Author's Notes: Special thanks to AyaJJ for her kind permission of the use of Shara Kendar.
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
I was watching the Senate in progress, it was now time for the Queen to speak. As the vidscreen showed me the lack of support, we were getting, I had to slump back in my chair. Even Amidala could not prevail against the monster this body had become. I wiped away the tears that came while thinking of how much longer our people would have to endure.
The Queen excused herself as soon as she could and made her way back to our temporary quarters. She changed into her next outfit, a lovely black kimono. The four of us tried to avoid speaking of Naboo, it would hurt too much to think of home now.
"Anyone want a break?" I asked. I was fresh and ready to get out of this room. I'd been cooped up too long.
"Your Highness, may I take Sabé up on her offer?" Rabe spoke, anticipation in her eyes. Amidala, well aware of her relationship with the young guard, Rowan, gave her a knowing look.
"Finish my hair, and you may go," Amidala told Rabe, in a stately, yet still warm tone. It was obvious that she approved of the couple. I smiled. After I had spoken with Rowan a short time, he seemed like a very good man, and I was happy for them both.
The only one who looked less than pleased was Eirtae. Oh, she managed a half hearted smile, but then busied herself with details of the Queen's gown and said nothing. I could see that this was not going to do. I didn't want to go so far as to pair her with someone myself, but I couldn't let this envy develop into full blown jealousy either. We had to keep our focus together as a team, not as girls competing for the best male specimen.
"Eirtae, I think you did well with your last blaster pistol session. Now, why don't you share your area of expertise with me? Since I'm about to go to the Senator's office for the first time, brief me on what happened before, and procedures I have to follow in my role there." It was the first time I had ever asked for her advice.
The handmaiden brightened at my inquiry. She began talking all about what it was like, how it looked, what Palpatine had said, where we were supposed to stand. I listened, nodded and took as much of it in as I could. I didn't like all of what I heard, especially the statement by the Senator on accepting Federation rule. Before, he had been the one to promote the vote of no confidence. I couldn't yet isolate the reason, but there was something I was uncomfortable about, something that didn't seem right.
We finished the Queen's preparations, then got on our cloaks. The three of us exited the quarters to find the Gungan that had tagged along wandering about in the hall. My first instinct was to reprimand the guards for letting him linger so close to the Queen. I had not learned yet to be comfortable with him around, despite Amidala's reassurances that he was harmless and not at all like the stories we heard. For me as a child, the Gungans were what was going to get me if I was bad. Later, I was taught that they were simply not to be trusted, barbarians to be avoided whenever possible. I generally don't like prejudice, but I was having a hard time overcoming my own. I tensed, and kept a vigilant eye on him.
A long, winding walk later, I was on duty with Eirtae in the Senator's office, keeping watch on Her Highness. We had been there for some time now, awaiting news from Palpatine and Panaka. The Gungan did know to keep his distance, so I had started to let my guard down a bit. Now Amidala was looking out a window, contemplating the city, much the same as I had done earlier. The creature moved closer to her, seeming to begin a conversation. I could not hear what they spoke of, they were using lower tones. Since the Queen did not indicate that she was threatened, I stayed back and let them talk.
A few moments later, Panaka burst in with Palpatine. They were very excited as they told us their news, that Palpatine was in the running for Supreme Chancellor. Everyone seemed pleased with this. Everyone but me.
I had no solid evidence to back me up, so there was nothing to be gained by telling the Queen my feelings. What really sent chills up my spine was the way he spoke when he declared that he would be Supreme Chancellor. It was obvious that he had no doubt of this. At that point, I realized the danger that he represented was worse than any child's nightmare of Gungans.
Amidala must have felt something though. She asked about a few points that she was concerned with, then quickly made the decision that we were returning to Naboo.
While Panaka readied the ship and we packed, the Queen was in deep thought. I could tell she was planning something, but what?
Our preparations done, we headed back to the ship. Amidala was now in a purple traveling gown, we were in our orange/yellow sunset outfits. I looked ahead and was delighted to see Master Qui-Gon at the platform to meet the Queen. He approached her, and told her that he would be accompanying us to Naboo to ensure her safety. I felt better already, and I could tell Amidala did too. I was also happy at the prospect of seeing Obi-Wan again, as well as getting to talk to Anakin. I glanced around, trying to spot them, but they were not in sight.
We boarded the ship, then I saw Obi-Wan and the boy. I glanced for a second at the Padawan and noticed something seemed wrong. I tried the link we had started.
//Obi-Wan?//
He met my eyes for just a moment as we passed. //Greetings, Sabé// There was a touch of dejection in his tone.
"Handmaidens," the Queen said, "you're with me, we meet in the throne room." She allowed herself a slight smile at Ani and then requested that R2 join us. She had to move us along quickly before Ani figured out that Padme was missing.
I reached out once again to Obi-Wan. //Talk later?.//
//I think I'd like that. I'll be in touch.// , he replied.
We reached the Throne Room, Amidala locked the door behind us. She ascended the throne. In her normal voice, she asked, "Sabé, what would you say if I told you the Gungans have an army?"
My jaw dropped. This was totally unexpected. I was privy to much secure information on threats and defenses, and nothing had ever been released on a Gungan military operation. But then, no one expected the Trade Federation's ploys either. It seemed this was the last thing the Naboo needed.
Recovering, I stated, "Your Highness, this is a surprise. You got this information from the Gungan traveling with us? Can he be trusted?"
The Queen smiled. "Yes, and it surprised me also. I believe in Jar-Jar Binks and he has become an ally." Before I could speak of my doubts, she shot me a look that kept me silent. "Your assignment for now is to plot a way to the throne room using the secret passages. R2 is here to help you with data and graphics. Show me when you are finished."
R2 and I worked together on the assignment. After we were done, I ran it by the Queen and she approved. Rabe and Eirtae had been working on other projects and we would coordinate it all just before we got to Naboo. Amidala hinted at this point that part of her plan hinged on disguising me again. Putting the pieces that I had together, I began to see what this might lead to, at least as far as my role was to be. I was going to have to work very hard to be ready for the event.
After a couple of other minor assignments and preparation with my team mates, I was relieved of duty for a time. I changed back to my practice workout gear and did my exercises with great intensity. I was determined that I would not fail the Queen and Naboo.
It seemed this time I had worked a bit too strenuously. I exited the throne room, feeling a strain in my lower back. Slipping my robe on over the bodysuit and dabbing at my face with the towel, I decided that Rabe would be allowed to baby me this time, I had been hard enough on myself. A few steps out of the room and I met Qui-Gon with Anakin in tow.
I gave them a smile and a nod as I passed, holding my back. I tried to stand up straighter hoping they wouldn't notice the strain, but the Master was too observant. He touched my shoulder, "Young Handmaiden, you're in pain."
I smiled uncomfortably and replied, "Really Master Jedi, it's nothing. I just overextended a bit. I'll be all right, thank you."
He wouldn't be put off. "I insist," he said as he gently, but firmly maneuvered me back to the Throne Room. Anakin followed.
Resigned, I opened the door. The Master guided me to one of the cushioned seats on the wall and pulled it down. "Now, sit here. This won't take long. Anakin, go to the galley and get us some tea. Herbal for the two of us and Green Endor for the young lady here. It will help with her soreness."
Anakin recognized me from the Senate Quarters and gave me a warm smile. We nodded at each other and he started toward the exit. "Oh, and Ani," Qui-Gon said. "Leave the door open."
"Yes, Master, Sir," Ani said and was gone.
"Master Jedi, you, of all people, have more to do than make a fuss over me...," I started.
He gave me one of those looks, the one that encouraged yet reproached at the same time. "And Lady, you know better than to strain yourself. Now remove the robe so I can heal you."
I already knew there was little point in arguing, so I let the robe slip off. Qui-Gon started his examination using a healing touch. It was a far different sensation than Obi-Wan's caress. It was a soothing, comfortable feeling rather than an exciting one. Almost paternal.
I started feeling safe enough to bring up what must be a more sore subject than my back. "Master, I have sensed tension and uncertainty from Obi-Wan. I may be overstepping my bounds in asking, but is there a rift between you and your Padawan?"
I felt him stiffen ever so slightly. I backed off, "Forgive me, I shouldn't have asked."
He was silent for a moment. Then he relaxed and responded. "No, it's all right. Your concern for Obi-Wan is genuine. It's true, we are avoiding each other right now." His voice took on a tinge of regret. "In trying to do the greater good, I've hurt him. I wish things hadn't gone this way."
I turned my head to the side so he could see by my smile that I meant the next statement in the best way possible. I made it as warm and approving as I could. "You just like being everyone's daddy, don't you?"
He was slightly taken aback, I don't think he expected to be spoken to in that manner. He considered it, then it was accepted. "Not quite everyone's 'daddy', as you put it. I do think that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me since our arrival at Coruscant. I thank you."
"You're quite welcome. I'm sure everything will turn out for the best. Obi-Wan may be an adult, but he's not quite ready to give up his father figure yet. I don't think you want give him up either, if you can help it."
I must have been getting too close at that point, he politely changed the subject. "You know, you and Obi-Wan should talk more. It would do you both good," he said with the teacher/parent tone.
I couldn't help it, I smiled because I knew I had it coming. "You have me there, Master. In my defense, let me say that he is the only one who affects me so. The only one who can, I think. We do start talking, but before long, well, you know what it turns into. If I were Force sensitive, I would hazard a guess that that's what comes into play, the Force influence. It seems to be something that moves me, rather than a planned decision on my part. Maybe I'm just making it up to avoid responsibility for my actions. I don't know." I shrugged.
"We have a saying, 'Nothing happens by chance,'" Qui-Gon said, counseling me now. "Meditate on that. Now, let me teach you something before Ani gets back, here's how to put up a shield. Don't be frustrated if you don't perfect it right away. It takes practice."
He gave me a quick lesson, and with perfect timing, as soon as it was over, Ani arrived with the tea. Amidala had gone back to her Padme persona and accompanied him. When she entered, the first sight was Master Qui-Gon's hands moving lightly over my back. She shot me a look as if she couldn't believe I was using her throne room for that again. I returned with a gesture of complete innocence. The Master noticed our body language and the game we made of it and stifled a chuckle. Fortunately, it went over Anakin's head.
The four of us relaxed and enjoyed our tea and light conversation. Ani and Qui-Gon told a few stories of their exploits, Padme and I appreciated their company. The knowing looks that Padme and Ani started exchanging was something I was glad to see. It was a break that we needed before we got back to the work of dealing with the invasion.
Suddenly Obi-Wan came to the door. "Master," he called just before he got there. When he got far enough to see the four of us making a sort of party of the gathering, he just stopped. "Oh, excuse me," he blurted, and moved away quickly.
"Master," I said, looking at the door, then Qui-Gon, "Are we done? I thank you for your ministration, I am ever so grateful, there are duties that I need to tend to..."
"Yes, Handmaiden, we are finished," he said. Rising with me, we both stood up and he helped me with my robe. "Now remember, no unnecessary risks. You have far too important a role to play in what is to come." Then he whispered so only I could hear,"Black Alderaan is his favorite." I nodded in understanding.
Rushing through the next few steps, I caught a quick sonic shower in the 'fresher of the Royal quarters, changed into the orange handmaiden gown, hurried to the galley and found what I was looking for, some Black Alderaan tea and sweet biscuits. I finally allowed myself to slow down as I was drawing the hot water and the tea steeped. I decided to try reaching out with my thoughts, seeking my Jedi friend. Amazingly, the image came to me. He was in the lower deck, near the power core, alone. The tray of refreshments ready, I went to him.
I entered the area, and actually surprised him. "Sabé," he exclaimed, half smiling. "What is this?"
"My turn to serve Jedi," I replied. "I'm afraid we don't have as grand a selection of food as on Coruscant, I hope this will suffice for now." I placed the tray on the small counter in the room. There was a bench around it, and I motioned for him to sit.
He did sit and sweetened the tea with honey. I stayed standing and moved behind him, placed my hands on his shoulders. I started gently working some of his tension away. He let himself relax at last.
"Thank you for coming to me. I needed that," he sighed.
It was a sexy sigh, I had to restrain myself. Qui-Gon was right, we did need to talk more, especially now that I wanted to be a friend to this man. "Whatever you're feeling about the situation between you and your Master, it will pass and things will be as they should. You trust that, don't you?"
"Yes," he said, leaning back and taking my right hand. "This is just hard to get through right now. Why don't you sit with me?"
"All right," I responded. He released my hand and I moved to sit next his right side on the bench. Suddenly he reached his arms around me, pulling me back into himself. He held me close and buried his face against the back of my left shoulder. I think he would have cried if he could have allowed himself that. I placed my right hand on top of his that were around my waist and with my left hand reached around to stroke his temple, hoping it was comforting.
Lifting his face, he spoke, "When I do lose him, it will be too soon. No matter when that is, it will be too soon."
"That's how it is with someone you love." I let him hold me and work his way through the despair. When I sensed that he was getting centered, I asked, "Tell me some of your memories of those at the Temple, your friends and other teachers. I'd like to hear about it, if you wish to share."
Focusing on the pleasant memories seemed to help him. "Yes, I fought hard to keep many of those. A memory wipe was tried on me once. Thanks to the Force, it didn't work." He continued with tales of students that were close to him. Bant, a Calamarian. Two boys who stuck together through it all, Reeft and Garen Muln. There was Shara Kendar, and judging by the way he spoke of her, she was obviously someone special to him. Despite myself, I had to stifle a feeling of jealousy.
"There, " he said. "I'm with you now, and you've become special. Very dear to me, as a matter of fact."
I closed my eyes, and felt the warm shiver run through me. Obi-Wan had sent a Force caress to reassure me. But I was going to have to work on Qui-Gon's shielding lesson, I had not wanted him to pick up on the negative that I allowed to slip by.
"And you're better at sex than the Queen," he added, teasingly. For a moment, I wondered if he did still think he had been with two lovers. Then, his chuckle seemed to indicate that he was well aware of the truth, that it had been me both times. I grinned and yanked firmly on the braid.
"Ow," he yelped.
"I should be, I've had more experience," I bragged.
He released his hold on me and turned me around to face him. "Is that so?" He moved in and softly kissed me.
The comlinks all the handmaidens wore chimed to indicate that our time off was over. I tried to think up new curses. The old ones I knew did not seem bad enough.
Reluctantly, I pulled back from the kiss. "Duty calls. I hope we can take up where we're leaving off soon." He nodded in agreement, and we both started towards the upper deck to the Throne room.
Obi-Wan and I got to the door that joined the compartment that we had been in, to the droid hold and its elevator. Coming from the direction of the escape pods, Rabe and Rowan emerged from another door. They were straightening themselves up quickly, tucking bits of uniform into place. I bit my lip and did not say a word as we rode up the elevator and to the Queen's meeting.