I can do this, and I do fit the demographic.”
“Larina, you are not a knight, nor are you a Padawan.” His eyes hardened, “this situation calls for that type of training. Besides, you forget the bond. Distance will hurt you and it could drive you to a comatose state.”
“The bond is irrelevant, Master Qui-Gon. The pain from here,” she waved her arms around in space indicating the others in the cave, “out weighs it. It is more chronic and is everywhere in me. I hurt in my bones. I need to do something. And the Masters might have voted to remove my apprenticeship from me, but they could not remove my training. I am able to fit into a crowd and to open an electrical lock.”
“Follow your training and obey a Master when he says no.” His voice was even deeper than before. When she remained quiet, he tried another tactic. “Your abilities were never in question. Your shielding was lacking, Larina. It was shown before you had your apprenticeship stripped from you and it has shown itself in this situation with the bond. Your Master was heartbroken to have your status removed. But it was for the best for you. It was done for your protection. And it is for your protection that I am telling you now not to do this thing.”
Larina hung her head in respect. She shivered as another wave of pain washed over her and she groaned.
He pulled her head to his chest with a sigh. “I have known you for years, Larina. You have a kind heart and a willing spirit. You were a joy to your Master when he trained you; he looked to you as a daughter. But you are where you belong now.”
Qui-Gon rubbed her head absently, his hand burying in the locks of fire. His mouth turned up slightly in a smile as he continued the hand movement. “I am hard on you, Larina. How is it that you care for me?”
She was silent, and wilted into his touch a little more. The pain might not be driving her to him for connection, but the calmness of his touch and the comfort from it made her want to stay with him. Her arms encircled his waist finally, clenching at the tunic. He rubbed his chin on her hair for a moment and smiled.
Her voice, when it finally answered, was almost a whisper, “Because you are who you are, Master Qui-Gon. And what you are is a kind, caring, handsome man.”
“Thank you,” he answered equally as quiet. His eyes softened completely as the pain that she was in became more pronounced on her face. Tears had started once again and rolled down her cheeks unchecked. He wished to help train her to shield from the emotions, but wished more to ease her distress and pain. “You need to rest.”
“It might help with the pain,” she agreed.
He pulled away to lead her back to the small camp. Ha’run was already curled in a cloak, rapidly approaching sleep. Her feline eyes centered on Qui-Gon and he nodded to let her know that Larina was cared for that evening. As he approached where his Padawan slept, he noticed that she was without her cloak.
“Who have you given your cloak to?” he asked, allowing her to lean against his back as he bent to make a bed out of his cloak.
“Uglara. She was in need of its warmth.” Larina sighed as he eased himself into a seated position and slowly drew her down and into his arms.
“Foolish,” he stated, rolling her and himself into the cloak.
“I can always get a new one, Master Qui-Gon.” She stated, curling into his arms.
“I know.” He answered, smiling. She did have a good heart. “You will have to make do with mine and me tonight, then.”
She nodded, moving around until she was comfortable against his chest and nestled into Mace’s back. “Thank you, Master Qui-Gon.”
He nodded and sighed. Within minutes he slept as did she.
The next morning Qui-Gon rose to an empty cloak and an extra tunic. Larina was gone. As were the rest of women in the cave.