leather
bondage
s&M
cross-dressing
fisting
uniforms
golden showers
scat
pumping
3's & groups
piercing
spanking
glory holes
public sex
anonymous
sex clubs
toys
porn
foreskins
cbt/tt
animal training
electricity
felching
role playing
shaving
she-males
latex
feet
voyeurism
hot wax
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What makes something kinky? What one
person finds odd, another will do without thinking twice. Kinkiness,
like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Some of the stuff
listed here will gross some of you out (some of it squicks me..),
others will page through it thinking "What does he mean,
'kinky'? I do this all the time..."
There's also a big difference between
having a kink and having a fetish. A kink is an activity or accessory
that you enjoy, while a fetish is one without which you can't
get any pleasure. |
l e a t h e r
The feel, the smell, the look. There's
nothing like it. Dark, smooth leather, clinging tightly to the
perfect curve of an ass... It gives a man a aspect of danger
and inspires the most fervent of fantasies. From bars and bath-houses
to literature and magazines, leather is an integral part of many
gay men's lives. There's even a version of the rainbow flag.
The leather community is large and varied.
Old guard, cigar-smoking, bearded "daddies" and their
"boys", are joined by a new crop of younger, hipper,
less-traditional men and women. Once hide-bound (if you'll pardon
the expression) and insular, in recent years the scene is become
much more diverse and inclusive. It's also become common to find
men who are involved on a more casual basis, wearing leather
and hanging out in the bars, but not as deeply tied into the
community.
The mental aspects of leather are way too
much to go into here. But I will talk about one that I find especially
important. Donning leather can externalize the emotional armor
that all men carry around with them. Removing the outer layer
symbolically allows for letting down the inner. It can let you
open up to your own deeper desires and needs.
Some common pieces of leather apparel
- Chaps
- Harness
- Masks
- Shorts
- Gloves
- Collars
b o n d a g e
Leather, bondage and s/m are all closely
related, but just because someone is into one aspect doesn't
mean they're into all of them. Bondage by itself is about control,
power, and sensation. Being bound motionless can increase sensitivity.
Pushing against the limits of movement, straining at the bonds
increases the tension and focuses attention inward, to the sensations
your partner is providing.
However, the most powerful aspect of bondage
lies not in the physical affects, but the mental. For men who
hold themselves tightly controlled, such as Skinner or Ellison,
externalizing the bounds allows internal freedom. When you no
longer have to worry about losing control because your body is
controlled from outside, you can let go of the self-restraints.
You can allow yourself to experience sensation and emotion without
constantly monitoring your own reactions. This freedom is a profound
change, letting the bound partner release parts of themselves
that are normally inaccessible.
For the top, bondage contains many of the
same elements. There is the power inherent in having your partner
tied and at your mercy, and the responsibility that carries.
You have access to another's body in a way most people wouldn't
allow. This gives you the opportunity to take your pleasure,
but also to give pleasure. Being trusted is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Bondage scenes can vary from the simple
use of a pair of handcuffs to total restraint scenarios lasting
days.
Some common bondage toys:
- Handcuffs
- Restraints
- Gags
- Leg Irons
- Slings
- Cross Bars
- Body Bag
s & m
While closely related to bondage and leather,
S/M goes beyond its cousins. S/M stands for either Slave/Master
or Sado-Masochism (from the Marquis de Sade, who wrote about
the joy of causing pain and Sacher-Masoch who wrote the complementary
work on the joys of receiving pain). While pain can be an integral
part of S/M relationships, again it's the mental/emotional aspects
that are the most profound. I'm not really the best person to
talk about this, as I'm not really into it, but for more information
on S/M, check out one of these excellent websites.
Insert website list here.
Some common toys for S/M scenes
- Whips
- Paddles
- Chains
- Clothespins
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