Author's Notes: Shara Kender appears by kind permission of Aya JJ.
Hope y'all like this one.
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
The next four and a half months went by quickly. Sabé worked with Panaka to train two new handmaidens. She and Sache planned a mission that would take place while she would be gone. There was the usual everyday duties of checking all the recruits, their references and processing the data. And during this time, Sabé gathered more information on what it took to make a Jedi.
The day came to board the transport. There was some hustle and bustle around the platform since there were passengers from several different worlds. Naboo was the last stop before all the dignitaries went on to the capital.
Sabé, with her luggage and Meira, looked around. She wanted to be discreet, but she had hoped a friend or two would come to see her off. Shrugging, she grabbed the handle of the bag that contained the carry on luggage, and walked up the ramp.
"Wait Minister, we're coming too," a familiar voice shouted. Sabé turned around. Rabe and Rowan were hurrying to join her.
"How did you get on this trip?" Sabé asked, astonished.
"You don't think you're going to get out of here without company, do you?" Rabe smiled. "We're due for a mission ourselves, thank you."
"And your mission would be....?"
"Security for the Minister and her daughter, of course," Rowan answered.
Sabé was relieved. The time in transit and on the planet would now be tolerable.
When they got to Coruscant, they waited until the rest of the passengers had exited. With the high profile of most of them, cameras were broadcasting their arrival. Sabé sent Rowan out to check out when the journal cameras had departed. It wasn't long before his return.
They were greeted by an assistant from interim Senator Sio Bibble's office. Upon the sight of the four, Bibble greeted them with cordial enthusiasm.
"It's good to see friends from home. I'll be glad when the elections are finally held and I can return to Theed," he exclaimed. "And what a lovely baby, you have, Sabé. The nanny is ready and available as soon as you settle in."
"It shouldn't be long before your return. We have recovered well enough to allow elections to take place soon," Rabe reassured him.
"We miss you too," Sabé said. "But for now, I'm glad it's you here. Are the arrangements in place?"
"Yes, it's all been prepared. Do you want to do the documentation? I have it on my desk."
Sabé nodded. She looked at her two friends. "Will you do the honors?"
They both nodded back. All proceeded into the inner office. Meira started getting a bit more vocal since she was waking up from the trip. Rabe helped distract her while Sabé went over what she had to sign.
"A forged Marriage certificate. I never even spoke with this man. I hope he wouldn't have minded too much," Sabé sighed regretfully. She signed.
Rowan leaned over and added his signature as a witness. "Baris was a good man. I don't think he would object to helping you under these circumstances."
Rabe passed the baby back to her mother, so she could sign as a second witness. The document was copied, and a data crystal presented to Sabé.
"There, that makes me socially acceptable, I suppose," Sabé said, tucking the crystal away. "Thank you, Senator. We'll get settled in and meet you for dinner tonight." They bowed at each other and parted.
The next morning, when the nanny for Meira had arrived, Sabé began the second phase of her task. She located the Jedi Temple Library on the map. Fortunately, it wasn't far away. Rowan and Rabe gave her an intense look as she departed. She sensed their question.
"You'll know when I know."
"Minister Calle, doing research for Her Majesty, Queen Amidala of Naboo," Sabé said, introducing herself to the Jedi Temple Librarian. She handed her indenticard to the woman, who checked it, and approved.
"Queen Amidala is well-known as a friend to the Jedi," the woman answered, nodding. "We are honored to be of assistance to her in any way possible. I have a terminal open for your use, Minister."
When she was seated at the terminal, Sabé opened a few files that were available to the public, texts that were common and innocuous. She copied them onto the crystals that she had brought. Quietly glancing both ways, she checked to see that everyone else was occupied and that she would be left alone. She proceeded to more advanced material, especially the basic training of the Jedi, from earliest infancy on. There still seemed to be much that was left out, secrets that she would have to know. She made the copies and continued.
The place remained quiet, no attention focused on her. Retrieving the last few crystals, she slipped out a note that had a confidential access code on it, followed by a list of works kept only in this library, some written by Jinn himself. Usually, they were allowed exclusively to properly authorized users. Sabé was not one of these, but she was sure that the Master wanted her to read these, since he had included the information in the texts he left her in R2. This would be her one and only chance to get this material, she could not fail.
Centering herself and shielding her mind to conceal her nervous state, she went to the restricted access area in the library terminal. She entered the code and awaited a response. She was almost surprised when the area accepted the code and allowed her to read the files she needed. Trying not to appear in too much of a hurry, she found the works on the list and copied them as quickly as possible.
Her task done, she left the restricted area, and found a few more of the public files to copy, until her adrenaline had burned itself off. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her crystals, and prepared to leave. Pulling the hood over her head to conceal her relief, she passed the desk. The Librarian in charge noted her departure, and thanked her.
Once outside and successful in her task, Sabé seated herself on bench near the Jedi Temple, one that faced the platform where transports docked and served those departing and returning from missions. It was still far away enough from the crowd to give her some privacy. Taking the crystals, she inserted a training manual for early childhood and skimmed through it to give herself some idea of what she would have to know to rear her daughter properly in some of the Jedi principles.
After hurriedly reviewing several of the writings she came for, she found herself overwhelmed. She knew she could be a good mother because of her love for her child, but she could not imagine herself as being able to teach her all of what she had just read. She had to accept that even though she possessed some of the gift of the Force, at this age and with no real teacher, her skills would never be better than those of an acolyte. Even the preteen Padawans at the beginning of their apprenticeship were more advanced than she could hope to be. This realization was nearly enough to bring her to tears. The idea that she could not do right by her daughter in training her was close to unbearable. If she could not help her child fulfill her potential, perhaps the right course of action was to give her to those who could.
Then, softly and quietly, she felt his presence. Obi-Wan was near and getting closer. Instantly she erected her shields, better at concealing her feelings and whereabouts in the months she had been practicing the techniques. She hoped she had acted in time, before he had noticed her.
She was safe, his attention was on his mission, and the woman who walked with him. With such a large place and so many people here, Sabé was sure if she remained as she was, still hidden by the hood, quiet and out of the way, she would not be seen.
She allowed herself to glance up to see Obi-Wan prepare to get on the transport. His companion was another Jedi, a beautiful woman with long black hair. They seemed to be exchanging farewells, he leaned over and kissed her, a lingering kiss, then he boarded the ship.
Sabé could no longer hold back the tears. With as much control as she could muster, she stood up and saw a side alley. Walking briskly, but not too fast, she entered, saw there would be no one there to witness her, she leaned against the wall and let herself sob.
Her inner soliloquy began, and it only served to depress her more. :: You've no right to be jealous, and you're here for the child and not Obi-Wan anyway. That woman has to be Shara, the childhood friend, and lifelong lover...He's back with her, and that's as it should be...She's a Jedi, how could you match that...she can teach your daughter everything that you can't...I wonder if she loves him enough to help rear his baby, even if born of another woman...I should just go and make the arrangements right now...at the very least she could learn firsthand from her Jedi father...::
A soft hand touched Sabé's shoulder from behind, and a caring voice said, "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad, can it?"
Gasping and catching her breath, Sabé turned to find herself face to face with Shara Kendar. "I sensed distress, perhaps I can help. Please come with me, we'll find a place to sit and talk." The Jedi gestured towards a table in the shade. Sabé took a handkerchief from a pocket, dried her tears and walked with Shara to be seated.
After a few moments to gather her thoughts, and sip at the cold water brought to them, Sabé spoke. "Thank you for your concern, Jedi. I just have a difficult choice to make, and I am confused as to what is the best thing to do."
"May I ask what this choice is? If you speak out loud about it, the solution may come to you." Shara sat back and prepared to listen. Her compassionate and sympathetic demeanor gave Sabé the confidence to open up, even in this awkward setting.
"I have a baby girl, one who shows potential for entrance into the Temple. I want her to have access to the facilities and teachers that can help her understand and use her gifts. But, there's one obstacle, at least for me. Jedi, I love my daughter more than anything in the galaxy, I had no idea I could love anyone that much. I feel that I cannot bear to part with her, even if in her best interest. Can you understand that? I'm sure your answer would be to sacrifice my own selfish interests in favor of the Temple and the service of the Republic. Were I not speaking of my own child, I would say that too." Sabé paused in her confession.
Shara did not react immediately, instead she seemed to think over what she had just been told. Then she asked, "The girl's father, what has he to say about this?"
Sabé swallowed hard, glanced down, then looked up. "Her father doesn't know about her." She noted a flash of disapproval on Shara's face, a look that was covered quickly. She continued, "Please, let me explain. You see, we can't be together. He has his calling, and I have mine. The baby was conceived when we were at war, I didn't know if I would survive the next week, let alone time enough to have a child and be at the point to make this decision."
Shara cast her eyes downward and nodded. Pausing to think again for a few moments, she dared to ask in a quiet and serious tone, "You have feelings for the father?"
It was Sabé's turn to look away. "I'll be honest. At the time, there was affection between us. I respect him, I admire him and his abilities. I care for him deeply. If things were different, I would hope to have him in my life."
"If you feel that way about him, perhaps you should not give up his child," Shara suggested. "The Force may have moved you to bear her because no one else can rear her better than you can. As her birth mother, you can give her much that the Temple will never be able to provide. That she was borne of an affectionate, even if temporary union, makes it more special. In the end, you must make the final choice. I can only give you one possibility."
Sabé closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. Someone finally validating that she was not only competent, but could excel in rearing her baby, was just what she needed to hear. "Thank you, kind Jedi. I think I can go and make the choice now, you have given me much to consider." She stood and bowed to Shara, then left to make her way back to the Senate Quarters.
Shara, biting her lower lip, sadly watched Sabé go. Too low for anyone else to hear, she asked, "Master Jinn, was that satisfactory?"
A kind, familiar voice echoed in her mind. //Yes, Ishara, thank you. I know that wasn't easy//
Shara finished her water. //Master, with all due respect, you just don't know,// she thought.
Sabé returned to the quarters with elation. She felt her way clear now. Just before she got inside the door, she paused. The other side of the situation hit her at that point and although she was still very happy, she felt the irony of the whole.
Rabe and Rowan watched her enter. Trepidation was in their eyes.
"We're going home together. All of us," Sabé announced, reaching for her baby.
Her companions broke into wide smiles.
Sabé dismissed the nanny and started feeding Meira. As she did so, she pondered her encounter with the Jedi.
"My friends, I must tell you, the Gods laugh at us," Sabé stated.
"What do you mean?" Rabe asked, confused.
"This--one works and gets one's life to where it's almost perfect, just one element is missing. Then you meet the one who has that element and finds she's in the same place, but you have what she's missing. Trust me, the Gods do laugh at us," Sabé explained.