A few things you should check your stories for before you put them up on the 'net. In other words, this is the stuff that your friends won't mention in their feedback, but we will.

Spell check is your friend. Possibly even your best friend. Everyone has a spell checking function somewhere on their computers. Most word processing software not only has spell check, but also has a grammar check. Use them. Before you present your story to the world via the Internet or any other medium, check your spelling and your grammar. It's probably a good idea to have someone else check it, too, for stuff you might have missed.

As a general rule, punctuation goes inside the quotations. It doesn't get any simpler than that.

Excessive punctuation and capitalization is just that -- excessive. There are stories out there that have capitals, colons, slashes, elipses, and emoticons all over the place for emphasis, and not only is it excessive, it's aesthetically disgusting. When it comes to showing emphasis, less is more. Italics works best, provided it's not overdone, but if you need a replacement for italics, do something simple like an underscore around the word that you want emphasized.

Don't put everything in one huge paragraph. As far as paragraphs go, the general rule is that any time you begin a new thought, begin a new paragraph. Short paragraphs are your friend. One sentence paragraphs can be used to drive home a powerful point, but use them sparingly, unless you're doing it for dialogue. And while we're on the topic of paragraphing and dialogue, don't have more than one person speaking per paragraph. New speaker equals new paragraph.

There is no such thing as a perfect person. Hence, there is no such thing as a perfect character. Flawless characters are not fiction, they are outright lies. Perfect people are boring. Some people may be gorgeous, smart, have great bodies and be blessed with some fabulous talent, but if they are human, I assure you they possess some flaw. They probably possess several. Flaws are what make people interesting. A flaw doesn't have to be as glaring as a nasty drug habit or a criminal record, nor does said flaw have to be dwelt on.

Know the mechanics of sex if you're going to include it in your story. I never realized how many misconceptions and how misinformed people were until I started reading erotica on the 'net. It seems to me that a lot of people who have never had sex are doing an awful lot of writing of it. If you don't know something, either ask someone who does or go searching around for it. There is no shortage of information about sex, especially on the Internet. Use a reliable source, though, not Jim-Bob's House of Amateur Porn Stories. Here is a quick reference for some of the most common mistakes:

*Average penis length is about five and a half to six inches, not eight or nine.
*Average breast size for a woman is a b-cup, about the size of an orange, not a cantaloupe.
*Lubrication is pretty much a necessity where penetration is concerned.
*Women do not have prostates; men do not have breasts.
*Couples don't normally climax at the same time, especially not on their first night together.

Homonyms are not interchangable, no way, no how. Like sex scenes written by unknowledgable people, misued homonyms run rampant on the 'net. Here's a quick reference of some commonly confused words:

it's = a contraction of "it is."
its = shows possesion, as in "belonging to someone."

there = noun; a place.
their = shows possession.
they're = a contraction of "they are."

lose = the opposite of win
loose = the opposite of tight

and, the worst offender of all:
your = shows possession.
you're = a contraction for "you are."

Don't write whole stories around song lyrics. Song stories usually go something like this: a verse from a song is quoted, and then the character goes through a series of actions that epitomizes exactly what the song lyrics described. This goes on until the song has been quoted in its entirety. Song stories rarely make as much sense to or have as much of an impact on the reader as they do the person who wrote it, probably because they make two big assumptions: that the reader knows the song, and that the reader will have the same emotional reaction to and association with the song that the author does. That's too many assumptions. Not everyone listens to the same music as you do, and if you used an obscure song or band you're doubly screwed. Secondly, not everyone will connect to a song the same way you do. What is a touching love song to one person is trite and whiny to another.

Don't write in dialect unless you're going to be consistent. That means if you write "fookin' shite" once, you've got to write it throughout the rest of the story, every time that person is speaking. If it's a third-person story, don't write in dialect unless the person who speaks in the dialect is actually talking. If it's a first-person story, resign yourself to the fact that you're going to be writing it every time. Being consistent also means that you have to write every word of every sentence that character speaks in dialect.

Read your story out loud at each draft. If a sentence is awkward or doesn't flow, work on it until it goes smoothly. Definitely read dialogue out loud. Make sure it sounds natural. Avoid melodramatic monologues and trite declarations of love. Have at least one other person (someone who will give you honest feedback) read the story at what you believe to be the completed draft to get reactions and opinions. If you do not know someone who will give you honest feedback, send the story to us.

Don't write descriptive paragraphs as though they are grocery lists. "He had this," "he had that," "he wore this and that and had this color hair and this color eyes" will have your readers skimming (or worse, snoozing) by the end of the second grocery-list paragraph. Don't attempt to squeeze every physical detail of a character, from their hair color to the color nail polish on their toes, in one paragraph. Likewise, don't attempt this with their entire life story, either.

If you're going to ask for feedback on your work, be prepared to handle it. Not everyone is going to say "Great story. More please." Some people are going to say, "It was trite, vapid, had no plot or characterization (or, conversely, the same plot as your last five fan fics), and quite frankly, was awful." Don't weasel out of negative criticism by saying "flames will be ignored." Flames are things said against you, as a person, with the intent of abuse. Criticisms against your writing are just that -- criticisms against your writing. There's a big difference between "I hate you," and "I hate your writing." For a more detailed discussion on flaming vs. critiquing, click here.

- Virginia