Author's Notes: You have to read the history...please read, it's funny!
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
"Hi, Obi.
"I always feel guilty sending you these transmissions. I mean, here I am, sending half of Naboo's palace secrets to you. But you always make such a wonderful sounding board. And if you can't trust a Jedi, who can you trust?
"Of late, we've been entertaining one Prince Westerly, Heir to the throne of Jocar. Jocar has proposed an alliance, and I truly hope to work something out. Our two planets can really benefit from a pooling of resources. Unfortunately, there's one problem: Westerly.
"Obi-Wan, between you and me, the man is the most arrogant, obnoxious brat I have ever met. He has flirted with me, every one of my handmaidens, the female half of Ric's squadron and I think I caught him hitting on one of the protocol droids. If I'm not careful, he'll be trying for an arranged marriage to unite our planets.
"I don't think I could stand it, Obi. Come and save me, or at least let me borrow your lightsaber, huh? Well, it's off to more negotiations. Just a few more weeks, I suppose. Good-bye, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan smiled slightly as the image of Queen Amidala of Naboo flickered out of existence. Secretly, he loved corresponding with her. Besides being cultured and beautiful, she had a lively sense of wit and a sharp tongue. Furthermore, she was the only one of Obi-Wan's friends that wasn't a Jedi. It was somewhat refreshing.
"HEY, OBI-WAN!" Anakin Skywalker barreled into the house at .5 past lightspeed. "Guess what?"
"Someone has offered me a million credits to buy you and take you away?"
"Naw. I was down at the junkyard, and Thark just got in a new power converter! It's only slightly busted, and he said I could have it if I helped him fix up that old speeder."
"Wonderful! And when are you going to fix our speeder?"
"Our speeder?"
"The one you took the engine out of?"
"Oh. That speeder. Hey! Did you get a transmission?"
"Maybe."
"Who's it from? Is it from Amidala?"
"Maybe."
"I wanna see it!"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's mine."
"But Amidala's MY friend!"
"Anakin..."
Anakin sighed dramatically.
"You got a transmission from her yesterday," Obi-Wan pointed out. "Besides, it's just full of boring grown-up stuff."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Positive. You want to help make dinner?"
"I guess."
"Come on. We're having bantha ribs."
"Cool! Do we still have some of Master Mace's barbeque sauce?"
"I think so."
Obi-Wan put the transmission chip on the table, and led Anakin into the kitchen.
Anakin crept out into the hallway. It was the middle of the night. Technically, he was supposed to be asleep. From the heavy snorting across the hall, Obi-Wan definitely was. Anakin snuck into the living area, and stared at the transmission chip sitting, forgotten, on the table. He shouldn't. He really shouldn't.
He hit the rewind button for a few seconds, and as he released it, Amidala's figure shimmered into view. Anakin smiled in spite of himself. She was so pretty.
"--not careful, he'll be trying for an arranged marriage to unite our planets. I don't think I could stand it, Obi. Come and save me, or--" Anakin dropped the chip, and it abruptly shut off. An arranged marriage? No! Amidala was supposed to marry him! Well, as soon as he got old enough. And became a Jedi. And asked her.
But now she was stuck marrying this other guy! And she was practically begging for Obi-Wan's help. And stupid Obi-Wan was just blowing it off, like it was nothing. Anakin bit his lip. He had to do something. But Obi-Wan would never let him. Obi-Wan probably thought the whole marriage thing was a good idea. Anakin knew what he had to do. He was going to Naboo.
Obi-Wan's brain felt fuzzy when he woke up. Something was wrong, his Jedi senses kept telling him.
Right, Obi-Wan replied. There's no coffee.
No, that's not it, the Jedi senses replied. Look around you.
Everything's fine, where's the coffee? Obi-Wan thought back.
What about the little vergence in the Force that's usually sitting at the breakfast table, complaining about your oatmeal by this time? the Jedi senses pressed.
Huh. Where's Anakin? Obi-Wan wondered.
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. There was no point in looking for the boy-- he wasn't in the house, or anywhere nearby, for that matter. Obi- Wan sat down heavily on the couch. Where would Anakin go? Town, maybe? Suddenly, a piece of paper on the table caught his eye. A piece of paper sitting right next to Amidala's transmission chip. Warily, he picked up the paper, which was covered in Anakin's sloppy scrawl.
"Dear Obi-Wan,I know you said not to, but I looked at the transmission. I know you wouldn't approve, but I can't let Amidala marry someone she doesn't want to. I've gone to Naboo to stop the wedding. I will be back soon. Sorry I didn't have time to fix the speeder before I left.
Anakin Skywalker"
Obi-Wan stared at the note, half-comprehendingly. "Poodoo," he remarked.
Anakin gripped his knapsack nervously. Leaving home had been one thing. Leaving the planet was an eopie of a different color. But he had to go save Amidala. He looked at the huge freighter. Suddenly, he felt a beefy hand on his shoulder.
"Where you think you're going, kid?" the large Malastarian grunted.
"Where is this ship going?" Anakin asked, trying to sound brave and confident, and shoving a little Force into his words.
"Coruscant, with fuel stops at Rode and Naboo."
Anakin caught his breath. After four freighters, this was the first one going to Naboo. "You never saw me," he added.
"Never saw ya," the Malastarian echoed blankly. Anakin crept into the hold, and settled down among the crates. He was on his way.
It was really too early to be drinking, Spath Kadnau contemplated as he slurped his Corellian ale. But the eggs at the tavern were pretty bad. They needed alcohol to smooth the way down.
"More eggs, Spath?" one of the pretty barmaids offered.
"No, but I could use some more ale. What'd Derk put in these things anyway, tauntaun milk?"
"His secret recipe," she replied, rolling her eyes.
Suddenly, the door slammed open, and a shadowy, robed figure was highlighted in the morning sun, right before collapsing into the tavern. "I need a ride to Naboo," he announced.
Spath recognized him. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Lived on the outskirts of town with a wacky little kid who liked to talk about starships and Podracing whenever the opportunity arose. The barmaids were constantly making up wild stories about what they were doing on the fringes of a sleepy little Malastare spaceport. Yolie thought Obi-Wan was a young widower, raising his son alone after the death of his beloved wife. Prill was convinced that Anakin was really the crown prince to some planet, and Obi-Wan was protecting him until he was old enough to take the throne. There were more theories, some of them downright silly, most of them flavored by the fact that every one of the barmaids was in love with Obi- Wan.
Spath knew the real truth. Obi-Wan was a Jedi, and he was training the kid to follow in his footsteps. After all, the kid had told him. But he didn't want to spoil the girls' fun.
"Naboo, huh?" Spath ventured, wiping his face with the cleanest bit of cloth at hand, namely his sleeve.
"Yes," Obi-Wan replied tersely, shaking dust out of his robe.
"Where's the kid?" Spath asked.
Obi-Wan glared at him. "Naboo."
Spath held back his guffaws. "I got the fastest ship 'round these parts."
Yod, down at the end of bar, who had been lying in a puddle of ale where he'd fallen asleep the night before, snorted derisively.
"Shuddap!" Spath shouted. "She can make the Kessel run in 15 parsecs."
"Wonderful," Obi-Wan responded dryly. "Can she make it to Naboo in one piece?"
"Of course," Spath replied, mock-insulted. "For a price."
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "Seven thousand."
"Deal," Spath replied. He'd been hoping for three.
"And we leave right away."
"Right. Can I finish my eggs, first?" He glanced back at the remains of his breakfast. "Never mind. Let's go."
Anakin was jolted awake with a slight bump. Were they on Naboo? It had been two days since they'd left Malastare. Anakin thought it took about two days to get to Naboo. Besides, they'd already stopped once-- the second time should be it. Anakin personally couldn't wait. His legs were cramped, and he was getting a little tired of jackleberry jam sandwiches. They'd seemed like a good travel food at the time, but after two days... eugh. At least they were better than Obi-Wan's ration sticks.
Anakin hefted his pack, and snuck out of the hold. The hallways in this part of the freighter were mostly abandoned. He quickly found the airlock, and slipped out. He was in some sort of hangar. He glanced at the regulations posted on one wall. The writing was Nubian. Anakin made his was out of the hangar, and grinned. He was in the spaceport quadrant of Theed, Naboo's capitol. Perfect.
"Hold on, Amidala," he said. "I'm comin'."