I can understand your reasons for starting this project, it's a praiseworthy idea, but it would go long way to proving your ability to make the critiques if you sounded less like smug, giggling teenagers. You might be 65 years old for all I know, but your exposition is written in a pubescent 'voice'. This gets you 'cute' points, but you still have to convince me you have more than rote intelligence and are anything other than self-satisfied Sophmores.

I notice you haven't tried tackling more than a couple of the more well recognized fan fiction authors. Where you have... there is a distinct lack of intelligent, critical thought. Your recommendations for improvement are laughable. Obviously you know something of technique, but nothing of style.

Maybe you should try your hand to reviewing the 'younger' fandoms. There's Buffy, yaoi and reams of real people slash out there. Not only do these writers need a lot of help and guidance, but they should also be much more responsive to your tone and word usage.

Just in case you think I'm a sore loser in the critique game... I'm not a writer. You won't find anything written by me on the web or in a zine.

Enjoy English 201 -- I hope it's enlightening.

***

Although I diagree with a few of the opinions stated at this site, on the whole I am so happy to have this kind of advise at my disposal. After writing for only a year, I already realize that feedback is encouraging, but not particularly helpful. People are definitely afraid of pissing off the author. Glad to see there is a place I can go to now if I'm looking for true contructive critizism.

One other issue you may want to address, is the lack of research evident in some stories. I'm talking about everything from details on guns to drug reactions. I especially hate it when a character undergoes a highly tramatic experience, but is all sunshine and roses afterwards.

I've rambled on quite a bit here, but at least you know I'm serious when I say I really like the site.

***

I like this very much. Frankly, it comes with the territory and I would prefer to have someone who cared chop me to little pieces than someone who just was being a dick.

My Oz stuff is out there. Critique away.

***

CABS real person slash:

The trio made their way to the gates of the Fairy Kingdom. It was quiet, too quiet. They tried to sneak in but when they entered they were confronted by two women.

Mandy hissed, "Virginia Plain and Jane Doe, we meet again."

"Stop!" Virginia said. "This story has gone far enough. You've taken a children's movie and turned it into nothing more then mindless pornography. Further more, it's not a plausible cross over!"

"We cannot let this slash go any further," said Jane. "You must learn to write the way WE want you to or you won't write at all!"

They motioned with their arms and about 20 soldiers fell out behind them.

"What is it?" Curt asked.

"It's the Cunt Army from the land of CABS," Mandy said. "Jareth must really be desperate to go into alliance with them."

"Are you going to stop?" Virginia asked.

"Never!" Arthur cried.

"Then die!"

The army raised their weapons and advanced. Curt, Many, and Arthur were pushed back against the wall, helpless. Suddenly, they heard someone shout "Stop!" They looked up and saw Jack leap from the top of the gates. He stood before them. "Call off your army Jane!"

"Or what?"

Jack started waving his cigarette holder and muttering under his breath. He pointed it at Virginia and she turned into Mark Renton, then he waved it at Jane who was transformed to Frank Churchill.

"My god," said Frank, "you look exactly like me! That makes me so horny!" Both of them started throwing their cloths off and pawing at each other.

"Wait," said Mark. "Isn't this like masturbation?"

"Oh, I don't care!" Frank cried, turning around and bending over. "Fuck my unlubed ass with your pulsing love stick!"

Mark saddled up behind him and started pounding away. The Cunt Army was baffled by the actions of their leaders. No longer knowing what to do, they soon gave themselves over to pleasure. In no time at all the ground of the Fairy Kingdom was covered in a frantic, sweaty orgy.

- CarrieGlitter's Into the Labyrinth

I would like to add that Virginia has never sodomized me. I won't allow it until our wedding night. - Jane

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